Dirty Truths

by Renee Miller

  Hoping to avoid a conversation, Kristina averted her gaze and pretended to be extremely interested in Cadence’s babbling. She almost made it to the milk cooler; all she needed to complete her shopping trip, when Mrs. Connelly cleared her throat.

  “Goodness, long time no see, Mrs. Riley.” The old woman pushed her cart into the aisle. To get away from her, Kristina would have to run her over. So tempting.

  She gripped the cart and closed her eyes before turning around, a friendly smile planted firmly on her face. “Mrs. Connelly, nice to see you. I’ve been around. Just working a lot.”

  “Yes, I heard since you abandoned your nice husband you’d taken to working in that place.”

  “The bar? I don’t know any nice husband, but I have been working at Dirty Truths.”

  Mrs. Connelly frowned and nodded. Her silver hair, pulled murderously tight and coiled into a bun on the top of her head, looked dull and greasy. She wore a long dress that grazed her ankles with chunky white shoes. Apparently she enjoyed playing the shrew. “I really like you, and I know you’re young and probably not as experienced as I am, so I’m going to give you some advice.”

  Kristina lost her smile and her cheeks burned, but she waited for the woman to finish. No point in causing a stir, she’d only run with it and make things worse. She didn’t usually resort to profanity, not in front of people anyway, but the words ‘Fuck you, you miserable old bitch’ stuck in her throat.

  Mrs. Connelly leaned close and patted Kristina’s hand. “Married women don’t work in places like that. Not respectable women anyway. If you hope to fix your marriage, you’d do well to consider what direction your life is taking.”

  “I don’t want to fix my marriage.” Kristina paused when Mrs. Connelly gasped, then she smiled. “I don’t think there’s any need to go back to a man who nearly cost me my life. Daniel is sick and he won’t get better. And the bar, well, I enjoy it. Besides, I don’t believe where I work is anyone’s business but my own.”

  “This is your problem. People talk you know, no matter how well you think you hide it. Everyone knows what you’ve been up to.”

  Kristina pushed her cart, forcing Mrs. Connelly to back away. “What have I been up to?”

  “I know about what you do at night, with that man. So does Daniel.”

  Kristina shivered, and then a hot, suffocating feeling of prickly heat, moved over her body. What did the old bitch do? “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re behaving no better than a two dollar whore, and the poor man is doing his best to repair his broken heart. I told him last week he was better off without you if you’re going to act like a harlot with a married man. Poor dear still loves you, although I can’t imagine why. He said he’d talk some sense into you and I suggest you give up this nonsense and listen to him. See what a good man you had.”

  “I don’t know where you think you get off,” Kristina stopped and took a breath, forcing her voice to a conversational level. “You know nothing about me or what I do in my private life. You definitely know nothing about Daniel. He is a bully and a cheat. He doesn’t help to support his daughter and he still knocks me around. Did he tell you that? His kind of love left me bruised and broken, and his girlfriend was around long before I finally had enough. Not exactly what I’d call a nice boy. This talk he’ll have with me will end in something bruised or broken, or worse. Does it make you happy to know what he’ll do to me? Do I deserve to be beaten because I’m trying to provide for my child?”

  “It’s reality honey; men like to run the house. If they stray now and then, a good wife turns the other cheek. I’ve been married thirty years and couldn’t be happier. He’s strayed a time or two, but he needed to do it to see how lucky he is to have me.”

  “Thirty years? Is that counting all of your husbands?”

  Kristina pushed away from her, milk forgotten. Her only thought was to get home and try to reach Wade. She hadn’t seen Daniel in a few weeks and last night he’d left a message. He wanted to see Cadence. She should have known he didn’t call her out of a sense of fatherly duty. He had a bone to pick, and it promised to be a big one.

  ***

  The silence nearly drove Kristina mad as she waited for Daniel’s arrival. She picked up the monitor from the coffee table and played with the volume before holding it to her ear. She set it back down after listening to Cadence’s even breaths. She’d hoped Daniel would come while she was awake, giving her a buffer between them, although Cadence’s presence wouldn’t stop him from doing whatever he planned to do.

