My Date From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy Book Two)

by Tellulah Darling

  I pushed my insecurity aside. It made me happy to see Hannah in her element. “Who knows, maybe Jack will have a pet Komodo for you to examine.”

  Hannah shook her head at me sadly. “Really? In Thailand? You’re thinking of a water monitor.”

  I stood corrected.

  Festos grinned at Kai and I saucily. “Now that you kids did that voodoo that you do so well and broke the power illusion, we can traipse on over to Hermes’. Because uncle Festos is parched and would love a cool drink. I am not a camel. I require frequent topping up.”

  I motioned to the tiger. “Still need to lose Rory here.”

  Hannah batted her eyelashes at me. “You named her? Does that mean we can keep her?” Her eyes widened. “Whoa, what are you doing?”

  Kai waved her off as he snaked his way toward the tiger. “She’s good. Aren’t you, girl?”

  The tiger ducked her head. Almost coy.

  “Don’t fall for his charm, my feline sister.” I took a step toward them and Rory roared full-blast at me.

  “She doesn’t like the competition,” Hannah explained.

  “Yeah, thanks. I got that.”

  Kai shot me his trademark arrogant grin, then knelt down beside the tiger.

  Rory presented her head to be petted. He scratched her ears, glancing back at me with his smirk intact.

  I rolled my eyes. It was good to remember how much I wanted to smack him sometimes. Kept everything in perspective.

  The cat rolled over and showed her belly, rolling slightly from side to side. Kai rubbed it and she began purring so loudly we could feel the vibrations from where we stood. “She makes the same sounds as you,” he teased.

  Theo stiffened—but at a look from Festos—kept silent.

  I rolled my eyes. “In your dreams.”

  “Often,” he replied.

  “Standing right here being brain damaged with the TMI,” Hannah intervened.

  Not that I would give Kai the satisfaction but, “You gotta admit, that’s pretty swoon-inducing,” I murmured to Hannah, watching Kai and Rory playfully tussling.

  “I wonder if Pierce has any animal friends,” she whispered back, head cocked, fascinated.

  I placed my hand on her shoulder. “We gotta stop. We’re about ten seconds away from a kink there’ll be no coming back from.” But I allowed myself another few moments of indulgence, watching Kai play with the deadly tiger. Seriously, how was any other guy supposed to compete?

  Kai looked up at me and smiled slowly, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

  There was no way he could be in my head. But just in case, I thought some choice phrases at him.

  He laughed, likely at my scowl and not because of any psychic abilities on his part, then rose and gave Rory a final pat. He motioned for her to go away. To my amazement, the tiger scampered off into the trees. “Impressive, yes?”

  “Somewhat,” I conceded.

  Kai held out his hand to me. “Now that the beast is gone, we can head to Hermes’ place.”

  Hannah, Theo, and Festos took off in the direction of Jack’s house.

  I did too, grasping Kai’s hand as I passed.

  He ran his fingers lightly over my belly. “It’s much more fun tussling with a goddess,” he murmured.

  Eyes narrowed, I shot him a considering sideways glance. Kai had no problem with the physical part of us. Okay, neither did I. But I wanted to know that I wasn’t totally deluded about what I’d felt between us moments ago.

  I’m mostly positive I would have had the guts to broach the subject had Hannah not rejoined us. “I swear, first chance I get, I will hold you hostage to my unfettered PDA and make your life a misery,” she promised me.

  I threw her a cocky smile. “What? We were discussing strategy.”

  “Nice try.” She took hold of my other hand and yanked me with her. Kai didn’t let go so we were essentially a train heading across the ridge of the mountain.

  “Pow-pow-pow-plant powers at optimum again?” she asked me, ducking under a low tree branch. “Ooh, look! A rosary pea. Super poisonous,” she enthused.

  I glanced at the the leafy fronds and bright red small berries on the plant. “It appears to be choking the life out of that poor teak tree.”

  Hannah grinned at me. “I love all your botany knowledge. You’re such a nerd now. So, your powers?”

