"I'm sorry I keep crying all the time," I told him, finding another honest way to avoid my real problems. It made me feel a little better that I wasn't lying, but not by much. "I'm still trying to adjust to all this."
He pursed his lips, and his eyes looked suspicious. I got the sense that he thought I was hiding something. His eyes suddenly softened and he sighed. "I know, Natalie. So am I."
"I'm sorry about the whole iced tea thing," I told him sincerely. "I'm just hormonal and grumpy."
"Don't worry about it, sweetheart," he said with a sad smile. "It doesn't matter now." It seemed like he still didn't buy my lame excuses, but shockingly he didn't call me out on them. I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"I'm so hungry," I continued casually. "Should we go check if dinner is almost ready?"
"Alright, sweetheart." That sad look crossed his eyes again, and I felt bad as he stood and helped me stand up. He pulled me into his arms and pressed his forehead to mine gently. "I love you both. You know that, right?"
"We love you, too," I answered with a firm nod, giving him the reassurance he was asking for, since I was pretty sure that my crazy all over the place behavior was the cause of his insecurity. I didn't want him to doubt my love for him, even if this pregnancy made me doubt everything else about myself and our future.
David leaned back and gave me another wan smile as he placed his hand on my belly. "Let's get you two fed, sweetheart." His lips brushed mine softly and sweetly. He took my hand and led me out of the room. The goddamn guilt punched me in the gut once again. Thankfully, this time his back was to me long enough that I could tamp it down into a hard painful lump in my chest before I ended up crying again. I suddenly didn't feel very hungry at all anymore.
***********
"Is everything alright with you two?" Sydney asked me quietly near Andy's front door as David went to get our coats, so we could leave. Luckily, Jensen and Andy were busy razzing each other about something or other, and weren't paying any attention to us. Lydia watched our exchange with a worried expression. She must have picked up on David's underlying tension during dinner. He was quiet and subdued during the meal, barely joining in the conversation at all.
"Well, we're both pretty stressed out about the pregnancy," I explained with a sigh. "And David got a phone call from his father this morning. So that didn't help him any."
"Wait, what?" Sydney asked in opened mouth astonishment. "Did you just say his dad called him?"
"Yeah," I nodded grimly. "Diana found him without David's knowledge and gave him his phone number."
"Holy fuck," Syd breathed out in shock. "I imagine he didn't respond well to that."
"Hell no, he was pissed," I replied. "They got into a huge fight over the phone, and she hung up on him." I didn't mention how he treated me right afterwords, since we had worked that out, and I forgave him already.
"Was he adopted or something?" Lydia asked with a perplexed expression.
"No," Syd answered her grimly. "Their father took off before Diana and David were born. He's never even met the guy, and to my knowledge, he never wanted to meet him at all."
"Wow." Lydia made a pained face. "That's messed up."
"He's been acting weird all day," I told them with a shake of my head. "I haven't asked him about it since it happened because I don't want to upset him, but I'm really worried about him."
"What was Diana thinking?" Sydney asked in exasperation. "She had to have known this would piss him off. I hope she didn't permanently fuck up her relationship with her brother. They've always been so close."
Just then, David came walking back into the living room with our coats, putting an end to our conversation. He gave me a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes as he approached. He held my coat up for me to slip on.
"Hey, David," Syd said as David lifted my coat up over my shoulders. "Do you want to meet for lunch this week? Maybe Monday or Tuesday?"
"That's fine," he said with little to no inflection. Syd pursed her lips at his unenthusiastic reply.
"Let me know which day works for you," she said in a slightly exasperated tone.
"Okay," David replied succinctly as he pulled his own coat on, either ignoring or oblivious to her irritation with him.
We said our good-byes as David reluctantly joined in all the male hugging and back slapping between Jensen, Andy, and himself. Lydia gave me a warm smile and a quick hug. Sydney embraced me tightly and whispered for me to call her if he or I needed her for anything or just to talk. Syd was sympathetic and understanding about my pregnancy, just like Jensen, Andy, and Lydia, without having to say a word. It was a relief that I didn't feel judged or thought less of over it. I was doing enough of that to myself.
