My Date From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy Book Two)

by Tellulah Darling

  Okay. That was it.

  I stepped forward, wrapped one arm around Kai (again, the Aphrodite thing, not personal choice), sent out a vine, and said, “Back. Off.” Artemis was fully enveloped in green death before I’d even finished speaking.

  All I could think was how much I wanted her dead. It was a cold, rational conviction and I focused in on her with singleminded ill will.

  She began to spin.

  “Uh-oh,” Festos muttered.

  Kai jogged my arm. Artemis stopped spinning, but fell to the ground where she struggled in my light, sadly intact and alive but with at least with a few new wrinkles courtesy of my aging-up powers. “Vines down, Goddess. No deicide today.”

  I whirled on that traitor, teeth bared.

  Kai shook me. “Sophie. It’s the arrow. Snap out of it.” I fought him, still wanting her gone. There was a tiny part of me watching this irrational rage with a curious detachment, but no part of me tried to stop it.

  SMACK! For the second time in our acquaintance, Festos had slapped me across the face.

  It worked, bringing me back to my senses.

  But before I could say so, Kai had his hand wrapped around Festos’ throat.

  “Kai!” I tugged on his arm. “I’m fine. Let him go.”

  Kai forced his hand open and Festos slumped back. “Sorry,” Kai said.

  Festos waved him off, checking for bruises. “My bad. Should have remembered. Arrow makes people crazy.”

  Theo had been battling Apollo, and pretty effectively, but the battle had turned. Before the Sun God could do any irreparable damage to my friend, Kai blasted his light, taking out a section of the castle floor and sending Apollo down into the cavernous hole.

  I put my hands on my hips, trying to hide my humiliation with attitude. “Why do you get all the fun?”

  “You’re not really missing out.” Kai rolled Artemis face down on the floor, his foot on her back, all while I still held on to him. He flicked his head. Festos and Theo understood it to mean “move out of the way.”

  Festos took over from Kai, holding Artemis down with the tip of his cane. “One move and you’ll be intimately acquainted with the phrase ‘burn, baby, burn.’”

  Apollo climbed back on to the castle wall.

  Theo tugged me off Kai, who went up against Apollo.

  The fight didn’t last long. Apollo had taken a hard fall and enough previous hits that he was now severely weakened. There was no longer a contest between Kai’s agility, strength, and speed, and Apollo’s.

  Kai again chose not to disintegrate Apollo with his black light, instead cold-cocking him with a right cross that made the god’s head snap back so hard, I thought it might break off.

  Apollo slumped to the ground.

  Festos stepped back from Artemis. Neither she nor her brother were going anywhere. “And our work here is done.”

  “This way,” Theo called, having found a door set into the castle wall. “Back to the board.”

  We stepped through the door and found ourselves in front of Jack, now on the left side of the hallway, on a landing that was high enough up that I stopped looking down to spare myself.

  “One down, two to go,” Jack said. “You have bested my knights. But each successive task calls on greater skills. And this one involves the Greek Gift Sacrifice.” With a sly smirk, he disappeared.

  I had no idea what Jack meant. “Theo? Clarification?”

  Theo wrapped his chain snugly around his fist. “Classic mid-game strategy. It refers to sacrificing a bishop.”

  Festos frowned at the bishop on Theo’s tunic. “We won’t be having any of that today, thank you very much.”

  I nudged Theo, trying to convey how sweet Festos’ concern was. Theo glanced at Festos and gave a small shrug. I knew that Theo had trouble expressing emotion and could be hard to read, but his past with Festos seemed really rough on him. I just wanted him to sort through it and be all happily-ever-after.

  Kai started up a short staircase. The stairs were low enough that we could take them two at a time, which helped us climb faster toward the top and that final door where Hannah was. “It’s like Jack is targeting us,” Kai said. “The first one was more personal to me.”

  Really? Because he’d been so affected by that encounter with his weapon-toting fangirl? Snort.

  “This one seems geared to you.” Kai pointed to Theo. “Bet on some twist.”

  “Well,” Theo said, “Festos is already here, so it’s not that.”

