Let It Burn

by Dee Ellis

  “I know I’m insane right now,” I sighed and ran a hand over my face, “just...you don’t know what this girl does to me. I feel like she’s it. I don’t know what Pop felt when he met Mom, but I imagine it’s something like what I’m feeling now.” Finn let out a low whistle and shoved some pretzels in his mouth.

  “That’s crazy, bro. I mean...it’s different; you’re different just a few days after meeting her. I guess that’s how it goes though, right? You meet someone and it just happens.” Finn said it lightly even though something was still bothering him.

  We went quiet and waited for more calls. It was quiet at the station tonight, just a few guys on the late shift. I was on a forty-eight-hour shift, something we all had to do a couple times a month. We were basically on duty for two days, although we made time to sleep and eat and have breaks, obviously.

  Right now all I wanted to do was climb in bed and relax. Finn did me a solid though, so I sent him packing around two am.

  I wanted the time to myself to consider Charli and all that had happened today. I also needed a chance to read her note, if she in fact tucked one into that book she gave me. Digging my iPod and Beats out of my backpack from the room, where Finn was already snoring, I sank into the couch in the commons room. First I skimmed through my music to see if I had the songs Charli was playing earlier.

  One song, Bruno Mars’ ‘Gorilla’, was playing as Charli rode my cock and made me come like a fucking teenager on his parents’ couch. Finding I had it, I closed my eyes and there she was. Tits out, beautiful face flushed as she bit at her lip and cried my name out, coming loud and hard. Jesus fuck I was getting hard just thinking about it again.

  I was so close to slipping inside her tonight. So close. I loved that she had taken the control. Had pleased me the way she wanted to, not giving me just what I wanted. It would have been too easy and this thing between us wasn’t about easy.

  If making me come that hard without letting me sink inside her pussy was what she needed for control, Charli could have all the control she wanted. Now I knew what she tasted like, knew how perfect her pretty pink pussy felt and knew exactly what she sounded like when she came.

  Charli had bewitched me, body and soul, just like that line from Pride that I had ended my note with. I meant it before she let me taste her and fuck if it didn’t feel even truer now. I remembered the look in her eyes after we were finished; it was dark and stormy and full of emotions and I thought mine must have looked the same.

  My fingers traced the gold embossed title that curved over the front of the leather book. I had looked up the summary of the book while Finn and I were bullshitting earlier. Emma sounded kind of like my Charli, so I thought maybe I could learn more about her from its story.

  I knew she had sadness, but she also had light and hope bursting at her seams. I knew she didn’t want another person trying to fix her or make it right. Just someone to understand she felt pain, but didn’t let it consume her. Her strength was what called out to me, what held me so captivated by her.

  Charli didn’t need someone to take care of her; but I thought just maybe, she’d let the right person do it anyway. Just as I suspected, a note was waiting for me inside, with beautiful, looped cursive writing, looking like it belonged with the book itself.

  Cage,

  Very cute. Passing notes like it’s the fifth grade. I like it. I...I like you, Cage Cooper. I did not come here to find someone. Well not someone like you. I came here to find me. My entire life was never my own, not really. I was my mama’s doting daughter, my daddy’s stubborn mouth piece, and my brothers’ little sister and... for a short while I was something I never had a say in. Ask me about Tucker. Tomorrow when it’s just you and I, because I know you will find a way for it to be just you and I. I will tell you some of my truth about Tucker. Not all, because...it’s not all mine to tell. Maybe someday. I want to tell you. You are the first person I ever wanted to tell. Not for you or for Tucker, even. For me. Which is why I want you to ask about him. It won’t be as hard as I bet you right now, reading this, will think it will be.

  What do I want you to know about me. I’m 22-23 soon as you know. I’ll take you, some action movies and popcorn, if you’re asking. ;) I love to read. I read classics, like this one you have in your hand, to smutty novels that might make even you blush. I like seafood and pasta and cherries ripe from the vine or baked in a pie. I love to cook. Even bake, even now. I like amusement parks and fairs and I love going on every single ride. I like the funnel cakes even more.

