by Elks, Carrie
Caitie froze, sitting completely still in her chair. The hair on her arms stood up, goosebumps forming along her flesh. It took all the control she had to not let the dismay show on her face.
Breck and Rachel went on a date? She watched as he walked over to her side of the table, his gait easy and his expression neutral. She tried to swallow, but her mouth was too dry. The temptation to down the entire glass of champagne was almost too strong to ignore.
She took a deep breath and silently chastised herself. Why wouldn’t he date? It was a free world, after all.
“The Five Olives?” Breck asked, leaning on the table, next to Ember. He’d ignored the seat next to Rachel. For some reason that gave Caitie a grim sense of satisfaction. “It’s a nice spot. Not too pretentious, good food. It feels more like a café than a restaurant.”
“Did you think so?” Rachel said. “I thought it was beautiful. Really romantic, overlooking the ocean. And the food was to die for. We shared a platter, it was amazing. Breck, we should take Lucas and Ember there some time.”
Harper elbowed Caitie in the waist. “You okay?” she asked quietly. Biting her lip, Caitie nodded, trying to blink away the salt water stinging behind her eyelids. She was being stupid, she knew it. What did it matter if Breck was going out with Rachel, or any other girl for that matter? He could spend time with whoever he wanted to.
“Breck tells me you’re a Holiday Consultant,” Daniel said quietly.
She smiled at him, grateful for the distraction. “That’s right.”
“What exactly is that?”
Her laugh was almost genuine. “I get asked that a lot. It’s a bit of a niche job, I guess. Not one many people have heard of, but there are a few of us around. I advise companies on holiday trends and traditions. If a movie company wants to dress a set to look like Christmas in the 1940s, I help them, source the stuff, and give them historical background. But I also look at future trends, talking to retailers and letting them know what I think they should stock for the holidays next year. Whether red and green are in or out, if they should concentrate on silver and white. Which, by the way, is going to be huge this year, so start stocking up now.”
Daniel laughed. “We don’t really celebrate Christmas, so I don’t think I’ll be needing many decorations.”
Harper leaned forward. “You don’t celebrate? Are you Jewish?”
“Nah, we’re nothings. Christian if you really wanted to give me a religion. But Breck usually travels at Christmas, and I tend to spend a lot of time in the lab. Dad just holes up and watches sports.”
“That’s awful,” Harper said. “Why wouldn’t you want to all be together?”
“I don’t know. We’ve always concentrated on Thanksgiving. We spend it together every year. It’s our holiday, you know? Christmas has always seemed a bit overrated.” He cleared his throat. “And it’s the anniversary of Mom’s…” He blew out a mouthful of air. “It kind of puts a dampener on things.”
Caitie gave him a sad smile. “That’s understandable.”
“Hey, don’t look so sad,” Daniel told her. “You sound as though you’re great at your job. Breck’s told me how well you’ve done. It’s just that Christmas has so many memories for us, bad as well as good. Thanksgiving feels so much less loaded.”
Of course it did. After everything they’d been through as a family, it made total sense. It didn’t stop her from feeling sad. Christmas had always been a time of joy for Caitie. As a child, it had been full of magic and wonder, with dreams of sugarplum fairies and visits from St. Nicholas. As a teenager, it had been imbued with a deeper meaning, taking care of Daniel, and stealing that kiss from a sleeping Breck. Now it was her job – her life if she was being honest – and she loved everything about it.
“You don’t even watch movies?” Harper asked. “White Christmas? Miracle on 34th Street?”
Daniel shook his head. “It kind of passes us by.”
“Well jeez. These guys must be your worst nightmare, Caitie. They could put you out of a job.”
She laughed at Harper’s shock, even though she felt a bit of it, too. “I’ll try not to panic too much.”
There was a break in conversation as Caitie thought about them never celebrating Christmas. How they still must feel so much pain while everyone else is celebrating.
“Can I show you something?” Daniel asked, breaking the silence. “It’s stupid, but I’ve looked after it for all these years.”
“Of course. What is it?”
He pulled a phone from his pocket. Except on second glance it wasn’t a phone at all. It was phone-shaped, with rounded edges, but instead of the whole face being a touchscreen, there was a small screen at the top with the rest of the front being dominated by a circular control wheel.
“Is that an iPod?” Harper asked, reaching out to touch the wheel. “God, I haven’t seen one in years.”
“Do you recognize it?” he asked Caitie. “It’s the one you gave me that Christmas.” He pressed the button in the middle of the wheel, and the screen came to life, the menu forming in dark letters.