  “Although I am a Greek gift,” Festos said, his focus on managing the stairs, “I’m definitely no sacrifice. How about the Golem?”

  “Gollum,” Theo said.

  “An army of Gollums all protecting Jack’s precious,” I added.

  Kai shook his head. “Doesn’t feel devious enough.”

  Massive dread. Each challenge was going to get worse, wasn’t it? The thought caused me to stumble on the stairs.

  Theo hooked a hand under my elbow to steady me. “All good, Magoo?”

  In one fluid motion, Kai got between Theo and me and took my arm himself.

  Theo just stared at him, unimpressed.

  “You gonna whip it out and compare lengths now, Kyrillos?” Festos asked, obviously not happy with Kai’s behavior.

  “It’s the arrow,” I said. “It makes him crazy.”

  “Maybe,” Theo replied.

  And maybe we were all going a bit crazy from the strain and constant jeopardy.

  How screwed were we?

  We’d see soon enough. A white tile rose up, its door opened, and away we went.

  Sixteen

  We found ourselves in a bright shop, hi-tech carpet drying fans and wet vacs neatly lining one wall. The green and brown sign above the counter read “Dry Ground Flood Restoration.”

  Why had Jack sent us here? A quick glance revealed that the others looked as mystified as me.

  My first thought when the burly man with Popeye arms stepped out from behind a beaded curtain wearing a silver T-shirt emblazoned with a black Bishop’s piece on it was he’s the one going down, not Theo.

  Relieved, I turned to my BFF, who had paled. “You bastard, Hermes.”

  That’s when the man roared, grabbed Theo, and tried to squeeze him in two.

  I screamed and shot out a vine but was prevented from hitting the man by Festos, who knocked my arm away with his cane. “You’re supposed to want a second date, Fee” I hissed, rubbing my arm.

  Theo had escaped the man’s clutches but burly guy was going in again.

  Kai, meanwhile, had lunged for Festos, who jumped away but Kai caught himself before making contact. Instead, he wrapped me in his arms. From the look on his face, he hadn’t put me there consciously.

  Still, it felt good to be enveloped by him like that. “Could you please stop the man from killing my best friend?” I glanced at Theo, who had pulled out his chain. Yes, the chain forged by Festos, which had bound Theo to the rock. I’d seen the damage it could do. It wasn’t pretty. He smacked the man with it. Flesh sizzled. “Or the other way around,” I amended with a wince.

  The man dropped Theo with a howl. “No fair, Papa.”

  Papa?!!

  “Roughhousing is fine but what did I teach you?” Theo asked sternly.

  The man hung his head. “Love isn’t supposed to hurt.”

  Of all the head trippy things that had happened in the past several months, this took the cake. I couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

  I pushed out of Kai’s arms. “What the freaking hell is going on?”

  “Sophie,” Theo said, his eyes carefully neutral, “meet my son, Deukalion. Buddy, this is my best friend Sophie. I think you know Kyrillos and Hephaestus.”

  Deukalion nodded at them then took my hand in his meaty one and shook. “Hárika ya tin gnorimia. It is nice to meet you.”

  Where to start with all the levels of how wrong that was? That he sounded like a five-year-old? That Theo was a dad?

  I stood there, my mouth
opening and closing but no sound coming out. Totally failing to compute.

  “I don’t believe it,” Kai said. “We’ve finally rendered her speechless.” He smiled slowly and evilly. “This is like the best present ever.”

  Deukalion peered at me, worriedly. “Sugar!” With surprising grace for such a meaty man, he jumped over to the counter, pulled out a small plastic container, and popped a handful of trail mix in my mouth. “Chew!”

  Apparently I could still follow simple commands.

  “That’s my girl,” Kai said fondly, once more taking my hand. “In shock and still able to eat.”

  “She doesn’t look too good,” Deukalion said. “You come home with me. We’ll have tea.” He looked expectantly at Theo, eyes shining.

  “That would be …” Theo took a deep breath, like he needed to compose himself. “Great, son.”

  “Geneia,” Deukalion called out. “I’ll be back. You watch the store.”

  A pretty, olive-skinned girl just slightly younger than me slipped out shyly from the back. “Yes, Papa,” she said. She caught sight of Theo. “Pappous!” she cried.

