Dirty Truths

by Renee Miller

  Coming around the bar, he paused behind her. Kristina shivered as the warmth of his breath reached the back of her neck. “Don’t worry, he won’t be back. You better tell me next time you have a problem, before it comes to that.”

  Kristina dropped the damp towel and turned to face him. She paused startled at the force of his gaze, his eyes so dark they appeared almost black. “I can’t do this Wade. I’m sorry, but I’m going to see if I can get my job back—”

  “What? No fucking way.”

  “I can’t do this and I keep screwing things up. I’m just not cut out for this place.”

  “The customers love you, although a bit too much sometimes. You take home more in tips than anyone I’ve seen yet.” Wade reached out and brushed her bangs from her eyes, his gaze softened and he smiled. “You’re our comic relief. What am I going to do without you? I can’t spill the drinks myself.”

  “Funny.” Kristina looked at her hands, noticing for the first time she still wore her wedding rings. She covered her left hand with her right. “Seriously, Wade, why would you keep someone who is terrible at their job?”

  He sighed, glancing at her hands. He frowned and shook his head, then looked at her with a crooked grin. “You aren’t terrible. Your drink to table to floor ratio is improving. Don’t let one bad incident make you give up. That’s not the girl I remember.”

  Kristina stared at him, trying not to laugh. He was right. She had improved. A bit. But the fear Sam forced to the surface made her remember Daniel and all she wanted to run away from. She hated that she could go back to a spineless coward so easily.

  “I guess if I quit then guys like him win.”

  Wade put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Exactly, and I will never let it happen again. So? You’ll stick it out? I’d hate to have to drag you in here kicking and screaming every night. It’s bad for business.”

  “I guess so, as long as you can afford the damage.”

  “For you, I’d pay any amount.” Wade grinned and walked toward the office.

  Kristina stood for a moment, her breath caught in her throat.

  For you, I’d pay any amount.

  She picked up the towel, draped it over the little sink under the bar and picked up her tray. If only it were true.

  CHAPTER 7

  “Did you see Sammy yesterday?”

  Two men sat at the end of the bar nursing their beers. Jimmy and Mark, or Ren and Stimpy—as the bar staff affectionately called them—were like fixtures. Wade might as well have nailed them to the stools and give them a fresh coat of paint now and then.

  Kristina wiped the counter. The bar wouldn’t fill for at least another hour but these two arrived at the same time each night, gossiping like old women until the wee hours. She wondered how they did it day in and day out. How they could afford it.

  “Yeah, Wade adjusted his attitude, didn’t he?” Mark raised the glass to his mouth.

  At the mention of Wade’s name, she moved closer.

  “Sam always did think he was hot shit. Fuck, Tommy said he came into work with a broken nose and his arm in a sling. He walked with quite a limp too. Told the boss he had a car accident and needed a couple weeks off.”

  Kristina paused, dismayed at the memory of Wade’s bloodied hands and disheveled shirt. Did he break the man’s nose? Two weeks off work?

  “I heard he broke some ribs too,” Jimmy said.

  Kristina looked up.

  Eyes wide, Jimmy grinned. “You don’t fuck around with guys like Wade. He doesn’t take shit from anyone. Good way to find yourself in a ditch bleeding out. Remember the guy who ratted on the Brotherhood? They found him on the highway, right outside the cop station so messed up they put him in a nursing home. I heard it was Wade who put him there. Guy’s got fucking balls I tell you.”

  “Yeah, Sam’s lucky Wade wasn’t doing a hit. Still, I don’t think we’ll see him around for a while. I could have told him to keep his hands to himself. Wade’s soft on that one.”

  Kristina’s cheeks warmed when Mark pointed a stubby finger in her direction.

  They continued to talk, as though the bar between them provided a sound barrier.

  She moved away, heart pounding, pressure building in her chest. After a glance at the clock, she walked to the door and flipped a light switch to turn off the overhead lights. The dim pot fixtures that ran down the center of the bar lent a pale yellow glow to the room.