David was quiet on the drive back to his house, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. I was starting to wish he would at least get angry again or react in some way. His silence was freaking me out. I'd never seen him react to something this way. At least when he was angry, I knew what was going on with him. Now, I just felt like I was in the dark and all alone.
"Are you feeling alright, Natalie?" he asked out of no where, surprising me out of my reverie. "You barely touched your food at dinner. I thought you were hungry."
"That's because I'm worried about you." That was yet another partial truth. "What are you going to do about your sister and your father?" I'd waited to ask him about it long enough. I think he needed to talk about it whether he wanted to or not. It was obviously upsetting him.
The skin around his eyes and mouth tightened with tension, and I was afraid that he was going to lose his temper again. I braced for him to explode. To my surprise, he took a deep ragged breath and somehow managed to keep his temper.
"I don't know, Natalie," he finally answered in a tight voice. "I don't think it's a good idea for me talk to my sister yet. We both need to cool down first. As for my father," he said that last part in a bitter tone, "I don't have anything to say to him."
"Aren't you the least bit curious about him?" I asked quietly.
"No," he said in a low growling voice, laced with anger that I was happy wasn't directed at me for once.
"Diana must have been curious for her to want to find him, don't you think?"
"I suppose," he said through clenched teeth. His eyes flashed with anger, and I watched his hands tighten around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. I realized that I was playing with fire pursuing this subject. I pursed my lips together and stared down at my clasped hands, not wanting to snap the control that he clearly was barely holding onto right now.
"I never thought my own sister would do something like this to me," he whispered harshly. I glanced over to see stark pain in his eyes. "I feel so betrayed that I don't know how I'm going to get over it. I don't think I could even look at her right now." He reached over and took my hand in his, squeezing it tightly. We held hands the rest of the way home in silence, David angry and in pain, and me hurting for him and feeling lost inside over my own problems. We were quite the dysfunctional pair.
When David finally pulled into his driveway, he sat unmoving and staring straight ahead with a forlorn lost expression. I watched him with sympathy and worry. With a sudden moment of clarity, I realized what I needed to do. David needed to feel in control of his life, and anytime he felt that control slip, it threw him off completely. This was one of those times, and I could give him that control by letting him use my body to get it back. Controlling my pleasure helped him deal with the stress he was under and cope with it better. I'd seen it work for him many times now, and it was my turn to initiate it for him.
He finally shook himself out of it and climbed out of the car. This time I waited for him to open my door for me. I took the hand that he held out to me and climbed out of the vehicle, then pressed my body against his. I lifted my hands and ran my fingers through his soft dark curls. His eyes became hooded with pleasure at my touch.
"I know what you need, my love," I said seductively as I brush
ed my lips against his softly.
"What's that, sweetheart?" his voice was low as he wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his nose against mine.
"You need to control my pleasure," I whispered. "You need to claim my body as yours and take me anyway you want."
His eyes widened and sparkled in the dim light from the open car door. His arms tightened around me as a deep growl erupted from his chest.
"Yes," he said in a rough voice as he narrowed his eyes. "Yes, I do."
He suddenly grabbed my hips and lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He turned away from the car and pushed the door closed with his hip. I breathed in his heady masculine scent as he carried me to the front door. David set me down, opened the door, then dragged me inside.
He led me straight to his room by the hand, his grip warm and firm. He dropped my hand as I stopped in the middle of the room. David came up behind me and wrapped one arm around my waist and the other around my upper chest. His nose nuzzled against my ear in a feather-light touch that made me shiver.
"David," I moaned softly.
"Be quiet," he said roughly, his arms tightening. He put his mouth against my ear, his lips brushing it as he spoke. "You don't speak. You don't move. You don't come, unless I give you permission. Understood?"
