Uninvited (Etudes in C# Book 3)

by Jamie Wyman

  I stalked to the kitchen, and I wrenched open the cabinets with a growl, pulling down the necessary tools to perform javamancy. I didn’t look at him, and we didn’t speak. For a while, the only sounds were the slamming of drawers and the cauldron-bubble of percolating coffee.

  In my head, I argued with a voice that sounded uncannily like Flynn’s. Hand him over, it said. Don’t trust him, and don’t feel anything but anger for him. He doesn’t deserve you.

  I busied myself with getting the creamer and sugar bowl, two spoons from the drawer, and a couple of mugs. I filled the cups with French roast and set one of them out on the counter in the satyr’s general direction.

  Slowly, Marius rose and crossed to the kitchen, slouching on the barstool as he had the night before. His hands folded around the cup.

  As I stirred sugar into my own drink, I steeled myself for what I was about to say. “So what do we do?”

  “We?” he asked after a stunned pause.

  “Yes. We.” The coffee was bitter on my tongue. Was it just the brew, or was it the taste of what I’d just offered to jump into? “What do we do?”

  Marius straightened on the stool, wiping his palms against his torn, grimy jeans. He blew out a breath. “I wish I knew.”

  I closed my eyes and swiped at the air, trying to erase everything and start with a clean take on the situation. “Okay, let’s back up. Who exactly are we dealing with?”

  “Well, a friend of Hades stopped in to say hello. Offered to take me down to Tartarus for a weekend or eternity. Yama and his puppies came by and made it quite clear that half the Hindu pantheon would like to see me fed to Kali.”

  “Yama?” I asked, confused. “Not familiar with that one.”

  “Lucky you,” he sneered.

  I took a draught of coffee, wincing at the flavor. I dropped another heaping spoonful of sugar into the mug, stirring as Marius explained.

  “Yama was the first mortal to die. Shiva uses him as judge, jury, and—in my case—a willing executioner. He’s got a couple of hounds.” Marius stretched and displayed the slashes across his flank. “One of them got in a few good swipes.”

  If the spaces between claw marks provided any scale, the paws of Yama’s dogs were as big as dinner plates. Icy dread prickled over my body, and the fine hairs on my neck stood at attention just imagining such an immense beast. My palms were damp, and I swallowed down a lump of fear. “Anyone else?”

  “Let’s see, there’s our old friend Na’ar al Afrit.”

  “Afrit?” My eyes widened. “Fuck. The djinn from that job in Belize five or six years ago? The one whose lamp Eris asked us to steal?”

  “The very same,” he sang. “He sends his regards, by the way.”

  “Great,” I groaned sarcastically.

  That was when it hit me: I had a vested interest in helping Marius, and not just one born of kindness and wayward affection. If Eris had put out the word of the satyr’s transgressions, it would have implicated me, too. I’d been with Marius on more than one of those jobs. Like the Christmas trip to Belize in search of the djinn’s magic lamp.

  Shit. Helping Marius was officially in my best interest now.

  Massaging the growing ache in my temples, I closed my eyes. “This just gets better and better,” I muttered. “Please tell me that’s all.”

  “Aren’t you adorable?” His voice was sad and sweet, as if speaking to a naive child. “Not even close. If you’d like, I’ll stop listing the supernatural element and start in with the mortals that would like to discuss old financial sins…or that time I ran away with a certain Kennedy’s wife.”

  I let out a wordless bark of frustration. “God, Marius, why do you have to be such a bastard?”

  “Until recently, it has served me rather well.”

  “Yeah, and now they all want you dead.”

  “Some of them just want to eat my soul, which is—in the end—all the same thing, isn’t it?”

  “You have one?” I spat.

  He glared at me darkly. I gave a quick half shrug, half nod of apology and moved on. “So how can you get out of this?”

  “I’m sure a few of them would settle for a century or four of slavery and torture as compensation. I’d prefer it didn’t come to that, however. The only way I’m likely to get out of this entirely is to, as you say, find a bigger fish.”

  An obvious answer jumped into my head. “What about Loki? Or are you on his shit list, too?”