“It still works?” she asked, the corner of her mouth lifting up.
“I took good care of it,” he said. “It meant a lot to me. I still have the playlist you made, too. Look, here.” He pressed another button, and a list of tracks came up on the screen. Just seeing the song titles formed a lump in Caitie’s throat. She’d chosen one song from each CD in her collection, loading them onto her dad’s computer. It had taken more than an hour to burn them into a playlist and download it onto the iPod.
“Those are beautiful songs.”
“I played them constantly when we first went to Boston,” Daniel told her. “They got me through some dark days.” He pulled some earbuds from his pocket. “Do you want to listen to one? I’ll share my headphones with you.”
“I’d love to.”
They took an earbud each, and Daniel pressed play. Almost at once, Hallelujah came on – the Jeff Buckley version – and the soulful pitch of his voice took her breath away.
A tear rolled down her cheek. When she looked at Daniel, she could see his eyes were watery, too. As they listened to the haunting tune together, she gave him a half-smile, and he took her hand in his, squeezing it tightly.
She wasn’t sure what made her turn her head. A need to include the second brother? To feel if seeing him still hurt? Taking the last mouthful of her champagne, she swallowed it down, shifting her eyes to where Breck was still leaning against the table.
He was looking at her with the strangest expression on his face, his brows dipped with an intense, deep stare. She gazed back, unable to pull her eyes from his. Every part of her body was leaning toward him, needing to touch, to connect, to feel.
As the music continued in her ear, she felt a deep ache forming in her chest. It was painful and beautiful, but more than anything, it felt real.
14
“Do you have plans for tomorrow?” Rachel asked Breck after dinner, when everybody was clearing up. “I don’t have work until next week. I thought maybe we should work on our first dance.” She grinned at him. “I’m desperate to see your moves.”
Breck blinked. He’d been too busy watching Caitie as she carried the dirty plates into the kitchen to notice Rachel walking up to him. There was something hypnotic about the way Caitie’s hips swung in those tight-cut pants. “Sorry, what?”
Rachel bit her lip. “It doesn’t matter.”
He felt like a dick. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. I’m all ears now, what was it you said?”
“I was wondering if you’d like to come to my place tomorrow.” Her face was pink. “Maybe grab something to eat and… ah… practice our dance.”
Thank god he had a built in excuse, he felt bad enough already. “Sorry, I can’t. I promised to take Daniel surfing in the morning, and Dad and I have to visit with some customers.” He tried to ignore the hurt expression on her face.
“Oh. No problem.” She attempted a
smile. “It was only a suggestion.”
“You could come, too,” Daniel suggested. How long had he been standing there? He had a smirk on his face as though he’d been listening for a while. “Do you surf?”
“No. I like watching though.” Rachel’s smile returned. “Breck’s a great surfer.”
Daniel raised his eyebrows. “Do you watch him a lot?” he asked, shooting Breck an amused glance.
“A few times. Sometimes I go with Ember when Lucas and Breck go out. It’s fun to watch when they catch a wave.”
“Then you should definitely come,” Daniel said. “Shouldn’t she, Breck?”
Breck shot his brother a dark look.
“What time are you going?” she asked him, not noticing his expression. “Early?”
It wasn’t Daniel’s fault he couldn’t find a kind way to get Rachel to back off. Still, from the corner of his eye Breck could see his brother smirking. Noticing his scrutiny, Daniel made a silly face. Breck squeezed his eyes shut, wishing Rachel wasn’t such a close friend of Lucas and Ember’s. Maybe then it would be easier to say no.
That was one of the problems of living in a small town like Angel Sands. Sometimes it felt as though everybody was up in your business. He didn’t want to upset somebody he was going to come into contact with again and again.
He’d just be kind and hope she got bored of the chase.
Caitie walked past them again, carrying another empty dish. She gave him and Rachel a small smile and went to hurry past.
“You need any help clearing up?” Breck asked her.
“No. We’re good,” Caitie said. She turned her head so he couldn’t see her face. “You guys can carry on talking, you’re guests here.”
His eyes followed her as she walked away again. It was almost impossible to ignore the way her sweater hugged her body. It made him swallow hard, and try not to imagine what it would be like to peel it off her.
This was such a bad idea. He had one woman who couldn’t take no for an answer, and another he couldn’t get out of his mind, no matter how forbidden she was. You couldn’t make this stuff up.
“Son, I think I’m going to head out,” his dad said, joining them in the dining room. “It’s almost nine in Boston, and I’m beat. Plus I’d kind of like to Skype with Maria before she goes to bed.”
