Gone By

by Hajong, Beatone

  Indeed it’s the session of New Year. That resort was opened recently few weeks back. So, very people knew about the location. To be honest I haven’t seen her so cheerful ever before, no matter every time I did showed her up every Sunday. But this was something more special into my life. Every moment of her breath she began to rejoice with happiness and the feeling of love did kept growing between us. She walked holding my hand.

  “What made you think to write letters to me” said Anannya.

  We were gearing up higher into the spot.

  “I don’t know I just thought it”.

  “It’s been very unique about you” she said breathing deeply.

  “ I believe we can keep these and convert them into forever memories in our life”.

  “Yes! I have a whole bundle of letters from you. I would love to show you someday”.

  “Oh! Dear you have been very kind to me” I replied.

  “I travel every end of the week to the Post Office thinking about the letter you would write to me. You’ve become the greater part of my life now” she said softly looking at my eyes.

  “And I would be a part in your life” I said holding her closer to my body.

  She gave a firm and kind look at me. Her excellent conduct had been impressing me every going day. We were finally at the top of the hill where the resort located. There were lots of empty bench available by the edge of the clip. We occupied and comforted ourselves. She sat by my side like every time we would be together. I held her very close to me. My hand ran over her shoulder and squeezed her into my arm. The morning yet to get matured. We were waiting to take the view of the rising sun between the hills.

  “Did you ever thought of doing something new after graduation” she uttered.

  “Yeah! I thought of trying my hand in writing”.

  “ Wow! That’s great, wonderful” she said in applauding tone.

  “Simultaneously I would do my Master. What about you”.

  “Well, I just want to be with you”.

  “The last time I talked about your Father, I was quiet impressed and thought of being an entrepreneur”.

  “So, you are very much into my Father business” She added.

  “I mean I got to get some ideas from him”.

  “Yeah! He’s a good business man as per I’m concerned” said Anannya.

  By then the Sun showed her face rising higher up into the sky through the spaces between the hills. The light began to glimmer all around the space.

  “It’s beautiful” Anannya muttered.

  We were under the rays of blooming light. It warmth us and gave us the soothing feeling of season of spring. We kept watching the rising sun above the horizon. Even the nature stood in silence , with the panoramic view we were sighting. I would remember that day all through my life’s Journey. Besides the every breath of my life was added with her. I was there to stay by her side which I had always wished. Achieving success became vital part in our life. In every moment we spent together we had talked about our future. Life was much more prettier than even before now. As we had come very close in completing our graduation. Yet, twelve months more to go until we would see ourselves as complete graduate. I always had a dream to go abroad for higher studies. Reasons were not much strong enough for me now to leave. As by my side I had Anannya. Neither I could make such strong decision until I was sure enough to do beyond which I had dreamt for. Anannya always told me I was a man of dream. Perhaps I don’t know how far was that true. I did believed her. We shuffled towards the other side of the sight scene.

  “Look at those birds” she said pointing finger at them.

  “It’s wonderful view” I added.

  After watching the memorable scene we walked to a coffee stall. Now, coffee had become a vital part of our life. Anytime we dated or were together coffee played a vital role under any condition. Indeed, I began to dislike the taste of caffeine gradually. It was the same for her too. I thought of changing the taste of our life. We settled ourselves occupying one table. Nothing was the taste of that morning. Momentarily I thought of ordering tea for both of us. Lemon tea with slight touch of ginger smell could be the best start for the morning.

  “I haven’t tasted tea for the last few years” uttered Anannya.

  “Really”.

  “Yeah!” she nodded.

  “It’s going to be the best start of the morning today”.

  “Why..Is it the tea?” she smiled.

  “I believe tea gives you better strength than coffee”.

  “Alright.. so you win” she muttered.

  I broke out into laugh. She was seated before my eyes. We were served with the lemon tea. I could see the hot flame fluting out of the cup. It’s aroma grabbed my nose and I couldn’t wait to take the sip.

  “Wow! It’s wonderful taste”.

  “Yeah! it’s catchy” she added.

  “You know I was told one story when I was young. How the people do plant tea plants up in the hills of Darjeeling”.

  “I would love to hear that. Moreover you were from there” said Anannya raising her eyebrow. “You know one funny thing believe it or not, I have stayed for more than six years in Darjeeling but I have never tasted tea over there”.

  “You mean you never tasted Darjeeling tea” Anannya was shocked to know.

  “No..I hardly had any interest in tasting tea”.

  “So, what made you interest today” her voice sounded very husky.

  “It’s you...you’re my interest” I added.

  “Alright I appreciate that...would you stop this tea conversation” she grinned.

  “Alright as you say so”.

  Gradually the place was crowded with people around. The day began to bloom more brighter as the time passed on.

  “Every time you sit before me, looking into you I realize how important you’re in my life” I said softly looking into her eyes.