  Some fun facts I feel like calling out:

  I am single. Obviously. I had someone that I lost and...I do have ghosts but I don’t need you to fight them for me. Doesn’t mean I don’t like the sound of you offering. Or the idea of you being beside me as I fight them.

  I like that you think you own me. It sounds so barbaric but...I always wanted to be part of something that was just for me, just about me and...maybe that’s you. Maybe me being yours is what I need. Maybe it’s not.

  I am from the Midwest. Which means, I know how to shoot a gun. Well. ;) I have a temper, and I’m sure you think you’ve witnessed it; baby what you’ve seen is a gentle breeze compared to the hurricane I can become if someone hurts me or someone I care about. I will unleash it if you hurt me. Or if someone hurts you.

  I.....well lord here goes nothing....I tried to keep my distance and even be mean and push you away. Clearly you don’t give up so easily. Which is nice. Feels good. This thing, how I feel about you is scary. I...think if I got to have you, like you want me to and like I want to, and then I lost you...I don’t know if I could do that again. Because...the loss I had before would be nothing like the loss I’d be dealt if I lost you. I don’t know how I can say that and know it to be true. How can you make me feel the way you do and I barely know you? Why does it feel like everything you say, about me and you and US, is true? That no matter how far or fast I run, when I look back, you will be there, waiting? It’s scary and overwhelming and Sweet Jesus, it feels good and....I want your truth, Cage Cooper.

  “Maybe it is our imperfections which make us so perfect for one another” (I steal lines too, baby)

  Till tomorrow, Cage. XOXO, Charli.

  I must have read those last few lines a dozen times. Over and over, my fingers tracing over her words. Before tonight, I knew Charli wanted me. It was there in the fire in her eyes, the thrumming of her pulse. Didn’t mean she wanted more, that she wanted us.

  This note, her sweet words, meant she wanted more. Meant she wanted us even if it scared her. It meant Charli was willing to be scared with me.

  Knowing how worried she was to give us a chance just to lose me scared me more. I never wanted to hurt her. I knew loss was a real possibility. I could lose her just as easily.

  Fuck me. Pain ripped through me, my chest seizing at the very thought of truly losing her. No fucking way; I needed Charli. I couldn’t think about not being with her.

  In the grand scheme of things, with my history and how uncertain a life with me could be, I knew it made no sense. I didn’t deserve a ten, a Lizzie Bennett, or really even a Katniss. I didn’t deserve Charli Dixon. It ate at me but I knew she didn’t deserve me either; didn’t deserve learning the truth about all the women from my past.

  Charli certainly didn’t deserve the fear my job could cause her. What she did deserve was me giving her everything to make that shit seem insignificant. Charli deserved someone willing to fight for her. Willing to fight alongside her. Someone who could show her that fear or even loss was nothing compared to the good I could give her. I knew my pop would give anything to my mom; I wanted to be that kind of man for Charli.

  Running my hands over her own truths, I knew I would give her my truth. Every single detail if she truly wanted it. I would give her a promise that every day, the idea of having her would keep me safe. Before her, though I wasn’t reckless, I wasn’t exactly careful. Sometimes the thrill and adrenaline made me unfocused but Charli was enough to ancho
r me. That’s why I needed her.

  I could love Charli. If I didn’t already, that is. I just had to prove she could love me too, even if it meant risking everything.

  Because I wanted to risk everything to love her.

  Charli

  Today was dragging and I knew why. I couldn’t wait to see Cage. Just about every ten minutes, I checked my clock, my foot tapping beneath my desk. Must be the caramel macchiato fraps that had me so wired. Because my night had been amazing.

  After tossing and turning for less than an hour, I slept hard. Pretty sure the three orgasms worked this time. Apparently, three is my magic number as long as Cage is giving them to me. Just like that I was flushed all over, my breasts aching and my lady bits throbbing in memory. His hands were magic, his mouth like a potent drug and I knew now I couldn’t get enough of him.

  Cage had me feeling dirty and needy, both in the best possible way. I had tried to put up a fight, though not a very convincing one. I wanted Cage Cooper and god dammit I was going to let myself have the things I wanted. That’s why I had come here, after all. To taste and feel and live. Well, it seems I wanted to taste and feel and live Cage.

