Small Blue Thing

by S. C. Ransom

  “So why is it a problem that I can see this now? Why are you so worried?”

  “I think your amulet must be changing, and I don’t like that. Amulets aren’t exactly … benevolent things. I can’t imagine that yours is changing in any way that’s good.”

  “OK, so what do we do? I’m not going to take it off again when we are not sure. And I can’t bear to be without you.” I could feel his touch as his arms went around me and he rested his head against mine.

  “I couldn’t bear that either,” he said softly, tightening his grip on me in the mirror.

  “So what other options do we have?” I persisted.

  Callum looked thoughtful for a moment. “Perhaps I could ask Matthew,” he said slowly. “He may have heard of something, have some idea…”

  “Excellent plan,” I agreed.

  I saw Callum steal a glance at my watch. “If I want to get him in a good mood I had better get going.” He hesitated for a second. “I might not make it back again before my curfew. I’m sorry.”

  I pouted at him but then smiled. “Don’t worry. This is important. You need to find out what you can. Go and find Matthew and come back to me as soon as you can in the morning. I don’t believe I have any plans to be in school.”

  He gathered me more tightly and kissed the top of my head. “I love you. Wish me luck!” For a second one of his dazzling smiles banished the worry from his face, and then he was gone.

  I remembered what I’d said to Mum and Dad, and I picked up the phone to call Grace. However glorious it was to spend time with Callum, I missed her.

  Grace was at my house in minutes, obviously having had no problem persuading her dad to give her a lift. After a quick hello to my parents, we retired back up to my room. We had had a few conversations when I was in the hospital, but we’d never been alone, and I could tell she was dying to know all about the package and what I knew. I was still unsure of what I should tell her. She settled herself down on her usual spot on my futon chair, mug of coffee in her hands. “Well, what was all that about then? You must have a theory.”

  I hesitated for just a second. Could I tell her, or would she just think I was mad? For a second I had a picture of her knowing everything: I’d introduce her to Callum and things could almost be normal. I hated keeping things from her: she knew every single other detail of my life. And of all the people I could tell, she would be the most accepting, I was sure. But then my courage deserted me. It was all too strange, and I couldn’t begin to find the right words. “You know, I was going to ask you the same thing. My memory of that morning is a bit patchy.”

  “It’s frustrating, isn’t it?” she agreed. “I have a very clear memory of being there, but then it goes a bit fuzzy and I can’t sort of pull out any details.”

  I nodded furiously, hoping that I might get away with it.

  “But the really peculiar thing,” she continued, “is the bracelet. How did I end up wearing that? It’s barely been off your wrist since you found it.”

  “I’ve been wondering about that too. It does seem really odd.”

  “And then when I put it back on your wrist, you came back from the dead!”

  I was in trouble: she had made that connection. “But that’s just ridiculous. Bracelets can’t do that.”

  “No, but there is something truly odd about that one.” Her voice was almost fearful and I saw her steal a glance at it and shudder, then look away.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well – don’t laugh when I tell you this – but I did wonder whether it was a bit … possessed.”

  “Possessed? What, by a ghost, or something?” I tried to look as if I was finding this amusing.

  “Not exactly, more of a presence. I know it’s silly, but when I was wearing it I had the strangest thoughts – almost as if someone else was speaking in my head.” She sighed, then muttered to herself, “I should never have started this,” before taking a deep breath. “It was a man’s voice,” she said reluctantly.

  “How exciting! It hasn’t had any effect on me; I just love the look of it.” I paused, but was unable to resist. “So, what did the voice say that made you want to give the bracelet back?” I asked as nonchalantly as I could manage.

  “It was very odd. It just kept saying that the bracelet wasn’t mine and that I had to get it back to you. It was never exactly threatening; I just knew that I had to do it.”

  “Well, I’m sure it had nothing to do with my recovery, but thank you for looking after it and for giving it back to me anyway.”

