The Rennillia Series: Volumes 1-5

by M. Sembera

  Chapter 15

  Tossing and turning in a restless sleep, my mind conjured its own incomprehensible scenario.

  Standing in front of Emerson as he held my hands, I stared into his eyes. They were warm and soft melting my heart as always. I took a step back each time he took a step forward, never letting go or looking away until I felt something against the back of my legs. He released my hands as I slid to the far side of the bed. Turning my back to him, I laid on my side covering my face.

  “I can’t,” I breathed.

  His voice confused me, asking, “You can’t or you won’t?”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted.

  The feeling was unfamiliar. I didn’t know why I couldn’t. Questioning myself each time, I assured ‘I can’t’, I wondered why not. It wasn’t unpleasant being with him. It was like the feeling you have right before you fall asleep, comforting peaceful feeling. Something wasn’t right.

  The room was quiet for a moment before I could hear Em’s breath at my ear. I felt his fingers gently trail down the side of my neck. Kisses softer than I could recall followed. Emerson’s hand guided my waist pulling me closer. I turned to face him, craving the feeling when his lips touched mine. Kisses softer than before drew me closer. Suddenly, the feeling was clear. It felt like sadness and sorrow overwhelmed me.

  My eyes were teary as I opened them and saw Hert still sleeping. I was afraid. It was far from the fear that would accompany a nightmare; it was a chance I was not willing to take. If Hert found Emerson and he came back here, how could I risk the slightest possibility of my dream becoming a reality? As sure as I was about my faithfulness, I was well aware, it only takes one mistake. After a brief mental debate and a trip to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I woke Hert up.

  Barely opening his eyes, he muttered, “What time is it?”

  “I don’t know. Just get up,” I urged.

  Sitting straight up, he asked, “Is something wrong?”

  Noticing he was wide awake now, I said, “You fell asleep before I came to bed.”

  Getting up without saying a word, he walked to the bathroom. He was more than likely irritated I woke him but if I got my way, he would be able to sleep late in the morning.

  Crossing my legs in front of myself, I watched him walk out of the bathroom. Trying to appear sweet and serious at the same time, I waited for Hert to sit back down on the bed before I started talking.

  “I know you said you have to get up early, but why?” I asked.

  With a loud sigh Hert answered, “I told you. I need to find Roberts before I go out of town next week.”

  Nodding in agreement of the information, I continued questioning, “I understand that but why?”

  Slightly tilting his head and scowling he pressed, “Okay, why don’t you just ask me why he’s in trouble so we can get this over with and I can go back to sleep.”

  Working a little now at staying pleasant, I replied, “I want to know why you are the one that has to spend the whole week looking for him? I thought The Office would have people that can handle tasks like that. Does you finding him have something to do with why you are going out of town?"

  Hert shook his head and looked at me in disbelief and stayed quiet.

  “So when you find him, what is it that you’re going to do?” I asked, continuing to question him as a blank expression appeared on his face, I said, “I already told you I don’t want him here. So are you just going to tell him to behave himself? He’s a grown man Hert.”

  I knew Hert assumed responsibility for everything and everyone and made it his job to correct anything out of line. The problem is that no matter how much he wanted to assert control, we are always responsible for our own actions.

  Scooting closer to Hert, I slid my hand over his. Resting my head on his shoulder, I hoped what I was fixing to say would come out right.

  I advised, “Maybe this is something he needs to work out on his own.”

  Even though my intentions were insincere, I wasn’t wrong. My motives might have been completely self-serving but I was right.

  Continuing my advice, I added, “I know you think finding him is your responsibility but it’s not.”

  “You don’t understand,” he started to explain before I cut him off saying, “I know I don’t. I don’t understand how you can take a week off to go search for someone, who clearly doesn’t want to be found but I only get a day or two here and there.”

  Keeping my tone even and a light smile on my face, I suggested, “Instead, why don’t you spend your week off with your family.”

  Adjusting myself closer, I placed my arms around his shoulders. Waiting for him to react, I felt sad. This morning there was passion in his kisses, excitement in his eyes. The day Sophia was born he told me, ‘I don’t want you to ever forget how much I love you and that I always want you.’ What happened? It hadn’t even been a year and already the new had worn off. In an effort to tip the scales in my favor, I moved over, sitting directly in front of him. With an endearing look in my eyes, I placed my hand against the side of his face. Tilting my head, I smiled. His hesitation hurt and I lowered my hand.

  I started to move away, giving up on my attempt. Hert wrapped his arms around me holding me tight.

  “I wish you could understand. There’s a lot at stake here Renni,” he shared.

  Nodding into his chest, I replied, “I don’t have to understand. I just need to know that it’s still me that you want.” Pulling back slightly, I stared into his eyes and continued, “More than anything else. That I’m still….”

  Hert cut me off saying, “I do. You have no idea what all I’m responsible for Renni. What else can I tell you, so you know?”

  “I want you to show me, Hert,” I explained.

  Brushing his fingers down my cheek, he promised, “I want you. It must not seem like it to you, but I do.”

  I whispered, “Show me.”

  “I’m doing the best that I can,” he replied.