  I laughed. “Yeah. Guess my sheer terror was enough to short circuit whatever illusion Jack had cast. But ‘plant powers’ is a terrible name. Whaddya think of my ‘blooming hells?’” I jumped over a fallen, half-rotted log.

  “Because you rain foliage down on their asses?” Kai asked in a strangled voice.

  “I’ll keep working on it,” I muttered. “Get any useful data from the boys?” I asked Hannah.

  She frowned. “The more I learn, the more complicated the decision becomes.”

  “You’ll get there, Sparky.”

  When we reached Jack’s house, I fully expected there to be one last trap we’d have to navigate through.

  Instead, the host himself greeted us. Jack was a a paunchy, middle-aged, bald guy with intelligent brown eyes. He wore a light green linen short-sleeved shirt with slightly darker linen pants. He eyed Kai and me, still hanging on to each other. “So, you’re Kyrillos’ latest piece of—”

  “Watch it,” Kai growled.

  “Work,” Jack finished up.

  I put on my best no-nonsense voice. “We’re here to talk about—”

  Jack took a step closer to me. “Whatever it is, how about we discuss it over dinner? You’re a little young for me, but I bet you’ve got a very fine looking mother. You could tell me all about her.”

  I shuddered at how much Felicia would salivate to meet this guy. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

  “Eh. Her loss. Okay kidlings, run along. Daddy’s got important business to attend to.” He pivoted and walked into his house.

  I shot Kai an incredulous glance.

  “I vote for fry him,” Festos said.

  “We can’t just go in blasting,” I protested.

  The guys looked between themselves in a “works for me” consensus.

  It actually worked for me, too, but I didn’t believe it was the best way to handle Jack. “Much as I hate him and would love to pulverize his butt, he’s Hermes. God of Tricksters. He’s screwed with us enough today. We need to be smart about this.”

  “Ohmigod,” Hannah said, “I’ve dreamed of this moment. Sophie wants to be smart!” She clasped her hands to her heart, dramatically.

  “Ha. Ha. Seriously. We know Jack likes his games and illusions. So we need to stay aware.”

  Kai nodded impatiently. “And shoot anything that gets in the way.”

  “The best plans are the simplest ones,” Festos agreed.

  “No. I don’t want to antagonize him right off the bat. I want to get this done with already. Kai, come with me. The rest of you, wait here.”

  They didn’t want to, but they stayed put as Kai and I headed inside. I gave a low whistle. We were in an enormous living room, open on one end to the outdoors with a stunning view of the water far below. The ceilings were ornately carved teak, rising sharply to a point in the middle.

  The furniture was simple and expensive. Gauzy curtains fluttered along the open wall. A chess board, with gorgeous hand-carved pieces, a game in mid-play, sat on a low teak coffee table. Probably explained where Jack’s reality hit Endgame had come from.

  Jack ignored us as he poured himself a drink at a curved bar lined with pristine bottles sporting high-priced labels.

  I shot a sideways glance at Kai, wondering how he wanted to proceed. He lounged against a corner of one of Jack’s sofas, my hand still in his. He was seemingly relaxed and without a care in the world. As long as you didn’t look past his smile to his eyes. His look of dangerous intent made the hairs on my arm stand up.

  Even Jack, who as Hermes had to be more powerful than Kai and me, hesitated when he caught sight of that look. Then he wav
ed his hand in a “get outta here” motion.

  “I really think you should hear Sophie out,” Kai said. Totally calm. Totally in control.

  Jack swung his gaze back to me, taking in my hand clasped firmly in Kai’s, “I get the whole teen hormone thing but give it a rest for five minutes.”

  “We can’t,” I said. “Aphrodite.”

  I didn’t have to explain what that meant. Jack started laughing. “You poor suckers,” he chortled. “You are screwed.”

  “Not yet,” Kai said.

  “For shame, Kyrillos,” Jack said. “She’s a child.”

  “She’s Persephone,” Kai clarified.

  “And sixteen,” I piped up. “I’m sixteen and Persephone. So no screwing.”

  Kai shot me a disbelieving look.

  I smacked him with my free hand, resisting the urge to hurt myself for inflicting the slightest pain upon the object of my affection. How messed was that?