"Yes, sir," I whispered raggedly, feeling my arousal rising inside me from just his voice.
"If you're a good girl for me, I'll let you come." He kissed the edge of my ear lobe then nipped it suddenly, making me jump. "Eventually, anyway." He let out a darkly sensual laugh that made my pussy ache for him in a dull throb of divine torture. I'm not sure how I managed not to whimper his name with need.
"Now," he growled low in his throat, "arms above your head."
I immediately complied, and David slid his hands under my sweater and lifted it up and off of me in one swift motion. He pushed my arms back down, unhooked my bra, and slid it off. Then he came around and stood facing me. His eyes had darkened and turned that midnight blue of arousal that I adored. He reached out and grabbed the waistband of my skinny jeans and unfastened the button. He slid the zipper down without breaking our eye contact. His hands skimmed along my hips as he pushed my pants down along with my silky thong panties. I watched him kneel and pull my jeans off along with my shoes, then eye me with lust drunk eyes.
David stood, and his hands moved to his belt. He unbuckled it, but instead of taking off his jeans, he started taking off his belt.
"Do you trust me, sweetheart?" His voice was harsh and rough with desire as he pulled the leather belt out of the last loop.
"Y...yes, sir." I felt equal parts excitement and trepidation as I watched him run the belt between his hands.
"I bet you're wondering what I'm going to do with this belt." He walked around behind me, and I instinctively started turning to follow his movement. "Don't you dare move," he barked out, and I moved back to where I was supposed to be.
"Good girl," he whispered next to my ear. "Hands behind your back."
I obeyed instantly, and he gripped my wrists tightly in his hand.
"Did you like it the last time I bound your arms behind your back, Natalie?"
"Yes, sir," I said with a shudder. I felt him wrap the soft leather around my wrists, then I could hear the jangle of the buckle as he tightened the belt.
"Is that too tight, sweetheart?" he asked in a calming tone.
"No, sir," I whispered. "It's just right."
"Good," he murmured as he glided his fingertips up the sides of my arms. I shivered against my will. I loved his touch, craved it. "Now, kneel," he commanded in a stern tone as he pushed down on my shoulders. He helped me onto my knees, then came around to stand in front of me. He started unfastening his jeans, and my eyes were riveted to his hands. "I want you to show me how much you love my big cock." I looked up to see him smirking at me, amusement dancing in his eyes, and I smiled at him helplessly and nodded.
My eyes flashed back down as he pulled his erection out of his pants. He was absolutely mouthwatering, so big and hard and beautiful. I bit my lower lip in anticipation.
"Open," he growled out as he stepped closer to me, his cock bobbing in front of my face. I obeyed instantly and he was already shoving himself between my lips, his skin hot and velvety soft. "I want to hear how much you love my cock in your mouth."
That was easy to do. I loved it when he was in my mouth. I let myself go as I bobbed my head up and down his shaft with abandon, letting out whimpers and deep hums of pleasure. I swirled my tongue on the underside and sucked for all I was worth. I didn't want him to doubt for a single second that I loved pleasuring him this way. I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter. It was a sweet blissful torture that I adored in every way. David made the most arousing noises, growling and groaning in his ecstasy. I watched him closely, loving how his eyes fluttered and his mouth hung open.
"Stop," he snapped out and I stilled, looking up at him expectantly, his cock still in my mouth. "My turn," he snarled and buried his hands in my hair, gripping tightly. He began thrusting in and out of my mouth with long unhurried strokes at first, then he quickened the pace as he hit the back of my throat again and again. I closed my eyes and gave myself over to him completely, loving the feel of him using me for his pleasure.
"I love fucking your mouth," he groaned out in a desperate voice. His pace turned brutal, but I loved it. Saliva dripped from my mouth, and I could barely catch my breath, but I didn't care. He was snarling and grunting now, his eyes wild and inhuman as he drove into me repeatedly. I thought he was just about to explode in my mouth when he pulled me roughly off of him with a long groan.