  “But why did I have it in the first place? And I have a vague memory of an envelope from you. Was it in that?”

  I thought quickly – I had sent her a text about the envelope, and left a voicemail, so I couldn’t deny its existence “Yes. I wanted you to look after it for a bit, but I can’t remember why now.”

  “As long as that was all that was in there, because the envelope’s gone. There was no sign of it in my bag when I came around.”

  “Oh well, it doesn’t really matter now.” I tried to sound offhand about the whole subject while hoping that no one would ever find that memory card.

  She shook her head and sighed again. “I guess not.” As I looked at her a small yellow light popped on over her head. “Hey, did I tell you that Jack came to visit me in the hospital?”

  “No, you didn’t! Come on, tell me everything: did seeing you vulnerable and helpless propel him into super-boyfriend mode?”

  She blushed scarlet, and nodded mutely, the yellow light growing stronger and stronger. “And…?” I prompted, keen to hear about her news but also keen to observe some good memories in progress.

  “He told me he loved me.” It came out in a slightly embarrassed squeak and she hid for a moment behind her curtain of long dark hair. I had to smile.

  Grace giggled her way through the details of her conversations with Jack. I wouldn’t have thought that he had that much romance in him, but from what Grace was saying he seemed completely smitten.

  Throughout, the yellow light danced over her head, sometimes flicking briefly on and off as she moved on to a new story. Finally though, the yellow light snapped out. I couldn’t help but look at her with a question on my face before she even had a chance to speak.

  “Did I tell you I had a visit from Rob as well?” she asked.

  “No, I don’t think you mentioned it,” I replied hesitantly. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what he had been after.

  “He said he noticed that you had tried to call him but it looked like the phone had cut out. He said there was a desperate-sounding message from you which he picked up later.”

  “Huh! He cut me off! He saw who was calling and cut me off. I was furious.”

  “I’m afraid that’s not all. He’s convinced that it was some sort of suicide attempt because he finished with you. Sorry,” she added meekly, looking at the rage on my face.

  “The little…! I … I … words fail me! I wish he was here so I could smack him in the mouth.”

  “I think both Jack and Josh are planning to get there before you.”

  “No one believes him, surely?”

  She looked quickly at the floor, and started picking imaginary fluff off the cover of the futon. “No one knows what to believe, Alex. You’d been acting pretty strangely, and hadn’t told anyone – not even me – what was going on.”

  She looked directly at me. “What is it, Alex? Why all the strange messages, the peculiar mood swings, the sudden loss of interest in Rob? What’s the story?”

  I didn’t know what to say. I hated deceiving my best friend, but how could I start to tell her the truth? I had to tell her something, though. It wasn’t right to carry on deceiving her. As I searched for something – anything – to tell her which wouldn’t raise more questions than it answered, I realised I could expand on what I had told Mum.

  “Do you promise not to tell anyone, not even Jack, if I tell you?”

  Grace looked nervous but nodded anyway.
“Of course, you know I always keep your secrets.”

  “The thing is, it’s a bit embarrassing really.”

  “Go on,” she urged, leaning closer.

  “Well, I met someone, someone special.”

  “Really? When?”

  “About the same time that Rob asked me out. The trouble is….” I paused, trying to appear as reluctant as possible, “I met him on the Internet.”

  Grace’s hand flew to her mouth in horror. We had all been really well drilled in the potential dangers of dating over the Web.

  “I know,” I filled in as she floundered, “dumb, huh?”

  “Have you met him?” she managed eventually.

  “Not in the flesh, but we talk all the time on the webcam.” It was close enough to the truth.

  “So where does he live? How did you meet? What are your plans?”

  I laughed. “I can only answer one question at a time, you know.”

  She looked a bit sheepish. “Sorry, I’m just rather surprised.”

  “I know, and I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I didn’t want to have to say anything until I knew it was serious.”

  “So is it, then? Serious, I mean.”

  It was my turn to look away. “Absolutely. He’s the one for me.”

