Let It Burn

by Dee Ellis

  Cage must have thought the same because he stepped between us, shoving me behind him a little. That seemed to startle Cash out of whatever rage he had slipped into. Blinking at us, he stepped back more, glancing over his shoulder at the others. Colton stood and crossed the room, the girls behind him.

  A silent exchange happened between the two and then Cash turned to me again. I waited for it. For the rage or the cries saying I was a liar. Or the harsh laughter that I was making some cruel joke at the expense of a dead man. Cash closed the distance between us and searched my eyes.

  “That motherfucker let you deal with his truths for half your life? Let you give your fucking life away to him and he knew he could never give you the same? Or did he think you might be able to cure him of it somehow? Fucking idiot.” I sagged against Cage, relief coursing through me that for right now anyway, Cash’s anger was not directed at me.

  “Tucker tried,” I sighed, tired of making excuses for him but doing it anyway, “I think he thought.... he knew no one here would accept it. Or he assumed that anyway. After he died...I couldn’t...I didn’t know how....” Colton was there, a heavy hand at Cash’s shoulder and a warm look as he regarded me.

  “Cupcake, you should never have had to carry his truths for him. I get why he might have felt like lying was his only option. His daddy had him running that farm and giving him a litter of grand kids. We were his family too though, for our entire lives and he lied to us the entire time. I loved him like a brother and....I figured it out a few months into boot camp. At least, I thought so once I saw how he and Noah looked at each other. I asked him over and over why he took a different duty than us. He lied then too. I asked him one time on leave, a few months before he died. I asked him what he was hiding, why he was so fucking different. He still lied.” Colton shook his head and Cash nodded too, looking up at me.

  “I never thought.... maybe I thought he didn’t love you enough. I always thought that. I thought it was because you were my baby sister and nothing is good enough for you,” He took a long look at Cage who still stood protecting me and smiled, as if amending that thought.

  “A few times...I thought he stuck around for us, not for you. I didn’t think it was because of that, though. I saw him with Noah too, but...to be honest I think I ignored it. I wanted him to make you happy and I knew he didn’t. I should have called him on his shit then. That night he proposed, I knew he had signed up to leave and I told him to elope with us. Do right by you. He let daddy talk him out of it. Nothing and no one was talking me out of marrying my Maisie. Not even her.” Cash smiled when the tension in the room broke up a little as the girls entered the kitchen where I stood, Maisie moving close to Cash.

  “Tucker never should have laid this shit at your feet. I lost my shit when he proposed to you that night; I thought maybe he thought.... I mean he was in love with one of the Dixon's his whole life wasn’t he? Had to have one of us.” Colton said this and Cash jerked to look at him and for a second, I feared for Colton’s safety.

  “What? Me? What the fuck, Colton?” Maisie moved fast, putting her tiny hands on his massive chest to stop him.

  “Yes, you, you big idiot. So what? He loved all of you so much. Just in different ways. I don’t think Tucker thought you could ever be okay with him feeling the way he did, let alone return it. He tried to fix what he felt, like a fool, by being with Charli. You two are so much alike, Cash. That didn’t work so he had to get away. Didn't think about what he was doing or who he was hurting. Who he was leaving behind to pick up his mess.” Cash whirled away to pace the kitchen, his energy taught and explosive.

  Cage twisted to bring me in front of him, holding me tight to his chest, arms like iron bars around me. Fighting my ghosts with me just like he promised. Right by my side. I drew on his strength as I handed the letters he had given me for both of them over.

  I read mine aloud, wanting all of them to hear it and be done with his words once and for all. Afterwards, Cage took the letter from my hands, cupping my face as he kissed away my tears and told me he loved me. Then he crossed the room and threw the letter in the fireplace.

  “Doesn’t change who he was to you,” Cage broke the quiet after the boys had read then burned their letters too, “doesn’t change how much he loved you all. How hard it was for him to figure out how to live his truth. I used to think he was a coward, for letting Charli deal with the town and their dream of some perfect fucking wedding they would never see. Really though, I think he did it for her.” I frowned as he came back to hold me before I realized he was right. Of course he was.

