by M. Sembera
Hert explained, “I was thinking if I just take two days for the wedding like a Friday and a Monday then that gives us four days. After we are married, I can take six weeks paid leave from work when my wife has a baby.”
I was thrilled by Hert’s reference to me as his wife.
Kissing him again, more aggressively this time, I was caught up, until Hert whispered, “See if you had married me ten minutes ago when I said, this wouldn’t be an issue.”
Sneering at him, I replied, “Oh Hush!” before thinking he had a point and admitting, “Okay. Next time I’ll listen. Come on I’ll make us dinner.”
As I got up Hert grabbed my waist leaning in, he whispered, “No she won’t, your mama never listens,” right at my belly, before looking up at me with a smirk.
After dinner, we sat on the couch with my head on Hert's lap while his hand rested on my belly. The thought of becoming Mrs. Herterand was pulsing in my brain.
Turning on my back, I looked up at him and suggested, “I think the next time Emerson calls we need to find out when he will be home. Then we can set the date. I don’t want anything big but I do want to get married in a church.”
Smiling down at me, Hert agreed, “Whatever you want.”
Continuing, I said, “I also don’t think we need to send out invitations and all that. We can just let whoever we want to come know when it is. Right?”
He answered, “Right, sounds good to me.”
Feeling productive, I suggested, “Jackson said he’s off day after tomorrow. I think I’m going to get him to drive me into town so I can get some stuff, maybe have lunch and really just get out of this house for a while.”
Concern spread across his face as he discouraged, “I don’t think that’s a good idea Renni.”
I disagreed, “Well, I think it is. There’s nothing for me to do here all day and Jacks will be with me. My doctor’s appointment is next week and that’s not going to be a fun day out. I have to or I am going to lose my mind.”
He gave me an apprehensive glare as I asked, “Do you want me to lose my mind? Do you?”
Skeptical, he agreed, “Okay, but Renni if anything happens to you….”
Quickly moving to his lap facing him, I assured, “Nothing’s going to happen. I promise.”
Leaning in I kissed Hert without restraint.
Grabbing hold of his shirt, I pulled him closer. Frantic from the feeling, I couldn’t get Hert close enough to me. Pulling his shoulders and wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed myself against him. Equally desperate Hert kissed down my chin and neck. As I sighed he slightly pulled away. Biting my bottom lip, I gave him a more than willing gaze. Hert placed his hands on the sides of my face and leaned his forehead to mine.
“If Roberts doesn’t get back soon, I’m going to Spain and dragging him back,” he insisted before softly kissing my lips again.
Hert’s kisses were slow. My urgency was now at a smolder, able to be rekindled at any moment.
Noticing the time, Hert informed, “I have to get to bed.”
Pouting a little, I agreed and walked with him upstairs. After our ‘I love you’ and ‘Goodnight’ at my door, I brushed my teeth and climbed into bed. Wishing Emerson would hurry home, I realized it wasn’t only so I could marry Hert. I really missed him. He didn’t call often and I wanted to talk to him, share my happiness with my friend. Deciding the next time Em called I would tell him I needed him to come home, I fell asleep.
Chapter 12
Excited to get out of the house and relieved that Jackson was happy to take me to town on his day off, we decided to go to The Store so I could get some maternity clothes and then to lunch. Although my belly wasn’t my biggest development at the moment, I picked up a few pants in a larger size. Dreading the idea of waking up one morning to find nothing that fit, it seemed like the smart thing to do. Hoping I would run into someone I knew or went to school with to share my engagement, I couldn’t help enjoying when the cashier caught sight of my ring. The look on her face was priceless.
Lunch was fantastic. I laughed so hard, I hardly ate. Our waitress happened to be the girl Jacks had taken home from The Bar the night that him and Em went out. Then it was comically awkward when Jacks could not remember her name and I had to point out that she was wearing her name tag. Realizing that meant he never took the time to get her name before he slept with her, I hid the twinge of jealousy I felt by giving him a safe sex lecture as he laughed at my suggestion to keep a log to help in this type of situation.