  My watch said I had forty-five minutes until he showed up for our last session with the kids. Panic gripped me as I gathered my notes and started to head down to the atrium. I had gotten so used to seeing his beautiful face every day. I didn’t like the idea of losing that.

  In fact, I was a little afraid it might change the dynamic of things between us. Then again, the way things felt last night between us, I didn’t think anything could snuff out that burn.

  Cage’s eyes smoldered and his touch singed my skin. I burned for him between my legs, with a constant flame throbbing at my chest. I felt reckless at the same time safe and right when I was with him.

  I had done and said things to him last night I had only ever read in my dirty books. Things I never imagined I’d want to say to someone, let alone have the courage to. Cage made me want to open up all the dark, shuttered places of me I never let anyone into.

  Never before, even when I thought I might love Tucker, had I opened up. Not really. Certainly not the way I wanted to with Cage. I had known the man less than a week and I wanted to tell him everything, share everything with him.

  I didn’t know if it was love, didn’t know if I believed it could be so easy. Sweet Jesus it sure felt like it.

  Climbing into a seat at one of the high tabletops, I thought about Tucker. I loved Tucker; we were a huge part of each other’s lives for far too long for me to betray that. Was I in love with him? Nothing I felt for Tucker was anything like what I felt for Cage Cooper.

  “Afternoon, Sugar.” My hands stilled on the notes spread out in front of me.

  “Cage?” His breath was hot at my ear and I felt his presence before his arms spread out beside me, pretending to take interest in the notes.

  “Mmm, it’s me gorgeous,” His strong arms flexed as he closed me in and my breathing picked up, “Jesus Christ you smell fucking amazing. I tell you how sweet you always smell? Drives me crazy, baby.” This was all spoken against my ear, his hot breath fluttering my hair, which was down once again.

  “No-no. Cage,” My head tipped back when he drug his lips over my ear, wet and slow and hot, “I didn’t expect you yet. You need to behave.” Cage laughed, the rumble warming my back and making my insides melt.

  “Hmm, baby I don’t know if I can,” His teeth nipped at my ear and I whimpered, “not with you making those sounds. Looking so good. I love your hair down. Do you wear it down for me, Sugar?” His mouth was at my neck, feeling my pulse thrum and I nodded.

  “Y-yes. I wore it down once and you looked at me like....like you wanted to wrap it around your hands and...I wanted you to.” Who was this woman talking to this sexy, gorgeous man like this? Didn’t sound or feel like me.

  “Jesus, fuck, baby I love when you talk like that. Trust me that is exactly what I was thinking, Sugar. I missed you,” His arms closed tighter around me, the notes forgotten as I fell back against his chest, “Couldn’t wait any longer to see you.” For a moment he held me and Sweet Jesus it felt like coming home and I knew that should scare me. But it didn’t.

  “Me either, Cage. Thought noon was dicking with me and refusing to show up.” Cage laughed, warm and deep and god I loved the sound of it.

  “Mentor class or not, I stayed away about as long as I could stand. I promise to behave though. No handsy shit in front of the kids. So before they get here....” There were maybe five other people in the atrium, too far away to see us tucked away in the corner.

  That was my excuse for letting Cage do what he was doing. His large hands were beneath the table, hitching my skirt up before circling my thighs. My body bowed to his touch and he growled something at my ear before his teeth sank into my neck.

  Fuck I liked that. Before I could tell him that, or pretend I wanted him to stop, his hand was cupping me, his long index finger spreading me open to him.

  “Baby,” His voice sounded pained and I smirked, “no panties? You better tell me that’s because you wanted me to touch you again.” I twisted enough to press my lips to his ear to answer.

  “Abso-fuckin-lutely.” Cage growled and then he plunged his finger inside me and I arched my hips into his touch.

  “Fuck, baby,” His finger pressed deep, stilling before another joined the first, “so wet. So soft and wet for me. Been thinking about touching this sweet pussy all night, Sugar. Can I tell you something dirty?” I laughed and he groaned because my muscles clenched around him.

