by Lily Zante
“I made macaroni and cheese.” Heather’s voice carried over from the living room. The whole downstairs was open-plan with the kitchen separated from the living room by an island. Two comfy buttercream-colored sofas, placed adjacent to one another in an L-shape, also demarcated the start of the living room area.
“I didn’t know whether you’d come home today, so I ate without you.” A reference to her not always being at home, even during weekday nights. Melissa ignored the comment.
She contemplated the macaroni and cheese, took the glass lid off and looked longingly at the nicely golden pasta. Screw reducing calories. She touched the pot. It was still warm. She piled up her plate and sat down at the kitchen island.
Heather walked over, carefully lifting up the bottoms of her lounge pants to prevent her toenails from smudging. She gave Melissa a devilish grin. “When?”
“When what?”
“When am I going to meet this boyfriend of yours? I mean”—a tone of exaggerated intrigue peppered her words—“now that things are all serious between you both.”
Melissa ignored the drama in her friend’s voice and didn’t rise to the bait. She didn’t feel so confident that a meeting was going to take place anytime soon. She’d run the idea by Matt a few times—suggested that he come back to her place since she didn’t always want to end up at his. He shared with two guys she’d met briefly a few times. But Matt’s place was small and cramped. It was a typical guy’s place, his room full of computers and hardware, messy, with clothing and shoes and books and bags strewn all over.
It wasn’t only that. She liked to think he cared enough about her, about their relationship to at least show some interest in where she lived. She liked to think he’d consider coming over to hers so that she didn’t always have to travel back home late at night. She liked to think he cared about her.
He always avoided the topic and so far had never taken her up on the offer. He didn’t seem particularly interested in meeting her friends: not Heather, whom she considered her best friend out here, nor her friends from work.
Come to think of it, Matt hadn’t shown any interest in meeting anyone in her life. “I’m not sure.” Melissa lifted a forkful of macaroni cheese to her mouth. “Besides, things aren’t all that serious,” she replied, wondering how it was possible that macaroni could make her so happy.
“You’ve spent more time with him than with any of the others. And he got you to go to the gym!”
Ignoring that comment, she asked her, “When did you make this?”
“When I got bored waiting for you. Diana’s off in Japan, god knows how long for, so it’s just the two of us for a few weeks I guess and ever since you found love,” she said in a singsong manner, “I’ve got a lot of time to myself.”
The good thing about Diana was that they hardly saw her. She attended lots of conferences and seminars, not only in the US but abroad too, and she was almost always away. Even when she was here, they hardly saw her. It was as if they had a beautiful home all to themselves.
“I don’t see him all the time. We can still do stuff together.”
“He might have a friend!” Heather sat down beside her.
“That’s the reason you want to meet him?” Heather’s love life yo-yoed up and down and she changed guys with more frequency than she changed her hair styles. “What’s wrong with that? He might have some gorgeous friends.”
Melissa was in between pushing another spoonful of warm, creamy pasta to her mouth and responding to her friend’s desperate pleas for a romance. The pasta won out. The taste of it, with the creamy cheese and stodgy macaroni that melted in her mouth, was the very thing she needed tonight. Matt had been a bit moody for the rest of the day and luckily she’d had been so busy at work that she didn’t have time to mope around wondering why.
“He might not,” Melissa said, suddenly feeling uneasy about introducing her friend to Matt. With his moods, which also yo-yoed up and down, things might not go too well.
“It is pretty serious then?” Heather persisted, taking note of Melissa’s introspective silence.
“We’ve only been together a few months.” Her going to the gym was in no way an indicator of the state of their relationship. But him taking photos of her and calling the shots was. She’d challenged him a few times, even gone so far as calling him a pervert. He’d taken that as a compliment. She’d tried to find the photos on his phone and delete them but he’d come back into the room when she was going through it, and in the end, in order to not have a fight about it, because he’d caught her red-handed, she’d ended up letting him snap away at her in her underwear. But she refused to take off her top.
