by Lisa Swallow
She ducked her head. “Keir, I’m sorry…”
Sidestepping him, Ava rushed into her dorm room, closed and leant against the door. She held her breath and listened. He didn’t leave straight away. Sinking to the floor, Ava listened until his footsteps squeaked back down the tiled hallway. She buried her face in her knees. A sob escaped her lips, then another until she exhaled her pain, crying into the fabric of her leggings. Ava hadn’t cried, didn’t cry, but the pain of the weeks streamed down her face. She lay on the floor, curled up and wept.
Chapter 19
Ava opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, confused by how light the room was. She rolled onto her side and felt the soft sheets of her bed beneath her. Breath rushed out of her in relief - not the dark square of a cell Darius had kept her in. The clock on the desk illuminated 08:32.
In the bathroom, the girl in the mirror wore no make-up and her hair stuck up wildly. Ava barely recognized herself, but she didn’t know who Ava was anymore. The decision had been made and there was no going back. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see the treachery inside them. An image of Keir’s face flashed across her mind, his earnest look and concerned eyes. She slammed her fist into the porcelain sink, she deserved the pain and tears.
Time alone in the dark claustrophobia of her cell taught her the freedom she’d felt in those few weeks with Keir was an illusion. Even when she thought Darius had let her go, he had still been using her; leaving her in this world to find Keir’s secrets. Her fate never left the hands of Darius and the Caelestia. It never would.
She needed those secrets. They were here bargaining tool, for when she took his soul back to Darius. Something, which could keep her alive, prove her worth. At least for a short time. The future she didn’t want to face was chasing her down - they said she had two weeks. One week had passed.
*
Ava pretended exam timetables caught her interest, as she paused outside the half empty seminar room staring at them - human Ava would sit exams, start a life, so she had to play the part. She waited until the class was about to start before going inside, avoiding the awkwardness of a conversation with Keir.
The seminar took place around her but she didn’t engage. Ava scrawled patterns on her notepad, the concentric circles she drew on her page getting darker as she tried to avoid Keir’s gaze. When she did look at him, his bright blue eyes held the concern for her she fought to avoid. Ava closed hers, shutting him out.
But avoiding him added extra delay and she didn’t have time. There was no choice, she had to suck it up and do her job. She’d cried out her pain, rebuilt her walls. She was a soul-hunter, he was Nephilim. Keir’s soul once meant her freedom. Now his soul meant her life.
Ava waited outside the room for Keir, who approached her hesitantly.
“You okay?” he asked, slipping books into his bags. “You still look really pale.”
He reached out a hand and tucked her hair behind her ears, she shivered as his fingers brushed her face.
She forced a smiled at him. “Getting there.”
The noise of people passing around filled the silence between them.
“Do you want to grab a coffee?” asked Keir, fiddling with the zip on his bag.
“Sure.”
They walked to the cafeteria, Ava praying to herself he wouldn’t cross the distance she’d put between them and touch her. Inside the cafeteria, students jostled in the queues, wanting to grab lunch and get going. Ava sat at a recently wiped Formica table, tracing her fingers in the dampness. Keir returned to the table with two large cups of coffee.
“I missed you,” he said, shifting his chair closer to her.
She was sick of hearing him say those words, couldn’t stand looking into his trusting blue eyes.
Some of what she had to say wasn’t lies. “I missed you too. Thinking about you kept me going.”
He turned her hand over and traced his fingers along the palm, sending butterflies through her stomach. Ava fought with herself not to pull away.
“I’m sort of glad they banished you.” Keir’s smile seemed awkward. “That you have to stay now.”
“And age. And be human forever,” she mumbled.
“I don’t care.”
Ava couldn’t deal with this, listen to the thick emotion in his voice.
She withdrew her hand carefully. “You. Do you age like humans? As a Nephilim, I mean.”
Keir sipped his coffee. “Yeah, not as quick as humans though. And not past a certain point.”
“Oh. How old are you then?”
“How old are you, Ava?” His mouth tugged up at the corners.
“Not as old as you, I’m guessing.”