When she came back for us to order, I said, “Oh I wish I could have sushi but I’m not supposed to eat it.”
Jackson asked, “Because you’re pregnant?”
She looked like she was going to jump across the table and stab him.
Catching on to her 'I want to kill you leer', Jacks said, “We aren’t together, I mean we used to be, but we aren’t anymore.”
That just made things worse. He wouldn’t eat his lunch, certain she had done something horrible to it. A day out with Jacks was exactly what I needed.
After paying the check, we walked out of the restaurant. Jackson suggested I wait there while he brought the car around to pick me up. I agreed. Still not over the waitress ordeal, I continued laughing.
Turning when I heard a voice shout, “Hey,” I froze.
Feeling panic rising, I turned the opposite way looking for Jackson. My 'ignore it and it will go away' idea didn’t work as HE walked closer. I concentrated on keeping steady, placing both hands on my wallet to keep them from shaking.
Staring straight ahead, I didn’t answer when HE asked, “Where have you been hiding?” HIS voice was disturbing as HE answered HIS own question, “That’s ok, I already know.”
HE stepped around in front of me.
Grabbing my wrist, HE growled, “What’s this? You screwin’ Roberts now?”
Shaking my head, I announced, “I’m engaged to Hert.”
Tightening HIS hold on my wrist, HE shouted, “That’s who you’re screwin’!”
Outraged, I wanted to shout ‘no!’ back at HIM but that would ruin everything.
Keeping my voice even, I replied, “That’s really none of your business,” jerking my hand away.
HE stepped even closer and informed, “It’s always going to be my business.”
Turning my head to the side, avoiding eye contact, I looked down.
Leaning too close to my face, HE gritted HIS teeth, hissing into my cheek, “You’re a whore.”
I took a step back, relieved to see Jackson coming around the corner. HE saw the car and quickly walked away. I couldn’t wait for Jackson to pull all the way up; I dashed to his car, getting in quickly.
Jacks face was worried as he asked, “Was that?”
Hurriedly, I answered, “Yes! Take me home!” pulling my knees to my chest and placing my face in my hands.
Visibly rattled Jackson, interrogated, “Did HE do something to you? What did HE say? Are you alright?”
Starting to cry, I ordered, “Take me home! I just want to go home!”
Back at the house, I rushed inside. Jackson was right behind me asking if I wanted him to stay. Nodding, I ran up the stairs. I could still feel his hands on me. I wanted to shower and wash all traces of him away. I scrubbed extra hard on my wrist where HE touched me and where I felt HIS breath on my cheek as HE called me a whore. Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around myself, lying down on the bed, I started to cry. How could I be so affected by HIM? Sickened by my own stupidity, I wondered what I ever saw in HIM. I could have had Hert all along but I wasn’t sure if that was really true. If Hert had proposed to me six years ago, I would not have said yes. Presently I saw him as more than a friend but I didn’t then. Upset by my own personal truths and still unable to comprehend how I could have lost the people I loved most for someone so revolting, I was grateful Hert, Em, and Jacks never gave up on me.
Debating on whether or not it was worth getting dressed, if I didn’t plan on leavin
g my bed for the rest of the day, I pulled the comforter over myself. I knew Hert would be home soon and Jackson would tell him what happened. He was right I never listened, even when I should. Knowing Hert would be furious with me, I started thinking of what to say to him.
I could hear Hert yelling at Jackson downstairs, “Why did you leave her there? I don’t care if it was just for a minute to go get the car. What would you have done if you got there and she was gone? Huh?” then the front door slammed shut.
Sure I was next, I covered my head with the comforter. My door swung open and Hert rushed into my room.
Quickly at my bedside, he frantically asked, “Renni, are you okay? What happened? Did HE hurt you?”
Not remembering anything I planned to say, I shouted through the comforter, “No, I’m okay. I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
Disregarding my wishes, he ordered, “Get out from under there. I want to make sure you’re okay!”