  “Tucker let me hate him while he was thousands of miles away. Let me keep on loving mama even though she broke my heart by lying to me and leaving me to deal with the shop and you boys on my own. Let me forgive daddy for running out on me and leaving me to run this farm that I never wanted. To take care of this house. He let me pin all my pain from you two deserting me,” Now the waterworks came and Cage was there again, holding me tight as I sobbed.

  “Leaving me to deal with the mess mama and daddy left me with on him, instead of you. So I could forgive you and love you despite how much it hurt me. How alone I felt. How hard it was to walk around this town alone with no one caring about me. Only wondering about my pain and my tragedies and talking about it right in front of me. It gave me the strength to leave so I could finally find where I belonged.” Cage kissed the back of my neck and whispered gently at my skin.

  “With me. Home, with me.” Abso-fuckin-lutely.

  Many tears were cried and lots of shit was talked out that night, late into the night really. We laughed though too. We played board games, the girls almost always beating the boys, and ate my mama’s recipes and drank until we were all giggling drunks.

  Before then, we decided the boys would take over the farm, like they really already had, but now the house too. I would sign over papers before I headed home so it was official. The boys thought they could add onto the house and share it, since the girls wanted to live and someday soon hopefully, raise babies in the same house. I cursed the boys to end up with twins and they looked mildly horrified.

  When they retreated to bed in the early morning hours, Cage and I were sitting on the front porch, enjoying the night air. I still had some truths to share with Tucker’s family, but I could do that with my brothers by my side. Cage had helped me battle my ghosts and I knew I could do it without him now. Only when I had to.

  I knew no matter what I had to battle, he would be there for me. Like I wanted to be there for him. We talked for what felt like hours on that front porch. I told him all the rest of the pieces of me, the ones I had kept hidden just in case.

  “I don’t like mint,” I laughed as he sat a step above me, cradling me in his knees, “I love cinnamon though. You taste like cinnamon and I fucking love it.” Cage laughed too, running his hands over me slowly, no rush behind his touch now.

  “Mmm I never liked citrus much till you. You taste like ripe oranges.” I whimpered when suddenly his touch changed, his hands cupping my sex.

  “Do I?” Cage wiggled his fingers between my leggings, finding me with no panties.

  “Hmm, I was certain it was citrus. Might need to taste to confirm it.” Then I was hauled against his chest as he carried me out to the tiny barn behind the cabin.

  “Cage! What...” Before I could protest, my leggings were gone and his head was between my legs. Seems barns really were our new thing.

  After confirming that I apparently did indeed taste like citrus, he lifted me and pinned me to the wall. The moonlight shone in on his beautiful face through the slatted roof as he sunk deep inside me and covered my moan with a gentle hand. Then his mouth and tongue and teeth. Slowly he made love to me, holding me close, hands restless as they slipped over me, as if memorizing me. Sweet Jesus I loved him.

  One arm clutched at the wall above me, the other fisted his thick hair as I watched him claim me. All the parts of me, all the little pieces that he loved no matter what. Cage
was my home, my future and the great love of my life. So I told him all that as he pumped into me again and again, always showing me with his touch, with his need to become a part of me how much he loved me.

  “I love you so fucking much,” I cried but they were happy tears, tears that washed away the last of the bad, of the fear, “you are my future, Cage Cooper. The great love of my life.”

  “Abso-fucking-lutely, Sugar. You are the great love of my life, Charli Dixon. Mmm, Charli Cooper? Fuck yes I like the way that sounds. I love you Sugar....so fucking much.” It felt like hours that he pressed me to that wall but too soon we were coming together. I fell apart in his arms and he was there to put me back together, carrying me inside and crawling into bed beside me.

  Cage was always going to chase me if I ran. I knew that now. I also knew he needed me to make him feel worthy of love, of happiness.

  As we lay in bed until the sun came up, I told him I would always be his, all the pieces of me. Cage would always be mine; all his pieces that he thought were too ragged and didn’t fit. They fit with me.