“Well, no. I’m not hundreds of years old but I’ve been young for a few years longer than a human would. Which isn’t so bad. It’s been fun.” He raised an eyebrow and Ava looked away, an uncomfortable jealous heat in the pit of her stomach she didn’t have any right to feel.
Keir’s playful smile vanished and he pushed a curl from his face. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound…I’d give back ten of those years for ten more with you. And now I have so many more.”
Shit. Each time she’d tried to direct him away from talk of them, the conversation swung back round again. Her job had to be completed quickly. Before the force between them dragged her back into his world.
“At least I can still help. I can’t fight them with you, but I can help Dahlia track them or however you do it.”
Keir leaned back in his chair. “Dahlia doesn’t trust you.”
“No change there then.” She paused. “Do you trust me?”
Keir stretched his hand out and covered hers. “I think I’d know if you were lying to me. I don’t think you would.”
Weak. Weak. Weak. Her body broke into a sweat but her mind focused. “Good.”
Ava gulped her coffee. The noise of clattering trays and voices around her invaded her head, confused her already muddled thoughts. A blonde-haired girl at the next table looked keenly at Keir. Ava narrowed her eyes at the girl, and the girl’s focus turned to her sandwich and her friends. That’s right, I’m back. Ava’s stomach turned. And he’ll be gone soon.
“So you’re happy to let me help? Keep me in the loop?” Ava placed her other betraying hand over his.
“Yeah, we’re meeting at the bar around seven this evening.”
Ava grinned through her treachery. “Thank you, Keir. For still trusting me. It means a lot.”
Keir leaned across the table. “You mean a lot, I’m glad you’re safe now.” He put his mouth gently on hers, sending unwanted shocks across her lips.
Ava held her breath, not wanting to be drawn to the memories of their past by the softness of his mouth or his seductive scent. Too late. The kiss had delved straight into her heart.
“I have to go,” she mumbled, standing up and almost knocking her chair over.
As she left the cafeteria, she knew he was watching her go and her chest tightened, breath crushed out of her. He wasn’t the only weak one.
*
Music blared through the student union bar, drowning out the noise from the early drinkers. In a darkened corner of the room, away from the throng of people, Keir, Dahlia and Jack waited in a booth. Jack had tucked himself in the corner bench seat, as far way from passing students as possible. Half-drunk glasses of soda rested on the sticky table, music blaring from LCD screens broadcasting video clips. Each time a perfumed group of girls pushed by, Jack shifted uncomfortably. Dahlia placed a hand on his leg and squeezed.
Keir’s eyes shone as Ava approached through the smoky haze. Ava swallowed hard, shifting her gaze to Dahlia whose downturned mouth and hard eyes betrayed how she felt.
“Hey.” Ava grinned at the group.
Only Keir responded, shifting across in the booth seat to give her room to sit. Placing his hand on hers, he moved to kiss her. Ava turned her face and he kissed her cheek. Dahlia’s eyes narrowed and she flipped the lid open on her laptop.
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“I’ve found some in the Eastern suburbs,” Dahlia said, addressing Keir, “not particularly dangerous ones.”
“Is there any reason there’s so many round here?” asked Ava, “It seems as soon as you kill one demon, another appears.”
“They’re increasing in number everywhere,” said Keir.
“Why?” asked Ava.
“No idea,” said Dahlia, “Someone is getting better at collecting souls from humans and creating more.”
“Nephilim?” asked Ava.
Dahlia didn’t look up. “Probably. Zach’s been skulking about again.”
“And whoever he has helping him. He can’t be killing alone,” said Keir.
At the sound of Zach’s name, Ava’s pulse rate jumped.
“I think he’s doing all this to pull you in, Keir. Waiting for you to slip up and he’ll be there to exploit the weakness,” said Dahlia.
“Not going to happen,” he replied. “Any communication from the others this week?”
Dahlia’s eyes opened wide and she flicked a look at Ava. “Do you want to talk about this now?”
“Yes,” said Keir, “It’s up to me, isn’t it?”
Dahlia shut the laptop lid. “You’re making a mistake, Keir”
“She went through a lot as a result of helping us.”
“She came here to kill you,” retorted Dahlia.
