My Life: An Ex-Quarterback's Adventures in the Galactic Empire

by Colin Alexander

  “I’m offering.”

  Some people prepare in endless detail, but when it comes time to execute, they can’t move worth a damn. Not me. I’m more the Napoleonic style, engage first and then scramble around after opportunities as they develop. It’s how I played football for years. Now, I was playing that way again, only this time my neck was on the line. Ruoni took a while to answer, though.

  Finally he said, “I will accept, if you will tell me how it’s to be done. I don’t believe you can afford to buy her.”

  In fact, I could not. However, first things first. “Could you raise a crew to fly her by this time, day after tomorrow?” I asked. That would be my next liberty day.

  Ruoni frowned. “If you mean to fly her and not much else, the answer is yes. To raise anything close to a full crew would cause talk.”

  “That’s enough. We can fill the roster later.”

  Ruoni nodded. “Correct. However, it’s useless to plan for a crew without a ship and you have not told me how you are going to get one.”

  “All right, I’ll give you the outline. There’s no need to go into details.” I had no choice. I hadn’t thought about the details. I barely had the outline.

  “I can pay the docking fee and have the station unseal the port. While I’m doing that, I need you to create a good diversion, preferably a full-scale riot, that will pull both the station guards, and Carvalho’s, away from the port. With all the kvenningari and freebooters around I guess that should be achievable.”

  He nodded again, this time with a faint smile. “Some money will help light the fire.”

  “Of course.” What was I agreeing to? I went on anyway. “That will give you a chance to get the crew on board Flower. It will also give me an opportunity to bring some cargo from Carvalho’s ship. Once I get to the bridge, I’ll have the station release the ship.” I figured the last was my insurance policy.

  “How do you propose to pay your crew, both the ones I recruit and the ones we’ll need later?”

  I had to laugh then. “I’ll do what I do best,” I said. “Be a freebooter.”

  For the first time ever, I saw a full smile on Ruoni’s face. “I like it,” he said. “If nothing else, we will die quickly instead of slowly.”

  I wished that Ruoni hadn’t brought that up. Dying was all too likely, and the biggest risk was going to be mine. True, Ruoni would have to put together a skeleton crew without alerting anyone to the nature of the enterprise. However, I saw no reason to doubt his statement that it could be done. The station was a beehive of activity and, given Ruoni’s position, raising a crew would look realistic. In contrast, I was going to have to spring Jaenna from the Flying Whore and bring her safely to the Flower. The moment I left Ruoni I began to wonder if hadn’t bitten off more than I could chew.

  The best cure for jitters is action, so I set off to work out how to make good my boast. The Tetragrammaton authorities maintained many small offices throughout the station, any of which could be used to transact routine business. The official in the first one I entered looked so bored I wasn’t sure he was awake.

  “Carvalho’s ship?” he asked finally after I had asked him three times about how to make payments.

  “Yes.”

  “You don’t need any wafers. You have station credit from the cargo and the ship you brought in. I’ll show you how to use the interface.”

  I think he did it so I wouldn’t ask him more questions. The computer was easy to use and quickly showed me the mechanics of dealing in starships. The station’s primary concern was the docking fee. At a busy trading station, docking fees were as routine a business as existed. It was simple to find what the charges were, how to transfer funds to pay them and how to obtain the station release certifying that payment had been made. Until then, no one was allowed on a prize ship. Station surveillance prevented unauthorized entry from space, while the sealed port and guard detachments prevented entry from the station. I began to think that my spur-of-the-moment idea could work.

  Now it was time to think about Jaenna. Getting her off Carvalho’s ship without violence was unlikely, so some preparation was in order. There seemed to be an arms dealer at every corner in the station. I checked out several and emerged with a device that fastened to the forearm and shot a five-inch blade out into the palm of my hand, ready for use, when I moved my arm just so. It was a customized device. The dealer spent about fifteen minutes having me execute stabbing motions in front of the watchful eye of his computer. When he was satisfied, he connected the armband to the computer briefly, then had me try it on. All I had to do was start to thrust and—wham—the blade was in my hand. Other movements, like a handshake, did nothing. I also bought a miniature blaster that I could smuggle to Jaenna.

