Nijinsky
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145 ‘I had to tell Nijinsky’: Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 473.
145 ‘Let Diaghilev give it’: ibid., p. 474.
146 ‘It’s a possibility’: ibid., p. 475.
146 ‘I shall have to part’: ibid., p. 475.
7 ROSES, 1913–1914
148 ‘Twenty-one days’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 218.
148 ‘the agreeable routine’: ibid., p. 217.
149 ‘our art’: Tamara Nijinsky, Nijinsky and Romola, p. 87.
149 ‘She is also alone’: Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 478.
149 ‘endless talks about Nijinsky’: Rambert, Quicksilver: The Autobiography of Marie Rambert, p. 72.
149 ‘he was only absorbed’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 214
150 ‘harboured a burning’: Tamara Nijinsky, Nijinsky and Romola, p. 58.
151 eating his glass: Massine, My Life in Ballet, p. 62.
151 ‘courteous … Pas casser!’: Rambert, Quicksilver: The Autobiography of Marie Rambert, p. 74.
151 ‘Oh, she … Diaghilev’s lover’: ibid., p. 74.
152 ‘Nijinsky gave me … a lift’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 230.
152 ‘Romola Carlovna … oui, oui’: ibid., pp. 231–2.
152 ‘her affection was not’: Tamara Nijinsky, Nijinsky and Romola, p. 87.
153 ‘This is indeed’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 232.
153 ‘utterly heartless … without him’: ibid., pp. 235–6.
153 ‘not quite sure’: ibid., p. 237.
153 ‘I am not stupid’: Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 480.
154 ‘saying that of all’: Rambert, Quicksilver: The Autobiography of Marie Rambert, p. 75.
154 ‘rather dreary … so worried’: Sokolova interviewed in Drummond (ed.), Speaking of Diaghilev, p. 147.
155 ‘strong undercurrent’: Tamara Nijinsky, Nijinsky and Romola, p. 94.
155 ‘they all seemed happy’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 241.
155 ‘handed to Anna’: ibid., p. 245.
155 ‘made me notice … of happiness’: ibid., pp. 245–6.
157 ‘madly superstitious … beloved child’: Sert, Two or Three Muses, p. 120.
157 ‘Diaghilev burst out again’: ibid., p. 120.
157 ‘As high as Nijinsky’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 257.
157 ‘an escape … the friendship’: Haskell, Balletomania, p. 67.
158 ‘for I believe’: Tamara Nijinsky, Nijinsky and Romola, p. 116.
158 ‘a being never’: A. L. Haskell, Diaghileff: His Artistic and Private Life (London, 1935), p. 255. Through Arnold Haskell and as Stravinsky’s first ghostwriter, Walter Nouvel was one of Diaghilev’s staunchest defenders against the memory of his former lover. According to him, it was the already ‘debauched’ (Haskell and Nouvel, Diaghileff, p. 252) Nijinsky who pursued Diaghilev sexually, rather than the other way round; without Diaghilev, he would have been no more than ‘another brilliant dancer among brilliant dancers’ (Haskell, Balletomania, p. 66); when Nijinsky is choreographing, ‘Diaghilev can truly be said to be in sole command’ (Haskell and Nouvel, Diaghileff, p. 71); Nijinsky did not understand music; by the time of their break Nijinsky was a ‘spent force’ (Haskell and Nouvel, Diaghileff, p. 254).
158 ‘had to ejaculate’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 53.
158 ‘experiencing a feeling’: ibid., p. 155.
159 ‘was not mature’: ibid., p. 165.
159 ‘the background … flaccid will’: Gold and Fizdale, Misia: The Life of Misia Sert, p. 124.
159 ‘a wild orgy’: ibid., p. 160.
159 ‘He was sitting alone’: Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 489.
160 ‘for treating Nijinsky’: Grigoriev, The Diaghilev Ballet, 1909–1929, p. 101.
160 ‘Be kind and’: Buckle, Diaghilev, p. 264 and Stravinsky and Craft, Memories and Commentaries, p. 135.
160 ‘Of course … moral sense’: Scheijen, Diaghilev, p. 280 and Stravinsky and Craft, Stravinsky in Pictures and Documents, p. 106.
161 ‘There was a heavenly moment’: Rambert, Quicksilver: The Autobiography of Marie Rambert, p. 78.
162 ‘I asked her’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 143.
163 ‘for material things’: Tamara Nijinsky, Nijinsky and Romola, p. 43.
163 ‘I am only an artist’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, pp. 252–3.
