You Are My Life: Breathless Book 3

by Samantha Wolfe

  "Are you okay, Dad?" Emily asked me suddenly. I looked over to see her eying me closely.

  "I'm fine," I said, waving away her concern.

  She leveled me with a suspicious glare. "Are you?" Her disbelief was obvious.

  I sucked in a couple of deep breaths and nodded at her. "I'm good." I told her. "As long as I don't look down there again," I mumbled to myself. Who'd have thought I'd be one of those fathers? At least, I didn't pass out.

  The next thing I knew, it was time for Natalie to push again. This time she managed to get the head all the way out, at least according to Dr. Evans since I had no intention of finding out for myself again. Then they coached Natalie into one more small push, and the baby's shoulders and torso were out.

  "Time to cut the cord, Dad," Dr. Evans said as she smiled widely at me. Emily handed me the scissors and guided me through cutting it since my hands were shaking uncontrollably. Then I was staring at my goo covered son in awe as the doctor placed him gently on Natalie's chest. "It's a boy," the doctor announced happily. "Good job, Mom."

  "Hi, baby boy," Natalie whispered. "I'm your mommy." The beautiful and loving expression on her face as she gazed at her son took my breath away. "And this is your daddy." She looked up at me with the most gorgeous radiant smile I had ever seen. I literally couldn't speak. I just dropped down onto the edge of the bed and pressed my forehead to Natalie's and stared at Daniel's perfect wrinkly little face. He had dark curls plastered to his little cone head and the most perfect little fingers I had ever seen. His eyes were wide open and looking right at me. I could feel tears sheeting down my face now.

  "He's perfect, Natalie," I whispered hoarsely. "Absolutely perfect." I reached out with a shaking hand and caressed the side of his cheek with my fingertip. It was so soft.

  "Isn't he?" she asked with a sob.

  "I love you, Natalie." A sob escaped me, and I took a ragged breath. "This is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you."

  "You're welcome, David," she whimpered out as she weeped with joy. "I love you too, so very much." I wrapped my new family in my arms and vowed always to protect them, always keep them safe.

  My world turned on its axis, and everything was different now. My whole life was leading up to this moment, when nothing else mattered anymore, not my job, or my house, or any other meaningless detail of my life. My family was now my sole focus. They were my air, my love, my entire life. Nothing would ever be the same again. Nothing. I finally had everything I ever wanted or wished for, and I couldn't be a happier man.

  Epilogue

  Natalie

  It was my first moment alone with my son, with Daniel. I was breastfeeding him yet again, and he was latching on well and sucking down milk like it was going out of style. Even the nurse, who helped the first few times, commented on how well he was doing. He was beautiful as I watched him looking up at me with his little mouth latched onto my right breast, and his tiny body draped across my bare belly. He had soft dark curls on his head that I hoped would end up looking just like his father's hair as he got older.

  I glance up to where his father had been sleeping in a recliner next to my bed, and found him watching us with a warm smile on his face. I'd never seen such a radiant look on David's face the whole time I'd known him.

  "Good morning, my love," I told him softly, having all kinds of warm fuzzy feelings inside for both my baby and his father right now. The sun had just started to rise and lighten our birthing room through the gauzy curtains of the large window stretching across one wall. It was my baby's first sunrise, and my first sunrise as a mother. I felt myself getting all teary eyed.

  "Good morning, sweetheart," David murmured as he continued gazing at me. "I could sit and watch you nurse our baby all day. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

  "You should still be sleeping," I told him gently. I knew he had been awake most of the night before worrying about me before I went into labor. I also knew that the only sleep he'd gotten since then was the last hour or so when he passed out in that chair.

  "Might as well get used to sleep deprivation," he said with a wry smile. "Besides, I don't want to miss a moment of Daniel's first day." He motioned to his son with a nod of his head. How I loved hearing him say our son's name.

  I felt Daniel release my nipple, and I glanced down to see a sleepy look on his perfect little face. I wrapped my arms tighter around him and hugged him close, my love for him welling up and overwhelming me. I kissed his tiny soft forehead and watched him drift off to sleep.

