Pleasures of Christmas Past (A Christmas Carol Book 1)

by Lexi Post

  He blinked at the water stinging his eyes. “Aye. I just canna believe I found ye.”

  Jessica’s own eyes teared up. “And I you, but we did, and just in time.”

  A shiver ran through his body. It had been too close. He hugged her to him, determined to continue touching her until he was taken away.

  * * * * *

  Jessica listened to the sound of Duncan’s heartbeat, so steady it could put her to sleep as she lay with her head on his chest, but a question still floated in her mind. “Duncan?”

  “Aye.”

  “You said you had loved once in your lifetime. Who was it?”

  At his quiet chuckle, she lifted her head to look at him.

  His arm squeezed her tight for a moment. “You aren’t jealous are you, Jess?”

  She shrugged, trying to appear unconcerned, but it did make her nervous. If he had loved and remembered that love, would he search the woman out in the afterlife now that he’d remembered?

  He pushed her hair away from her face. “She was a bonny, wee thing. All she had to do was smile at me and I was smitten.”

  “Oh.” She didn’t like the sound of that.

  His smile grew wider. “But I could watch her sleep for hours, no need for her to put forth any effort.”

  Okay, now he was just rubbing it in. She lifted herself up on one arm. “You’re not making me feel better.”

  His laugh caught her off guard.

  “Jess, there is no need for jealousy. The lass I loved was my baby daughter.”

  Oh wow, she’d never even thought about the possibility that he had children. Based on his lover boy ways, there were probably dozens. “Did your family accept her? I mean, you were never married so…”

  His brows lowered and his face grew serious. “They better have.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He lifted his chin, stretching his neck like he did when he wore the “blasted” t-shirt. “The first time I met my daughter I knew she was mine. The woman I had been with was no’ the type to do what she did with me.”

  “You mean have sex?”

  He frowned. “Aye. I was trying to spare your feelings.”

  “Don’t. It happened in the past, while you were alive.” She gave him an encouraging smile, not because she wanted details about his daughter’s mother, but because she wanted to know about his daughter.

  “The woman was widowed and when she found herself with child she moved away from her village. But once my daughter was born, she realized she couldn’t support her on her meager income and sent for me.”

  He paused and a look of pure happiness filled his face. “She had named her Isabella. When I looked down on Bella’s face and her little hand grasped my finger in her sleep, I knew she was mine.”

  The look on Duncan’s face caused a lump to form in Jessica throat. He had so much love to give. Everyone, including herself, including him, had done him a disservice by accepting the Duncan he presented to the world, instead of looking deeper to the amazing man he was. “So you took her home?”

  He blinked, obviously lost in his memory. “I wanted to, but first I had to tell my family, prepare a room and hire a nursemaid. Since my brother had yet to marry and have children, my parents were happy to have a little one. Of course, she wouldn’t inherit anything, but she was to be given a sizeable dowry, so she could marry well.” His brows lowered in concern.

  “But you never got to see her marry, did you?”

  “No. Once all was ready for Bella, I sent for her. She and her mother were almost at the castle. I was anxious and rode out to meet them at the bridge across the burn. But we’d had weeks of rain and as the carriage came along the road next to the overfull burn, the embankment gave out and the carriage tipped.”

  “Oh, no!” Jessica’s heart ached, afraid to hear what befell little Bella.

  Duncan squeezed her waist again, as if keeping her close helped him relive his memory, so she laid her head down again, but kept her gaze on his face.

  “Bella’s mother and the coachmen were thrown partially into the water, but Bella slipped from her mother’s arms and into the raging burn.” He looked down at Jessica. “I’ve only felt that kind of terror one other time in my existence and that was when you were fading into a ghost.”

  Her heart expanded with love and tears filled her eyes. “Please tell me you were able to save Bella like you saved me.”

  He touched her cheek with his knuckles. “Aye, I did. I jumped into the burn and lifted my fair Bella out of the freezing water and handed her to the coachman. But my body had gone numb and when the branch I held broke, I was swept away. I died saving her.”