  She’d called Wade’s pager several times but he hadn’t called back. A voice in her head echoed her doubts, that he no longer wanted her. He was avoiding her. She told the voice to shut up. Wade wouldn’t behave so cowardly; he would tell her. Still, she had left their code for an emergency and he hadn’t replied. Either he couldn’t call for some reason, or….

  Kristina wrung her hands in her lap while she stared out the window at the empty driveway. The wind blew the leaves around in tiny red and yellow tornadoes. It would rain eventually, breaking the humidity of the surprise heat wave. She hated that the leaves turned so early, barely September and winter already teased her with its imminent arrival.

  Daniel’s truck rumbled in her ears before it turned the corner and headed toward her house. It didn’t slow down, swinging into the driveway and stirring up gravel and dust as he came to a halt. The door opened and he jumped out of the cab, slamming it behind him. He’d worked up a good fury. Kristina stilled her hands. Her palms were moist, she had to remain calm or he’d have control of this in an instant.

  She lifted her chin and walked to the door, opening it before he reached the top step, startling him. His brown eyes acknowledged her coolly, and he stepped up to the small stoop. “Expecting me?”

  “You did say you were coming.”

  “You must have been sitting there waiting for me. That’s a nice change.”

  Daniel brushed past her, his shoulder knocking her into the doorframe. Kristina closed her eyes and breathed slowly to steady her nerves before she followed him inside, closing the door behind her.

  “Cadence is sleeping.”

  “I don’t need to see her today. I can come back. It’s you and I that need to have words right now.”

  Daniel paced the living room, kicking Cadence’s blocks out of his way with a scowl. “Did you just stop cleaning? My daughter has to live in filth now, because you don’t have time for her.”

  “I have lots of time for Cadence. I didn’t pick up her toys. I’d hardly call it filth.” Kristina tried to walk casually to the window, hoping to hide the anxiety churning in her stomach.

  Stuffing his hands in his jeans Daniel leaned against the wall next to the playpen. He glared at her for a long moment before his lips curved. “You aren’t going to tell me are you?”

  “Tell you what?” Kristina met his gaze, willing herself to stand up and not give in to her fear.

  “I don’t know. Maybe something I have a right to know? Come on Kris, I know you’re not that stupid.”

  “Unless it has to do with Cadence and her wellbeing, I don’t think there’s anything you have a right to know.”

  He pushed away from the wall with such force the picture of Cadence, lying on her belly frowning out at the world, fell to the floor, the glass shattering.

  Kristina jumped back cursing herself for letting him frighten her.

  “You want to play games? Let’s play then.” Daniel reached out, grabbing her shirt in his fist and yanking her forward.

  Kristina gasped, but did not struggle. Fighting him made it worse, fueled the fire raging in him. “Daniel—”

  “No, not Daniel. Tell me about Wade. What are you doing with your so-called friend? And don’t even think about lying to me. I can read it plain as day on your face.”

  “There’s nothing to tell, my relationships are none of your business.” Kristina tried to sound firm, tough, but her voice came out on a shaky brea
th. Even she didn’t believe her words.

  Pushing her forward, Daniel removed his hand from her shirt. His fingers bit into her arms instead.

  She struggled then, the light in his eyes colder than she’d seen since the night she left him.

  He forced her against the wall. Her head jerked back and slammed against the paneling. She gritted her teeth. The arm of the couch pressed into her leg. Kristina used it to steady herself, her gaze on Daniel’s face, unable to look away.

  “I’ve let you make a fool of me long enough, it ends today. You hear me?”

  Kristina shook her head.

  He punched her side, burying his fist beneath her ribs. She wanted to curl up and cry, but waited for her breath to return instead. “I told you we’re done. You’re making a fool of yourself.”