  “Desire is part of romantic love.” He parroted Aphrodite’s words back at me.

  “Then we’ll deal with it on the equinox, if we’re actually in love.”

  “Pagan wantonness. This gets better and better,” Jack said, dropping onto one of the sofas. “Still don’t see why you’re here.”

  “Bethany,” I said, forcing myself to step away from Kai.

  Jack beamed. “My cash cow. That girl is going to make me billions.”

  “That cash cow is an evil asshat with magically enhanced popularity,” I protested.

  “Of course she is. How else do you think all of this could have happened so fast? The second she contacted me thinking she’d use me to make her famous? Cha-ching! Goldmine. I was delighted to let her believe she had the upper hand.”

  He took a swig of his drink and gestured with the glass as he spoke. “All I have to do is put her on camera and let the people fall under her spell. I’ll make a mint for doing nothing more than exposing Bethany’s own magic to the world.”

  Jack held the glass up to me in a salute. “All thanks to you for getting her mixed up with that cockamamie dragon in the first place. Not to mention, since you so nicely disposed of Delphyne, there’s no one around to undo it.”

  “I could just blast her arm off. No tattoo, no abilities.”

  “You could,” he said mildly. “But I doubt you will. Savior of humanity and all that.”

  “Try me,” I growled, gripping the top of a plush chair to keep from lunging at him. “If the alternative is to let Bethany spread her idiotic and dangerous philosophy to kids desperate for approval? Yeah. I’ll do it.”

  Jack’s brow furrowed. “Persephone wouldn’t have bothered herself with this.”

  “Sophie is much more than just Persephone,” Kai said, with a fond smile.

  Melty, melty meltiness.

  “Aphrodite wants you to kill Bethany’s campaign,” I said.

  Jack laughed outright at me.

  I decided to try the old “catch more flies with honey” technique. “Please. If you do it, I’ll be able to get my Persephone memories back and stop Zeus and Hades.”

  “And I should care why?”

  I forced my fists to unclench, willing myself to stay calm and keep my voice steady. “Because without humans, you don’t get to play media mogul.”

  “Fair enough.” Jack swirled his drink around, the ice cubes tinkling softly. “Ready to take over the world, are you? Up to the job? And sit down already. You’re giving me a crick.”

  Kai and I took a seat across from Jack on a low settee. “I don’t want to take over. I just want to save humanity from all the stupidity. Save my friends.” I gave him a winning smile. “Help me get Persephone’s memories back and I’ll be good to go.”

  Jack shot me a sardonic smirk. “Ah, but I didn’t ask if Persephone was up to the job. That’s a given. I asked if you were, Sophie.” He tossed back a slug of alcohol and regarded me over the rim of his glass.

  I was speechless.

  Kai shifted, but before he could move another inch, Jack turned a commanding look on him. “My house. My questions. Down, Kyrillos.”

  Kai remained where he was, but I could feel the tension thrumming through him.

  “You got me about wanting to play mogul,” Jack said, “so you’re not completely stupid. I do like humans. And if you’re going to be the one to save them, I’d like to know what exactly you are bringing to the table. Or have I hit a nerve?”

  He knew he had. But I still had an honest answer for him. “I’m the one driving this train. It’s my experience, my intelligence, my emotions that have gotten me this far. Yeah, I have her goddess powers, but you know what I’ve got that she doesn’t?”

  Jack leaned forward, waiting to hear my answer. Even Kai watched me expectantly.

  “My humanity. And I’m not going to let my people down. So kill the damn campaign, Jack.”

  I sat back, proud of myself but trying not to visibly shake with nerves.

  Kai gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

  Jack tilted his head, as if reassessing his opinion of me. He leaned forward and tugged the chess board closer. “Do you play?”

  Theo was the chess fanatic; I just knew the basics. “Not really.”

  Jack surveyed the board a moment. “I’ll make you a deal.” He picked up the white queen, fingering the piece idly.

  I had a sinking feeling he was about to challenge me to a match. “Yeah. I’m going to trust the God of Tricksters.”