  Once back at the ship, I went over every route I could think of between Jaenna’s cabin and the docking port. Then, I tried to act normal all the following day. Fortunately, the crew was too occupied with their leaves—and their hangovers—to take an interest in anything else.

  I woke early on the big day. From the moment I climbed out of my bunk, my stomach started doing the same flip-flops it used to do on the morning of a game. At the arranged time, I hustled to my meeting place with Ruoni. He was there, to my relief, looking as though he had never left.

  “Is it set?” I asked. I hoped that my nervousness didn’t show. It was too early in the morning for me to have my game face on.

  If Ruoni saw through me, he gave no sign. “I am ready,” he said. “I have enough Srihani to cover the essential positions, although we will have very long watches and will be unable to sustain it for very long. The Flower is too damaged to rely much on the automatics. I didn’t give those systems priority when we made the repairs.”

  I can take a hint. “I understand that,” I said, “but can we make a transit?”

  “One, yes. Maybe two. It all depends on what fails first.”

  “Fine. Will we have the diversion we need?”

  He nodded. “It’s very tense on Tetragrammaton now. Too many recent incidents. Right now, something that would ordinarily be easily contained will spread like fire in a pure oxy atmosphere. I have arranged for one of Carvalho’s crew to be shot in a public place and a witness to blame Komorralani. Then there will be a second shot at a Komorralani. They are a relatively small kvenningar, but they have reputation for being pugnacious and they have a large contingent on station now. On a station this tense, once there’s a shooting and a fight starts, it will rapidly run out of control.”

  That was what I was counting on, although I’ll admit to being queasy when the money changed hands. I guess I half expected the constabulary to step out and arrest me. In the midst of mentally congratulating myself on the arrangements, though, it occurred to me to wonder if I was going to be Ruoni’s victim. He had told me it would be a member of Carvalho’s crew. Was this something an Imperial would find funny? Maybe he had decided to try breaking the Flower away on his own once he had his crew on board. His bronze face was unreadable and there was no way to ask him. The shiver that gripped my scapulae and spine could only be partially suppressed. I left him there, swirling his drink, just as he had two days before.

  What had promised to be a tense trip to the station office became nerve-wracking as I tried to check over my shoulder for hidden assassins. Nor were maybe-imaginary shadows my only worry. At the office, it seemed too easy. I accessed the computer and had it talk me through making the transfer from my account. After a short wait, the computer told me the transaction was accepted and that the port was unsealed. Then I broke out in a cold sweat again. The computer hadn’t told me how closely a ship monitored the transactions of its crew, or if it did at all. I’d asked no one on the ship for fear of raising suspicions. The payment would wipe out the credits in my account from the sale of the Flower’s merchandise and it would put a big charge against my expected share of the Flower herself. The computer had shown me that the station would accept that, but if Carvalho noticed, he might want to kn
ow what cost so much.

  I decided that it didn’t matter. I couldn’t turn back. The Flower was now Ruoni’s problem. I had to assume that the riot he was starting would pull the guards from a port they didn’t realize (I hoped) had been unsealed. I also had to assume that my fears of betrayal were groundless. Despite that, I spent most of my walk back fixated on assassins. I was sorely tempted to walk blaster in hand, but to put hand to weapon in corridors full of heavily armed individuals would have started a war then and there. When I reached the Flying Whore’s portal unscathed, I breathed a sigh of relief, as though my problems were over instead of beginning.

  I had no time to waste. Ruoni’s hit would be happening about then. Even assuming the riot followed as planned, I had no way of knowing how long it would last. I had to get Jaenna out immediately.

  The guard outside Jaenna’s cabin came alert when I entered the passage. It was not mealtime and I was supposed to be on the station.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked. His hand wavered near his blaster, but he did not draw.