  Daniel cocked an eyebrow and smirked, leaning in so close his nose touched hers. “Done? We’re a long way from done. You want to be a whore then I’ll treat you like one. How’s that? I bet you beg for it from him. Do you? Please Wade, fuck me.”

  “No, Daniel.”

  “I’m going to make you beg me. Remember how you used to plead for me to stop? I thought you knew better than to make me look like a fool, but I guess it’s time for another lesson. How would you like that?”

  Pain knifed through her chest, raw terror as Kristina grasped what he intended to do. She pushed at him, bringing her knee up between them. Daniel slapped her face.

  She staggered, tasting blood.

  “It’s good enough for Wade. I think I’ve earned the right to the same thing. Did I tell you I fucked his wife?”

  Kristina stared. “I don’t care who you slept with. You’re going to regret this, please let’s talk about it. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

  “Oh, I’ll find out what I need to know. I bet he taught you a few things. Just like he taught Amy. She’s an animal. Know what she liked to do?”

  “I don’t want to know.”

  “That’s a shame, because I’m going to show you.” He kissed her, his lips bruising and cruel.

  Kristina turned her face and he slammed her against the wall.

  Stunned, her mind screamed for him to stop but she couldn’t find the words.

  He threw her toward the stairs. She stumbled, her gaze on the door.

  “I don’t think so,” Daniel leaned over her and balled a fist in her hair, dragging her toward the stairs.

  With no option but to follow or risk angering him to further, possibly more dangerous aggression, Kristina trailed after him.

  He reached the top of the stairs and pushed her toward her bedroom.

  Kristina regained her footing and turned to plead with him to stop. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

  He advanced too fast for her to think. “Did he fuck you in here? In my bed?”

  “No, nothing happened. Don’t do this, Daniel.”

  “Liar.” He wagged a finger and nodded to the door. “Get in there.”

  Kristina backed down the small step to her bedroom, the walls shrinking around her. She realized he was really going to do this and she couldn’t stop it. She could fight, but he always overpowered her. She could scream, but who would listen? How many screams had they already heard coming from this house and no one answered? Blood pounded in her ears, her vision blurred and she started to cry.

  Daniel’s hands went to his shorts.

  She shook her head. “No, stop it. I know you don’t want to do this.”

  “But I do. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, but you don’t treat your wife like a whore. That’s just not done. Of course, you aren’t my wife now, are you? You’ve made that clear to everyone. Now, I’ll treat you like the slut you are. I’m sure you’ll love every minute. Make sure you scream real loud, so the neighbors know it’s not Wade fucking you.”

  Daniel let his shorts fall and he stepped out of them, advancing toward her.

  Too late Kristina realized she backed into the corner next to the dresser and faced the bed. It loomed before her, mocking her. Just a week ago she had lain there, tracing Wade’s mouth, mumbling nonsense about ‘someday’. Then he’d pulled her in his arms and—she choked on the memory.

  Daniel pressed against her, his mouth on her neck and she pushed at him. A laugh, low and menacing, rumbled in his chest sending a chill down her spine. Kristina felt his hands on her shirt, tearing it from her body and then her shorts, she resisted but still he managed to push them down to her knees. She wanted to fight him, but the last time he’d attacked her like this, he’d gone into such a rage. This time he might do worse.

  His hands roamed over her, bruising, hurting, and he whispered what he would do. Kristina closed her eyes, hot tears streaming down her cheeks, their salty taste filling her mouth. Daniel pulled her from the wall and toward the bed. Forcing her to her knees at the end of it he leaned over her, his hand in her hair. Kristina stared at the bed, and felt herself slipping.

  Promise me some day, you, me, and Cadence will take off together. Run away from it all.

  Wade’s voice whispered and she felt her mind go. Drifting between Daniel’s rough hands on her and Wade’s soft kisses, she struggled to hold on to reality.

  Daniel moved behind her, shoving her around as though she were a rag doll but Kristina wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction of seeing how he damaged her soul with his actions. She’d get away some day, but not before Daniel paid for this.