  She lay her cheek against his chest and hugged him tight. Relieved and yet overwhelmed by the man who was now hers. “Now that you remember, will you contact her here? I think I’d like to meet her.”

  “Jess.” He lifted her chin with his finger. “I would like to, but I don’t think I will have time. I was almost taken when I saved you too, but I refused to go. I wanted more than anything to experience this love we have found. I promise you, it is not common.”

  “What do you mean you were almost taken?” She leveraged herself up to make sure he was serious. He was.

  Duncan looked away. “I am no’ sure how much time I have left.”

  “What do you mean? It’s not like you’re going to die and you are certainly not turning into a ghost.”

  The need in his gaze when he returned it to her took her breath away. “I want to stay with you for eternity, Jess. But…”

  Now he was truly scaring her. “But what?”

  A figure floated through the wall.

  “Ack!” She dove under the covers as Cameron Douglas solidified.

  Duncan sat up. “What are you doing here? We finished our assignment.”

  Cameron leaned against the bed post. “Almost.”

  A growl issued from Duncan and she glanced at him. He was seriously angry.

  “I dinna give a faerie’s ass if we haven’t finished, ye canna float in here and scare Jessica.”

  “Actually, I can. You see, it’s time for you to move on.”

  She sat up, pulling the quilt with her. “I don’t think so. He’s staying with me.”

  Duncan ran his hand down her arm. “It’s all right, Jess.”

  “No, it isn’t.” She glared at Cameron. “Exactly where do you expect him to move on to?”

  Duncan looked at Cameron. “Let me tell her.” He turned back to her, but her heart was already breaking.

  “Those ‘headaches’ I’ve had grew a lot worse. It was part of my soul ceasing to exist. I dinna want to go, though. Now that I have you, I want to stay with you.”

  “I certainly hope so.” Cameron scowled. “Because she’s going with you.”

  Duncan threw back the covers and had his hands around Cameron’s neck before she could react. “Duncan!”

  Cameron phased. Duncan did too but a split second behind, which gave Cameron the opportunity to escape. He backed up two steps, laughing as he held his hands out in front of him to ward off Duncan. “No, no, Duncan she’s not going there with you.”

  Duncan halted in midstride, his hands fisted at his sides. “Explain yourself.”

  “I will if you just give me a chance.” Cameron took a second to catch his breath. “You were right, you were ceasing to exist, but you won’t anymore.”

  Jessica wasn’t following. “Why?”

  Cameron smiled. “Because you love him and he returns that love.”

  She looked at Duncan and he looked at her.

  “May I?” Cameron indicated the chair by the table. At Duncan’s nod, Cameron moved her clothes to the table and sat. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you, but I have even more rules than Spirit Guides.”

  Duncan took the couple steps back that brought him to the end of the bed where he sat and she scooted next to him, entwining her hand with his.

  Cameron continued. “Any soul on this plane is here because
he or she has not come to terms with his or her life.” He looked at her. “For you, it was your regret. So many cases you wished you could have helped. You even regretted the cases you didn’t live to get.”

  She squirmed. He was right there.

  “You also regretted at the same time not marrying the man you were in love with because you were so involved with your work.”

  “You mean the man I thought I was in love with. But that wasn’t love. You made that far too clear in my visits with Holly.”

  Cameron did look sorry. “And you, my friend.”

  Duncan raised an eyebrow, clearly revealing his doubt about them being friends.

  Cameron sighed. “I know I was hard on you, but I had to be. When I first met you, I thought you were an anomaly. You were not only the oldest soul here but you were also the one who didn’t appear to have any issues with your life.”

  Duncan squeezed her hand, but didn’t remove his gaze from Cameron.

  “That made no sense. Then when you had the episode when you finally won the bet against me on the Rangers game, I knew something was wrong so I asked Remiel some pointed questions.”

  Duncan tensed. “You asked Remiel?”

  “I did. I was that worried.”

  She couldn’t contain her curiosity. “Who’s Remiel?”