  “Wow. I mean, WOW! How did that happen?”

  “It just crept up on me really. Suddenly I realised that I didn’t care about Rob because I had fallen for someone else.” Even though I was talking to my best friend, I could feel myself redden. I was really glad that Callum wasn’t around to eavesdrop on this conversation.

  “So come on: name, details, dirt – all that sort of stuff!”

  “There is no dirt. He lives abroad so there’s no chance of a quick meeting. But his name is Callum and he’s nineteen.” It felt great to finally say his name out loud to someone. I liked the way it sounded.

  “And what does he look like? Tall, dark and handsome, I hope,” she teased.

  “Close: tall, dark blond and exceedingly handsome.”

  Grace made a move towards my laptop. “Come on then, let’s see the photos.”

  “Ah, sorry. I don’t have any at the moment.”

  She looked at me suspiciously. “No photos?”

  “Um, no. He’s not keen on photos. He’s very … shy, really.” That sounded lame even to me. She was never going to buy it.

  “Unusual, especially when Internet dating, wouldn’t you say?” Her perfect eyebrow was raised in a question.

  “Well, you wanted to know. You don’t have to believe me.” My voice was a bit sharper than I had intended.

  “OK, OK! Sorry. I’m just disappointed that I don’t get to see the guy who finally stole your heart,” she said soothingly. “So are you absolutely sure that this Callum is on the level, not some sort of crazy old bloke axe-murderer?”

  “Look, I’m seventeen. I’m not going to fall for that kind of thing.”

  “So are you going to introduce us? You could get him up on the webcam and show him to me that way.”

  “Ah, he’s … um, he’s out right now, working. He’s got a meeting with his boss.”

  Grace sighed. “I see. Never mind. Some other time, when things are easier.” She reached out and grabbed both my hands. “You’ll be really careful now though, won’t you? I’ve already said goodbye to you once in hospital and I really don’t want to do it ever again.”

  “I promise, Grace. Really, he’s not like that, it’s quite safe.” Well, it was now we had got rid of Catherine, so I wasn’t really lying.

  “I’m so glad you have found someone. I promise you I’ll squeeze the details out of you sometime soon, but I’ll let you off tonight: I’m in too good a mood.” The light was buzzing around her head again.

  “Thinking of Jack, are you?” I hazarded. She laughed.

  “Of course. He is the most gorgeous guy in the school, no question. Hey,” she looked around in a conspiratorial manner, but my old soft toys didn’t seem to be listening. “I’m giving serious thought to breaking the pact…”

  It was my turn to squeak. “Ooh! What have you got planned?”

  Soon we were deep in complicated plans to launch on the unsuspecting, but probably very willing, Jack, and I managed to keep the conversation on safe topics until Grace’s dad appeared to collect her.

  I hadn’t realised how tired I was, and I was pleased to be climbing back into my own bed where I wasn’t going to be disturbed by nurses and drug rounds. For the first time in ages I was able to drop into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

  When I woke the next morning I stretched luxuriously, knowing I had had a very good night’s sleep. The curtains fluttered at the window and through the gaps I could see the sun beating down on the trees outside. I had been woken by the smell of coffee – a large mug was resting on my desk – and by the smell of freshly baked bread that was wafting up from the kitchen.

  I turned over and felt a long stroke down my arm.

  “Good morning, gorgeous, are you awake now?”

  “Callum! How long have you been here?” I rummaged quickly for the mirror I kept stashed nearby at all times now, trying not to notice how awful I looked when still half asleep.

  “Oh, hours,” he answered mischievously.

  He looked surprisingly at home on my tatty old duvet. I finally managed to drag my imagination away from the thought of him actually being in – or at least on – my bed, and remembered to speak. “Well, while you are here you might as well tell me about last night. How did it go?”

  I felt him settle down on the bed behind me, and I could watch his face as he stroked down my arm to my hip. He had a look of slightly bemused wonder which pretty much matched my own expression. I pulled his mind back to the important question.