  "Isn't he beautiful, David?" I whispered in an awed tone.

  "He is, Natalie," he answered quietly. "Just like his mother."

  I glanced up to smile at him. "Do you want to hold your son again?" I asked as I wrapped the baby back up in his little blanket.

  "I'd love to." He leaned over and we carefully transferred Daniel into his father's arms. I sat for a moment and stared as David gazed down at his little boy with so much love in his eyes it made me tear up yet again.

  "Now that's the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen."

  "How did we make something this perfect?" he asked softly as he caressed the baby's cheek with his fingertips then pressed a kiss to his head. I didn't answer him, because I didn't know the answer to that question. I just sat and watched them until I drifted off to sleep.

  When I woke up again, I opened my eyes to see that the nurse had come in to check on us. She smiled and nodded, then threw a meaningful glance to my left. I looked over to see that David had fallen fast asleep in his chair again, and that Daniel was still cradled safely in his arms and was sleeping too. I smiled at them, then at the nurse.

  "Do you need anything?" she whispered so she wouldn't disturb David.

  "Could I have some more ibuprofen and some juice?" I whispered. I was starting to feel pretty sore again and breastfeeding seemed to make me thirsty.

  "Sure thing. I'll be right back." She quietly left the room.

  My phone suddenly chirped with an incoming text. Luckily, it didn't disturb my sleeping boys. I grabbed my phone off the nearby wheeled hospital tray and saw that it was from my mother. She only got a quick peek at her grandson last night, before David asked everyone to come back in the morning, so I could rest. David was very serious about our privacy and wanted us to have a few hours for just the three of us. I'm glad he fought for it. We both needed the time just to relax and be together as a family.

  Her message was long and pathetic, and I felt bad for her. This was her first grandchild, and she deserved some time with him. I let out a resigned sigh. I wasn't looking forward to her drama, and I was exhausted.

  "Is that your mother?" David asked softly with concern. I glanced up to see that he was awake and watching me closely.

  "Yeah," I said with a sigh. "I suppose it's time to let in the masses."

  "I know," he smiled wanly. "I was really enjoying our little bubble for three."

  "Can we stay here for a week?" I asked him hopefully.

  "I don't think anyone's insurance is that good, sweetheart," he answered with a wry smile. "But don't worry. When we get home, I'm issuing a visitor ban for at least a few days, that way we have some time to adjust."

  "Good." I sighed in relief. I knew David would enforce it too, no matter what my mother said. He was my biggest advocate and protector over the last twenty-four hours. I knew that he was the only thing that kept my mother out of the birthing room last night. Her presence during the hardest day of my life would have made it so much worse.

  "I'll let my family know they can visit now, if that's okay."

  "Okay," I agreed. "Ford needs to meet his new nephew too." I couldn't wait to see my brother hold Daniel, and see his face when he found out about the baby's middle name.

  A half-hour later, Mom burst in with my brother following close behind, who thankfully offered to pick her up and bring her in. She was way too emotional to drive today. He was pretty good at managing Mom when sh
e freaked out on me. He wasn't as skilled as David, but between them both, I felt confident that Mom would remain relatively calm, for her anyway.

  Mom came directly to me and started fussing over me, but David skillfully distracted her by offering to let her hold her grandson. He got her settled in the chair next to me, then fetched Daniel from his hospital bassinet and settled our baby gently into Mom's arms. She was immediately enamored with him, talking softly and cooing to him. It was adorable, and I started to cry again.

  "Meet your new grandson, Daniel," I told her through my tears. Mom met my eyes and started crying herself.

  "He's the most glorious thing I've ever seen, honey." We sat and cried and stared at my son for several long minutes. David and Ford gave us our moment and chatted quietly nearby.

  "When do I get to hold him?" Ford asked a little while later as he approached the foot of my bed, eying his nephew longingly. I'd never seen Ford react like that to a baby before. It was astounding. Mom immediately stood at his request.

  "Have a seat, honey, and I'll hand him to you," Mom said as she nodded toward the recliner.

