by Karin Baine
‘I’m grand.’
And people wondered where she got her stubborn streak from. There was no point telling him how close to death he’d come. He knew. He simply wouldn’t admit it to her or himself.
She waited for something more—a complaint about sharing a room with the general public, a request for water, an acknowledgement of what it meant for her to be here. Nothing. Not even an attempt to keep his eyes open.
Violet took deep breaths to try and quieten the urge to treat this as some sort of therapy session, unleashing years of unresolved issues in a verbal tirade while he was strapped down and forced to listen. He was still a sick man and she was living with enough guilt without having to shoulder the blame for his possible relapse. She’d waited this long, she could hold out a little longer to say her piece. Preferably when he and Strachmore were back on their feet and she’d bought a return ticket to London.
‘And how are we doing today, Lord Dempsey? You were asleep when I came by earlier.’ The sound of Nate’s voice close to Violet’s ear made her jump. Lost in her inner raging, she hadn’t heard him approach, hadn’t expected him to purposely come within five hundred yards of her after last night.
Even while she was trying to find the courage to face him her cheeks were burning. Looking him in the eye after her epic seduction fail was akin to watching your drunk antics at a wedding back on video. Except she didn’t have alcohol to blame for losing control of her mind and there was definitely nobody getting married around here.
‘I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, Doctor.’
Violet could only shake her head in disgusted wonder as Rip Van Winkle bypassed her with the truth in favour of the medical professional. It said everything about their lack of communication and trust.
‘Your body went through a lot yesterday so you are going to be quite sore for a while. We’ll give you some more pain relief to make you more comfortable in the meantime. I don’t have a problem with you calling me Nate if you prefer, Lord Dempsey.’ He was smiling as he reached for the chart at the end of the bed with no obvious signs of long-lasting trauma after her little display last night. Things could’ve been awkward but he apparently wasn’t going to make an issue of it. Not in public at least.
‘Why would I want to do that?’ Her father was making an effort to sit up now, scowling as he did so.
Violet’s stomach sank with the realisation he didn’t know who it was who had saved his life. Nate deserved some sort of recognition. ‘You remember Nate, Dad? Bill and Margaret Taylor’s son? He’s a cardiologist now.’
‘For now we need you to rest but as soon as you’re feeling up to it we’ll need to get you moving, even if it’s just to sit in the chair by the bed. It’s important we get the blood flowing around your body again.’ Nate ignored her attempts to big him up and went about his doctory business.
Violet couldn’t help the eye-rolling when she might as well be talking to the walls today for all the notice anyone was paying her. Perhaps she’d actually died of embarrassment when Nate had walked out last night and this was actually her ghost standing by the bedside whom no one could apparently see or hear.
‘Nathaniel?’ He was peering at Nate, his face screwed up in a sneer. Yeah, the penny had finally dropped.
Nate gave a curt nod. ‘There appears to be some narrowing of your arteries, Lord Dempsey, and we will have to look into the possibility of a surgical intervention before they become blocked again.’
‘You had a lucky escape this time, thanks to Nate.’ She wanted to fend off the vitriol she could see was already building with his strength.
‘I want to go home.’ There was no thanks or recognition this man had saved his life, only demands.
Violet didn’t know why that should surprise her. Owing his life to someone he’d looked down on for most of his life would mean admitting his stereotyping had been wrong. That chaos theory would rip his entire belief system apart. It was about time.
‘I’m afraid you can’t just yet. We need to build up your mobility gradually so you don’t overdo it. Trust me, we want you recovered and out of here as soon as possible too. We need the bed.’ Nate still managed to crack a joke even though it was probably killing him as much as her not to bite back.
‘And when you do, you’re going to have to cut back on the whiskey and cigars, Dad.’ It was time he took responsibility for his own actions to save his own skin if no one else’s.
‘Just like your mother. Trying to tell me what to do. Who asked you to come back here anyway?’ The old curmudgeon closed his eyes and lay back down. Conversation over as far as he was concerned.
Violet’s blood was boiling. All anyone had tried to do was help him and all they ever got in return was verbal abuse. The olive branch she’d held out was being whacked around her head with every dismissive utterance.
‘This is for your own good. If you don’t want me here, if you don’t want Nate involved, then start looking after yourself.’ In all the years she’d spent with her own patients, she’d always been able to tread carefully and keep her temper in check in the toughest circumstances. Right now it was stretched to snapping point. There’d been a very good reason she’d left her personal baggage in a different country—it made her a different person. A weaker one.
He didn’t bat an eyelid.
‘This is something we can discuss once your father is up to it. Lifestyle will be something we’ll cover during rehabilitation. I think we should let you rest now, Lord Dempsey.’ Nate addressed her directly for the first time since he’d sneaked in and it was to undermine the stance she was trying to take here.
She swung around, hands on hips, and tried to communicate via the medium of dirty looks how ticked off she was with him. The patient gave a grunt next to them, which Violet knew amounted to another dismissal. The chance to get everything off her chest had passed and she wasn’t best pleased about it.