163 ‘she loved me’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 143.
163 ‘a young, good-looking’: ibid., p. 59.
163 ‘the intelligent Romola’: ibid., p. 56.
163 ‘prevent her from’: ibid., p. 12.
163 ‘I was petrified … be helpful’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 255.
163 ‘whole world had collapsed’: Sokolova, Dancing for Diaghilev, p. 50.
165 ‘engagements on golden trays’: Garafola, Diaghilev’s Ballets Russes, p. 190.
165 ‘something like a million francs’: Scheijen, Diaghilev, p. 284.
165 ‘I can’t believe’: Scheijen, Diaghilev, p. 283 and Stravinsky and Craft, Memories and Commentaries, p. 38.
165 ‘It seems incredible’: Buckle, Nijinsky, p. 333.
165 ‘his legendary irresistible charm’: Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 490.
166 ‘When we parted’: ibid., p. 491.
167 ‘sandwiched between’: Macdonald, Diaghilev Observed by Critics in England and the United States, 1911–1929, p. 108. Nijinsky interviewed by T. P.’s Magazine, 1911.
167 ‘to perfect himself’: Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 390.
167 ‘He also felt’: Romola Nijinska, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 257.
167 ‘I was the intruder’: ibid., p. 258.
168 ‘to shrink … the end’: Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 501.
168 Romola says her eyes filled with tears to see Vaslav perform after a clown and before a popular singer, but here and below I have followed the Palace’s programme as reproduced in Macdonald, Diaghilev Observed by Critics in England and the United States, 1911–1929, p. 109.
168 ‘with a pang … had vanished’: Beaumont, The Diaghilev Ballet in London, p. 79.
169 ‘the responsibility and’: Beaumont, Bookseller at the Ballet: Memoirs 1891 to 1929, p. 151.
169 ‘It was as if’: Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 503.
169 ‘Is this what’: Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 506.
169 ‘a wretched choice’: ibid., p. 506.
170 ‘Mais, il est fou’: Monteux, It’s All in the Music: The Life and Work of Pierre Monteux, p. 90.
170 ‘busily revising his past’: R. Tarushkin quoted in van den Toorn, Stravinsky and The Rite of Spring, p. 17.
171 ‘his ignorance of’: I. Stravinsky, An Autobiography (New York), p. 40.
171 many believed his work: like the composer François Poulenc, who saw it in his teens. See Krasovskaya, Nijinsky, p. 272.
171 ‘had attempted to do’: Massine, My Life in Ballet, p. 152.
171 ‘very sensitive to’: Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 456.
171 ‘unjust’: Berg, Le Sacre du printemps, p. 41.
171 ‘by far the best’: Rambert, Quicksilver: The Autobiography of Marie Rambert, p. 59; Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 471.
171 ‘This year … always admired’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 265.
172 ‘Massine’s aim is’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 37.
172 ‘Massine a taste for fame’: ibid., p. 102.
172 ‘terrible beauty … in everything’: Easton, The Red Count, p. 208.
172 ‘all the … whole company’: Buckle, Nijinsky, p. 342.
172 ‘one single excruciating’: Tamara Nijinsky, Nijinsky and Romola, p. 111.
172 ‘Now I am beginning’: Gold and Fizdale, Misia: The Life of Misia Se
rt, p. 123.
173 ‘avaricious [and] … nobody did’: Melville, Diaghilev and Friends, p. 127.
173 ‘that cretinous lackey’: Holroyd, Lytton Strachey: a Critical Biography, Vol. II, p. 109.
8 MEPHISTO VALSE, 1914–1918
174 ‘All these young men’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 272.
175 ‘quarrelled for eighteen months’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 211.
175 ‘I loved her’: ibid., p. 142.
175 ‘small silk panties’: ibid., p. 48.
175 ‘an enchanted habitation’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 279.
176 ‘invent signs which’: M. Sandoz, The Crystal Salt Cellar (Guildford, 1954), p. 66.
176 ‘But we loved it’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 280.
177 ‘I now have a family … such conditions?’: ibid., p. 317.
178 ‘Everyone but Kahn’: Sokolova, Dancing for Diaghilev, p. 80.
178 ‘harmed rather than abetted’: Tamara Nijinsky, Nijinsky and Romola, p. 132.
178 ‘extremely pretty … creative urge’: Magriel, Nijinsky, Pavlova, Duncan: Three Lives in Dance, pp. 46–7.
179 ‘I am quartered’: ibid., p. 47.
179 ‘energy, his ardour’: ibid., p. 51.