Her chest heavy, Melissa’s mouth turned dry and she pushed away her plate, feeling none too hungry all of a sudden. These were the things that weighed on her mind. And she wasn’t sure any more about Matt. About them.
“A few months is good going.” Heather droned on.
Thankfully they weren’t in each other’s hair all the time and managed to see each other a couple of times a week, not counting the mornings in the gym. But sometimes the guy could act like a complete shit, like he had this morning.
An image of the guy at the coffee shop flashed into her mind just then, and her heart skipped a beat. She almost smiled.
“When can I meet him?” Heather twittered.
“Who?” replied Melissa, already making plans to go to the coffee shop tomorrow, gym, or no gym.
“Matt.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” sighed Melissa, wishing Heather would shut up. She and Matt were supposed to be going out to see a movie at the end of the week. Dinner and a movie on Friday night.
“I’ll sort something out, I promise. Can I have the rest of the macaroni?”
Chapter 7
Melissa came out of the washroom, all made up, a touch of lipstick and her hair brushed to a sheen. She was slowly getting used to her crack-of-dawn drills, and she had to admit, her body felt tighter, firmer. Her skirts and trousers were a little looser, too. She felt more energized, and her skin glowed.
All thanks to Matt.
She was slim, but she was no stick insect. Neither did she want to be. But this business of working out was starting to pay its rewards. She liked the newer, leaner, more svelte Melissa.
“Hey, you.” Ethan had turned up to meet Nadine.
“Hey, stranger,” she greeted him in excitement. “Long time no see.”
He hung around her desk. “Nadine’s in a meeting with Michael,” Melissa explained, “she should be out soon.”
“Thanks, I’ll wait around.” Ethan glanced at her and she was reminded of how gorgeous he was all over again. She hadn’t seen him since the weekend of the marketing convention way back during the summer.
“How’re things with you?” he asked, hooking his fingers into the pockets of his somewhat fading stonewashed jeans.
“It’s always mad here; you must know that by now.” Of course he’d know, being Nadine’s boyfriend. He’d know firsthand.
Ethan laughed. “Oh, I know it. I’m glad to have her back. Her month out there dragged on too long.”
She glanced at him and smiled, as she tidied her desk stacking the pens, pencils and paper away neatly. “You missed her? I missed her more.” Melissa sat down, powered off her machine and gave him a cheeky grin. She knew this wasn’t true at all—no matter how much she’d missed Nadine being around at work, this guy plainly worshipped her.
Whatever it was that had caused Nadine to be subdued a few days ago seemed to be fixed between them because Ethan looked his usual cheerful self. He hung around her desk, looking ever cool, ever sexy in his dark blazer and white T-shirt. How did Nadine manage to concentrate at work with a guy like that to go home to each night?
“I heard it hasn’t been easy for you this month either, and you didn’t even have the luxury of going to Europe. I think you should ask your boss for a bonus.”
“She protects me from a lot of the politics ar
ound this place.” Melissa kept her voice deliberately low, in case Sandra’s hound-like ears picked up her words.
“You’re looking well—for someone who’s had a hard month at this place.” Ever the charmer, Ethan instantly put everyone at ease. He wasn’t a grimy, sleazy kind of guy, nor was he a flirt. He was easy to be around, and as gorgeous as he was, she didn’t have a secret crush on him.
If anything, she was thankful that Nadine had finally found someone who rocked her world.
Melissa brushed a lock of hair out of the way. “If you’re planning on taking her out tonight, I think Nadine could do with some bullfrogs.” The pace had been brutal lately.
“Bullfrogs?” he asked, leaning in. “They did the trick back then.” He laughed at the memory and she recalled the two of them colluding together at the company weekend away where they had gently plied Nadine with a little more alcohol than she could handle.
“I got to see a different side to her,” confessed Melissa. It had been an eye-opener. It had been the first time that Nadine had brought Ethan and he’d managed to do the impossible: he got her to relax.