  Theo’s expression softened and he gave her a hug, murmuring words of endearment to her.

  “He’s a grandfather, isn’t he?” I asked Festos, unsteadily.

  Then I fainted.

  I came to lying on a hideously floral, lumpy sofa covered in plastic, my head on a pillow in Kai’s lap. Did all the Greeks shop at the same furniture outlet store?

  He looked down at me. “Better?”

  “I think my brain has officially fried.” Carefully, I swung myself up, ignoring the cracking noises of the plastic, and accepted a small, handleless, blue and gold glass stuffed with fresh mint and hot water.

  I took a sip and made a face. “That’s sweet.” But really good. I knocked back a bit more. “So, Deukalion …” I frowned, uncertain how to describe him.

  “Deuk is a little touched from the drowning way back,” Kai said. “But he’s doing very well on his own and has Geneia to help look after him.”

  I cocked an eyebrow in disbelief at him.

  Kai took my empty glass and set it on an end table. “Hey, it’s the official party line. Who am I to deviate?”

  “You’re all kinds of deviant.” I held up my hand to stave off any innuendos. “I still don’t get it. Why are we here?”

  “You heard the man.” I glanced over at a grim-sounding Festos, who had just entered the room. “A bishop has to be sacrificed. Theo or Deukalion. One of them is going down.”

  “That’s horrible!” I felt sick for Theo. “Does Deukalion even get what’s going on?”

  Festos sat beside Kai and me and rubbed his bad leg, his eyes tight with fatigue. “Sort of. Jack invited him to play a game. Deuk against Theo. A wrestling match, which, with his strength?” Festos shook his head. “There could be serious collateral damage.”

  “Unless Theo knocks his son out first. Which he could do if he uses his chain.” Except, I knew Theo wouldn’t do that.

  “Not to further complicate matters,” Kai piped up, “but if Theo doesn’t do it, it’s strike one against Hannah.”

  I pressed the palm of my hand into my forehead, hoping the pressure might spark an idea. Just a million variations on pointless. I hated Jack so, so much. I raised bleak eyes to Kai and Festos. “Theo needs us.” I got up and headed for his voice.

  They were in the kitchen. “Hearts,” Deukalion said, slapping an eight down beside the remnants of their tea.

  “You played that card already,” Theo said.

  “Did not,” his son disagreed, eyes shifting off to the side.

  “Now you’re lying.”

  “I hate you!” Deukalion shouted, in a roar like a bull.

  Kill me, Festos mouthed at me. Aloud he said, “Deuk, what I think your father means is that you are very smart to have figured out how to play that card again.” He clapped Theo on the back.

  “Are you the parent?” Theo asked him, twisting around in his chair. “Because in this family, we don’t cheat.”

  That brought a snort of disbelief from me, Kai, and Festos.

  “Life and death? Yes. At games, no,” Theo amended.

  “Unless it’s Scrabble,” I said.

  “Papa cheats?”

  I nodded. “Like a seasoned crook.”

  “Just because you’re illiterate,” Theo retorted.

  I nodded emphatically. “Old English is cheating. Since you were around when the word was invented.”

  Theo shot me a level look. Like I was the unreasonable one. “It’s in the dictionary.”

  “Whose? Shakespeare’s personal copy? Twenty-first century English, Rockman. Play it.”

  My voice had been steadily rising, as it usually did when Theo and I fought, but this distressed Junior.

  “Don’t yell at him,” Deukalion yelled at me. “Take that bad woman away, Papa.”

  “No yelling at guests. Say ‘sorry,’ buddy.”

  Deukalion’s chin jutted out stubbornly.

  “Okay, how about we play a different game?” Theo asked.

  His son brightened. “We can wrestle now.” He swept the table, dishes, and chairs away in one forceful gesture, picked Theo up by the scruff of his neck, and slammed him to the linoleum.

  Kai, Festos, and I all winced at the bone-crushing thud Theo made upon impact.

  Festos stepped forward wanting to help, but Theo held out a hand as he looked up, dazed. “Outside. All of you.”