He jerked me up to my feet and hastily took the belt off of my wrists, then refastened them together in front of me. He practically ripped his clothes off before he raised my arms and looped them over his head. His hands gripped my thighs and lifted me up, so I could wrap my legs around his waist. He lined his cock up with me and dropped me down onto him, the head of his penis piercing into me and hitting the end of me almost painfully. I pressed my lips together to keep from crying out.
The next thing I knew, my back was pushed up against something solid and David was pounding into me, making feral noises that set me on fire. I squeezed my fists tightly together as I fought the orgasm that threatened to obliterate me. I don't know how I managed to fight it off, but before I could revel in my victory, another climax rushed up, and I had to fight all over again. I wanted to beg and plead for my release, but I wanted to please him more. I bit my lip as a long whine bubbled out.
"Do you want to come?" he snarled out as he kept fucking me hard and fast.
"Yes," I whimpered. "Please, please, sir. I want to so bad."
"Then do it, Natalie," he groaned. "Come for me now."
Thank you, God. I let myself go, and the orgasm collided into me with brutal force. The impact was devastating, and a wailing scream exploded from my mouth. My pussy spasmed and squeezed down hard on David, making his pace falter abruptly. His body shuddered, and his hands tightened on my hips. He came with me, his shout joining my scream as raw ecstasy obliterated us both in white-hot fire.
Moments later, we were both reeling from it, my body limp as David held us both up. We were both panting and dripping with sweat, our bodies still connected as his cock began to softened inside me. He lowered me gently to the ground as he slipped out of me. I could feel our mingled juices dripping down my inner thighs, and I didn't even care. David untied my wrists and kissed each of them softly. He wordlessly led me into the bathroom and watched me with luminous eyes as he started the shower.
He pulled me into his arms and kissed me with such care and affection that it made me swoon. When the water was warm, he pulled me in with him and washed me gently and then himself. Afterwords, he dried both of us off and took me to bed, tucking me in close to his side with my head on his shoulder.
"I love you, Natalie." I heard him whisper into my hair as I drifted off to sleep. "Tye moe povitrya, bo
th of you."
***********
My ringing phone woke me Sunday morning. I opened bleary eyes and reached over to the nightstand and grabbed it. I groaned when I saw it was my mother calling. I briefly considered not answering it, but I didn't want to send her into a complete freak out.
"Hi, Mom," I greeted her with a sleep roughened voice as I glanced at David's empty side of the bed. As usual, he'd been up for hours already, and went out on a run a little while ago.
"Where are you, baby?" she asked in a frantic voice. "I just stopped by your apartment, and you weren't there."
"Mom, relax." I rolled my eyes as I sat up. "I'm at David's house, and I'm fine."
"Well, I hope he's taking good care of you," she said crossly. "If he's anything like your father, then he's completely clueless when it comes to pregnant women."
I had to keep from laughing out loud. Clueless was a word I would use for myself, certainly not David.
"Mom, David is a nurse, remember?" I said in a reassuring tone. "He's been taking care of me just fine." I didn't tell her that he was also driving me crazy and smothering the shit out of me, because I just now realized that he was acting like her. I shuddered, wondering how much more I could take between the two of them.
"Thank God," she huffed out. "You have no idea how lucky you are. He could have left you. He's so good to you. He's going to make a great father and husband."
Here we go with the marriage crap again. I let out a deep sigh as she continued obliviously.
"You really need to get on this wedding thing soon, honey, before you start showing. A Christmas wedding would be beautiful."
"Mom," I said with undisguised exasperation. "How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to get married this soon?" I held the phone in a white-knuckle grip. "And I definitely don't want to get married just because I'm pregnant."
"Don't you want to be a family with the father of your child?" she asked in worried tone.
"We don't have to get married to be a family, Mom," I said vehemently. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. "We've only been dating for two months. I'm not going to rush into getting married right now. I'm not ready for that."
You Are My Life: Breathless Book 3 Page 10