  “Mmm, yes. Please do. I like your kind of dirty, Cage.” That got his fingers pumping so I had to quiet my moan.

  “I have a dirty fantasy about you,” His teeth nipped at my pulse as his fingers fucked me deep and slow, “it involves you, a dark corner of this library and my face buried in this pussy. Your sweet sounds quiet so no one hears you as I make you come with my mouth.” Sweet Jesus.

  “Oh yeah? Is it a promise or a fantasy?” That got a swipe of his thumb over my clit and I arched into his hand, my hips grinding.

  “A fucking promise, Sugar. Now, do I make you come right now,” His arm crossed over my front, pinning me back, “or touch you till you need it then make you wait?” The hand not pumping into me covered my left breast, palming the nipple that was already hard and aching.

  “Cage,” My teeth bit into his arm, my hips rocking, “Please. Once you touch me...I need to come. Please, let me come baby.” I cried out, careless of the people too far away to notice us.

  “Charli,” Cage growled to my jaw, “tell me it’s mine. I need you to say it.” I could give him that because we both knew it was true.

  “Yes, baby. It’s yours. I’m yours. Please...” Cage’s thumb was swiping back and forth, hard and fast against my clit.

  “Fuck yeah. This pussy is mine. Come for me, Charli. Tell me who made you come.”

  “Cage...shit...oh god.” We were quiet; hushed, heated voices as his fingers pumped into me, hitting my wall as my hips tilted.

  “Shh, that’s it, baby. Fuck it’s so wet, just like that Sugar. Jesus I can’t wait to be deep inside you and feel you come around my cock.” That was all it took, I went molten from my center out at his dirty words.

  My hips lifted off the chair, Cage pressing me down hard with the arm across my chest. Then his hand left my breast, his thumb sinking into my mouth. I bit down to keep from crying out as I came hard. I couldn’t wait to feel him inside me as I came, either. To feel so filled and connected and like he finally owned me completely.

  I wanted it more every time he touched me, every time he whispered those filthy words at my ear. Cage clutched me to him as I recovered slowly and I kissed his thumb as he pulled it from my mouth. I sucked a little longer than necessary and he growled, knowing I was being dirty too. It didn’t feel dirty though.

  “Mmm, afternoon delight, huh? Baby I didn’t plan to finger fuck you in the middle of the library. I just get carried
away. Don’t be mad at me.” Cage righted my dress after slowly slipping his fingers out of my throbbing pussy.

  “Mad at you?” Cage came around to sink into the high stool beside me, smirking a sexy smirk that made me want to start all over again.

  “You no sooner tell me to behave and I’m knuckle deep inside you. You just...you smell so good and look so fucking good. Taste so good.” My jaw dropped as he sucked his fingers into his mouth, his eyes fluttering.

  “Cage! Jesus. You are so dirty.” I loved it though; that he liked my scent and my taste. Jesus it made me hot.

  “Sucking your come off my fingers is less dirty than making you come in the middle of an atrium full of students, baby. I’d wager, anyway.” Cage winked and I flushed, covering my face and shaking my head.

  “Oh my god I just let you finger me in the middle of the library. In the middle of the day. Cage Cooper, what have you done to me?” Cage smiled a beautiful, bright smile as his hand slid up my thigh again.

  “Mmm, well I think I’ve made you come three times. Maybe four. What I have done to you, baby, is brought you to life.” I sobered suddenly because he was right.

  “Look at me,” I ordered and watched him sober, his fingers lifting to lace with mine, “you have. I feel so much...ever since the first day I met you. Even if you pissed me off or scared me. I feel. It’s beautiful and I....” I bit my bottom lip because I nearly said I loved him for it; whether I was in love or not, I did love him for how he made me feel.

  “You’re so beautiful,” Cage watched me before he shook his head, “I was waiting for you, Charli. I was. I didn’t know if I’d ever really find you. Now that I have....there’s no fucking way I’m letting you go. Letting go of how you make me feel. You’re sexy and beautiful and I want you but...I just want to be around you and hear you laugh and...it is beautiful.” Cage lifted his honey hazel eyes to mine and they were brimming with emotion and I leaned forward, unable to help myself.