  Duncan whispered in her ear, “He is an arch angel.”

  “Oh.” She wasn’t sure what to make of that. She hadn’t realized angels were real. Then again, she was a newbie to the afterlife, so she cut herself some slack. “So what did you learn?”

  “That Duncan’s soul was disintegrating.”

  “What?” She looked at Duncan for confirmation and he gave the slightest nod. “That was your headaches?”

  “Aye, but they were a tad more painful. They lessened when I phased, but then I started to drift apart. When your connection to Holly grew too strong, I was forced to solidify in order to discover where and when you two had gone. I found if I suffered the pain, the darkness stayed away.”

  Duncan turned to Cameron. “But when I was trying to save Jessica, I couldn’t solidify on the living plane, yet the blackness disappeared.”

  Cameron nodded. “Yes, because you finally remembered that your one significant regret was not having loved, so when Jessica told you she loved you and you believed that, you came to terms with your life.”

  “So I’m no’ in danger of disappearing forever?”

  Cameron shook his head. “No, you’re not.”

  “Does that mean I can search out my daughter?” Duncan squeezed her hand, his anxiousness clear.

  “Yes.” Cameron smiled. “In fact, both you and Jessica have attained peace.”

  She had? She searched for that feeling of needing to help and not being able to and didn’t find it. Her wish to know love had been completely fulfilled by Duncan. She looked at this man from a totally different country and a totally different century and was awestruck they had ever found each other. “Wait, how did you know making Duncan my mentor would save him?”

  Cameron shrugged. “I didn’t, not for sure. But I’d seen the women he’d been with and none of them were like you, so I hoped. You were my only chance to save Duncan and your connection to my wife was the perfect way to help you understand your place among the living.”

  “But I almost turned into a ghost!”

  Her supervisor had the grace to redden. “I admit, my plan wasn’t perfect. I misjudged exactly how connected you were to your cases and overestimated Duncan’s ability to charm you.”

  She glared at him a moment longer, but couldn’t stay mad. In the end, she’d found peace and Duncan, or maybe it was the other way around. But she still had one question. “Duncan remembered how he died, but I thought we couldn’t remember that.”

  Duncan looked down at her. “I was wrong. Because I couldn’t remember, I assumed we weren’t allowed to, but you can.” He looked at Cameron. “Right?”

  Cameron nodded.

  “How did I die? I know I wasn’t sick or anything. So it had to be an accident or some fluke event.”

  Cameron nodded.

  Duncan leaned down and whispered in her ear, “He’s not allowed to tell you.”

  “Oh.” Jessica tightened her hold on the quilt. “I’m leaning toward accident, most likely a car accident because I was forever driving to clients apartments over half the state.

  Again Cameron nodded.

  She tried to focus. She could picture herself on a highway, maybe interstate 95. No, that didn’t feel right. She got off the highway onto another road. “Yes, I was on a road but it was way off the highway, but still well tarred.” She looked at Duncan. “Some of the roads I traveled were dirt. But this wasn’t.”

  Again Cameron nodded.

  “Oh, I remember thinking how beautiful it was. The evergreens everywhere. The only sign of civilization was the telephone poles along the side of the road and an occasional home or trailer.”

  Jessica stilled. “Telephone poles.” She saw the pole come at her fast. “I drove into a telephone pole?”

  Cameron grinned. “Yes, but why?”

  She forced herself to envision the ride. What did she remember seeing? It wasn’t that she was sleepy. She’d been very alert. She didn’t want to hit an animal if it— “A bear. It was a bear.” She looked up at Duncan. “It was a baby black bear and I swerved to avoid hitting it and I crashed into the telephone pole.”

  He grinned at her. “I didn’t realize you helped animals as well as people.”

  She smiled as a tear fell down her cheek. “Did I avoid it?” She looked to Cameron.

  “Yes, you did.”

  She took a deep breath as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Everything made sense now. Everything was right. “Thank you. I feel so much better now that I know.”

  “I’m glad. And what about you, my friend?” Cameron raised one eyebrow. “Did you remember everything?”