180 ‘suspicious of everyone’: Grigoriev, The Diaghilev Ballet, 1909–1929, p. 111.
180 ‘universally loved despite’: Bourman, The Tragedy of Nijinsky, p. 235.
180 ‘pompous [and] … totally’: ibid., p. 253.
180 ‘when he came on stage’: Keynes, Lydia Lopokova, p. 2.
180 ‘I had never imagined’: Garafola, Diaghilev’s Ballets Russes, p. 203.
181 ‘She puts into his mouth’: Sokolova, Dancing for Diaghilev, p. 91.
181 ‘not high enough’: Magriel, Nijinsky, Pavlova, Duncan: Three Lives in Dance p. 58.
181 ‘Your scenery is so bad’: ibid., p. 56.
181 ‘drenched in pathos’: ibid., p. 58.
182 ‘taken out of’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 159.
182 ‘from the front lines’: Garafola, Diaghilev’s Ballets Russes, p. 73.
182 ‘the most magnificent’: O. Sitwell, Great Morning (London, 1948), p. 242.
182 $250,000: Garafola, Diaghilev’s Ballets Russes, p. 206.
182 ‘negro who makes love’: Buckle, Nijinsky, p. 360.
182 ‘a serious man’: C. Chaplin, My Autobiography (London, 1964), p. 206.
182 ‘The mystic world’: ibid., p. 205.
183 ‘un très grand artiste’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 142.
183 ‘intense poignancy’: Seymour, Ottoline Morrell: Life on a Grand Scale, p. 232.
183 ‘far more … they express’: Gathorne-Hardy (ed.), Ottoline: the Early Memoirs of Lady Ottoline Morrell, p. 239.
184 ‘I see a divorce … worse … worse’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 349.
185 ‘felt as if’: ibid., p. 353.
185 ‘hot blooded heterosexual’: Richardson, Picasso, vol. 3, The Triumphant Years, p. 7.
186 ‘lots of cherries’: Sandoz, The Crystal Salt Cellar, p. 53.
186 ‘fatter and fatter’: Gold and Fizdale, Misia: The Life of Misia Sert, p. 171. Letter dated 1915.
186 ‘burst into the lobby … prove it’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, pp. 357–8.
186 ‘the music … but, instead’: Stravinsky and Craft, Stravinsky in Pictures and Documents, p. 512.
186 ‘where the violent … stand that’: A. Rubinstein, My Many Years (London, 1980), p. 11.
187 ‘He had an instinctive’: Massine, My Life in Ballet, pp. 86–7.
187 ‘but like two accomplices’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 361.
187 ‘I sensed now’: ibid., p. 362.
188 ‘Femmka, I am sorry’: ibid., p. 366.
188 ‘I wanted to’: ibid., p. 369.
189 ‘how beautiful he was’: F. Reiss, Nijinsky: A Biography (London, 1960), p. 168.
189 ‘One of the most endearing’: ibid., p. 168.
189 ‘as so many vermin … him bitterly’: Oliveroff, Flight of the Swan: A Memory of Anna Pavlova, p. 168.
189 ‘feverishly concerned’: ibid., p. 161.
190 ‘utterly foreign world’: ibid., p. 164.
190 ‘better than ever’: Rubinstein, My Many Years, p. 12.
190 ‘She was cunning’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 142.
191 ‘Nijinsky gave a few … endless ovation’: Rubinstein, My Many Years, p. 16.
9 SPECTRE, 1918–1950
192 ‘our house … happy one’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, pp. 386–7.
193 ‘I like family life’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 225.
193 ‘a very happy’: Tamara Nijinsky, Nijinsky and Romola, p. 179, quoting a letter from Marta Grant in the Daily Telegraph, September 1979.
193 ‘Romola was the most ’: Marta Grant in Tamara Nijinsky, Nijinsky and Romola, p. 182.
193 ‘looked like … it already’: ibid., pp. 179–80.
193 ‘We decided to’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 393.
194 ‘God said to me’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 14.
194 ‘did not slip’: P. Ostwald, Vaslav Nijinsky: A Leap into Madness (London, 1991), p. 226.
195 ‘an exquisite little girl … to grow’: Sandoz, The Crystal Salt Cellar, p. 66.
196 ‘Oh no! Her grandfather’: ibid., p. 68.
196 ‘show how dances’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 406.
196 ‘I will tell her’: ibid., p. 406.
196 ‘How dare you disturb me!’: ibid., p. 407.
196 ‘We’re at war’: Sandoz, The Crystal Salt Cellar, p. 72.