  Ford sat down and looked terrified as Mom eased the baby into his huge tattooed and muscled arms, showing him how to support Daniel's head and body. My baby looked even tinier with an imposing man like Ford holding him. My brother stared down at Daniel's face and put his finger inside the baby's tiny little fist.

  "He's so little," Ford murmured. "I'm afraid I'll break him."

  "You're doing just fine, honey," Mom said reassuringly.

  "Meet your nephew," I told him with a smile. "Daniel Ford Mazur."

  Ford's head swiveled toward me abruptly, his eyes wide and startled.

  "You...you gave him my name?" he asked in a tremulous voice.

  "Of course," I answered with a grin. "You're one of the best men I know."

  I watched my brother's jaw clench, and his eyes grow glassy with emotion.

  "Thank you, Natie," he whispered. "You don't know what this means to me."

  "You're welcome, Ford. I love you, big brother."

  "Love you too, Natie." He lapsed into silence. I think to get a hold of himself. It was the closest I had ever seen Ford to actual tears since we were kids. I shared a meaningful look with David. David nodded at me with an understanding smile. We made the perfect choice for Daniel's middle name.

  A few minutes later, my dad showed up, but for once my parents actually got along pretty well. I guess they were too focused on their new grandchild to pay much attention to each other. Dad only got to hold Daniel for a little while before the baby started fussing, and I knew it was time to nurse again. David quickly ushered everyone out of the room to give us privacy while I nursed. It was a welcome reprieve. Even when they got along, my parents being in the same room stressed me out. I ended up falling asleep while Daniel was latched on, and I didn't stir until David touched my face gently to wake me.

  "My family is here to visit," he said quietly so he wouldn't wake the baby, who had finished nursing and was sound asleep on my belly. "Can I let them in now?"

  "That's fine, David," I mumbled sleepily. He helped me wrap Daniel up in his blanket and pull my gown back on to cover myself. David left for a moment and returned with his family in tow. Baba came up to the side of the bed, her face filled with joy.

  "Oh, kokhana, he is gorgeous," she said, her accent thicker than normal as she gazed at my baby. "Just look at how perfect he is. Miy malenʹkyy pravnuk." I knew from David that she had said, "My little great grandson." I still struggled to speak the little Ukrainian I learned, but I was getting pretty decent at understanding it.

  "Dyakuyu." I thanked her in Ukrainian, and her eyes lit up.

  "What is his name?" she asked me.

  "Daniel Ford Mazur," David answered as he came up next to her.

  She gasped and covered her mouth as she turned to look up at David. He gave her a warm smile as he put a hand on her shoulder. Tears poured from her eyes as she began to sob. David gathered her into his arms and held her tight.

  "What a precious gift you have given me," she whispered through her tears. "Thank you, David. Thank you, kokhana."

  "You're welcome, Baba," I sobbed out. David acknowledged her gratitude with tears in his eyes.

  After that, Baba, Aleta, Diana, Tony, and even Joe took turns holding Daniel, every one of them fussing over him and telling me how beautiful my baby was.

  Then David's father arrived with his wife, Valerie. Jeff tentatively entered the room when David let him in, with his wife following close behind. Things were still tense between Aleta and Jeff, and David and Diana had been spending time with their father without her being around. I think Aleta preferred it that way. I imagine seeing Jeff was very painful for her, and I didn't blame her for avoiding him. Aleta and Joe announced that they were leaving almost immediately, but Baba stayed when Diane said she would take her home later.

  "Hi, Natalie," Jeff said as he stopped next to my bed. "It's good to see you again."

  "You too," I said with a smile. I really liked Jeff, and his presence had gone a long way toward making David a happier person. "Hi, Valerie," I told his wife. She was a petite woman with long vibrant red hair, and I liked her too. She glanced up from looking at Daniel to smile at me.

  "He is absolutely the cutest newborn I have ever seen," she said with a shake of her head.

  "Isn't he?" I knew I was biased, but my baby really was adorable. "Do you want to hold him?" I asked her.