  She was silent for a moment. Neither her eyes could blink but I could realize she had troubled inside her mind to speak what to say. I could sense she was deeply touched by that. But, my intention wasn’t to make her soft. All I could do was to speak the truth out of my heart.

  “I can understand how important I could be to you like you’re to me, Beatone. If you’d just vanish away out of my life I wouldn’t know where to begin or end my life” she said after a minute pause. “Every letters of yours you wrote had something to touch me. I don’t know how do you write such things”.

  “Are you appreciating me or mocking at my writing” she said giving a brief smile.

  “I do love your writing. Your every words touches my heart”.

  “Well, thanks for the little appreciation you made” she muttered before she took another sip of tea.

  We were still inside that small cafe stall.

  “So, I ‘m waiting for your next letter” she muttered.

  “Really..should I write it now”.

  She laughed “You kidding”. I added my smile.

  “But, you’re the best Man ever I had know”.

  “Give me your hand” I demanded.

  She lifted her arm and placed on my palm. I could feel her soft skin, her finger so delicate and smooth that whole of my life I would be there for her to hold her whenever she would fall.

  “I never knew I would meet an angel like you in course of my life and here you’re glimmering before my eyes like a dream come true”.

  “Awww! Dear...how sweet you’re. That honesty in your heart is the best part in you” she said gazing deep at me.

  I freed her hand out my palm. We were over with the cup of tea we had been drinking. Shuffled out of the cafe and walked back down the sloppy hills. It reminded me the time I had spent my school days in Darjeeling. Walking across the streets of hilly slopes holding an umbrella was a daily part of my life at that time. We were at certain heights. Though the day bloomed bright yet there were forecast of dark clouds hovering above the sky. So, the uncertainty of the weather never guaranteed for a clear
day. It began to drizzle. While we were walking down the hill towards the station. The little drops began to fall on us. We didn’t stop to add our steps.

  “Should we walk faster” said Anannya.

  “Alright”.

  We geared up ourselves and reached the spot as quickly as possible before we were completely wet. We had hired a cab to return back. Within hours we were back into mid heart of Pune city. I realized I had to return back to my own den. But, I had ample of time more to go. I have decided to be with her for whole lot a time. My world around began to reciprocate for all the things I had been doing. Never knew how to be romantic yet tried hard to show my chivalry that she deserved. I was never a person of such nature where romance would be my talent. But, love is all what I knew. That part of my knowledge was indeed strong enough to love the one whom I would give my heart. I have never been in so touch to anybody, unlike I had been with Anannya. Attaching to someone so close would give birth to a new thing that’s what I had been going through for the last few years. Who knew she would change me, which is why I could turned to see a new world for us. So, the rest of the day passed like the other Sunday I had spent with her. I returned back all over again back to my own den with a printed memories about the day on my mind.

  “So, as usual you wrote letter to her” Isha interrupted in the mid of my narration.

  “No, that night I called her back”.

  “So you avoided writing letter after that”.

  “No I posted her the next day”.

  “You continued to write her and she kept continuing to reply back”.

  “Yeah..that’s it”.

  “Cute love” she smiled with a glimpse at me.

  “What did you write to her” She was keen to listen to that.

  “Well, as usual nothing more than expressing my feelings”.

  “I would love to write that” Isha added her voice.

  “Well, I shall have to recall what I had written her that night”.

  “Sure”.

  I thought for some time and began to narrate her again which she kept scripting on my diary. Who knew life would reward me with rusted words. The last words of my life I had written out of my heart. But, in return nothing came back in its way. Instead I found myself lost into the lonely world. Never knew this could be my last letter even though I didn’t wanted but it did become my last letter to her. That night I had written deeply with all of my heart.

  Twenty Seven

  .............................

  Dear Anannya,

  How could I imagine a life without you. If I have anything in life its only you. You have been my world. Nothing matters me more than you. If you’re by my side I can face the world all alone. A strength, a ray of hope, a sign of inspiration of my life is you. We spent the Sunday beautifully. I still remember we had lots of discussions about tea. And it was a lovely tea we have tasted. Even the morning sunrise we sighted between mountains did floats on my eyes. And you were the queen of my life then. This letter I had written to you wanting you to know how important you have been all through my life, even though I come to show you up every Sunday. Remember you have told me you’d show me the bundles of letters collection I had written to you. I promise I would not stop writing to you. No matter where my life takes me. You know my drawer is almost full with your letters. I thought of converting them into beautiful piece of memory, a book of love.

  I would not love you for only now but for forever. I want to start with forever beginning. When the night goes empty I think about you, it makes me smile. I see beautiful dream for you. Moreover you know here we’ve got no better place where I could spent my loneliness in happily. It’s when I meet you on Sunday that becomes the best part of my life and I don’t want to miss that at anyway. My life is scattered here and I wonder every time with you by my side. An area where I have no beautiful sunrise, no huge buildings, no malls, no parks is my life stuck with. Where nature is not at all welcoming. Where the era of 1970 is still being followed that’s where I’m away from you. And every promise I made to tell you about my life here I would continue to write to you.

