Pleasures of Christmas Past (A Christmas Carol Book 1)

by Lexi Post

  Holly grinned. “I am here.”

  “No, lass. Bend down and give me a kiss.”

  The young Holly pretended to ponder his request before she lowered her lips to his. Jessica watched as Cameron held the young woman’s head with one hand and slipped the tiny flower behind her ear with the other.

  Young Holly lifted her head. “You taste like chocolate. Did you bring chocolate with you?”

  He shrugged. “I may have, but you said you were on a diet.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Really Cam? You know I’m always on a diet and I’m always ignoring it. You’re going to have to share that chocolate.”

  “Be happy to. All you have to do is give me another kiss.”

  He winked at her and she laughed. “You are such a tease.”

  He grinned. “I try.” He reached out and picked another mayweed flower. He plucked one white petal off it. “She loves me.”

  “Oh, don’t break the flower.”

  He looked fondly up at her. “It’s okay, I put one in your hair to help keep its beauty, but now that I look at it, it doesn’t come close to yours.”

  The young Holly blushed. “You shouldn’t say that. I’ll start believing you and then my head will be too big to fit into the door of our apartment.”

  “Don’t worry. If your head gets too big, we’ll just find a flat with a big enough door.”

  Holly chuckled. “You have an answer for everything.”

  “Aye.” He lay there gazing into her eyes.

  Jessica’s throat closed at the emotion flowing between the young couple. She looked over at Holly and found the same look on her face. An old ache, like the one she had before she met Jacob, grew in her chest. She thought she’d found the one, but even if she’d never known Jacob had been unfaithful, seeing Holly and Cameron would have made it clear, she would never know love at the depth they had or the depth she had always wanted.

  Cameron’s hand with the flower rose and she watched as he picked off every petal as he spoke. “She loves me. She loves me. She loves me. She loves me!”

  Holly laughed. “That’s not how it goes.”

  Cameron jumped up and pulled her up. “It does for me.”

  She nodded even as her laughter continued. “Yes, you’re right. I love everything about you.”

  Cameron sobered. “Holly love, be my wife. I love you more than there are stars, higher than this wee hill, and longer than life. Please, say yes.”

  The young Holly’s stunned expression had Jessica swallowing hard against the tears of joy that threatened.

  Then Holly’s face changed. Her eyes teared up and her lips lifted into a breathtaking smile. “Yes.”

  Cameron scooped her into a bear hug before lifting her feet off the ground and twirling her around.

  Holly squealed.

  Jessica’s gaze locked with the older Holly’s.

  “See why I wanted to come?”

  Jessica nodded, her throat too tight to speak.

  Cameron finally slowed and took young Holly’s face between his hands. “I swear I will love you forever and strive to make you as happy as you’ve made me for the rest of my life.”

  “And I swear I will love you forever and make sure you do exactly as you said.”

  Cameron threw his head back and laughed. “You, my hen, are one of a kind.”

  “So are you.”

  Cameron lifted his head and yelled. “She said yes!”

  “Cam.”

  He looked down at her, love making his eyes look like gem stones. “What? I want the world to know you will be my wife.”

  Holly grinned. “But there is no one for miles around. Besides, if you want to do that, you better get me an engagement ring pretty quick.”

  His surprised look made it clear he’d completely forgotten he needed to do that. He released Holly so fast she lost her balance, but she caught herself as he ran to a nearby bush.

  “Cam, what are you doing?”

  “Just stay right there.”

  The young Holly folded her arms and shook her head.

  Jessica glanced at the older Holly. “What is he doing?”

  “Just watch. I still love it.”

  “Och. What the hell?” Cameron backed away from the bush then lay on the ground and peered under it.

  “Are you okay?” Young Holly looked puzzled, but not concerned.

  “Yeah, I’m fine, stay there.”

  Jessica watched from where she was, though the urge to float over to the bush was strong, but Holly wanted her to be surprised so she made herself stay where she was.