Firmly holding the comforter over me, I shouted, “No!”
Grabbing hold of it from the other side he sternly commanded, “Let me see you and make sure you’re not hurt!”
Both of us had a firm grip, tugging the comforter back and forth. Scooting around trying to keep from being uncovered my towel unwrapped from around me. Hert finally wrestled the comforter away from me, pulling it and my towel all the way off the bed.
Stunned he stood there wide eyed, before turning his back to me and fussing, “Why don’t you have clothes on?”
“I had a towel on, but you pulled it off with the comforter.”
Looking down he picked up my towel and tossed it over his shoulder to me. Wrapping the towel back around myself, I got up and put clothes on.
“I’m dressed now, you can turn around,” I shared hoping to get this discussion over with.
“I…I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were...weren’t dressed,” he stuttered.
Thinking the incident may have done me a favor by side tracking him, I raised an eyebrow asking, "Did I look... okay? Or would you like to check me out again?"
He stared at me for a moment before reviving the issue at hand, “What happened today?”
Doing my best to downplay how terrifying it was for me, I rationalized, “Nothing actually happened. It was more like I was caught off guard than anything. I mean it was sickening, HE said HE knew where I was staying and wanted to know who the ring was from. I told HIM that you and I were engaged. That made HIM pretty mad then Jacks showed up. That’s about it.”
Searching my eyes for confirmation that I had told him everything, he stated, “HE needs to be reminded it is your decision. I’ll be back.”
Stopping Hert from leaving, I shouted, “Hey! You’re not going anywhere!”
Shocked, he shouted back, “Why the hell not?”
Lowering my voice I sat down on the bed and explained, “I don’t want you fighting. Besides nothing happened, all HE did was try to scare me and call me a whore. I have been called worse and I am fine, really. I don’t want you to go. So if you do you’re not going to defend my honor, you’re going because that’s what you want to do.”
Knowing I was serious, Hert sat down next to me, holding my hand, he pleaded, “Promise me you won’t go into town again unless I’m with you. Promise me Renni.”
Nodding, I promised, “Promise.”
Hert wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. I felt a little guilty hiding how shaken I was by my run in with HIM but he seemed upset enough by my edited account of what happened.
Even though I was pretending to be okay, I was still distressed and did not want to be alone.
Taking a chance, I asked, “Will you please stay in here with me tonight?”
Hert’s expression screamed 'bad idea'.
Trying again, I asked, “Please, I really want you to stay with me. Please Hert.”
He took a deep breath and said, “Okay. Let me go change. I’ll be right back.”
It seemed to take forever for him to make it back to my room but he did. Climbing into my bed, Hert laid down as far away from me as the bed would allow.
I turned facing him and whispered, “I love you. Goodnight.”
Making a divide in the comforter between us with his arm, Hert replied, “I love you too, Renni.”
Chapter 13
Confused, I looked around. I couldn’t figure out where I was. Starting to get up, I could sense someone else in the room.
Trying to be calm, I called out, “Where am I?”
HIS voice echoed through me as HE replied, “With ME.”
Horrified, I jerked myself awake, sitting straight up in bed. I began frantically scanning the room and was upset to see that Hert was gone. Uncomfortable with the idea of going back to sleep alone, I walked across the hall to his room and saw him sleeping through his open door. Quietly, I tip toed to his bed and climbed in. Making sure not to wake him, I slowly moved under the covers.
Barely opening my eyes, I could see Hert watching me.
He had a slight smile on his face as he asked, “When did you come in here?”
Not being able to recall the exact time, I answered, “I don’t know. I woke up and you were gone so I came in here,” before remembering how upsetting it was to find him gone after my nightmare, I scolded, “Why did you leave? I wanted you to stay with me.”
Pulling me to his chest, he apologized, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t fall asleep in there and I knew I had to get up early for work. You were already asleep so I came in here,” then kissed the top of my head and admitted, “Roberts is definitely a better man than me. I don’t know how he does it.”