  Love,

  Beatone

  “O! God I don’t understand how have you been enduring the pain for so long. After reading this letter, to be honest, it did trembled my heart” said Isha.

  “Trembled your heart that amazed me”.

  “I mean to say it warmth my soul and profoundly I felt it very deep”.

  “I’m glad you felt it”.

  “So, did she wrote you back” Isha inquired.

  “I don’t know how would I say the remaining part” I gazed at the far deep stretching ocean.

  “Why anything wrong happened after that” she demanded to know.

  “Well, it ended with that”.

  “Are you serious” she squinted.

  “I’m not kidding”.

  “So, she didn’t write back to you anymore” said Isha.

  “No, she never wrote me back anymore”.

  Isha looked at me deeply. Her face turned fragile and soft. She looked very unsatisfied with the things I have told her. Indeed she expected something different in my story. However the story had to twist in which the course had to change. Isha stopped her breath for minutes and halted the pen to stopped writing.

  “So, she walked out of your life. Did she leave any reason behind to let you know” Isha asked. “No, she had just gone with no reason behind”.

  “I can understand you gave your heart for her, its’ tragedy of life” she added.

  “Just imagine I’ve been in love with her so deep and suddenly she walked out of my life leaving behind no reason how would I be feeling” my voice dimmed down.

  I stood upright and walked towards the edge of the shore closer. Took few steps away from Isha, I stood watching at the deep stretching ocean far beyond the horizon. Isha followed me behind few seconds later.

  “I can understand how you must be feeling but it’s the trend of life Beatone. You got to be strong enough to live a life” Isha said.

  She stood behind me. I turned on to face her. Placed my hand on her shoulder.

  “I know Isha you have always been very supportive to me”.

  “Look, when you’re strong enough to say goodbye life will reward you with new Hello” Isha added.

  “Alright” I shrugged.

  “I want you to see smile again” said Isha.

  “Let’s walk back to our place” I asked her.

  I curled my hand above her shoulder and walked back to the same place.

  “So, what did happened later” she asked me.

  She had the pen and the dairy all over again in her hand. For moment I said nothing but passed her a brief smile which was indeed a fake I delivered.

  “Do you want to know the rest”.

  “Of Course that’s what I’m here for” Isha added.

  I began to narrate her again. I was seated again at the same place, she was just next to me. I wasn’t bored to narrate her because she was the only one who was so keen to know everything about my life. Moreover for the past fifteen days I had been spending my days only with her. Indeed we grew more closer to each other. I felt I knew her since ages. She began to script everything that came out of my mouth.

  Since the time I had posted Anannya the last letter, I haven’t received any from her. I waited for days and nights. Days turned into months but nothing appeared right on my ways. I had tried contacting her with phone, messages. But, there were no answers from the other side. My Sunday visit to her were cut down. I had stopped visiting her since the last letter I had posted her. I could still remember the very moment I had posted her I did tried to make a call to her. There were no response from her. Neither she did replied to my messages. Yes, there was only one short message I could remember which she had delivered to me. She had requested me not to come the next Sunday but gave no reason behind that. I tried to know over and over again yet I couldn’t able to know from her. My days turned dark
before my eyes and I couldn’t imagine how could she do that to me. It turned me silent and numb. My days were buried underneath the earth surface, even the nights began to chase me as the dark shadow of evil. Days passed on which turned into months.

  It’s been almost a six months I had no news of her neither I had the strength to concern about. It did pressed my inner subconscious very hard, although I couldn’t stopped thinking about her but with the passage of time I had lost the real reason to concern about her. I had almost spent six months without her notice. Neither she cared about my life nor the love we had between each other. It was one day when a letter was posted into my door. I had collected the letter from the postmaster’s hand. He had come to deliver to my residence. I didn’t knew from where did the letter had come from. Since the time Anannya had stopped writing to me I had no letter from anyone else. It’s been after six months I had received an envelope with letter in it. I tore up the envelope and sat on my study table and began to read in the dim light.

  Dear Beatone,

  I’m writing this letter sitting on my study table, and I’m struggling hard because I don’t know how to say what I’m about to tell you. Part of me wishes that you were here so that I could do in person, but we both know that’s impossible. So here I’m groping for words with tears on my cheeks and hoping that you’ll somehow forgive me for what I’m about to write. I know this is terrible time for you. You and I shared something wonderful, and I never want you to forget that. Nor do I want you to believe that you didn’t mean as much to me as I did to you. You’re rare and beautiful, Beatone. I fell in love with you but more than that you made me realize what true love really means.