  “Okay, close your eyes and hold out your hands.” Cameron looked over his shoulder at Holly.

  “Really, Cam?”

  “Come on, love, just do it.”

  Young Holly closed her eyes and held out her arms.

  Cameron finally rose and carried something in his hands, but from where she drifted, she could see a tiny tail sticking out. Oh, she hoped it wasn’t a rodent. Would he play that kind of trick on the woman who just agreed to marry him?

  “I’ve brought you an engagement gift.” Cameron placed the animal in Holly’s hands.

  The second she felt it, she opened her eyes. “What? Where?” She held a tiny furball of kitten.

  “It’s Mac.” Jessica couldn’t help her surprise.

  The older Holly nodded. “Yup. He found him under that bush when he went to break off a twig.”

  “Why did he need a twig?”

  “You’ll see.” Holly grinned with undisguised glee. She really was enjoying this.

  Young Holly tried to cuddle the kitten, but it kept climbing onto her shoulder and licking her ear. She giggled and pulled it down again. “He’s as bad as you only a lot smaller.”

  Cameron grinned. “He’s one smart cat. He knew exactly where to hide so I could find him.”

  Holly scanned the area. “But where’s his mom and siblings? He’s too young to be at the top of Loudon Hill by himself.”

  Cameron scratched the top of the kitten’s head and he started to purr. “We’ll look for them as we head down, but if we don’t find them, you’ll have to keep him.”

  Holly nodded solemnly and pulled the kitten from her shoulder again.

  “Before we head down, I want you to wear this.” Cameron took young Holly’s left hand and placed a twig ring on her finger.

  She started to cry in earnest. “Oh Cam.”

  He pulled her into his embrace and kissed her. The kitten pounced onto his shoulder and bit his ear. “Ow. Stop that.” The kitten hesitated then licked his ear.

  Young Holly laughed. “If we get to keep him I’m going to call him Mac. He’s so much like you.”

  Cameron’s eyes widened. “What does Mac have to do with me? I’m a Douglas.”

  “Cam spelled backwards is Mac.” The twinkle in her eye was reflected in his and he laughed.

  “Your brain works in crazy ways, hen, but I love it.”

  Young Holly gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I know it does. Now let’s see if we can find Mac’s family. No one should be without family.”

  Cameron gave her ass a squeeze as she bent to retrieve their walking sticks. “Cam, stop.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows as he took his stick from her. “I’m thinking we can make our own family.”

  Young Holly blushed, but Jessica noticed the older Holly was anything but happy. A tear made its way slowly down her cheek.

  Jessica floated over to her. “What’s wrong?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  “’Nothing’ doesn’t cause people to cry. You were so happy a moment ago. Tell me.”

  Holly sniffed as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “We had planned on trying for a baby right away, but then Cameron came up with the idea of the One of A Kind Christmas Shop and we decided to wait. If we hadn’t waited, I would have a piece of him with me now.”

  “But you do have a piece of him. Actually, you have all of him. Cameron still loves yo
u and you still love him. In fact, he loves you so much, he sent me and Duncan here to make you happy. It’s not about what might have been, but about what you have had.”

  Jessica paused. Holly didn’t seem to understand her point.

  “What you had with Cameron, that’s something only one in a million people have. It’s to be treasured and respected for its beauty as it was, not for what it could have led to.”

  Holly sniffed again. “I think I see what you’re saying. By wishing for more, I’m kind of putting down what we did have, like it wasn’t good enough.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I think I need a hug.”

  Jessica smiled and wrapped her arms around the woman. She so wanted Holly to be happy. So much so that if she had the chance to bring back Cameron from the dead she would. Since that wasn’t an option, she’d have to make do with hugs and counsel. She just hoped it was enough.