“It was a fun weekend.” Ethan’s face brightened.
“I hope we can do another one next year.” Although, as an office assistant she wouldn’t be able to bring her partner the way senior management were allowed.
As things stood, she wasn’t sure she’d want Matt there. Sometimes he could make her feel inconsequential with his sarcastic remarks.
“It’s been hectic ever since she got back. Back-to-back meetings most days.” Melissa leaned in, as though speaking in secret.
“Thanks for the advice. I kind of knew,” he replied in as hushed a tone.
“Are you ready?” Matt’s stern voice cut a gash through their conversation. Melissa turned around and caught his pinched expression.
“I’m ready.” She jumped up. “She’ll be out soon,” she told Ethan.
He gave her a reassuring smile. “I’ve waited all month for her; I’m sure I can wait a little longer.”
She turned from Ethan’s happy face and stared into Matt’s miserable one. An introduction was in order, even though she felt hesitant. “Ethan, this is Matt.”
Ethan sloped off the desk and shook hands with Matt. “Nice to meet you.”
Melissa turned to Matt. “This is Nadine’s boyfriend, Ethan.”
“Hi.” A monosyllabic response. Typical.
“Maybe we should all hook up sometime. The four of us?” suggested Ethan. “Sounds like we’d need more manpower to help Nadine relax.” He winked at Melissa, who wanted to smile back, but didn’t.
“See you around,” she said instead.
“Bye,” was Matt’s only response and Melissa prayed that Ethan hadn’t noticed anything untoward in this exchange.
Matt took Melissa’s hand as they waited silently for the elevator.
“It would be nice, going out with them,” said Melissa.
“Who’s he?” Matt asked once they were in the elevator going down.
“Nadine’s boyfriend, I just introduced you.” Her body tensed in preparation for his onslaught. He was in a mood for it, she could tell, could almost pick up on his negative vibe. It was odd how she’d suddenly become so in tune with Matt’s mood swings.
“You seemed very friendly with him.”
She jerked her head towards him. Up until now she’d been staring miserably at the closed doors, waiting for him to start something. “He’s a friend.”
“A little too friendly for my liking.”
“He’s Nadine’s boyfriend. He’s someone I know through her.” A shot of anger sparked through her, yet fear kept her response neutral.
When the doors opened, they walked out, hands apart. Melissa gave the security guard a friendly nod of her head on her way out.
“Do you have to be so friendly with everyone?” They stood in the dark, outside the gleaming, shiny, lit-up office building, which looked like a beacon reaching towards the midnight blue sky.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she shot back, unable to keep her anger down. She was part liquid, part fire with him, most times. She’d analyzed things between them enough to come to this conclusion. She was fluid, doing, going, bending to his will, without even being conscious that she was doing so. He’d find a way to always get what he wanted. And occasionally, the part of her true to herself, the essence of who she was, wouldn’t lie still. And she’d bite back.
“Don’t talk to me like that,” he warned.
“And don’t you talk to me like that.” It was the first time she’d ever challenged him so directly and with such vehemence. Fighting to dull her anger, her mind raced ahead to the remainder of their evening.
More hours of misery loomed.
Not a good way to start if they were meeting Heather at Zoot, a new bar a few blocks away. She attempted peace, and placed her hand tenderly on his arm. “Ethan is with Nadine. We were only talking. You’re the guy I’m dating.” He tugged his crossed arm away from her touch and looked out on the road. But she was desperate for this evening to go well. His immediate agreement had been a total shock when she’d made the suggestion to him that they meet her roommate.
“I’m sorry.”
She attempted to gently uncross his arm. He turned to her slowly, with an empty stare. “I don’t want to lose you, Mel. But sometimes, you make me so mad.”
She slipped her hand down until she met his and held it.
“I don’t want to be jealous, but I can’t stand to see you with someone else.” His voice was flat.