  I started to protest, but he cut me off with a withering glance. He pushed to his feet, took off his glasses, and set them on the counter. “Now.”

  “Ooh, sexy, threaty voice,” Festos murmured to me as we left out the back door.

  We sat down on the forlorn pieces of lawn furniture in the tiny yard. Wherever we were, it was early evening, which by my reckoning meant we were probably in the same time zone as Hope Park. The air was slightly warmer and dryer here, though. Factor in the dwarf avocado tree and lilac bush in the back corner of the yard, and I figured we were in California.

  The crashes and roars inside sounded awful. I had no idea how to help Theo or Hannah. Just a sick feeling that both of my friends were going to suffer terribly. I stood up. “I’ll fight him. It’s not great but—”

  Festos cut me off with a sharp shake of his head. “Theo would never let you.”

  “But he shouldn’t have to—” We heard a crash so loud, the ground shook. “… take this. And Hannah …” My voice cracked in distress.

  Kai pulled me down so I was sitting pressed up beside him. He slung an arm around my shoulders, murmuring into my hair. “Worst case, it’s one strike. She won’t die. I promise.”

  I snuck a look at him. Kai leaned back against the chair cushions. He shifted enough to throw a leg over mine.

  I sighed. Easy wasn’t in my future with this one. Which kind of relaxed me. At least I knew what not to expect. Plus Kai was touching me, which felt good. Arrow or no.

  Wish I’d known to appreciate my easy pre-goddess life of peer harassment and the occasional pimple disaster, but there you go. Youth, wasted on the young.

  We hung out in tense silence for a while, waiting. As much as I could, I let myself be soothed by Kai’s rhythmic stroking of my back, only glancing at the back door about a billion times. Jack couldn’t have given us a worse challenge. I wondered who the next one would be aimed at—me or Festos.

  I was betting it would be me.

  I tilted my head, gazing up at Kai through my lashes. He caught my look. Time froze for a second. A wonderful second, in which I thought that maybe I’d be given some indication that he was swimming in the deep end of us as well. Instead, he broke eye contact.

  But his hold on me tightened.

  Talk about mixed messages. Unless, again, it was just the arrow.

  I was making myself crazy. And this was just focusing on the more positive aspects of my life!

  The back door flung open and Deukalion stepped outside g
rinning. “Papa is down!” he announced triumphantly.

  We raced back inside. Theo was a bruised and bloody mess. He was propped on a wooden kitchen chair, tunic ripped, the stiffness in his pose belying how much pain he must have been in. He pressed a bag of frozen peas to his left eye.

  Deukalion bent over to peer at his dad. “I did good, yes?”

  Theo reached his free hand out to ruffle his son’s hair. “Yeah, kid. Really good.”

  Deukalion beamed. “I’m going back down to the store now.” He left.

  I shot Festos a glance to see if he wanted to take the seat beside Theo but he just stood there, tight-lipped. So I sat down and laid my hand on Theo’s. “What happened?”

  Theo didn’t speak for a moment, and I thought he was going to ignore me. “He was a really great kid.”

  Not what I meant, but he looked like he needed to say more on the topic, so I let him. “Did you raise him?” Was this conversation insane to be having with Theo here and now? Absolutely. But if you couldn’t support your best friends through the crazy, then you had no business calling yourself one.

  He shrugged. “Enough. His mom had him most of the time, but I was definitely around. He grew up. It was all good. He was a king.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.” Theo sounded proud. “Good at it, too. But stuff happened. The kingdom turned corrupt and Zeus sent a flood down to punish them.” He laughed bitterly. “Always Zeus.”

  I squeezed his hand. “What happened to Deukalion?”

  “He drowned. I thought he was dead. But he wasn’t. Just different. I couldn’t stand to see him like that. So I stopped. I stopped seeing my own kid.”

  He closed his eyes.

  He was in so much pain that anything I said would be meaningless words. Knowing Theo wasn’t the biggest fan of hugs, I didn’t want to add to his stress, so I just held his hands in mine.

  I felt myself gently tugged away from Theo. It was Festos. The only person I would have allowed to replace me at that moment.

  Festos slid into the seat next to Theo, and tilted Theo’s chin up with a finger to look at him.