  It was time to tell a fast and tall story.

  “Carvalho’s not going to wait until Brgunne. He has found a buyer on the station. I thought you and I might have a little fun for all the time we wasted. This buyer won’t mind slightly used goods.”

  The guard dithered. If I’d kept talking, he probably would have taken the offer over Carvalho’s discipline. It didn’t matter. He thought about it long enough for me to close the distance between us. I brought my arm forward, hand empty. Suddenly, the blade was in the hand and an instant later, it was buried under the guard’s xiphoid. Without a sound, his eyes rolled up and his body went slack. I had to manhandle the corpse to force its palm against the door plate. When the door opened, I shoved the body through ahead of me.

  “What!” I heard the shout and saw Jaenna jump off the bed.

  “It’s all right,” I shouted. I pulled the blade free, which sent blood flowing onto the floor. “I’m getting you off the ship. Now.”

  “You’re crazy!”

  “No argument, but do you want to go to Brgunne?” The question called for no answer. “Here. Take this and let’s go.” I tossed her the tiny blaster.

  She caught it while she was backing up against the far wall. I could see the confusion on her face. Standing there with a blaster on my hip and blood dripping off the knife, I probably looked more menacing than reassuring. But we had very little time to waste on discussion.

  “We have to hurry.” With a twist of my arm the blade slid back up my sleeve. “You have that blaster and it’s charged. Shoot me or come with me, but do it now.”

  Either my words were effective, or the feel of the blaster grip made her believe me. She let out the long breath she had been holding and stepped away from the wall. She stopped next to the body, looking down at the dead face.

  “Why not take his blaster?” she asked.

  Of course, stupid me. Beyond the potential danger to me at the start, I had overlooked the guard’s weapon in my plans. Jaenna was thinking more clearly than I was, in spite of being taken completely by surprise. The guard’s weapon would carry a standard charge and throw a more intense beam than the miniature I had brought for Jaenna. I bent over and pulled it from his belt.

  “Stash them both under your cloak. We’ll go out with you in front of me so it’ll look like I’m bringing you somewhere, just in case anybody sees us. Ready?”

  She nodded curtly, hid both weapons and pulled the hood of her cloak up over her head. Even though she said nothing, I felt a surge of admiration for the way she was acting. Most girls her age that I’d known would have gone to pieces in this kind of situation. So would most guys, for that matter. Actually, I was a little surprised that I hadn’t.

  I let the door close behind us, hiding the body. There was a smear of blood across the doorplate where I had pressed the guard’s hand. I rubbed most of it off and decided not to worry about the remnant. The absence of the guard from the corridor would trigger a look into the cabin whether the blood was seen or not.

  We marched out along one of the routes I had checked the previous day, with me two paces behind Jaenna with my blaster drawn. It was a circuitous route to the docking port, but the likelihood of encountering any of the crew was lower. If we did, well, the pose made us look like guard and prisoner. If that wasn’t enough, my blaster was already out. For most of the trip, my plan worked perfectly. Between the choice of route, and the number of crew off the ship, we saw no one until the last intersecting corridor before the port.

  I had just passed the intersection, certain that the corridor was empty like the others before, when I heard, “Whoa there, Danny-boy,” from behind.

  I spun fast, blaster ready, to find myself confronting Angel. I can’t describe the conflicting emotions I felt when I recognized his face. We had almost won free. Angel’s blaster was still holstered on his hip, but I couldn’t bring myself to fire.

  “What do you want, Angel?”

  “Was curious about what you were up to,” he answered. His hand made no move to the blaster.

  “You should be able to tell. I’m taking her off the ship.” I had invented an elaborate cover story for just this eventuality. In the surprise of seeing Angel, it deserted me.

  “Yeah, that’s about what I thought.”

  “What!” There is no sensation like being told that your secrets are known. Sort of like the emperor’s new clothes.

