Gone By
Page 4
Her face turned pale, her soulful nature diminishing into the air. I stood with quiet heart, trembling with grieves that’s lasting over me. Neither I had the effective thought that the same would be some way or the other Isha was experiencing. How would I console her over this where I’m broken with pieces of nurtured love within me.
“Why did they divorce” I grasped firmly her hand angling her face at me.
I could notice her eyes getting moistened. She denied to let me know. She wriggled, tending to step aside away from me.
“Why your Dad didn’t love your Mom? I escalated my tone.
“Yes! He did. But as time passed on his ignorance over Mom erupted and denied to be together after that they divorced” her voice cried out of tears.
She sat all over again on that hard turf of the rock. I conjointly sat beside her. I curled my hand upon her shoulder, shifting little more closer to her just to let her feel the consolation that she needed at that moment. She embraced me tight for minutes with no hesitation. I didn’t knew where I should shuffle my hand for the sudden cosset act from her. I just managed to place my hand palm softly rubbing her back consoling her all the way I could. I could feel her heart pumping harder. As she enclosed more inside. Perhaps she needed a lot more care.
“Come on, it’s time to move on. It’s time to cheer” I encouraged her.
She nodded her head with sharp observance on my eyes. She slightly hatched calmness with an effort to control her deeply buried emotions which I had been doing the same since months grieving for lost love. I flushed out a little smile with hype of condolence which she granted into her inner mind.
“Come On....Now smile out a bit”.
“It’s ok....I’m fine” she claimed wiping her eyes with her handkerchief soaked with her perfume smell.
She straightened herself away from the embracing positioning we were at. I lose myself and pulled away my hand that curled her. We felt the silence that existed, while the roars of sea waves arrived ghastly.
“Just wait...” I heckled with sort of excitement.
I quickly positioned my Nikon camera flashed out a photograph of her. She obstructed by her hand the incoming flash light.
“What you doing” she gave a gentle push on my body.
“I’m sure I would be looking weirdo” she jerked with a slight smile on her face.
“No...You would be looking the best”. She rumbled out.
“You are just.........” her words gets shortened .
“What am I ?” with my eye brow raised wishing to know what she must be thinking on her mind. “Nothing” she glanced quick at my face and changed her direction forward.
Three
....................
Her tender and fragile behaviour enchanted my inner core. I just wanted to see her happy again. I rolled my eyes to glimpse at her. The silence once again welcomed us. The time gone by, hours passed on and still we were hanging there loosing ourselves into the world of fictional mind conflict that we had been going through. I realized after long time, the next day I had to return back to my institution yet not sure about the situation where to compromise and settle it down.
“I had the first click of yours. It’s going to be my memory of you” with my wide notation of calm nature.
“Yeah!!...So, I did have of yours” she hissed with a blinking smile on her face.
Her eyes flared out slowly after those heavy sheds of tears burst out of emotions.
“But, that’s unfair” I heckled funnily.
“Why?”.
“Cause you got two pictures of mine that’s too weird. Sure, I must not be looking handsome”.
She laughed freely like she never laughed before. I just waited for this moment to come where I would be able see her thriving out of joy again. The air blew freely out of no obstruction, by now we were almost dried out, feeling lot better and well equipped with our clothes. The breeze that prevailed added extensively to our company. The white clouds hovering above us appeared like the snow falling from far across the sky. She tried to speak breaking the long lasting silence between us. She swept her soft voice whispering out “ I just love this place”.
“ So did I” whispering softly.
She was well seated beside me now, perhaps all her internal agitation has calm down and she has now began to feel the strums of happiness playing out in the air. I glanced at my wrist watch, showing 9:55pm. Should I take her back to hotel or is it me longing here. I felt the necessity step to take but as I see her it diverged me away in the presence of enthralling phenomena we were in. She wanted to spent more time along with those sea roars. Every words she spoke from now on, it equally pinched my heart with those deep emotional attributes she held. Some heap of joy was my tendency to feed her.
“So, do you want to hear my Love Story ?” I snatched my voice quick.
Her excitement raised high, whirling around my head, making a decent request to clip out about my story.
“Yeah!! Surely I was thinking about that” she grinned.
“But, firstly I would like to know one secret from you”.
she rolled her eyes with excitement. “Yeah! Surely....what secret would you like to know about me”.
“Did you ever fell in love ?” I squirmed.