  Duncan floated into Jessica’s cottage, his heart racing with fear. Jessica was in danger. No’ only had she strayed from the pre-planned itinerary, but she’d done it for Holly. The connection between the two women was growing too strong. As soon as he found her, he’d warn her…that is if he could.

  He looked at his hands. They were still wavy and unclear. He hadn’t even noticed that until he’d been left alone in Holly’s home. His phased state wasn’t normal. It could be because Cameron had force-phased him instead of him phasing himself, but he couldn’t solidify among the living.

  He floated to the neat desk at one end of Jessica’s living room. Relief that Holly’s file was in plain sight washed through him. He solidified, reaching his hand toward the file, but caught the back of the desk chair as searing pain struck through his head and down his back, sending him to his knees. “Argh!”

  He took deep breaths, refusing the comfort of his phased state. He couldn’t pick up the file in that state. The pain was excruciating, like a sword driving through the top of his skull. Think of Jessica. She needed him. Jessica, with the cute nose and bonnie green eyes a man could lose himself in. Her laughter and smiles and warm, caring heart. She needed him.

  The pain lessened as he focused on her. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her. She was worth ten of him. He didn’t want her doubting herself or her life. She’d done so much good while alive. He wanted her to succeed. He wanted her to understand that he would take care of her.

  Why?

  The pain began to ease. She was important to him. He cared about her. He liked her. They could have a lasting afterlife together.

  He stilled. That wasn’t something he’d ever thought about before. Why now? He shied away from delving into it. He had a woman to save.

  Standing slowly, he kept his head completely level. When no stabbing agony rocked his skull, he moved it left and right, then up and down. The pain had disappeared. Finally, he could get back to Jessica.

  He grabbed the file and rifled through it until he found what he needed, the day Cameron proposed. Immediately, he phased and inspected his hands. The wavy appearance was gone. Hopefully, that meant he’d be able to communicate with Jessica again.

  That Cameron knew what was wrong with him but wouldn’t tell him until after their assignment had him thinking far less of the man. Either he was completely selfish about his wife being the priority at all costs, or he didn’t think he could help Duncan unless he finished this assignment. Either way, his gut told him, he wouldn’t like the explanation.

  The whispers about spirits disappearing floated through his mind again. There weren’t many trainers or Spirit Guides who had been dead as long as him. He tried to think of those who were and couldn’t. It didn’t matter at the moment anyway. Jessica was his priority just as Holly was Cameron’s.

  Duncan sped across space and time. As he flew over the place where his castle once stood, his heart sank. One lone tower and a piece of the castle wall stood like silent sentinels of his family’s line. The Montgomeries had carried on without him, probably thanks to his older brother, up until the last assignment he’d had this way, but to see his home all but gone was a blow to his heart. Had they scattered to the four winds?

  Loudon Hill came into view. He moved even faster toward the spot, hoping he wasn’t too late to stop the growing connection between Jessica and Holly. Two individuals walked across the top of the large hill in the middle of fields. Beneath a tree near the top, he could see the two women.

  Quickly, he landed before them.

  “Duncan.” Jessica’s welcoming smile was like a balm to his soul, but he didn’t let his comfort at her ability to see him cloud his concern.

  “What have ye done, lass?”

  Her smile disappeared. “I brought Holly to the place where Cameron proposed. It’s what she wanted.”

  Holly floated next to Jessica. “It’s true. This is my only chance to relive my moments with Cameron and I wanted to see this.”

  He turned toward Holly. “I understand, lass, I do, but we have rules and this visit could have serious repercussions.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any harm. I just wanted to see more of Cameron.”

  He set his hand on her shoulder and forced a smile. “I know. How about you float down the hill with him while I talk to Jessica. We’ll meet you down there.”

  Holly nodded. “I can do that. Just remember, it was my idea.” She gave him a stern look before she floated after Cameron.

  He didn’t say anything until Holly had disappeared over the crest of the hill. Then he faced Jessica.