Nate did his own spot of mime, nodding towards the door. She had no option but to follow when he turned on his heel and walked away from the volcanic eruption she was building up to. She didn’t attempt to quieten the fast click of her footsteps out into the hallway after him.
‘What?’ She was mad at him, her father and, most of all, herself for ending up back in this situation.
He held one hand up in surrender, with the other resting on the door handle of that dreaded family room. ‘Can we talk?’
‘Not in there.’ She was already on the edge without being forced to relive that nightmare again.
‘That’s right. It’ll be safer for me if we go somewhere more...public.’
She heard the tease in his voice before she noticed the glint in his eye and the dimples blossoming in his cheeks. It was too hard to stay mad when he was giving her his best ‘naughty puppy’ look. Violet groaned in defeat. It had been too good to be true to think he would let last night’s shenanigans sink without a trace.
‘What can I say? I was clearly in the midst of some sort of breakdown. I promise not to try and jump your bones today. I’m sure there’s some sort of medical ethics involved where you’re not allowed to bring that up without my permission.’ The only blessing about this continued humiliation was that, by turning it into a joke at her expense, they’d broken the ice before it had time to fully form between them.
She was loath to admit it but she needed him as a friend if nothing else. It was one thing being strong and independent when you were able to leave all of your troubles at work, quite another when they followed you home at night and invited their mates round to party. A familiar, if not overly friendly, face was the only thing stopping her from being completely overwhelmed and jumping on the first plane back.
‘That really only applies if you’re my patient...’
‘I’m sure with the stress I’m under that’s a definite possibility. So, if we can forget that ever happ
ened...you wanted to talk?’ If her father was going to continue playing dumb she was going to have to get back to Strachmore and make a start on that pretty red paper trail. She knew she wasn’t going to like what she found at the end of it.
Nate gestured towards the empty plastic chairs in the corridor. It wasn’t exactly the cosiest set-up for a heart-to-heart but there was every possibility she’d break her promise if they were holed up in that confined space again together. That white doctor coat suited him. It said he was in charge and that was irresistible to someone whose own confidence was floundering more with every second she spent back here.
‘First off, I wasn’t trying to interfere in there. I know you have a lot of things to sort out with your father but it’s going to have to wait.’
She was so intent on watching his lips and imagining how differently things could’ve turned out last night, it took a few seconds for his words to register. ‘Sorry. What?’
‘We need to keep his stress levels to a minimum while he recovers. The lectures can wait until we get him through the other side of this. Trust me, we’ll be giving a few of our own on his lifestyle before he leaves.’ He rested his hand on top of hers, probably the way he offered his support to all family members who walked these hallways. Violet wondered if his touch had the same effect on them. The bolt of electricity shooting through her at the point of contact was powerful enough to make the heart defibrillators redundant.
She slid her hand out from his so she could think clearly. ‘You’re asking me to back off?’
‘For now, yes.’ He could just as well be talking about the inappropriate thoughts she kept having about him.
Back off. Stop picturing me wearing nothing but my stethoscope.
She reluctantly agreed. The strength of her willpower would surely be tested over the next few days. In both areas.
‘Now, I don’t want to tread on your toes any more than I already have but I was thinking about Strachmore.’ His scowl seemed only natural. It pained Violet every time she thought of the place too.
‘Did the nightmares keep you awake last night?’ She thought he appeared a little more rugged this morning and had hoped that spurning her advances had kept him awake with regret.
Oh, wait. That had been her.
Nate gave her his version of the death stare. It didn’t have the same menacing effect when he puckered his lips at her. She was simply tempted to help smooth them out again.
‘I’m serious. I had a few ideas of what you could do to generate some income.’
‘I’m listening.’ So far her only plans had included selling up or torching the place for the insurance money. Both of which had her conscience screaming ‘Cop out!’ She’d probably find herself haunted by the ghosts of past earls for eternity if she surrendered their legacy so easily. Besides, she was none too fond of playing with matches. There was always a chance of getting burned.
‘Okay, so, I was thinking more long-term financial stability. A way of making the estate self-sufficient. You have beautiful gardens, large banqueting areas and floors of empty bedrooms. It’s the perfect wedding venue. Stately homes are all the rage these days and not only for receptions. You can apply for a licence to actually hold the ceremonies on site—’ Nate had obviously given this a lot of thought in the space of a few hours. No doubt it was a ploy to get her out of the country quick smart before she put him in any more awkward situations.
‘That sounds...complicated.’ She rubbed her temples, the mere thought of tackling this bringing on another tension headache.
‘Perhaps, at the beginning, but once everything is in place I’m pretty sure the bookings will come flooding in.’ He made it sound so simple.
‘Where do you even begin with that sort of thing?’ It sounded like a lot of hard work that would keep her here far beyond a couple of weeks’ paid leave. She didn’t want to start something she’d be expected to see through to the end. Her idea of helping was to get the bills paid while her father was laid up, not take on a whole new set of problems on his behalf.
‘You’ll need public liability insurance for a start, and then the licences for alcohol, entertainment, et cetera. There’d have to be a fire-risk assessment, maybe some planning permission depending on how far you want to develop this.’
