Burnout

by Taryn Eason

  We finished our food, so he decided to take me out for an official first date. After asking “are you sure you don't mind being seen with me?” At least three times, of course.

  I didn't mind being seen with him at all. In fact, he had been my favorite person to be around since I got my powers. He made me feel like so much less of a freak. He should be ashamed to be seen with me, to be honest.

  We returned back to the house and settled onto the couch, with me still laughing at an inside joke we had developed during the movie we saw at the theater.

  I checked my phone for the first time all day and noticed I had a missed call from Delilah. I decided to call back while Lye was at the kitchen table working on a concept for someone’s tattoo.

  She answered with a groggy “Hello?” Then she perked up. “Oh, hey Belle! Sorry! It's like four in the morning over here in France. Yeah, I got here yesterday. Hey, listen, I'm coming back in a week for two days and I really wanted to go meet the Lakinobes. I feel like we should go together, you know?”

  I could see this going far better for her than me. But, that's just because last time ended with Lye getting high and causing me to have a panic attack. So hopefully this time will go better. I pressed the mute button on my phone.

  “Hey, Lye? Wanna go visit your parents with Delilah next week?”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Are you serious?”

  I nodded.

  “Do you want to go?”

  “She's going to hound us until we do, so we might as well get it over with.”

  “Okay. Let's do it then.”

  I put the phone back up to my ear. “Sounds good. Lye and I will meet you there.”

  I listened to her gush about her plans. Her documentary had already started to be advertised on tv, so her success was pretty much set it stone at this point. I had to delete my facebook from the onslaught of reporters and desperate people who all insisted on messaging me. There's nothing like waking up to 600 sob stories a day from people with sick relatives (and a few pets).

  By the time I hung up the phone, I was already tired. I went into my bathroom to take a shower. As I washed myself, I wondered idly whose bed I would sleep in tonight. There isn't really a step-by-step guidebook to go by for when you start hooking up with your roommate.

  I put on my pajamas and brushed my teeth. Once I finished, I decided to go tell Lye good night. He was in his bathroom drying his hair.

  He noticed me and turned the dryer off. He hadn't put a shirt on yet and I could see his tattoos perfectly accentuating his muscular figure. I didn't say anything, I just walked up and put my arms around his waist and kissed him gently. He dropped the dryer and held me tightly, kissing me back harder. I could never get tired of that. I fell happily onto his bed, and he soon followed. It was a fitting end to such a good day.

  The next morning while Lye was at work, I drove around town picking up job applications. I wasn't helping with bills or really anything and it made me feel absolutely useless. He came home for his lunch break and saw the stack of them sprawled out across the dining room table.

  “What are all of these for?” He asked, picking up one of them.

  “I need a job. I'm not helping with food or rent and I can't stand it.”

  He laughed. “I don't need you to help with that. It's fine. Just find a hobby or something.”

  “No, I can't just sit around the house all day. I want to do something productive. Anything, really.”

  He looked over my shoulder at the application I was currently working on. “McDonalds? Really? Maybelle, you can't work at McDonalds.”

  “Why not? It's a job.” I glared at him.

  “Oh, I know. I meant you can't work at McDonalds. Have you seen how stressful it gets in there? How rude the customers are? The fries won't be the only things getting burned. You'd absolutely hate it.”

  “What makes you think I can't control myself that much? I'll have you know I've gotten a lot better at that.” I folded my arms.

  “I know, I just really think it's kind of self-torture for you to work there, since you don't need the money for anything.”

  “But I want some money for myself. I don't want to keep mooching off of you like I'm doing now.”

  “What if I paid you weekly? Like an allowance or something? People do that, you know.”

  “Are you kidding me? I'm not getting paid to be with you! Why are you so against me getting a job?” I was getting angry.

  “I'm not against it. I think it's a great idea. I just know you wouldn't be happy with any of those jobs. Just trust me and I'll get you a job you actually like doing. But in the meantime, let me give you some money just so you feel comfortable. Is that okay?”

  “I can't keep costing you money to keep me here. I get that things are different now, but we were roommates first and I just want to be able to help with bills.”

  He laughed. “You're so cute. You keep saying that you want to help me with money. Do you know how much I'm actually worth?”

  I really didn't. I never wanted to pry, but I was very eager to know.

  “I have around thirteen mil in the bank right now.” He stated confidently, “Most of it is tied up in businesses and other things I invest in, so I just live comfortably off the interest.”

  I was dumbfounded. “How… How the hell did you get so much money?”

  “Do you want the truth or what the IRS thinks? Because in the Glitch I made a friend who sent paperwork saying I inherited money from my grandfather when he passed. Since he was Native American, it was so much easier to say he was never a documented citizen. The IRS doesn't ask too many questions as long as you pay their inheritance taxes.” He smiled, “But it's all from my time with the Glitch. Those trips to South America earned me around $3 mil each.”

  I stared at him. He was a genius. How did I never realize that? The house and the old car was the perfect cover so that no one near would ask questions and learn too much. “Why did you never tell me that you were loaded?”

  “I know it seems redundant at this point, but I wanted you to like me for me, and not my money.”