As I snuggled in closer to Hert, lightly kissing his neck, I whispered “He doesn’t love me like you do.”
Knowing it was impossible to get up and brush my teeth without breaking the mood, I continued gently kissing Hert’s neck. His arms flexed around me as he held me tighter. Wanting to be even closer, I slid my hands under his shirt, over lapping them on his back guaranteeing no space between us.
Hert’s breath was heavy as he stated, “I have to get ready for work.”
Unwrapping my arms from around him, I moved them under the front of his shirt resting them on his bare chest.
Kissing up Hert’s neck to his ear, I softly suggested, “Why don’t you call in sick? Tell them you can’t get out of bed.”
With obvious difficulty, he rejected my suggestion stating, “If I call in sick then I won’t be able to go to your appointment with you next week.”
Taking a deep breath, I forfeited, “Fine. Then I’m going back to sleep,” before rolling away from him asking, “Is it okay if I stay in here? I don’t want to get up?”
Getting out of bed, he replied, “Sure,” with a smile.
I watched Hert walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Frustrated, I squeezed my pillow. Hert’s bed smelled just like him, making falling back asleep rather difficult. Gazing at my ring, I deliberated on the reasons we were waiting. I already promise myself to Hert, so what would be the harm in giving myself to him now instead of waiting. Maybe then we would both sleep better at night. It wasn’t a matter of want. We were both incredibly willing, just never ready at the same time. Presuming the only rational explanation, we should be married first.
Hert came out of the bathroom fully dressed for work.
Walking over to the bed, he stated, “I’m going to call Roberts when I get to work and tell him he needs to come home. That way you won’t be alone here during the day.”
Happy Em would be returning home, there was so much I wanted to tell him, I was a little confused.
“Jacks is still off, why isn’t he coming over?” I asked.
Hert seemed irritated by my question.
Sitting up, I fussed, “Oh come on, you can’t blame what happened yesterday on Jackson. What if it had been Emerson with me? Would you tell him to stay away from his own house?”
With a stern tone, Hert answered, “Roberts would not have left you
r side.”
Pretending I didn’t know it was the truth, I snapped, “Whatever! I’m calling Jacks and if he doesn’t want to come that’s fine but if he does you’re not stopping him. Yesterday was as much my fault as it was his!”
Shooting Hert a ‘so there’ look, I laid back down.
Hert shouted, “Fine!” as he walked out the room.
When I was sure Hert had left for work, I got up. In my room I picked up the phone and called Jackson. He accepted my invitation to spend the day with me. Taking a shower and getting dressed I thought about how unreasonable it was of Hert to be mad at Jackson. After all, he was trying to be courteous. How was Jackson supposed to know HE would pop out of nowhere and terrorize me?
Skipping down the stairs and into the kitchen, I made myself some breakfast. I quickly answered the phone when it rang hoping it was Hert, calling to apologize.
Finding Emerson on the line instead, he immediately informed, “I’m leaving to come home now. I’ll be back tomorrow night.”
Pleased he was finally coming home, I cheered, “Good, I really missed you. Jacks is on his way now but it’s just not the same.”
I could hear the smile in his voice as he replied, “I missed you too, Ren. See you tomorrow.”
Excited I was getting my friend back home, I couldn’t wait to fill Emerson in on everything he had missed.
Jackson walked in the back door, not his normal cheery self.
“Hey,” I greeted, wondering what his problem was.
Before I could ask, he apologized, “Ren, I’m so sorry about yesterday.”
Trying to ease his guilt, I placed my hand on his arm and assured, “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
He still appeared upset as he complained, “Do you know what could have happened? All because I wasn’t thinking.”
Agreeing, I stated, “Yes I do, but nothing happened. Yah, it was scary but…” pausing when he wrapped his arms around me, “I’m not going back. Emerson is on his way home and I promised Hert I wouldn’t go into town unless he was with me, so everybody’s fine.”
Pulling away with a skeptical look, Jackson asked, “Does Hert know I’m here?”