  “Hey! Why’d you shut the lights off? Now we can’t see those pretty eyes,” Jimmy called.

  Kristina smiled. Every night she worked Jimmy said the same thing when she turned off the lights at nine o’clock. “Sorry Jim, you’ll have to look closer I guess.”

  “Tease. Where’s Wade? Isn’t he supposed to be here by now? Lazy prick.”

  The door clicked shut. “Lazy what?”

  Kristina turned on her way back to the bar.

  Wade stood, hands on his hips, a mock scowl on his face.

  Jimmy held up his hands defensively. “Uh, you must have heard me wrong. I said you were a nice guy who deserved a little holiday.”

  “Oh is that what you said?” Wade laughed and pulled out the stool next to them. He nodded to Kristina and she grabbed a tumbler from below the sink to get him his usual rye and Coke.

  “I hear Sammy had an accident last night,” Mark said, and paused to tip the bottle to his mouth.

  Kristina had to smile at his audacity.

  “He had to take time off work.”

  “Really?” Wade murmured.

  Kristina kept her gaze on the bar as she handed Wade his glass. She shivered when his long fingers brushed hers.

  “I can’t imagine what happened to him. He was fine when he left here.”

  Mark snorted.

  Kristina looked up from the sink, to catch Wade’s gaze. He winked and she turned away.

  When the door opened and a group of girls filed in, Wade got up from his stool, said his goodbyes to Mark and Jimmy and walked into his office behind the bar.

  Most of the night Kristina worked in a haze; her mind distracted by what Wade had done. She should have been upset, at least unsettled by it, but no one had ever stood up for her like that. Although she didn’t like violence, it didn’t stop the giddiness that took over as she remembered the intensity of his gaze when he helped her off the floor. Wade cared for her, not the way her body wanted him to, but enough to defend her.

  Her gaze wandered to him as she wiped tables, while taking orders, and when she cleaned glasses at the end of the night. No longer did she see her dad’s friend, but a man. Someone she knew nothing about. Now and then, he caught her staring and winked. Then, she would look away, embarrassed, but her gaze would drift back for another glimpse of his crooked smile.

  She had to stop. Kristina scolded herself for her silliness while walking home. Wade had a wife and he was almost old enough to be her father. He wouldn’t ever cross the invisible barrier between them. Although she knew it was stupid she wished things could be different. With Daniel around, a relationship with any man was impossible. Daniel wouldn’t allow it. Yet, the thought of Daniel tangling with Wade made her laugh just a little. There was a fight Daniel wouldn’t win.

  ***

  Kristina opened her eyes to sunlight and rolled over to look at the clock. “Shit.”

  She jumped out of bed. With her mom and Cadence due any minute, she wouldn’t even have time for a shower.

  A knock on the front door and her mother entered. “Hello? Kristina?”

  “I’ll be down in a minute. I slept in, sorry.” Grabbing a T-shirt from the basket next to the door Kristina promised herself she would put the laundry away at some point, although it never seemed to happen.

  When footsteps sounded on the stairs, she picked up the jeans she’d worn to work and struggled into them but gazed longingly at the blue track pants folded neatly on top of the basket. Her plan for the day included going out, and she made it a point not to look like a bum anymore if she
could help it.

  “Sorry hon, but I’m late for work.” Her mother pushed the door open and entered the bedroom, Cadence resting on her hip. The baby grinned and held her arms out.

  “Hey Monkey,” Kristina took her after giving her mom a hug. “I know, sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I kept her longer this morning because your dad decided to feed her ice cream last night and she was up so late. I let her sleep longer so she wouldn’t be grumpy for you.”

  “That’s okay, she probably loved it. I’ve been trying new stuff. But I do it early, in case it doesn’t agree with her.”

  Her mom rolled her eyes and kissed Cadence before heading down. Kristina followed making faces at her daughter as they descended the stairs. Cadence giggled and clapped her hands.