Her face settled down low and turned pale. Her breath sighed away.
“Yeah!” in breaking tone.
“Lucky Girl”.
“Why that so?” she niggled at me.
“That’s because....you’re lucky” with my amusing tone. She giggled.
“Now, will you divide your love story to me” directing her melodic syllable at me.
I stood up shifted my feet an inch. My stressing gaze continued to look far distance across Arabian. Those heavy loads of memories crawling back once again shattering, haunting, replaced by new inertia of being broken hearted guy. An appearance on my face existed as if the man made statue corroded away. I stood still in least demand of thoughts, even my breath didn’t take the chance to hiss out. I could feel the blink of my eyes halted. Isha added by my side. She firmly grasped my hand laid her head on my shoulder.
“Let’s get off this rock” her voice streamed in fragile sorrow.
We stroll to walk at the corner cafe just few steps away. She led the way and I followed her prints. She held my hand with her strong grip like she never wanted to be left alone.
“Where are you pulling me” I sighed.
“Just come along with me” she demanded.
The sideline of footpath along it’s arc laid many numbers of vendors and the smells of various veg and non veg prevailed into the air. She continued along her path and I was imprisoned by her grip. She pushed the glass door applying the other hand. When then stroke of cool breeze from frontline blew at us. Until we entered the corner cafe she kept her grip tight on me. She led me to one corner table. She shifted the chair asked me to sit. She grabbed close the other one beside me. “What you doing” I strummed in soft tone.
“ I need to know what happened with you” her tone seemed demanding at me.
“It’s nothing, I just love her still and she’s no more with me now that’s it”.
“I need to know the reason behind your broken intimacy” her voice turned more deeper.
She asked to offer us with cold coffee. The cafe boy served us with cup of coffee with mixed flavoured ice-cream.
“What’s her name” Isha keened to know.
“Anannya” I silently whispered.
“What she do”.
The fuss gets created on my face. “Why are you so keen to know about her”.
“That’s because I don’t want to see you in this way. You’re fine, gentle young guy and you shouldn’t be having any sort of distorted life” she stressed her concern.
“So, what about you then” with my severe tone.
She consoled herself to silence. “It’s alright...I’m sorry for extreme concern over you” with glimpse of disappointment on her face.
“Yes! You’re right. I shouldn’t have joined you” her voice gets coarse.
Were we heated up by our ill mannered conversation it kept constantly flickering on my mind. Isha denied to look at me now. She sat quiet facing her face away from me towards the outdoor. I realize the situation that needed to be secure.
“Should I apologize her for the harsh conduct of mine” my conscious asserted me.
She still looked disappointed on me. And sitting together on one set with such phenomena doesn’t add up to the ambient. The silence between us grew more deeper and deeper spreading out into space. Still cups filled with coffee laid on the table. Neither both of us sobering to inculcate the gentleness. Whirling on my mind I had no freaking spot lighting thought what would I need to say her under this circumstances. I gathered some strength and courage underneath my feet that propelled my heart. I finally made the statement of “Sorry” to her with an apologetic realm. Isha, definitely a delicate and kind nature of girl. All I needed was to reciprocate her what she wanted. Likewise I always tried to make her feel different about me. After prolonged silent stage between us she finally projected her glimpse once at me.
“It’s Ok....me too Sorry” she sighed.
The ecstatic freedom once again reappeared between us. She took a sip of the coffee. Suggested me to hold the cup and join along with her.
“I’ve a better Idea” she flicked her voice.
“Of What”.
She looked intently ablaze about the idea which she had on her mind. But denying to response to let me know at her first quest.
“Well, I would suggest you to change yourself away from what you’re now” she uttered in serious notation.
“So, you’re asking me to change as new person”.
She pressed her lips peeking her eyes at me “ I know you can. You are not like some other guy. You’re different”.
“Why do you think I’m different”.
“Cause I can understand that. I can feel those words and your everything you speak out. Trust me”.
For moment it felt she stirred my heart from randomness. She frequently looked at my face with some expression on her face which naturally melted my inner core.
“ You know........You’re very fascinating Girl” I muttered.
“Awww!!! Come on get serious” she smiled.
“Do I look like some nerd kind of person?”.
“You act stupid” she giggled her voice.
I could see her coffee cup almost empty so did mine. The waiter placed the paper bill before us. “Let’s move out” she pulled my hand after paying the bill.