  “Hey, it’s cool, man.” Angel had his empty hands raised by his head. Probably the look on my face was making him wonder if I would press the firing stud. “I knew you were up to something, the way you were tracking all over the ship and acting like nobody else existed. Knowing you, I figured it was her. Then, somebody shot Gerangi on station and all hell let out for noon. So I figured you’d be here.”

  “Who else knows?” I ground out.

  “Nobody,” he answered. “I didn’t tell and Srihani don’t read us any better than we read them. I’m here to join you, not fight you.”

  Actually, I’d learned to read them pretty well, but Angel had no reason to know that. His words rang true, but I was still suspicious.

  “Why?”

  “You’ve got good karma, man. I like the smell of it.”

  I’m not too sure about that. Usually, I wash every day. Regardless, there were only two choices, take him or shoot him. We had spent too much time talking already.

  “Okay,” I said, hoping not to regret it, “you’re in. Just stay even with me and play guard. I’m hoping the guard at the port got drawn out by the fighting and we can just waltz out of here.”

  I should have realized that Carvalho’s discipline was stronger than that. He had reacted to the fighting on the station by increasing the guard from one to two, both in half armor, armed with long-barreled medium blasters as well as their handblasters. The guards had taken the added precaution of placing a chest-high barricade across the opening where the docking tube connected to the ship. The intent was to give them cover in a firefight, but it also posed a significant, if unintended, obstacle to leaving the ship.

  I was peering around the last corner between us and the port, trying to figure out what to do, when Angel tapped my shoulder.

  “You know, Danny, if it was the two of us wanting to go through there would be no problem at all. It’s just her,” he jerked his thumb at Jaenna who crouched next to us.

  “So, what’s your point?”

  “If we can keep them busy while she gets over the barricade, we’re set. No more problems.”

  I considered that. My original idea had been to walk her past the guard, if he was still there, with the same story about a buyer on the station I had used at the cabin and forgotten with Angel. From the look of the checkpoint, and with both guards armored on account of the fighting on station, the idea was a loser. From where we stood, we could have tried blasting both of them, but two dead guards at the dock would stir Carvalho a whole lot faster than a missing g
uard at Jaenna’s cabin.

  I turned to Jaenna and asked, “How fast can you get over that?”

  “Fast.”

  “All right, friend Angel, let’s try it.”

  Leaving Jaenna concealed by the turn in the corridor, Angel and I walked out to the guards, arguing loudly in English. As I recall, Angel liberally mixed in references to my mother and my ability to throw a football among the expletives. We had the guards’ attention by the time we were halfway there. When we reached them, Angel and I were shoulder to shoulder, almost nose to nose, screaming invective at each other. Naturally, they came over to intervene. As they did, we squared off and began shoving each other. Suddenly, Angel shoved me much harder than I was prepared for. I fell backwards into the arms of one of the guards. While I was tangled with him, the other one grabbed Angel from behind. Or he tried to. Angel neatly dropped and bowed and the guard flew over Angel’s head to land, partly upside down, on top of me and his companion. While the four of us were engaged, out of the corner of my eye I saw Jaenna bolt down the corridor. She didn’t break stride when she approached the barrier, but launched herself into a headlong dive over the top. I heard her hit and roll on the other side, followed by footsteps down the connecting tube. I would have been impressed to see a gymnast do it on a mat, and those decks were much harder than any mat.

  With her gone, it was time to end the act. The guard behind me had managed to keep his feet, but in the tussle he had turned around and not seen Jaenna. Unfortunately, while I was distracted, he had grabbed me in a bear hug. There was just enough play for me to twist my hips to the side and swing one arm backward. Half-armor covers the groin, so I could not grab, but it will transmit impact. The guard woofed when I made contact. Like magic, the hold was gone. I turned, ready to hit him again, but it was unnecessary. He was leaning against the wall, a bit red in the face, working hard to draw a breath. His partner was on the floor, showing pain as he experimented with the range of motion in his left arm. I guess he landed funny. Angel stood over him and glowered.