  I promised forgiveness if he fucked up if he promised to forgive me when I thought I might want to run. I didn’t think we would have to hold each other to those ones, though.

  Cage Cooper was more than enough to make me want to stand still.

  The End

  Epilogue

  I love dimples. Used to hate my own but now, since my girl loves it so much, I kind of like the guy. I love the dimples in the small of her back and the one at her left cheek when she smiles really big. Seeing a tiny baby fussing in his mom’s arms, dark hair and gray eyes and a huge dimple, I smiled. I loved baby dimples too.

  Waiting for Charli to finish chatting with the woman, her eyes light as she cooed at the baby, I thought maybe she did too. Damn she was beautiful. Hair loose around her face, the colorful lights of the library shining behind her like that first day. Making her look like a fucking angel. My angel.

  Charli had tortured me with almost three weeks apart while she took care of getting her family’s shop up and running again. Now she was home where she belonged and I had a surprise for her. Lola, her new bestie at the library, winked at me as she slid the book I asked for across the counter. Part of the surprise.

  Those weeks without her had been rough, but she needed to do it. To reconnect with her brothers and her ex’s family as she told the truth about their dead son. Charli had called me sobbing just moments after sitting down with Tucker’s family. Me and Mr. Belvedere had found our home too in that cottage, so we waited for Charli to come back to us there.

  “I told them, Cage,” Her breathing had me worried and I wanted so bad to be there with her, “I told his mama and his sister. We cried a little, they were angry too, not at me though. Sweet Jesus. Everyone who matters knows, baby. I can...I can come home without this ghost haunting me anymore.” Fuck that was music to my ears.

  “I’m here waiting for you, Sugar. I might have moved myself and Mr. Belvedere into the cottage.... I can’t...I can’t be without you now so....” Charli had laughed and I loved that sound because it was free and pure and gone was her pain and hesitation.

  The next weeks had drug by but I had talked to her every single day. More than once usually. I had to make do with one or two Skype calls because her connection sucked but we made the best of it. Came so hard one night while I watched her touch herself for me that I think I spooked our cat. After I moved all my shit to the cottage, I fixed all the things she told me about, making the place perfect for her.

  I also bought her a book every single fucking day and wrote her letters that once she read each one, she would find. I had nothing to share with her now, we had pretty much shared all our pieces, but I found things to write.

  How much I loved the smell of her pillow as I lay in our big bed. How badly I missed coming home to her every day and seeing her at the library. Those kinds of things. She would find them when she needed them, I hoped.

  After I got back home, I had a chat with my mom that was part of my surprise for Charli today. After that, I sat and had a talk with Finn and then Gigi, trying to mend the damage I had done that last night here. I would always wonder if he was good enough for her, just like Cash would always question me, but Gigi was a good judge of character.

  Which might explain why she was freezing him out still. His truths had been a little too much for her, I guess. Still, I had given her my blessing. Kind of. I didn’t give it to him, because it was more fun to watch him sweat. I loved the guy though and I thought maybe he loved Gigi.

  He was certainly a miserable fuck since I had caught them together and she had walked out on him. The first time he perked up was when he heard Gigi was taking over my place. I knew he deserved my blessing the day he helped me move into the cottage.

  “Talked to Ariel. Told her if I ever saw her near Charli, or this cottage or the station ever again, I’d tell her daddy. No, not Blake,” I tensed at the mention of that prick, but let him continue, “Her daddy finances her bad habits. Senator Adams. Heard of him?” Well shit, I guess I never even knew her last name. Didn’t care enough to, let alone to link her to the powerful senator who was well liked and friends with Pop.

  “No shit! Well...thanks, bro-seph. I think my girl might have killed her this go round if coming around still seemed like a good idea to her. Charli shoots. Like, a straight shot and the woman is packing.” Finn gave me an impressed look and then we laughed and the tension that had still invaded our interactions was gone.