  “Lye, I liked you when I thought that Camaro and this house was all you had. I don't care about money, but I never pictured you as a businessman.”

  He laughed. “I didn't either, but I’m good at it, so I just roll with it. Ever since I was a kid, I've dreamed of being rich. I told myself that if I could afford a luxury car one day, my life would be complete. Now my Audi sits in a storage facility pretty much all the time. But I do like my old Camaro. The paint is chipped, but I put a hot motor into it. It runs great.”

  “It still probably couldn't beat my Jaguar.” I joked.

  “Probably not.” He looked down at his phone. “Hey, just a second. Let me make a call before I forget.”

  He excused himself. It sounded like he was ordering something from what I could hear. He hung up the phone and kissed me goodbye, apologizing that he had to go back to work.

  I trashed the applications. I had assumed he was just being nice when he said he wasn't interested in my paying rent. I had no idea he was sitting on a nest egg the size of the Titanic.

  Around an hour later, there was a knock on the door. It was a scruffy looking guy in a blue jumpsuit. “Hey, miss, we got an order for a Liz-andre Adair?” He struggled with the pronunciation of his name.

  “Okay?” I replied. I looked outside and there was a flatbed truck with the rusted shell of an older truck on the back.

  “He asked us to put it in the back yard, so we’ll set it there and then we’ll be gone. Thank you ma'am.”

  I nodded. He went back to the truck and began backing it up to unload as I quickly dialed the tattoo shop’s number.

  “Lye? What the hell are you having these guys deliver?”

  “I told you I'd find you something to do.” I could hear the tattoo gun buzzing in the background.

  “I don’t get it. There's a giant rusty truck in the backyard. Why would you buy that thing?�
�

  “Old trucks are made of metal. I've seen that you like metal work on a smaller scale by all those soda cans you play with. You should make something out of it. I feel like using your powers in your art will be really good for you.”

  I began to speak, but paused. Who knew a rusty old truck could be such a thoughtful gift? My brain buzzed with possibilities as my emotions changed. “That… is so sweet. I can't believe you thought of something for me to do that fast.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it, babe. You can thank me tonight if you really want to.” He joked.

  I laughed. I couldn't imagine anyone who would be a better match for me than he was. I couldn't want for him to get home so I could prove how appreciative I was of him.

  Next, to get to work on my project. I scraped off whatever loose rust that I could from the truck and began heating the rest to shape it. I had a vision in my head of making two connecting lotus flowers out of the cab and the bed. It would take a while, but thankfully, spare time was all I had.

  I spent the entirety of the next two days working on the flowers. It became almost an obsession. Lye was ecstatic to see me so enthralled with it and was already planning on buying me more scrap cars for when I'm finished.

  I was shaping a leaf when I heard the front door slam. It was far too early for Lye to be home from the shop. I walked inside, seeing Lye sweeping papers off of the table onto the floor. “Did something happen today?” I asked.

  “Damn it! I can't even work at all anymore! I guess I'll just have to take the next few days off.” He sat at the table and put his head in his hands.

  “What's wrong?” I asked, keeping my distance. I hadn't seen him this angry since we had been together and it terrified me.

  “These damn withdrawals have got me shaking so bad I can't even hold my gun straight so I had to come home. This is awful. I can't even think.”

  I had been ignoring the subject of his drug use. I knew it was a terrible method long term, but ‘out of sight, out of mind’ had been working well so far. I had noticed him shaking more and stuttering his words, but I had still hoped he had found a healthy way to quit. “Lye, how long has it been?”

  He looked up at me. “I haven't had anything since the morning of the day we got together. I just can't do it anymore. I care about you too much to choose it over you.”

  He seemed awful. “Lye, this isn't something that you can give up cold turkey. I appreciate you trying so hard for me, but you could actually kill yourself by doing this.”

  “So what am I supposed to do then? I can't risk using it again and not being able to stop. I just can't. I'm doing so well right now and I'm not risking losing you by going back to it.”

  I walked closer to him. I wanted to give him a hug and reassure him, but I still feared for my own safety with him in this state, so I stayed at a safe arm’s length. “You won't lose me, though. This is a process. It's not going to be an overnight thing. I can't stand to see you like this. Just do what you have to do to feel better right now, okay?” I steadied my hands from heating up.

  He stood up. “How can you even say that? I'm trying so hard to get clean and you're telling me to use again! Why would you do something like that? I thought you cared about me.”

  My eyes welled up. “I do! I'm trying to keep you alive!”

  “And I'm trying to get better for you! Do you even know-” He pointed his finger at me, making me flinch and my body flare up.

  It snapped him out of his daze. The expression in his eyes turned to sadness. “Did you think I was going to hit you?”

  A tear sizzled down my cheek. “I don't know.” I said, breathing uneasy.

  “Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I never meant to scare you like that. I'm just having a hard time dealing with this. I shouldn't have come home until I calmed down.” He hugged me tightly.

  “Lye, no, I’m still too hot.” I protested, knowing I was burning him.