  “Not as far as I know. But he is not so easy for me to contact these days.”

  I looked to the ceiling and cringed. I should’ve known this was his real reason for coming to me. “How lucky that I have an in with that particular faction.”

  “It does help,” he admitted. “But I meant what I told you before: I came to you because you’re the one person who won’t sell me out. You’re a good woman.”

  I winced again, not wanting his words to worm into my good graces. I took a quick sip of coffee. Still too bitter, I scooped more sugar into the mug. “Anyone else? In terms of new bosses, I mean.”

  His spring-green eyes swam out of focus and his mouth dropped a fraction of an inch as he thought. I imagined him flipping through a massive Rolodex in his mind, skimming over names and contacts, and determining how they fit in his web.

  “None that I could get in touch with personally. But there’s someone I know who might be able to help. Assuming he hasn’t been swayed by Eris, that is.”

  “Fine. Give this guy a call.”

  “There’s a slight problem with that. For that matter, all my contacts may as well be burned. I lost my phone somewhere in my brawl with Yama’s dogs.”

  “Don’t you have a backup?” I asked, slipping into Tech Support Maven mode. “Hard copy of numbers or something?”

  He dipped his chin and stared down his nose. “I’m sorry, Catherine, but I didn’t have time to pack between Eris’s volcanic eruption and fighting for my life.”

  I stared at him blankly. For as long as I’d known him, Marius had contingencies layered six deep for every stage of his various games. The idea that he had only the shredded clothes on his back left me astounded. “You’ve really got nothing here, do you?”

  “I’ve got you.” A cheeky grin flashed his dimples. When it was clear that I was not amused in the slightest, he said, “I have a few good contacts if I can get in touch with them, and I’ve got a storage shed full of my things. It’s off the radar and no one knows about it but me. Some of the rarer items I have might be useful.”

  I nodded. “Fine,” I said. “I’ll help you find a new boss.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me yet,” I warned. “Besides, there’s still the matter of payment to discuss.”

  Marius folded his bare arms over the tile counter. “Ah, yes. That.”

  “If I help you, you owe me big-time. And I owe you nothing.”

  “I don’t think so,” he said stonily.

  I blinked in surprise. “What?”

  “You still owe me, Catherine Sharp, for helping you with that whole poker fiasco a few years back. I made good on that bargain. You have not.”

  “Do you really think I owe you shit after what happened the last time you slithered through town?”

  “Oh please,” he scoffed. “You may be a mortal, but you are not stupid. You know damn well that’s not how contracts work in our world. You already failed to remove this damnable curse of mine, and now you want me to forget our other agreement? No.”

  I simmered, arms crossed over my chest and nails digging into my skin. Marius’s eyes glittered with a playful glee. I recognized the look as one he wore well in our past disputes. Under it all, though, he was immovable as a mountain.

  Being me, I had to shove anyway. “Are you really in any position to argue with me on this? You don’t get to dictate terms here if you’re the one who needs help so desperately.”

  Marius sighed. “Look,” he started, “by granting me shelter here, you’ve already
aided me immensely. If you help me stay alive long enough to find a new employer, I will be further in your debt and more than happy to owe you ‘big-time,’ as you put it. But our previous dealings stand. Terrible as you may be at the whole thing, I earned a date.”

  I hated when he was right. I flinched and tried to cover it with another sip of coffee. “Dammit,” I breathed. “Fine. You’ll get your date. Beyond that, though, I owe you nothing. Ever.”

  “Agreed,” he said, his voice carrying a low thrum of power.

  He stood and rounded the counter into the kitchen. At first I thought he meant to shake on it or do something to seal the deal. Instead, he opened my fridge. After much rustling about, he turned around, brandishing a finger covered with a thick dollop of icing from my birthday cake. With a gloppy plunk, coffee spurted out of my mug as the icing dropped in. He stirred it until the coffee went from black to a light, eggshell brown, then tapped the spoon twice on the rim.

  “There,” he said, the utensil clattering onto the counter. “If that’s not good enough, nothing will ever please you.”