  Shaking my head at him, it was almost comical. My husband says he wants me, I say show me, and yet he keeps talking. Giving up, I lightly kissed his lips. Sliding away, I laid back down.

  I said, “I love you Hert. I do understand,” as I rolled onto my side.

  Hert wrapped his arm around me, lightly kissing my neck.

  The possibility that Hert’s obligations stretched him so thin that he was unable to realize I needed more from him provoked instant compassion. My own personal flaws were causing me to require more of him than he was able to give at the moment. Thinking about how selfish I was being and the fact that his love for me was never in question, I reaffirmed my promise to myself to be the wife Hert needed.

  Chapter 16

  Sleeping a little later than planned, I quickly got up and went into Sophia’s room. Finding her still asleep, I walked over to the room beside hers. Looking around at what was to be Hert’s office, I decided painting would be my chore for the day. I went back to my room. Changing out of my pajamas, I looked over and saw Hert standing in the doorway.

  Smiling at him, I said, “Hey, I didn’t know you were still home.”

  Smiling back at me, he replied, “I’m fixing to head out. Jackson’s downstairs.”

  A little surprised I asked, “Jackson’s going with you to look for Emerson”

  With a laugh Hert replied, “No, I thought you might need some help working on that room and he said he would be happy to help you.”

  Nodding, I said, “Oh, okay. I’m just painting today.”

  Hert walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. Sliding my arms under his, I rested my head on his chest.

  Hert kissed the top of my head, saying, “I know right now things aren’t really going how you want them to. I appreciate how good you’re being about everything.” I held him tighter as he continued, “This week is going to be busy and then I have to leave but when I get back, we’ll go somewhere.”

  I quickly looked up at him in disbelief. I stared into his eyes th
inking I couldn’t have heard him right.

  He explained, “I already talked to Mrs. Thomas. Sophia can stay with her for a few days. We’ll go wherever you want, just me and you.”

  Elated at the thought of Hert and I away from here with nothing to tend to but each other, I smiled wide.

  He smiled back, saying, “I need to get going; don’t work Jackson to hard.”

  He kissed me as I started to nod and I was happy. Maybe being a good wife wasn’t so bad after all.

  After Hert left and Sophia was awake, I brought her downstairs. Jackson was in the kitchen sitting at the table.

  Trying to be funny, I cheered, “Why Mr. Thomas, how good of you to take time out of your busy schedule.”

  Smiling the way only he could, Jackson replied, “Well, you know I still like to do what I can for the common folk.”

  Placing Sophia in her highchair, I laughed, “Oh, I’m common folk now?”

  Shaking his head at me with a wide smile, “You’re far from common, Ren.”

  Pretending to look serious, I clarified, “That’s better. Remember you’re working for me today.”

  Jackson rolled his eyes and laughed.

  We spent the day painting and poking fun at each other. Neither of us mentioned whose room we were in. I could only assume Jackson and I were on the same page. Both conflicted, removing his memory from the house. The only nostalgia we shared was from a time that involved just the two of us.

  Pointing to the open window, Jackson asked, “Been out on the roof?”

  “What? Oh, no. I was airing the room out,” I replied, shaking my head.

  Pretending to be serious, Jacks replied, “You better not be bringing anyone out on our spot.”

  Starting to laugh, I said, “I thought you didn’t like it out there.”

  “I liked it just fine until you pushed me off the side,” he declared.

  Refusing to agree, I refuted, “I did not push you off. You slipped and fell.”

  Laughing, he replied, “I slipped because you pushed me.”

  Defending myself, I corrected, “I lightly tapped you. And you fell off.”

  “Lightly tapped, my ass!” he exclaimed.

  I couldn’t pretend to be innocent anymore.

  Laughing again, I shared, “Okay, I did push you. I didn’t mean for you to fall off the roof though. But to be fair, you wouldn’t keep your hands to yourself.”

  Smiling, Jackson offered, “You can’t blame a guy for trying; besides I had already kissed you about a million times. How was I supposed to know sliding my hand up your shirt could be a death sentence?”

  It was probably inappropriate to recall now that I was married to Hert but still, it made us laugh.

  We ate dinner together and after Sophia was asleep for the night, Jackson and I sat downstairs on the couch waiting for Hert to get home. I couldn’t help staring at the scar above his eye and thinking how close I came to losing him.

  Smiling at him, I asked, “So anything new going on with you?”

  Jacks smiled back, saying, “Nah, The Office keeps me pretty busy. By the way, you’re in a good mood considering Hert’s out lookin’ for Roberts.”

  Shrugging, I admitted, “I tried to talk him out of going but you know how he is.”

  “He didn’t say it but I think he feels guilty,” Jacks divulged.

  I questioned, “Why would Hert feel guilty? I’m the one that kicked Emerson out and besides no one made him get himself into trouble.”

  Shaking his head, Jacks suggested, “I think it’s because Hert got everything,” as I tilted my head to question, he continued saying, “You, the company, everything.”

  Slightly irritated, I assured, “I wasn’t up for grabs and you know what? It’s not Hert’s fault Em didn’t have time to learn and then just gave up.”

  Jackson had a strange look on his face and I knew there was something else.