  "I'd be honored," she answered as her smile widened.

  "You can hold him next, Jeff," I told him as Valerie carefully took Daniel from me and sat down in the recliner. A terrified look came over his features.

  "I...I don't about that, Natalie." He shook his head. "I've never held a baby before. I don't want to hurt him." He looked over at his grandson with worried eyes.

  "Nonsense, Jeff," Valerie told him in exasperation as she rocked Daniel. "You're going to hold your grandson today." Her tone was firm, but Jeff pursed his lips doubtfully.

  "You'll be fine," David came up and put a hand on Jeff's shoulder. "I trust you, Dad."

  Jeff looked startled, and so was I. It was the first time that David had ever called him Dad. I don't think David even realized that he said it until he noticed his father's surprised reaction.

  "Okay," Jeff said quietly, a flicker of emotion in eyes the only acknowledgment of what had just happened.

  "Good," David added as he ran a hand through his beard nervously. I think he was afraid to acknowledge it too. His budding relationship with his father was still so foreign and new to him. I met David's eyes and gave him a reassuring smile. This was a huge step, and I hoped it was a sign of good things to come.

  A few minutes later, Valerie and I coaxed Jeff into the chair, and David lowered Daniel into his grandfather's arms. Jeff was stiff as a board for several moments as he stared at Daniel like he might shatter.

  "It's okay, Dad," David reassured him as he knelt next to the chair and laid a gentle hand on the baby's head. "Relax, you won't hurt him. I promise. He's tough, just like us."

  Jeff snorted out a laugh at that, his eyes getting glassy at the second time that David called him Dad, and managed to relax. I looked at all three of them, three generations sharing this moment together. I could see a resemblance between all of them now. They all had the same nose and eyes. I could just barely see it in Daniel's tiny face, but it was there nonetheless. I watched Jeff and David fussing over Daniel and felt peace come over me. This moment would live in my heart forever as the day David's family was finally complete, and I couldn't be happier for him and for the future of our family.

  ***********

  I was woken by the inexplicable sound of dull thumps and someone singing. I opened my eyes in the dimly lit hospital room, and tried to register what I was hearing. I glanced to my left to see David standing near the window, framed by the darkness outside. I could see fireworks going off distantly through the window. Oh yeah, today was the
Fourth of July, and my baby's birthday.

  A male voice began singing again, and I was startled when I realized that it was David. I had never heard him sing before. His voice was smooth and clear as he sang quietly in Ukrainian, rocking back and forth on his feet as he held his son. He was looking down at Daniel lovingly, cradling the baby safely in his strong arms.

  When he finished his song, he glanced over and smiled at me, his eyes filled with love and joy. My heart sang with my love for this man, and the little life we had brought into this world. He walked over and gently placed our baby in my arms, then leaned down to give me a sweet yet heated lingering kiss before he sat down in his chair next to me.

  "How are you feeling, sweetheart?" he asked as he reached out to run his thumb across my lower lip.

  "Tired, and sore, and so very happy, my love," I answered warmly.

  "Good." He leaned back in his chair and rubbed at his beard. He seemed nervous, and I didn't really know why. Maybe he was just tired or worrying about his dad.

  "What song was that?" I asked, trying to distract him from whatever was bothering him. He'd talk about it when he was ready.

  "It's a Ukrainian lullaby that Baba used to sing to Diana and me."

  "What's it about?" I asked curiously.

  "It's about a little boy who catches a butterfly in a garden and puts it in a jar. Then his sister begs him to let the butterfly go, and he ends up setting it free. It's called Metelyk. That means 'butterfly'."

  "It was beautiful, David." I reached out with my free hand and took his in mine. "You should sing more often."

  "I'm planning on singing it to Daniel every night," he said with a serious expression. "I'm going to be the father he deserves." His voice started to break. "I'm always going to be here for him, and for you, Natalie. I swear. I don't ever want to miss a single moment of our new family's life together."

  "I know you won't." I squeezed his hand reassuringly "We're in this together, my love. Remember?"