“Excuse me?” blurted Ava.
Dahlia turned to her, eyes fierce. “Why did they banish you? Why didn’t they just kill you? After what you did.”
Ava had prepared her answer to this. “They want me to get Zach instead.”
“Ava,” gasped Keir, “I told you, you can’t kill him!”
“I have no choice. It was that or the lowest Hell realm.”
Dahlia’s eyes widened. “They must be really pissed off with you.”
“Yeah.”
Keir’s grip on her hand tightened and Ava winced. “I can’t believe they threatened you with that.”
“I can’t believe they didn’t throw you straight down there,” said Dahlia, “They must really want you to do what they’ve asked.”
Ava hardened her expression and turned the look to Dahlia. The edge to Dahlia’s voice hinted at Ava’s true mission. Dahlia would never believe her. “How’s your demonic boyfriend, Dahlia?”
Jack shifted his half-dead eyes from the space he stared into, fidgeting in his seat. The pain Ava saw in his face each time they met disturbed her, especially when he watched students around them with trembling hands.
“Is he just the strong silent type or what?” asked Ava.
“He’s not acclimatized yet,” snapped Dahlia.
Dahlia looked at her hands and Ava became aware the couple were sat far apart. “Does he want to feed off you too? That’s gross…” She pulled an exaggerated face of disgust, enjoying Dahlia’s open-mouthed response.
Jack’s eyes flashed. “No. I don’t.”
“Still, must be annoying being Dahlia’s pet.”
“Shut the fuck up, Ava,” growled Dahlia, “Jack has nothing to do with you.”
“‘Thank you for saving my boyfriend, Ava.’ ‘Oh that’s okay Dahlia, anytime’.”
“Thank you,” spat Dahlia.
“I’m not thanking you,” said Jack.
“And I think you’re trying to change the subject,” said Dahlia.
Keir sat quietly through their exchanges and Ava shifted toward him. She snuggled into him hoping to rile Dahlia. Keir kissed the top of her head.
“So, the others?” Ava asked him.
Keir stroked Ava’s hair. “It’s who I work with. A group of us, freeing souls.”
Dahlia huffed. “You’re making a big mistake, Keir.”
“Who are they?” pressed Ava.
Keir paused, Dahlia’s look of horror distracting him. “Keir… Please. Listen.”
Keir silently picked at the beer mats on the table.
“She’s probably right,” said Jack.
“What’s this got to do with you?” snapped Ava and glared at him. Darius had been right - Dahlia was her biggest problem. And now she had Jack as back up.
“I’ll explain another time,” said Keir.
“Fine,” muttered Ava.
Keir leaned in to her ear. “I will tell you, but not now.” His breath tickled her ear and she shivered.
Dahlia’s jaw set hard as she looked at them. Then she gently shook her head, turning back to the laptop. “So, are we going to talk about the demons then?”
Chapter 20
Ava helped Dahlia track demons, and the situation frustrated the crap out of her. She spent hours pretending to be too weak to help Keir, sitting with a taciturn Dahlia who did everything in her power not to involve Ava in their missions.
Dahlia glued herself to Keir again. Jack hung on too and continued to act as if his world had ended. This irritated Ava. He should be happy he wasn’t dead and was back with the girl who’d given up so much for him. Ava concluded being soul-tied to Dahlia’s sour face would be painful. Or maybe Dahlia’s devotion to Keir annoyed Jack as much as it annoyed Ava.
She’d wondered about Dahlia’s and Jack’s relationship, before Jack disappeared. She didn’t recognize either of them as the happy couple in the photo she’d seen. Jack drifted around the edge of Dahlia, as he did the rest of the world. Ava never saw them touch, let alone hug or kiss. Sometimes Ava forgot Jack existed, his presence fading him into the background. Jack’s and Dahlia’s relationship was ghost-like, something that didn’t know it had died and needed to let go. Ava concluded she’d been wrong, worlds shouldn’t mix - angels, demons, people, Nephilim. The corruption damaged them all.