  “Come on now, concentrate! How was it? What did Matthew say?”

  “Now that conversation was interesting,” he mused as he continued the exploration of my back. It was becoming increasingly difficult to concentrate.

  “What? Come on!”

  He stopped stroking and looked me in the eyes, and I could see the excitement on his face.

  “Matthew thought it was very curious. We spent quite a long time discussing the implications. His view,” he paused as he made another sweeping movement down my side, “was that you are probably not in any danger. He can’t see how the amulet could compel you when you have the ability to take it off at any time.”

  “Well, that’s a relief. Of course, you’re a pretty good incentive to keep it on…”

  “Then I guess it depends on whether you think I’m dangerous.” He gave a mock snarl and pretended to gnaw at my neck. Nice as it was I had to stop him: we had things to discuss. “Oh, I must tell you! I mentioned you to Grace last night.”

  He was instantly wary. “Really? How did that go then? Are we expecting the men in the white coats to come any minute?”

  “I didn’t tell her the truth! I told her I had met someone fabulous called Callum who I loved.”

  He beamed at me. “I like the sound of that. But didn’t it raise other questions?”

  “No, I told her that I met you on the Internet.”

  “Hmm, you’ll have to explain that to me. I’ve heard about the Internet at the cinema but I’ve never seen it.”

  “What! You’ve never seen the Web?” I couldn’t believe it.

  “How would I have?” he countered defensively. “I know the general concept from what I hear, but I don’t know if I ever used it before I came here. It’s a place where you can ask questions, right?”

  I was stunned. How could I possibly start explaining the Web?

  “Where do I start? You really don’t want a lecture on it now, do you? Don’t we have more interesting things to discuss?”

  “I suppose. I’d just quite like to ask it some questions.” He sounded disappointed.

  “I’ve already asked it about you.”

  “Excellent!” This clearly pleased him. “Did you find anything i
nteresting?”

  “Well, no. I looked up drownings and Blackfriars Bridge to see if I could get a clue to your identity. I thought that as there were two of you involved it might have made the papers.”

  “Oh. Was there nothing there?”

  “Lots about drownings in the Thames, but nothing that seemed to relate to you. I was thinking about it later, when I was in hospital, and I wondered if maybe they didn’t find your bodies. What if they can’t find your bodies because you take them with you?”

  “I suppose it’s possible,” he agreed dubiously. “Shame though, I thought I might be able to find out something.”

  “We could try a search of missing people, there must be sites for that. If they didn’t find the bodies you ought to be listed as missing.”

  “Interesting thought. We should try that later. Right now though I need to tell you the rest of Matthew’s theory.”

  I was suddenly nervous: what if Matthew thought all this was a bad idea? I wasn’t sure if Callum would be able to disobey him and his rules.

  “OK. What’s the deal?”

  “He thinks you should come to St Paul’s. If the amulet is making you more like us, then the effects ought to be stronger there. He thinks that there’s a chance we might be able to communicate more easily inside the cathedral walls.”

  Meeting Matthew. The whole idea made me really twitchy. It was a bit like having to meet the parents. I swallowed hard and smiled. “That would be great. When could we do it?”

  He seemed tremendously excited – almost bouncing in his enthusiasm. “I think we should see him straight away. What do you have planned today?”

  “Callum, be sensible! I was only discharged from hospital yesterday – without a diagnosis as far as my parents are concerned. They won’t let me go into London unsupervised for weeks.”

  He looked crestfallen. “Oh, I see. Is there any way round that?”

  “I guess I could sneak out, but it depends on what my parents are doing. If one or other of them is working at home I’ve got no chance, but if they have meetings I could maybe get away for a while.”

  “Do you have any idea of their plans for today?”

  “I haven’t got a clue. I’ll have to go downstairs and find out. Do we have to go today? It’s already halfway through the morning.”