  With Cadence settled into her highchair a few minutes later, the smell of brewing coffee teasing her nose, Kristina leaned on the counter and gazed out the window. Another sunny day, maybe they’d walk across the road to the river and test the water.

  Another knock at the door and Kristina rolled her eyes. She glanced around the living room hoping to see what her mother could have left behind. Finding nothing, she opened the door. Her smile faded and she moved back. Daniel stood with his arms crossed, a scowl on his face.

  “Well?” he asked.

  “Well what? I don’t know why you’re here.”

  “Um, I think I still have a daughter who lives here, unless you’ve managed to take that from me too.”

  Kristina stepped aside, her good mood chased away by Daniel’s darkness. “You do know tomorrow is your day, don’t you?” She followed him into the living room.

  He spun around forcing her to skid to a halt. “What’s this about the bar?”

  “I—what do you mean?”

  “What do I mean? You are working there aren’t you?”

  Kristina’s cheeks burned. She knew he’d be pissed but dared to hope after she’d worked the first week without comment, he’d decided it wasn’t worth arguing about. She couldn’t be so lucky. “I don’t have much choice. I make more money there in three days than I did working two jobs for seven. I can spend more time with Cadence.”

  Something clattered in the kitchen; Cadence had thrown her plastic keys to the floor.

  Kristina walked around him to pick them up. “I’m not bugging you to pay the support you never give me, so I don’t see why it should bother you.”

  His footsteps sounded on the carpet behind her, then on the kitchen floor. Dizzy with fear, Kristina bent over and picked up the keys, setting them back on Cadence’s tray before turning around.

  Fury clouded his eyes.

  She’d sworn not to let him do this to her anymore but stepped back anyway.

  He smirked and moved closer. “So tell me, how much does a blowjob next to the dumpster pay nowadays? Forty, fifty bucks?”

  Kristina opened her mouth and then closed it, unable to speak. Her body shook, but rather than allow him to draw her into a fight she spun around and walked to the sink. “You came to see your daughter, there she is. Have your visit and get out of my house.”

  Her head jerked back as he grabbed her hair and she stumbled against him.

  “Whose house? The paperwork says it’s mine. Don’t forget that. You think you can just do whatever you want without consequences?”

  She closed her eyes, his breath hot against her cheek as he held her against him, one hand in her hair the other around her waist.

  “I won’t have a slut raising my kid. We’ll see what the judge thinks of a mother acting like a common hooker.”

  He released her, shoving her into the counter.

  Kristina stood for a minute, her hands on the white laminate, and stared at the steak knife lying next to her thumb. If only she had the guts. Instead of picking up the knife and making a fool of herself she turned to face him.

  Skirting the chair she’d moved to make room for Cadence’s highchair earlier, she walked toward him. “No judge would take her from me just because I work at a bar. There’s nothing wrong with it. We’re not married anymore, so you can’t order me around like I’m your slave. I’m not scared of you, Daniel, so if you only came to bully me, you can leave.”

  Daniel grabbed her arms. His fingers bit into her skin.

  She winced as he squeezed, his arms shaking from the force of his anger. Her fingers tingled, and she struggled to break his hold. Daniel shoved her away from him and Kristina, startled by the sudden push, stumbled backward over the chair. It toppled with her, the legs catching her shin. Her head smashed against the stove.

  “I’m visiting my daughter and I’ll leave when I’m ready to leave. This is still my house.” Daniel pulled Cadence out of the highchair and walked to the living room.

  Kristina sat stunned, rubbing her shin. She moved when Cadence cried out, stumbling to her feet and wincing at the stabbing pain in her leg. She rubbed a small bump forming on the back of her head and gritted her teeth. Although she knew the rumors about Wade being a murderer weren’t true, she wished they were just long enough to get rid of her ex-husband.

  Daniel stood at the window in the living room, staring out at the empty street. Cadence sat in her bouncy chair, her face scrunched into a scowl. Kristina walked to her before she let out the wail she was forming and picked her up.

  “You’ll quit the bar tomorrow. I will not have a whore raising my daughter.”