  She pushed her glasses up as if readying for battle. On one hand, he admired her for that, but on the other, his fear for her built. “Take my hand.”

  Thankful she didn’t balk or try to argue, he clasped her hand tightly and headed for his castle in the afterlife. He hadn’t gone far when her hand slipped from his.

  “Jessica?” He looked back but she wasn’t there. His heart thudded to a stop before his brain overrode his shock and he sped back to Loudon Hill.

  She floated on the opposite side from where Holly had gone. “What happened?”

  He pulled at the neckline of the tight shirt he wore, no’ willing to believe he was too late. “You let go of my hand.”

  “No, I didn’t. I was pulled away from you like a sling shot and came to a stop right here.”

  Bollocks! He was too late. He couldn’t accept it, wouldn’t accept it.

  “Duncan, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me.” Jessica’s eyes were wide, her body tense.

  He tried to loosen his scowl, but a pain had started in his chest that was completely different from the pain he’d been getting in his head. This one made him want to die all over again. “It is your connection to Holly.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He grabbed her by the shoulders, relieved he still could. “You’re connection to Holly has grown too strong. It won’t allow you to leave the plane of the living.”

  “Do you mean I can’t go back to my job as Spirit Guide or my little cottage or even to your castle?” Her voice rose in pitch.

  The image of the castle as it stood now raced through his mind to be replaced by an image of Jessica, sprawled across the bed in his tower room, waiting for him to join her. He shook his head to clear it, no’ anxious to have more of the head pain he’d had before. “No you can’t, but only for now.” He looked away, no’ wanting her to see he had no idea if there was anything he could do to save her.

  She leaned against him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Oh good. You scared me. She lifted her head. When can I go back?”

  He couldn’t look at the trust in her eyes and lie, so he rested his hand against her head and nudged her face to his chest. “I dinna know yet. I need to consult with Cameron.” There had to be a way to save her from becoming a ghost. That he could hold her meant she wasn’t completely gone. There had to be something they could do.

  He pulled back to look at her. I can’t lose her. “First you need to break the connection with Holly as
much as possible.”

  She pulled out of his arms. “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “You can’t give in to her. You can counsel her and support her, but you have to detach yourself from her.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  Then there’s no hope for us. He didn’t even understand he wanted an “us” until just minutes earlier, or were there any minutes? Frustration built at the situation Cameron had caused. “If you dinna, then you will never get back to the afterlife.”

  Her face paled and her voice came out in a whisper. “Never?”

  “I promise, I will do everything I can to get you back, but you have to disconnect emotionally.”

  Jessica’s fear was palpable. “I don’t know how to do that. I never could while I was alive.” Tears welled in her eyes. “Oh no, I’m going to be a ghost aren’t I?”

  He grabbed her to him and held her tight. “Nay. I won’t let that happen.”

  She clung to him and his heart constricted. When had she come to mean everything to him? How could this happen? And what the blazes could he do about it?

  Jessica lifted her face from his shoulder and gazed at him, her fear so stark, his own spiked. “Ach, lass. You’re a confident, capable woman. You’ve made miracles happen for others. You can make one happen for yourself. Remember, Holly will have two more ghosts to help her. Just as the Tinders took over with Holly, and Mrs. Connors was helped by the people at Willow Wood. You’ve already done so much for her, but now you can let her go.”

  Jessica looked away. “Will I get to see how her life goes after the other spirits visit her?”

  He brushed a loose strand of silky blonde hair away from her face. “Aye. But only if you disconnect. You must be a Spirit Guide to see how everything works out for her. If you stay connected, you will be stuck here even after she dies.”

  She moved her hand toward her glasses and he caught it. “Jess, no more self-doubt. I’ve never met a more capable, beautiful or intelligent woman with such a big heart. You must find the will to separate.”

  He held her gaze, wanting more than anything to give her his own will, but he couldn’t.

  “You really believe that?” Her vulnerability almost broke his heart. How could she think otherwise?