  I couldn’t blame Finn for my past, for the mistakes I had made. It was not Finn’s fault I had fucked girls whose names I didn’t know and futures I didn’t give a shit about. I had felt worthless. Thought I might find some kind of confirmation of something between the legs of women who never could have given me what I needed.

  It was Charli who made me feel worth something. Who had looked at me like I mattered from the start, and didn’t need me to fuck her to prove I was a man. Charli just needed me to stand by her side while she fought her ghosts, while she found her home. That made me feel like a fucking man, making a home with her. Building a future with her.

  Now her mama’s bakery was running again, her feisty sister in law’s Maisie and Sadie taking it over. The family home was in the capable hands of her brothers and her ghosts had been chased away. Now, she had come home. Those weeks without her had been hell but I was grateful for them too. I thought losing her might kill me the night she walked out and those weeks proved I had gotten it easy.

  I would never be the same after her and I was fucking thanking god every day for that. Looking at her gazing at the adorable, fussy baby with the dimples, I knew I had found the her I had been searching for. The woman I wanted to make little babies like that one with. The great love of my life. Charli was my Lizzie Bennett. My future; as soon as I got her fine ass out of this library, I was going to seal the deal on that one.

  “Hey Sugar,” I greeted her, leaning over the counter to kiss her lewdly to embarrass her into to shutting up, “Ready to go?” It worked; she blushed a sexy pink, her glasses not hiding the fire that bloomed in her gray eyes.

  “Yes, baby. See you tomorrow, Lola.” With one last gaze at the baby, she rounded the counter and took the hand I had waiting for her.

  Home. Charli slipping her hand into mine felt like coming home. For us both. I gave her a squeeze and rushed her from the library. It was just days before thanksgiving and downtown Chicago was a flurry of snow and whipping winds. I laughed as a wind caught her short skirt, kicking it up.

  My laugh died in my throat when I saw she wore no panties. A bad habit brought on my need to bury myself inside her as quickly and often as I could. A hard smack at her perfect, round ass had her yelping before I rubbed away the sting gently.

  Lifting her into the truck I had commandeered, and getting a delicious view of her pretty pink pussy, I groaned again then ran to the driver side. Needed a few breaths of freezing winter air to calm me as I adjusted m
y cock and climbed in.

  “Naughty girl, Sugar,” I smirked, eyes zoning in on the cleft between her legs, “didn’t I tell you to stop that?” I had but then days later I had ripped her favorite pair of expensive panties off in her office so I could fuck her on her desk.

  “Well, I mean, yeah but then...you look like you’re up to something.” Her honey brown eyebrows shot up above her square rimmed glasses but I lifted a shoulder.

  “Don’t know what you mean, Sugar. You look fucking gorgeous today. Pretty pink.” I wet my lips, eyes on the road but mind in the gutter.

  “Baby, I’m not wearing.... your filthy mouth. I love you, Cage Cooper.” It hit me like a sledgehammer. Every. Single. Time.

  “Love you more, Charli. You hungry baby? I think I might make us some dinner.” That was a lie, but not one that would piss her off once she found out why I was lying.

  “Starving.” Then she slid across the seat to snuggle close, complaining about the cold when I had the heat cranked and it was warm. Just wanted to be close to me to press her face into my neck and touch my dick. I let her. I always let her.

  We got to the cottage too fast for the dick touch to be what I wanted, but I was too nervous anyway. I still got hard as she stroked me through my jeans, because I needed nothing but to feel her close and I was like steel. Tonight I was nervous and I knew all the touching in the world could come later.

  The driveway was empty and I glanced down the street, seeing familiar cars stashed down the street. Charli, thankfully, somehow missed the massive trucks hiding in plain view. Helping her down again, and landing another smack at her plump ass, I led her to the house.

  “Baby I think for dinner....” Charli broke off as she stepped inside the house.

  The cottage was crammed with people. Sara stood off with my parents, Mom and Pop already with tears in their eyes. My sisters with their husbands. Gigi winked at us, standing close to Finn, as I stepped in behind Charli. Locked the door just in case she might want to run again.