  He padded away then and fell casually onto my sofa before gasping as Linux pounced on him. My boy’s not too careful with the claws, so he probably upset some of the more tender spots on Marius’s stomach. Soon, though, the pair fell into a steady rhythm of worship and acceptance—Marius worshipped with belly rubs while Linux purrfully accepted the offerings.

  My next sip of coffee was splendid. Scratch that. It was divine. It melted over my tongue in a burst of sweetness, warmth, and caffeinated goodness. I stared at the liquid voodoo in my mug, then drained it.

  I restrained myself from groaning in frustration. Of course, Marius was right. Again. He was one of those nonhumans hell-bent on making my life difficult. For years I’d denied the fact that I even found him attractive. Then shit happened. A lot of it. Regardless, yesterday I thought I’d had a clear picture of my feelings about Marius. Now, with him here on my sofa, snuggling my cat, I had to wonder if once again I had been deluding myself.

  Without another word, I breezed into my bedroom, past the rumpled, bloody sheets and straight into the hottest shower I could coax from the pipes.

  What the hell had I just agreed to?

  Chapter Four

  “Tougher Than It Is”

  “First things first,” I said, careful to put as much authority into the words as I could. “You’re not staying here. Mrs. M might be deaf, but even she would notice if these hellhounds show up. I refuse to put her in harm’s way again, not for anyone, let alone you.”

  “All right,” Marius said. His voice rose in the slightest of questions.

  “I’ve got another place you can stay,” I explained. “It’s off the map and under all sorts of protections. You’re not likely to run into much trouble there.”

  I gathered my bag and my phone, then made sure Linux had enough food in his bowl.

  Procrastinating, that’s all you’re doing.

  Kicking this particular hornet’s nest was going to sting. Flynn was going to be pissed…

  I swiped my keys off the counter. “Come on. We’re leaving.”

  His eyebrows rose. “Now?”

  “Yes. Now.”

  He stood and gingerly slipped into his worn leather jacket. He’d thrown away the T-shirt. It wasn’t good for anything but rags at this point anyway. He reached out to open the door, but I caught his elbow.

  “We’re not going that way,” I said.

  “Secret passage through the bookcase that leads to your underground lair? Once there, we’ll speed away in the Catmobile? Is that it?”

  I ran my thumb over the slick black plastic of one of Flynn’s inventions. It looked like any other keyless entry fob, but it didn’t unlock my car. The fob sported a single button marked with an orange power symbol. The glyph began to glow as I willed my energy into it. When my panic button was ready, the light throbbed with the rhythm of my uneasy pulse.

  “The Catmobile isn’t here,” I murmured.

  His eyebrows knit together now. “Where is it?”

  I gripped his arm in the tight claw of my left hand. I squeezed the fob, pressing the button, and the orange light flared out to create a tunnel. For an instant, the rabbit hole yawned into eternity, its walls swirling with fiery grace and jewel-bright threads of synapse. My stomach fluttered and rolled with the sudden weightlessness. Beneath my hand, Marius’s arm was a radiant beam of green and silver. Whispers surrounded me, endlessly spilling over one another in unintelligible cacophony.

  My knees jerked as my feet touched solid earth once more, and the infinite tunnel melted away to reveal my dorm-sized bolt-hole beneath YmFy, Flynn’s bar. An amber aura clung to the shapes of the room, then dissipated like smoke as my eyes adjusted.

  Beside me, Marius doubled over, gasping for breath between racking coughs. Teleportation can do that even to the best of us. I stepped into the room and opened the small refrigerator to grab two bottles of water. I passed one to Marius and took my own to the corner of the bed.

  When the satyr had finally calmed his gag reflex, he joined me. He sat on the edge of the bed with his head between his knees. “What the bloody hell did you just do?”

  “Teleporter,” I said, dangling the fob. “It’s supposed to be a panic button, a way for me to get out of a jam quickly, but sometimes I just leave my car at YmFy and would rather not splurge on a cab.”

  Taking a pull from his water bottle, Marius tracked his eyes over the room. “We’re at Flynn’s bar? That warehouse?”