‘I’m not sure I do. I’m not sticking around, remember?’
‘I know. I’m just brainstorming ideas that will keep the place afloat so you don’t have to come back.’
‘Of course.’ Violet took a direct hit in the feels. This wasn’t Nate trying to ease her burden. He just didn’t want her hanging around.
‘You don’t have to jump right in at the deep end. There’s no reason why you couldn’t test those waters first by opening the place up to the public. You could run tours of the house or hire out the gardens for photographic shoots. There’s endless possibilities.’
And an infinite number of new headaches to deal with.
‘I suppose it’s worth looking into.’ Especially if it meant she could absolve herself of further responsibilities or reasons to return. Coming back had only managed to upset the new life she’d created for herself and Nate had made it abundantly clear there was nothing left for her here. If only this weren’t such a Herculean task to take on herself it could’ve proved the answer to all of their prayers.
‘I’ve spoken to my parents and they’re on board with whatever decision you make. After all, Strachmore is their home too. There’s just one problem...’
‘Of course there is. You’re sure it’s just the one?’
‘Well, one particular obstacle which could shut the whole project down before it gets off the ground.’ The way he was fidgeting with his tie gave away his sudden nerves, which didn’t bode well for Violet. She thought he was supposed to be bringing her solutions, not more reasons to get wound up.
‘Which is?’ She sat on her hands so she didn’t give into her instinct to stick her fingers in her ears. She had to hear this if she was to find some way out of this whole mess.
‘Your father. We’ll need his say-so on everything.’ Not even Nate’s apologetic smile could salve that slap in the face.
The man who’d let the castle crumble around him was the only one who could save it. If he weren’t so completely blinkered by his self-importance there might’ve been a chance that plan might’ve actually worked.
‘That’s the end of that, then.’ Enough people had wasted their time and energy trying to wake him up to what was happening around him for Violet to know this was a lost cause.
‘I get this isn’t going to be easy but it’ll be worth it in the end. You’ll finally be able to leave Strachmore behind.’
She couldn’t fault his logic. It was the lack of emotion she was having trouble dealing with. He apparently wanted this all neatly tidied up so he could wash his hands of everything she’d brought to his door.
‘That’s what we all want, I guess.’ Unfortunately, even if she had been at her ass-kicking, emotionally detached, sleeping-at-night best, this was going to be a monumental task. If by some miracle she could engage her father in conversation long enough to convince him of the plan, the practicalities alone would cripple her.
She needed help. She needed Nate. All that was left to do was swallow her pride and admit it.
‘I know you can do this, Violet.’ He had more faith in her than she had in herself. Or perhaps it was wishful thinking on his part, pre-empting the words that were going to come out of her mouth next.
‘I don’t think I can do this on my own. Will you help me?’ She almost choked on the words that went against everything she’d strived for in adulthood. This was the second time in less than twenty-four hours she’d showed him her weakness.
By asking Nate to sleep with her, now begging him to bail her out, she made her new life into a sham. She’d flown back into to
wn as a city slicker, an independent career woman who hadn’t relied on anyone to help her make it in the Big Smoke. Now she was back to being that simpering, frightened girl she’d done her best to escape.
A wave of nausea crested over her as she waited for what seemed like an eternity. He’d turned down her request last night and she wouldn’t blame him for doing the same again. He didn’t owe her anything and he certainly didn’t need this clingy, emotional side of her any more than she did. She’d simply hoped Nate would be the one person who wouldn’t hold the past against her.
‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. You’ve done so much for us already and I know you’re busy—’ She tried to back out of this with her last scrap of dignity intact.
His brow was furrowed in contemplation and she could almost see his refusal making its way from his brain to his lips. This smart idea had been right up there with asking the man she’d unceremoniously dumped years before to jump into bed with her.
She got to her feet and scouted out the nearest toilets so she could have a good blub in private. It was her own fault she didn’t have a friend in him now when she’d run out on him when he’d needed her the most.
‘Wait!’ Nate shot out a hand and grabbed her by the wrist, pressing against her bracelet and temporarily branding her skin with her seahorse charm. It was a reminder of everything she’d thrown away and apparently could never get back.
It was too late. The old Nate wouldn’t have hesitated to offer his support.
‘Don’t worry about it, Nate. I’ve dumped my problems on you once too often. I’ll put in a few phone calls myself tomorrow—the bank, Citizens Advice, the Samaritans...’ She forced a smile past the lump in her throat and her trembling bottom lip. Even though she’d been content on her own for a long time, somehow the thought of not having him by her side now made her feel more alone than ever.
CHAPTER FOUR
‘I’LL HELP. WE’LL FIGURE this out together if that’s what you want?’ Nate hadn’t known what he was going to say until the words were out of his mouth. He hadn’t known he was going to reach for her until she’d tried to walk away. Now it was too late to take any of it back. His conscience had got the better of him again when it became clear how desperate she was for him to stick around. Once upon a time he’d been in that very position, wishing she’d stay with him at any cost. Just because he’d been left in the cold it didn’t mean he should do the same to Violet. He would never intentionally hurt her when her family had done such a sterling job of that throughout her entire life.