Time pulled her closer to Keir, despite Dahlia’s best efforts. Some days the stress became so bad she was physically sick. Especially following evenings spent alone with Keir, trying to hold him at arms length physically and close herself down emotionally. There was no other way to cope. But she needed the rest of his secrets, so keeping her distance wasn’t an option.
Ava had agreed to meet Keir and couldn’t face another evening caught in his gravitational pull, so she’d snuck to the bar and hidden herself in a corner. Her resolve wavered every time he touched her. He didn’t even need to touch her; a look or a smile, with his desire barely hidden behind, ignited everything she’d dampened down.
She gulped back the strong liquid from her glass and crunched on an ice cube as she watched those around her, amused by their antics. Like sitting in a zoo. Or watching TV - little soap operas played out around her. She’d been frequenting the place more in her attempts to keep away from the others, and watched the other students lives with disinterested curiosity, as she drank at her table each night. Nobody approached her. That’s how she wanted life.
Tonight’s entertainment included a big show down between a group of girls and Ava gleefully watched. This had led to extra drinks she didn’t need in her system. Ava checked her phone, rubbing the blurring glass. The blurring didn’t go and it was late. Shit. Now Keir would see her like this, she didn’t have time to get back to her room before he knocked. Usually he got ‘thanks but no thanks I’m too tired’ as she went to bed, avoiding the possibility he might want to come with her. The story of the trauma of her captivity, as the cause of her physical distance, wasn’t going to cut it much longer. And now she was awake and available.
The winter air hit Ava’s heated cheeks and slapped some extra sobriety into her. She swore with each footstep back to her dorm. She was right. Too much to drink. Getting drunk. Bad. Vulnerable. She giggled and slapped her hand over her mouth. Worse.
She tripped up the stairs into her dorm block and squinted in the brightness. The hallway empty, Ava weaved along, running her fingers down the walls and digging her nails into the paint. She fucking hated this place.
The door was ajar, light on. Adrenaline shot into her inebriated limbs. No. They said she had two weeks. She still had a few days. Why had they come for her already? Ava backed
to the opposite wall and slumped her shoulders. That cell. Hell. She wasn’t going back yet. She had time. They couldn’t do this. Shit. She wanted to listen but her heart deafened her.
Keir. She could go to Keir.
She peeled herself from the wall and concentrated on moving her jelly legs.
“Ava!”
Keir stood in the doorway, light illuminating his face. A curl fell across his dipped brow and she stared at his bottom lip. She wanted to pull it into her mouth and bite. Why did he have to be so goddamn sexy?
“Why are you in my room?” she demanded.
“Waiting for you. Although it looks like I should’ve come to find you.” Keir regarded her with a mixture of amusement and disdain.
“I have to go to bed,” she muttered. Then looked into his blue eyes. Sapphire blue. Bright blue. So fucking blue… Ava’s mouth parted slightly as her attempt not to be distracted by him slipped away.
“Okay.” Keir stepped to one side to allow her past.
Ava slid through the door, through the charged space between them.
Keir remained in the doorway. “I came to see you.”
He leaned in to kiss her, a slow, gentle kiss barely touching her lips. She was gone. Ava lifted her head to return his kiss, her mouth eager as she wound her hands through Keir’s hair, tugging the regrowing curls. Her other hand slid up his arm, across his hard biceps to his shoulders.
Ava wrenched him by the coat into her room, the slow kisses giving way to frantic, heated lips as she kicked the door shut behind. She pushed him against the door and pulled her head away, trailing fingers down his rough cheek as she met his surprised expression. Her primal desire reflected in his darkened eyes.
“Ava.” Keir’s husky voice betrayed the restraint she didn’t want him to keep.
“I’m sorry for shutting you out,” she whispered and connected her mouth with his again, flicking her tongue along his lips and into his mouth. Keir groaned and slid his hands under her top, cool hands moving against her searing skin. His palm skimmed the lace of her bra and she arched herself toward him, heat pooling between her legs.
“Keir.” The headiness from the alcohol and her arousal lifted her away from the world, into the safety of Keir’s powerful hold. Not the strong hands exploring her body and firing the slow heat inside her, but the power of Keir which removed them both from the reality of their world.