  The floor suddenly slammed against in her face, the carpet scratching her cheek as Daniel forced her down, his body on top of her, then inside. Kristina squeezed her eyes tight and wished him away. She heard Wade again, laughing softly, teasing her, his hand on her hair. He wouldn’t get away with this. Daniel had a weakness. She just had to find it.

  ***

  Somewhere in her mind, she heard Cadence cry. Kristina forced her aching body from the floor. Daniel had left more than an hour before, promising to return. She shuddered as the feeling of his hands and his words filtered back through her mind. Nausea rose in her stomach. Her mouth filled with saliva. Lunging from the room, Kristina stumbled down the hall to the bathroom. She leaned over the bowl and retched as Cadence’s cries grew louder. She had to have seen her running past her door and now she was angry. But Kristina couldn’t stop now. As though a floodgate had opened, her body convulsed and she sobbed as she hung over the toilet.

  Slowly it ebbed. Her stomach ached but didn’t revolt. She stood. Grabbing her robe from the door she wrapped it around her, gazing longingly at the shower. She desperately needed to wash him away. The stickiness between her legs combined with a dull ache reminded her with each tiny movement of what he’d just taken from her.

  Cadence had to come first and she had to pull herself together if she hoped to stand against Daniel. Kristina walked to her daughter’s room, her mind attempting to push the last two hours far from her thoughts. She picked Cadence out of the crib and walked toward the stairs. She felt numb. Even her baby’s cheerful grin could not shake the sense of disbelief and denial hanging over her.

  Settling Cadence on the floor with her blocks, Kristina jumped when a rap sounded at the door. Her eyes darted to the window and almost fainted at the empty driveway. Not Daniel. She ran to the door.

  Wade stood in the early evening shadows, his eyes weary and his mouth set into a grim frown. “Can I come in?”

  “Of course you can.” Her instinct was to unload and tell him everything, but something about the set of his shoulders and the tone of his voice stopped her.

  “What did you tell Amy?” Wade stood next to the window, peering out at the street before turning to her. His eyes were red rimmed and he looked so tired.

  “Nothing. Why?”

  Wade slammed his fist against the wall, rattling the window.

  Kristina jumped, hugging her arms around her.

  “She’s a fucking bitch, that’s why. You don’t speak to her anymore. Is that clear?”

  Laughing, already on the edg
e of hysteria, Kristina shook her head unable to believe he thought it was possible. “Are you serious? First of all, she’s friends with my mom, and second, you aren’t at the bar, she is. How am I supposed to not talk to her?”

  Wade shoved away from the window and walked toward her.

  Kristina flinched when he grabbed her arms and jerked her forward. A bubble of dread burst inside her at the look in his eyes. His face flushed, he stared so intently at her she had to look away. She didn’t recognize the man squeezing her arms so tight her hands tingled.

  “I’m telling you to stay away from her. If I go to jail because of her, she’ll regret it. You don’t want to be mixed up in her shit. I don’t want you mixed up in it.” He snapped. Then the veil lifted from his face and he let go with a frown of confusion, as though not sure what he was doing.

  “Why would she do that?” Kristina asked.

  “There are some things going on. Things you’re better off not knowing. But Amy is in deep and she’s trying to bury me. She doesn’t care who she shoves down there in the process. I’m sorry I got a little crazy. I just can’t stand to see you hurt.”

  “Okay.”

  He ran his hands over his face.

  She moved to put her arms around him, needing the embrace.

  Wade welcomed her, kissing her face, her lips and running his hands over her back. “God, I wish I could hold you forever and just forget this bullshit.”

  Kristina remembered the bruises, the traces of Daniel littered over her body and she froze. Wade couldn’t know this right now. He might do something reckless.

  “I can’t though, I’m sorry,” he said, releasing her. “Can I bring something here? Something I don’t want you to look at. Just put it away so Amy can’t hand it over to the cops? I should have gotten rid of it a long time ago but there wasn’t time, and now, well now they’re watching me and I can’t get rid of it.”

  “I can’t look at it?”