I never knew my stoic nature she would reveal me. She took the lead pushed the glass door as we stepped down through the stairs.
“Now tell me where we would go?”.
I took the chance to have a glance at my wrist watch in order to make her aware of the time.
“It’s 11:30 night. It would be safe if we return back”.
She looked at me for minutes with silence on her lips “That would be sensible”.
“Ok! As you wish” She agreed to it.
We strolled to walk on wherever out foot stepping out. Like the two newly heavenly souls wandering about in wonder forgetting the rest of the world beside us, lost in those glamour of our presence nourishing the joy and happiness that’s being shared between us. We walked away from the coast of Marine drive. Yards away we reached a spot. Cool breeze welcomed us as our steps shuffled. Isha shifts more closer to me. Our steps matched together. She lingers to look at my eyes. I could finally make out she followed my every instincts.
“Is she started to like me” I whispered in dilemma.
She firmly grasped my arm, gently rest her head on my shoulder and our steps continued. We were away from the spot light of people. All we needed was to hire one cab to get back to our hotel. She remained silent for long so was I. We could only hear our steps thrashing hard into the ground.
“Maybe I would be leaving tomorrow” I feebly hissed.
“Where” enticing her voice.
“I need to get back to my Institution”.
Her eyes filled with terror of misjudgement. Her inner confrontations not allowing her to stay stable.
“Why so early” Isha in emotive tone.
It seemed she didn’t want me to leave the next day. Neither I had any other reason to stay back. My two days vacation would be ending within few hours. But, what would be the other reason Isha wanting me to stick back. I knew for sure, I would miss her but foremost I still miss Anannya more. Definitely, I would be all alone back to my previous image missing both her and Anannya.
We didn’t bother to hire a cab, neither we realized the emergency of any miss happening that would be possibly dangerous for us at this late hour of night. It’s 12:00am the next day. Her head still resting on my shoulder and yet our steps added together. Traffic on road diminished. Her eyes appeared vague. Firmly demanded some rest. I stopped a running taxi. Added our location to the driver. I clunk the cab door for Isha, allowed her to take the first seat. I firmly sat beside her. Her eyes in state of falling asleep. She shifts nearer to me clutches her hand on me resting her heavy head on my chest. My hands folded and curled her like protective sheath. She fell asleep. Her tired eyes collapsed to shut down. The taxi run on free road accelerating as hard as it could. I got lost into deep sharp thought as the cab accelerated harder. Thinking about the moment we had shared together. And now she under my arm in deep sleep. Imagining if this night would be with the one I love, yes for sure I was thinking about Anannya all the way. I could feel the heart beat of her, her warm breath inhaling in and out. But, Isha looked very serene with her closed eyes. No way I could let her feel little distract. Comfortably we made the day and now we are on our way back. The next few hours would change the fate of our journey. Who never knew will it be the first and the last, would it be end of our synapse we grew. Isha needed someone to be with her to assist. She had come all the way as tourist from Houston. With no idea on her mind, she was just like a lonely island here. Yet, she was bold, strong and brave. She even knew there was no one here for her. Maybe that’s the reason my chivalry flourished out before her. Just way out to reached.
“Did we reach” her voice shook off.
“No....Just a little away”.
She laid her head again over my chest and my hands curled her protectively. The taxi made a sudden halt. Didn’t realize the way, we finally reached at the front gate of the hotel entrance. I clunk the door and let Isha out. With short notice the cab flunked away. Isha waited for me at few steps away. She grabbed me closer to her.
“Are you sure you are going” her voice fluctuated.
I kept the silence within. Diverted my interested to answer her.
“You’re tired. You need sleep” rubbing my palm at her back.
We moved into the reception. The hotel manager handed us our respective room key. The elevator laid empty from side wall. We headed towards it. She pressed the button. The door opened. We settled ourselves inside and again pressed her floor.
“It was a nice day” she said softly.
“Yeah!”. She inched herself close to me.