  Narrowing my eyes at him, I shook my head unsure of what was really going on.

  Jackson appeared hesitant as he said, “I thought the same thing at first too, Ren. That wasn’t it though. It wouldn’t have mattered who was running the company. Mr. Roberts left everything to Hert. Aside from the money he left to Roberts and the house in Spain that went to Mrs. Roberts, every property, investment and account all went to Hert.”

  Trying to pretend I couldn’t imagine why Mr. Roberts would do that, I replied, “He didn’t tell me.”

  It didn’t take long for me to wonder what was going on with the Old Office right outside town.

  Hoping my husband had nothing to do with HIS uncle’s presence at the old building, I had to know. Taking a deep breath, I knew in order to get a little, I would have to give a little.

  “What’s going on with the old building?” I asked.

  Shaking his head, Jackson answered, “I don’t know, it was sold.”

  I questioned, “To who?”

  As he shrugged I said, “Jackson, I need to tell you something but you have to swear you won’t tell Hert.” He nodded and I confirmed, “I’m serious. You can’t tell him.”

  I confessed to him, “After my visit with Hert’s mom, I remembered the old building. I thought maybe Emerson was staying there. I drove out thinking if I saw his car I could suggest Em might be there to Hert and then he wouldn’t have to spend all week looking.”

  Jackson broke in asking, “Was he there?”

  Slowly shaking my head, I continued, “No, but HE was… And so was HIS uncle.”

  Jackson’s expression was grim as he informed, “Ren, Salvador Parazzi is not a nice man.”

  With a heavy sigh I stated, “I know who he is Jacks.”

  “Then you know…” he started before I cut him off saying, “Yea, it’s not like I went looking for him. It was strange though.”

  Questioning me, Jackson asked, “What do you mean?”

  “Well, he wasn’t rude but he wasn’t really polite either. He gave the impression that he didn’t want anyone to know he was there.”

  Jackson’s face went from concern to curious. We stared at each other for a while before he started to really question what was going on.

  “That is strange. If the building doesn’t belong to the company, what difference does it make if he was there?” he said.

  Glad we were on the same page now, I asked, “What do you know about him?”

  Appearing disappointed, he admitted, “Not a whole lot. I know Mr. Robert’s and Salvador were in the orphanage together and other than that,” he looked down before finishing, “Just the stuff with your parents and Hert.”

  “And you don’t know who bought it?” I inquired.

  Looking inspired, he said, “Wait…Give me a minute I do remember 'cause it was funny when I prepared the bill of sale.”

  “Funny?” I questioned.

  Deep in thought, Jacks snapped, “Not ha-ha funny, odd funny.”

  I sat there quietly waiting for him to finish thinking. It was easy to forget how smart Jackson was. Recalling how well he did in school he always gave credit for his good grades to having a photographic memory.

  He finally spoke, saying, “Okay, the buyers name on the contract was Robert Manastro. I found it odd because Manastro was Mr. Roberts’ last name.”

  Not following, I asked, “Wait, What?”

  Jackson explained, “Not many people know this but Mr. Roberts name was Soman Manastro.”

  I questioned him further, “How is that possible? People would know. He went to school here.”

  “No, he went to school at the orphanage until high school. When he started there he used the name Mason Roberts. In fact his name wasn’t legally changed until he was twenty,” he informed.

  Surprised by his knowledge, I asked, “How do you know, then?”

  He shared, “When I transferred everything into Hert’s name there were a few properties still under Mr. Roberts’ original name,” adding, “You know Ren, I think Hert needs to know about this.”

  “Why?” I asked
.

  Jackson’s face was serious again as he concluded, “Because Ren, if Salvador bought the old building, under the name Robert Manastro, then something shady is going on. If it was on the up an up he would have used his own name. Hert wouldn’t have objected to Salvador buying it. He even seemed relieved when it was sold.”

  Putting serious thought into Jackson’s words I replied, “We don’t know that is what’s going on. For all you know it’s a relative. See what else you can find out about it and if that is it. Then I’ll tell Hert, okay.”

  Jackson agreed right before Hert walked in the front door.

  With Jackson gone and Sophia asleep, I sat on the end our bed waiting for Hert to finish in the shower. Hoping to do a little preplanning for our trip, I smiled wide when he stepped out of the bathroom. I refused to be disappointed when I noticed his unhappy expression. Watching him get dressed, I patted the bed with my hand, inviting Hert to sit next to me. He slowly made his way to the bed. As Hert sat down next to me, I placed my arms around his shoulders.

  I rested my chin on Hert’s shoulder asking, “Any luck?”

  Shaking his head slightly, he replied, “Nope.”

  “So what are you going to do now?” I questioned.

  Shrugging, Hert informed, “I guess I’ll start looking out of town.” Turning to me, he asked, “Do you know what’s going on?”

  Shaking my head at him, I couldn’t answer. After all, I had no idea what ‘goings on’ he was referring to.

  Hert lightly kissed my lips before unwrapping my arms from around his shoulders. He stood up walking around to his side of the bed. Lying down on his back, Hert folded his arms behind his head. I took a deep breath scooting farther onto the bed.