“It’s okay.” She couldn’t give him any reassurances when she didn’t feel them herself. But it touched her to see him, someone so arrogant and so sure of himself, crumple as he had before her. Why was he so insecure?
“I’m crazy about you,” he told her.
“Me too,” she replied, because there were no other words she could pull out of the air at this moment that would sound genuine. He moved his head toward her, and she closed her eyes, letting him kiss her. She pulled back first and looked deep into his eyes.
“Let’s go and meet Heather. She’s looking forward to it.”
Chapter 8
They sat across the monochrome table in uncomfortable silence waiting for Heather.
Zoot was filling up quickly with sharp-dressed, happy people looking for a liquid buzz at the end of a work day.
“How much longer are we going to wait?” Irritated, Matt threw back his coke. He didn’t drink during the weekdays owing to his strict diet and fitness routine during the week. He let up a little on Friday and Saturday nights. He’d looked at her with disapproval when she’d ordered her a daiquiri.
Scratching her neck, she looked around yet again. Come on Heather. Melissa swore in her head. No sign of her.
“She’ll be here soon. She’s got farther to come,” Melissa reminded him. She let her fingers trail around the tip of her glass. She’d been looking forward to going out tonight, until the encounter with Ethan. Now she wished she hadn’t arranged this evening at all. It would have been easier to go home alone.
She had a lot of things to think about and quiet time at home would help clear her head.
Because sometimes, lately, single life appealed.
She couldn’t take on another person’s mood swings; it had been far easier to handle her own low points. But Matt was something else. She wasn’t used to dealing with behavior so menacing, so crass, so cruel.
What had once seemed wild and daring now threatened her.
She glanced at her watch again, letting out a sigh. So far she was only about half an hour late, something that shouldn’t be too much of a problem, not for two people who were supposed to enjoy each other’s company and would have ordinarily relished the time they had alone together.
“I can’t stay long. I’m missing out on my run.” He made it sound as though she’d asked him to do some painful chore instead of meet a friend for a social drink.
“Are y
ou coming to the gym tomorrow?” he asked her, his frown indicating that he didn’t expect her to. The gym wasn’t too bad, she realized suddenly—it was his presence that she had begun to dread. His sullen voice started to annoy her, like an itchy scab that needed to be picked: hard to ignore but there.
She shook her head. “I’ve got heaps of stuff to do for Nadine.”
“Shouldn’t it be calmer now that she’s back?” he asked, for once expressing a bit of interest and losing the miserable face for a change.
“You’d have thought.” She tried to smile, but his expression turned cold and pissed off again, wiping what little smile had begun to form. So she gave him only the facts. “She’s in charge of a lot of high-profile accounts here.” Things in the department had been getting busier. It wasn’t only Nadine who felt it, or Mitchell and Sandra, who also felt the pressure. Lower down, the administrative staff were starting to become overwhelmed too.
And with all that was going on, Mr. Zimmerman was spending more time in Europe. Rumors had it that the company was going to downsize in the US and expand further into Europe. She’d need to speak to Nadine to get the lowdown.
Matt’s glass of diet coke was almost finished and she herself needed another drink. She’d guzzled the first one down fast. As she looked over to the crowded bar, she saw the shock of tousled blonde hair that stood out a mile away. She’d arrived. Turning, her friend found her. Their eyes met and Melissa waved. Relief settled in.
Matt looked over his shoulder. “About time, too.”
“Sorry.” Heather gaped, looking first at Melissa, then at Matt. She beamed a wide smile, and Melissa watched, analyzing her friend’s reaction.
“Hey,” Matt managed a smile.
“At last, we finally meet!” Heather took off her navy woolen coat and settled into her chair, making herself comfortable. She gave Melissa a quick knowing wink, signifying Matt’s hotness and her seal of approval.
“Let me get some more drinks. What would you like, Heather?”
Her friend giggled, then flicked her hair back over her shoulder. “Whatever Melissa had,” she said, looking at her iced long-stemmed cocktail glass.