197 ‘Now I will dance’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 407.
197 ‘And we saw’: Sandoz, The Crystal Salt Cellar, p. 73.
198 ‘it was the dance’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 408.
198 ‘A shiver of fear … delicious grace’: Sandoz, The Crystal Salt Cellar, p. 75.
198 ‘It must be very, very difficult’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 408.
198 ‘The audience came’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, pp. 6–7.
198 ‘the sentences repeated’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 409.
199 ‘To my knowledge’: Nijinsky (ed.), Diary of Vaslav Nijinsky, p. vii.
199 ‘means intuitive perception’: ibid., p. xlix.
199 ‘I am afraid’: ibid., p. 10.
199 ‘I am God in man’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 32.
199 ‘Reading it is like’: M. B. Siegel, Mirrors and Scrims: The Life and Afterlife of Ballet (Middletown, CT, 2010), p. 19.
200 ‘to find out’: J. D. Salinger, Franny and Zooey (Boston, MA, 1961), p. 33.
200 ‘I am not a magician’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 73.
200 ‘I will eat everyone’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 154.
200 ‘who prevent small birds’: ibid., p. 37.
201 ‘To understand … well developed’: ibid., p. 30.
201 ‘I am an Egyptian’: ibid., p. 44.
201 ‘I am a peasant’: ibid., p. 184.
201 ‘terrible things … terrible thing’: ibid., pp. 155–6.
201 ‘not want people to think’: ibid., p. 104.
202 ‘You do not want to live with me’: ibid., pp. 256 and 261.
202 ‘had enough of this’: ibid., p. 10.
202 ‘You think I am stupid’: ibid., p. 128.
202 ‘more than anyone else’: ibid., p. 21.
203 ‘I do not like’: ibid., p. 56.
203 ‘splinters and mosaics’: quoted in J. Lehrer, Proust
was a Neuroscientist (Edinburgh, 2012), p. 177.
203 ‘loves me in his heart’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 89.
203 ‘He is a tidy man’: ibid., p. 163.
203 ‘She thinks that love’: ibid., p. 29.
203 ‘wants money because’: ibid., p. 174.
203 ‘I am an unthinking’: ibid., p. 52.
203 ‘whirring of wings’: Virginia Woolf in Lehrer, Proust was a Neuroscientist, p. 171.
203 ‘The quality of abstraction … seldom understood’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. xli.
204 ‘Later, too, I came to understand’: Stravinsky and Craft, Memories and Commentaries, p. 35.
204 ‘he had no reason’: C. Wilson, The Outsider (London, 1990), p. 103.
204 ‘a verbal expression’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 1 (FitzLyon’s note).
204 ‘I am standing … abandoned by God’: ibid., p. xxv.
204 ‘I feel so much pain’: ibid., pp. 144–5.
204 ‘I have been told’: ibid., pp. 151–2.
205 ‘something total … and nowhere’: Kavanagh, Rudolf Nureyev: The Life, p. 187.
205 ‘more abundant life’: Wilson, The Outsider, p. 101.
205 ‘the working life … entirely destructive’: John Russell quoted in John Heilpern article in The Times, 2 January 1982.
205 ‘I want to dance’: Nijinsky, Nijinsky’s Diary, p. 4.
205 ‘with tears in her voice’: ibid., p. 141.
206 ‘Before us we have’: Accocella in ibid., p. xxvi.
206 ‘I am afraid of people’: ibid., p. 8.
206 ‘I do not know’: ibid., p. 60.
206 ‘Come on out!’: ibid., p. 16.
207 ‘Femmka, you are bringing’: Romola Nijinsky, Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky, p. 411.
207 ‘a trail of madness’: Gathorne-Hardy (ed.), Ottoline: the Early Memoirs of Lady Ottoline Morrell, p. 228.
207 ‘a shade worn … great art’: Draper, Music at Midnight, p. 142.
208 ‘living in a dream world’: Scheijen, Diaghilev, p. 349.
209 ‘If that’s what’: Gold and Fizdale, Misia: The Life of Misia Sert, p. 235.
209 ‘Take off … clothes on’: ibid., p. 235.
212 ‘his dancing is’: Ostwald, Vaslav Nijinsky: A Leap into Madness, p. 224.
212 ‘Why am I locked up?’: ibid., p. 238.
212 ‘Would you believe … be created’: Nijinska, Early Memoirs, p. 514.
213 ‘as though an unspoken conspiracy’: Tamara Nijinsky, Nijinsky and Romola, p. 220.