  “I’m not quitting.”

  “Yes, you are.” He didn’t wait for her answer, turning on his heel and walking to the door.

  The house shook when he slammed it shut behind him. Cadence jumped at the noise and cried out. Kristina shushed her and held her close, swaying back and forth to soothe her.

  Outside Daniel’s truck roared to life, tires squealing as he pulled out of the driveway and sped down the street. Kristina walked to the window, her gaze on the skid marks his tires left behind.

  This had gone on long enough. They weren’t married anymore and Daniel had no control over her. If she continued to let him dictate her life, she might as well walk down the aisle again and paste a sign declaring she was a doormat where everyone should feel free to wipe their feet on. No, she wouldn’t do it. She would not quit.

  CHAPTER 8

  The Sunday crowd usually had the girls running off their feet until at least midnight, but this week was quiet. Wade stood at the cabinet behind the office door, searching for the next month’s schedule he was certain he’d put in there. He had to post it soon or they’d be nagging him about it.

  His office looked like a bomb exploded; papers covered the desk and no amount of organizing seemed to clear it. Cases of booze lined the right wall, stacked five or six high. Wade often stared at them and wondered when they’d topple over on him. One day they had to. The opposite wall held a large bulletin board with pictures of staff parties, a calendar with everyone’s hours scribbled in his hand and flyers announcing the current month’s bands playing. Somehow, he’d managed to fit a computer and keyboard on the cramped desk, but papers managed to slip under and on top. It never stayed in the same place. He’d lift the keyboard to search for something and never put it back in its original spot when he found what he’d been looking for.

  He’d had a desk lamp, but didn’t know where it ended up. It disappeared in the chaos soon after he brought it in. The filing cabinet he’d forced behind the door, with several hooks screwed in the wall above for everyone’s coats, aprons, and purses. Often when he had to look in the old beast he wrestled with the clothing hanging above just to open and close the drawers.

  Kristina’s voice drifted to his ears; she murmured something he couldn’t make out. He paused to peek around the door. Sheila stood beside her, smoking a cigarette and gazing at a small group of customers playing pool.

  “I think this is all we’re getting tonight,” Sheila said, examining her nails.

  She had them done at the salon although Wade thought any five year old could paint them purple with pink he
arts on the tips. But he didn’t voice his opinion. Women were strange about those things.

  Sheila was a nice girl, he’d even been attracted enough to take her home when she started working for him a couple of years ago. They agreed—after Amy raised a stink and Wade realized he had nothing in common with her—they’d be better as friends. He paired her with Kristina because they seemed to fit. He trusted Sheila too. She would look out for Kristina like a mother hen. The other servers—two women in their forties—preferred working afternoon shifts alone, so Wade left the busier shifts to Kristina and Sheila. His wife opened the bar Monday through Thursday although Amy made sure he knew how much she hated it.

  “Hey, what’s that?” Sheila touched Kristina’s left arm.

  Wade drifted closer to the door. An angry looking bruise, deep purple lines, four of them—fingers—marked Kristina’s upper arm.

  “How did you get that?” Sheila asked.

  “I—” Kristina paused, and pressed her lips together.

  Wade waited for her to explain, his gut tightening when she flushed and clasped one hand over it. “My ex-husband got a little angry the other day. I bruise really easily. He just grabbed me. Nothing major.”

  Gripping the door, Wade barely noticed the rough wood biting into his palm. The image of the prick tossing Kristina around triggered a red haze in his brain. Even if she bruised easily, it would take a lot of force to leave marks like those.

  “His temper just got the better of him.” Kristina continued to defend Daniel. “He’s not nearly as bad as he used to be. Barely touches me now and he’s really trying to manage his anger.”

  “A man trying to manage his temper doesn’t leave marks like that, sweetie.”

  “He really isn’t so bad. I should have kept my mouth shut when he got irritated. If I’d kept my own temper in check, I don’t think he’d have snapped like he did. It looks terrible, but it’s not. Hardly even hurts.”