  “I don't care. I need you to know that I'd never hurt you, alright? When we first met, that was a fluke. I didn't even know you then and I've tried my hardest to make it up to you ever since. Every morning that I wake up next to you I think about that night and how badly I screwed up. I don't want you to be afraid of me.” He loosened his grip and looked down at his burned arms. “Hell, you shouldn't be afraid of anyone, fire princess.”

  I smiled. “Just promise me you'll be safe, okay.”

  He agreed. I looked down at his burn scar on the hand that I had previously given him. His hand was still shaking. “Okay. I'm going to use today, but no more after that. At least I hope.”

  I hugged him back tightly, tears slipping down my cheeks as I watched him go into the bathroom, badly wishing that we could be finished with this whole thing.

  I woke up the next morning on Lye’s chest and rolled over. He sleepily followed and held me. I smiled, then I felt his arm shake. It was subtle, but noticeable. A feeling of dread came over me. Why did the withdrawals have to come so fast? I wished I could ignore his drug problem and it would go away, but I knew that's not how that worked. I’d never seen a functioning heroin addict before I met Lye, but I knew there was a fine line between “functioning” and “failing” and every addict crosses it sooner or later. I just didn't want to see him hurt himself.

  I remembered the first time I noticed his twitching. He told me that he had Tourette’s. I was actually thankful that he didn't tell the truth, because there was no way I would have held any contact with him after that point. Now, after knowing him, I was willing to fight for him. He wanted to be clean and I was prepared to do anything to make that possible. I just wished I could flip a switch and cure his addiction.

  Then I remembered my sister. She was coming over in a few days and she could cure him. He wouldn't have to worry about withdrawals or anything like that.

  “Hey Lye. Get up!” I excitedly shook him.

  “What?” He replied, unamused at my waking him up at 7 am.

  “Delilah can save you!”

  He squinted his eyebrows. “How?”

  “She can cure your addiction.” I was frustrated that he wasn't putting it together like I was.

  “I don't think it works like that Maybelle. Addiction isn't something like cancer or the flu. It's a different kind of illness. A kind that I don't think she can help me with.”

  “We won't know unless we try. I just want you to be healthy.”

  “On the off chance that she can cure me, sure, I'd be grateful. But what if it doesn't work and then your sister knows I'm a heroin addict. She doesn't seem like the type who would be accepting of that sort of thing.”

  “Is anyone? Just please let me ask her.” I begged.

  He pulled me close. “Thank you for trying to help me, but please let me deal with this on my own. This way is working for me, and I don't need anyone else knowing about it. Okay?”

  I frowned. “Okay.”

  He began to get dressed for work and I laid in bed for a bit longer before heading outside to put the finishing touches on my work.

  I finally finished later that day. I loved the result. There was a bigger lotus flower connected to a smaller one, the color of rust. I wanted to preserve the original color because I thought it made it unique.

  Lye surprised me by hiring someone with a small crane to lift it onto a platform so it could be displayed in our front yard that evening. I was so proud of it.

  All I had left to do was focusing on packing for the trip to Illinois. With Delilah at our side, I had no idea how this would go.

  Chapter 20

  The drive was exhausting. We took Lye’s Audi because I finally convinced him that it needed to be driven more than once every few months. Plus, I wanted to ride inside it in the daylight. We were on our way to meet Delilah and then head into the reservation.

  “Maybelle, can I ask a favor?” Lye said, his eyes still on the road.

  “Yeah, of course.”

  “Don't let my family know we’re together. I want them to lik
e you. They don't know about half of the things I've done, but they still know I'm a bad influence. If they know about us, their perception of you will change too, and that's the last thing that I want.”

  I sighed. I didn't like lying to his family, but after my last experience with them, I knew he was right. “Alright. But we’re staying in a hotel room again this time, right?” The thought of sleeping separately at this point was a sacrifice I didn't want to make.

  He smiled. “Yeah. Please don't burn me and kick me out this time.”

  I laughed. “Don't do anything stupid and you’ll be fine.”

  We met with Delilah and decided it was best for appearances for me to ride with her the rest of the way.

  She was so excited to tell me about all the places she had visited since we last spoke. I thought about asking why she didn't defend me the last night we were together, but I decided against it to preserve the peace.

  I looked back at the black SUV that was following us. “Does your security team really have to follow you everywhere?”

  “Yeah, I like them to. It makes me feel safer that way. After all, the only one I can't heal is myself.”

  I hadn't thought about that. I guess it made sense though, seeing as I can't burn myself.

  I changed the subject. “Hey, please be normal today. I don't want you asking them if they live in tepees like you did to Lye. I want them to like us.”

  “Oh yeah, I feel bad about that. I should have known it was an outdated question. I realized it when I visited Africa and saw that they actually have cities. Did you know that? I didn't. I just assumed it was all wilderness and tribes.”

  I rolled my eyes. She was so booksmart that it had stunted her common sense. It was going to be a long trip.

  “I'm really glad, by the way, that you moved in with Lye. It's good that you have someone from the Lakinobes who understands you to take care of you.”

  I smiled. “Thanks, sis. He's honestly been amazing with everything.”