  “Beneath it,” I said, ignoring the fact that any minute Flynn could burst in here and unleash a world of thunderous rage on us. And I’d deserve it. But I went on babbling about the room anyway. “There’s a series of tunnels under the bar. This isn’t much more than a dorm room with a better decorator,” I explained, “but it’s a good place to crash if I’m too tired or too drunk to drive home. Or in case of emergencies.”

  I pointed to the sleek black walls casting back our soft reflections. “Sliding panels for storage. I’ve got a bugout bag in that closet, but it’s full of clothes that fit me, not you. That door leads to the bathroom. I’ve got it stocked with the necessities. And the bed is comfy enough,” I added, pushing down on the futon mattress. “The fridge is stocked with water, caffeine, and a few chocolate bars. Basically, everything a girl needs in the event of the apocalypse or a renegade bottle of Jameson.”

  Ignoring my fifty-cent tour, Marius shook his head. “That’s not like any teleportation I’ve ever experienced,” he said, voice thick with nausea. “It’s not natural. Your friend come up with that one?”

  I nodded. “It’s one of Flynn’s more exclusive toys, yes.”

  As if he’d been summoned, my fellow ginger materialized in the doorway. Before his body even solidified, a distorted version of his voice called out, “Cat, are you all right?” Flynn’s gaze settled on me, then on the satyr. “What is he doing here?”

  Here it comes…

  “He’s going to be using my room for a few days,” I said, keeping my voice firm.

  Flynn scowled. “You offered something that’s not yours to give, Catherine.”

  I gulped. As long as I’ve known him, Flynn has never called me by my full name. His voice, so chilly and menacing, seemed foreign.

  “It’s my room,” I said.

  “Yes, but this is my place.” Flynn’s hazel eyes locked onto mine, angry and hurt.

  Though my knees shook, I didn’t waver. I met his stare and passed the strength of it right back.

  Marius cleared his throat and rose to his feet, a warm presence to my left. “I need to pop to your loo a moment.”

  A blur moved in my peripheral vision, and the door behind Flynn shut. A moment later, I could hear Marius retching.

  “This is my place,” Flynn repeated, at a whisper now. “The closest I have to Olympus or Eden. This is my sanctum. Why would you bring him here?”

  “I can’t have him at my apartment. It’s not
safe for him, my neighbors, or me. This place is protected, though. He can stay here and go unnoticed. It’s only for a few days, tops. I won’t be using the room.”

  “And you just assumed I’d grant asylum?” he growled through his teeth.

  “Oh, come on!” I yelled. I quieted my words so that Marius wouldn’t hear over his puking “You know he’s telling the truth. What kind of god would you be if you couldn’t divine that much?”

  He blanched, and the color drained from his eyes, leaving his irises the liquid silver of mercury. Flynn clenched his jaw, but his silence roared. His hair seemed fiery all of a sudden, his tattoos more pronounced. It was as if my snarking off at him had reminded him that he was not human, but something else. In front of me, he looked alien.

  I softened my voice and tried to appeal to what humanity still lived in the clockwork of my friend. “Flynn, he needs help. Put your differences aside for just a few days while things get sorted out. He won’t be any trouble.”

  At this, Flynn let out a thin, reedy laugh. Some of the color returned to his features. He clawed a hand through his spiky hair. “He doesn’t know how to be anything else.”

  “Please,” I said. “Just for a few days.”

  “To you it’s just a few days, but it’s not as simple as crashing on my couch. Offering him sanctuary means something very different to the immortal crowd. You know that. If word gets out that he’s here, I’m all but announcing that I’ve chosen a side. I don’t have the luxury of anonymity anymore, Cat. I have to think about this political bullshit now. And so should you.”

  Marius continued to heave away in the bathroom. After a particularly glorious and loud volley, Flynn winced. “Jesus, did you cook?”

  I flinched but otherwise ignored the jab at my culinary skills. “First time teleporting your way.”

  Flynn snorted and looked at the door with a satisfied smile. “Amateurs.”

  “Please,” I tried again. “A few days.”

  The god sighed heavily, staring at his feet. “Fine.” He looked up then and pinned me with a stare. “But I’m not doing this for him. I’d only do this for you.”