With no acquisition on her mind she engulfed me and hugged. The elevator fleeting higher and higher. And her hug touching deeper and deeper. My breath rested for seconds. I plunged her tightly. Raised by heart attributes that imploded between us, imparting the passion of each one’s feelings that bound us together locked into each one’s arm. The heat of desire assembled breaking out of its door, wildly roars bursting out of heart, I grasped her more tight, pressing harder closer to my body. We stumbled hitting one side of elevator. The rush of hormones triggering out, calling all those wildly nature of man. Imaged changed out, turning us more wild and freak enhancing our inner desire. She kept kissing me wildly. I summed up with her
. I grew more wilder, my hormones injecting hard ,kissing her all through with no limit. The elevator stopped at that floor. It crackled to open. We were yet to calm down. She suddenly pushed herself away. She stepped out quickly. I led my way following her. No chatting we made but gestures acted. She opened her room door and stood still.
“Good night” she peeked at my eyes as I stood before her. I nodded my head. She closed her door slowly. I walked off towards the elevator where it laid rested. My room was one floor above. I pressed the elevator button that glided upwards the next floor. Thoughts rumbled on my head. The scene hovering on my eyes being encased in the same elevator where just few minutes earlier the exchange of terrific syndrome of worldly desires erupted. The smells still remains the same. Her million dollar fragrance spread out into the heated air inside the elevator, fused the content of fresh air. Every inhaling air entered through my nose there were some parts of her smell adding up to it. The kiss on her neck flashed on my mind. Her sticky lips that locked on mine pictured out. It’s obvious these were element of ill fated disturbance. As the elevator gets higher and higher the feeling of guiltiness dwells on my mind.
“How Could I be so obsessed with her” my conscious flinched at me.
“Is it Love or the lust” jerked on my head around.
The elevator stopped at its directed floor. My step inched out forwarding towards my room. The whole perspective that we had kept screening on my mind. Yet, deciding whether I should move out or extend a day with her. For I knew she wanted me to stick one more day with her. On the other hand her anxious to know about my love story intrigued me. Till now I just know her name and scattered history about her not in detail. I opened my door. Things were same as I left the way in early morning. The curtains of window flapping under the effect of breeze blowing from outside. The beer bottle rolled on the floor to-and-fro. The bed laid untidy. I switched on the light to bright out and all laid the same as it was. I had no intentions of settling down after the tired hours of the day. I pulled my shirt out of my body sat on the edge of the bed. My face facing towards the flapping curtains. Hitched my step towards it. The cold air suspending openly thrashed over my bare body rushing in through the window as I got closer to it. The hotel had an access to sea view. I stood silent hearing the roars of waves breaking harshly. On the table a piece of paper laid on which I had written words for Anannya. That night was surely not going to resemble the night before. I reached my hand to open up the folded paper from the table. The words floated on my eyes, her name darkly written in bold letters. I whispered in chronic tone “Anannya” and my eyes sank down softly. Voice turned dumb, memories buried deep somewhere crippling hard to get over it. Yet, my heart forbidding me to clip her out of my life. That’s the intense sense of love evolved for her which she never realized to understand till today. On one side my love trauma on the other Isha who is so willing to be with me. It was 2:00am now. I was still awake. Things needed to be settled, as I got to catch the very first bus that moves out of Mumbai towards Pune. I walked off to lay down on my bed. Covered the window with those flapping curtains that slightly protected from extra effect of harsh air blowing wildly. Eyes did not listen to shut its lid, heart beat racing faster thinking about her and the pain of being broken severely holding me tight like the feel of suspended stretched muscles. Enduring the lifelong symptom of love and war, here I was a man of distinct perspective tonight laying blank out of sight. I folded my hands over my head clasped together gently placed my head on it substituting the use of pillow. My body laid stretched on bed, legs crossed on top of one. Eyes completely shaven off. Remembering about the day when I had my first sight at Anannya and now nurturing hard the time we elapsed together. There never used to be a day without her, every hour every seconds her voice into my heart but tonight it’s different from the rest of my life and here I’m wondering about my future. The inner instinct stopped to direct me where I should follow my path. For moment I thought I never meant to fall in Love again. It’s 3:00am now. Yet, left to go to sleep. But my ache forbade me for silent night. If my eyes mistakenly folds to rest ,I knew for sure it would not open for the rest ten hours which would definitely misguide me in my plan of going back. Feelings and emotions winded inside of me, some subjected to Isha whereas in most lost in the mist of sudden sorrow of missing someone that my heart really needed. Should I regret or move on the way, it’s going to placed a choice before me. Still denying to close the chapter I had with Anannya. Perhaps it’s the hardcore affection that induced when we were as one. But now those pieces of scars haunting from all corners. But what was that with Isha the whole day. Is it the new phrase of my life. I began to think in all directive way.