  Jack laughed. “Good point. I swear on the majesty of the Styx. That’s binding.”

  I glanced at Kai for confirmation, who nodded.

  “I’ll kill Bethany’s campaign if you play for it and win. Our own private version of Endgame.” Jack turned a cruel glare on us, the queen clutched in his hand. “If I have to sacrifice, you all do too. One time offer. Take it or leave it.”

  I glanced at Kai, who gave me a tiny nod. But he didn’t look happy about it.

  I wasn’t either, but it didn’t seem like we had a choice. “Deal,” I said to Jack.

  “Wonderful.” He replaced the queen on the board. “Let’s bring your friends in.”

  I’d seen the show before so I thought I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting us all into.

  Cue creepy game show music and think again.

  Goosebumps broke out over my body as the opening trumpet music played and we found ourselves in a funhouse version of the Endgame set.

  Usually, contestants found themselves dressed in costumes corresponding to the white pieces. As they headed across a massive black and white chessboard, a square would occasionally rise up, revealing a door. Players would step through and then via the miracle of editing, find themselves on another set where they would battle the “pieces” (actors) of the black team in various challenges.

  They had to make it through all the rounds successfully in order to cross the board and put the black king into checkmate.

  Got it? Now throw that image out. Have you ever seen a drawing by that artist Escher? The guy that does those crazy twisty staircases? Get into that vibe. Imagine a palace where corridors had been cut up and stacked on top of each other, stretching up into infinity.

  The five of us were at the bottom of this madness. To our right was a marble archway with a set of stairs leading up to another archway and two staircases branching off in either direction. One of which, it looked like looped back on itself.

  To our left was a shorter staircase without an arch. The stairs led to a small landing. From there was another small staircase, and another landing. Continue up to infinity.

  Occasionally, the corridors would connect with a straight hallway, lined with small arches.

  Everything—floors, walls, stairs—was tiled in alternating black and white marble squares. The whole effect was dizzying and impossible and maddening. Tension cramped my gut. If the set was this insane, then the challenges were going to blow our minds.

  And possibly kill us.

  Way up at the top was a single
gold door with a large black crown painted on it. I was betting that was the final way out, but I had no clue how we could possibly reach it. It looked like it would take days to get up there. If we didn’t get lost and die of starvation first.

  “Should have had a plan for the ‘twisted mogul with penchant for trashy reality shows’ part,” Festos whispered to me.

  That’s when I noticed that his normal clothes had been replaced with a red tunic that hit mid-thigh, a white horse’s head embroidered on it. The chess piece of the knight. He was barefoot.

  I glanced down at myself. Same deal, except where Festos had fitted short sleeves, mine were butterfly and slightly longer. Wish I could have said the same for my shirt. I mean, dress. While it was a pretty green, it was slutasticly short. Any less of it and it would have been a belt. “Nice Chitons you guys wore,” I hissed back.

  “As if.”

  I realized that I had a white chess piece on my tunic as well. A pawn. How excellent to know Jack thought so highly of me.

  Theo tugged at his brown tunic with one hand, his chain gripped tightly in the other, and frowned. His outfit sported a white bishop. Hopefully, his passion for chess would be an advantage for us, strategy-wise.

  Not that I was eager to see how Kai was decked out or anything, but thought I should check and see if he was okay. A sly glance over my shoulder confirmed that yes, he looked quite fine in his purple tunic. He filled out what little of it there was very nicely. Like seriously.

  And, shocker of shockers, he was the white king.

  I turned to Hannah for appropriate snarky commentary, then panicked.

  There was no Hannah.

  The music ended with a big swell of horns. The space fell eerily silent.

  Jack appeared in front of us dressed in a golden robe, the image of his black king piece taking up much of his torso. “Welcome to Endgame,” he boomed. The echo was impressive.

  “Where’s Hannah, you bastard?” I asked, straining toward him and finding myself stuck in place.

  I shot a furious glance over my shoulder at where Kai held me. My glower increased. His iron grip went nowhere.

  Jack ignored the entire outburst. “Let’s meet Team White.”

  He obviously wasn’t going to deviate from his show’s stupid script.