  Duncan nodded. “I did.”

  “What about Bella, Duncan’s daughter?” She looked at the man she loved. “Do you want to know?”

  He turned to Cameron, his voice quiet. “Can you tell me?”

  “Yes, I can. Isabella Montgomerie married Robert Hamilton and they had a brood of little Hamiltons.”

  Jessica sensed the tension leave Duncan’s body. “Do you know if she married for love?”

  Cameron nodded. “Yes, she did. Her dowry allowed her the pick of the men in the area.” He moved his gaze to Duncan. “You’re sacrifice enabled her to have a long life.”

  Duncan nodded, but he didn’t say a word.

  Jessica squeezed his hand, too pleased for him. “I’m so glad we know now.”

  “That’s why you can move on.”

  Duncan tensed. “What do you mean move on?”

  Cameron stood and walked over to put his hand on Duncan’s shoulder. “I mean that after all the time you have been here and helped others to find peace, the gates of paradise are now open to you, my friend. They are open to both of you. You may continue on together for eternity now.”

  Jessica felt the truth of his words in her heart and her eyes teared. She glanced at Duncan, who stared at Cameron in surprise before his own eyes watered and he stood.

  “Thank you, Cameron. For helping me remember and forcing me to see the love that was in front of me.” He gave Cameron a hug.

  When the men separated, Cameron leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you for all you did for my wife. I knew you could help.”

  She smiled through her tears. “She is a wonderful woman.”

  “Yes, she is.” The sorrow that was so much a part of Cameron’s spirit seemed to return full force. As if he sensed her need to help him he held out his hand and laughed. “Oh, no you don’t. I’m perfectly happy to wait for Holly. You two go on.”

  Duncan pulled her out of the bed.

  “Duncan, I have no clothes on!”

  He grinned. “Ach, lass, where we’re going we dinna ne
ed clothes. Besides, would ye rather spend eternity with me clothed or naked?” He gave her a devilish smile.

  “Definitely naked.”

  “That’s my Jess.” He brushed her hair off her shoulders and pulled her against him. Then he tipped her head and gave her a heart-searing kiss.

  Pure joy filled her heart as they drifted into paradise. “Oh, wow!”

  Epilogue

  Cameron’s throat closed as Jessica and Duncan disappeared in a burst of light. As much as he envied them their happiness, he wouldn’t want Holly with him any earlier than her time.

  He frowned. He was the idiot who cut their time short among the living. It was right that he suffer. But for her, he wanted her to live a full life, not one tainted by sorrow. Jessica had done a lot to further that possibility. She definitely showed his wife not to regret his passing but treasure their time together. If only he could do the same.

  He shook his head. That wasn’t likely to happen anytime soon, but this wasn’t about him. This was about Holly. In her next year, he would send her more spirits to further his plan to make it up to her for his foolishness.

  And he knew exactly who to send.

  Phasing, Cameron flew above the castle and headed for his office, but in midflight he changed course. It couldn’t hurt too much if he visited Holly before dawn broke on Christmas day.

  It was sweet torture to see her and speak to her, but he couldn’t stay long. Their connection was too strong and he could easily go down the path Jessica had. But a couple minutes, maybe three. Just to let her know he’d be back next year. For him, it would be no more than a blink of an eye, but he knew Holly. She preferred anticipating an event over being surprised. She said it made it last longer.

  He smiled as their house on the main street of Deervale came into view, the Christmas lights in the window a beacon in the small town. Next door, the One of Kind Christmas Shop was dark and would remain so through Hogmanay. They had agreed it was a much needed holiday. What would she do with her week?

  He tried to dispel the sadness his thought brought with it. He checked the grandfather clock in the corner. Good, he arrived at 12:12 a.m. The clock would alert him on the quarter hour.

  Holly sat in her chair staring at the tree, giving Mac a good petting. How he envied that cat. He floated toward the fireplace, not wanting to scare her, and the cat watched him with a look as if to say “About time you showed up.”