“Okay. I’ll go say thanks to the Russells and then I can run you home.”
“No need for you to leave early,” Daniel said. “I’ll take dad home. I’m sure Lucas can drop you off later. That’s if you trust me with your truck.”
Breck frowned. “Are you sure? You’re only here for a couple of days. I’ll take you.”
“Dude, Dad’ll be holed up in his room on his laptop and I’m heading to bed with a book. Just stay here and have fun with your friends. We’ll see each other in the morning.”
“He’s right, son,” his dad agreed. “You should stay. I heard Lucas talking about playing some cards.”
Breck was torn between spending time with his family, and spending time with the Russells. As if to add to the confusion, Caitie emerged from the kitchen again, and their eyes immediately met.
“Are you leaving?” she asked, disappointment in her voice.
“We are,” Daniel said, putting his arm around his dad. “Breck’s going to grab a ride with Lucas later.”
The furrows in Caitie’s brow seemed to smooth out. “Oh, okay. It’s a shame to see you go so soon.”
“We’ve got a bit of jet lag,” Daniel told her. “Plus, Dad’s got a hot video date with his girlfriend. Thanks for having us over. It was so good to see you again.” He pulled her in, hugging her tightly. “Let’s stay in touch, okay? Now I’ve got your number, I’ll give you a call.”
“That would be wonderful.” She squeezed him back. “And thanks for coming, it was great catching up with you.”
Breck pulled his keys from his pocket and threw them to his brother, who caught them mid-air. “I’ll see you later, bro.”
After Breck’s family left, Deenie and Wallace went up to bed, claiming exhaustion. Only six of them remained. Lucas grabbed some beers, handing one to Harper, before passing Caitie and Breck both a bottle. Rachel shook her head, and Ember poured them both a glass of wine instead.
“Okay, so who’s up for a few rounds of poker?” Lucas asked.
“I’m game,” Caitie said, taking a mouthful of beer. “If you can handle me.”
“I’m certain you can’t handle me. But I’m up for it if you are.” Harper grinned.
Rachel shook her head. “I’m terrible at cards. Maybe we can put on some music and dance instead.”
Caitie’s expression was classic. Her wide eyes and open mouth made Breck want to laugh. He was half inclined to agree with Rachel just to watch Caitie’s reaction.
“I’m no good at cards either,” Ember agreed. “Do we have to play? Lucas gets all angry and starts shouting whenever he loses.”
When Breck looked at Caitie again, she was biting down a smile. Her teeth digging into her bottom lip. As he watched it slowly unfurl, he had to tighten his hands into fists to stop himself from touching her.
“We could watch a movie,” Lucas suggested. “Dad’s got some old Clint Eastwood DVDs in his office.”
“Can’t we watch something nice?” Rachel said. “A romantic comedy, or something? Oh, maybe there’s a Christmas movie on Netflix.”
Breck swallowed hard. Watching a Christmas movie sounded like his idea of hell.
“We don’t need to watch something Christmassy,” Caitie said quickly, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes. “It’s only Thanksgiving.” She shrugged. “Breck, what do you think we should watch?”
With the threat of watching a holiday movie removed, he could feel himself breathe more easily. “Why don’t we see what’s in the study?” he suggested. “Though I’d definitely prefer an action movie to romance.”
“Me too,” Caitie agreed.
“I’m easy,” Harper said. “I’ll probably fall asleep no matter what you put on. It’s been a long day and we started drinking at lunch time. I never realized your folks were so hardcore, Caitie.”
“Just don’t make it too scary.” Ember grimaced. “I need to get some sleep tonight. I want to hit the Black Friday sales tomorrow.”
“Oh I don’t know,” Rachel said. “I kind of like scary movies. As long as I’ve got somebody to cuddle up to.”
As the guys walked out of the room, Breck’s mind was made up. Definitely not a horror movie, and definitely not a Christmas movie. He was pretty sure that was going to rule out most of Wallace Russell’s antique DVD collection.
* * *
As the door closed behind Breck and Lucas, Rachel sighed from her spot next to Ember.
“Breck is so lovely. Where has he been all my life?”
“In Boston,” Harper said, deadpan. Caitie tried not to laugh.
Rachel ignored them, grabbing Ember’s wrist. “Did I tell you what he said at the end of our lunch the other day? We were talking about the best places to surf in winter, and he told me he loves going to Hawaii in December. Well, of course he can’t go before your wedding, but he’s thinking of flying out there after. Do you think he might invite me?”
Caitie set her half-drunk bottle of beer on the end table. “I’m going to look for some snacks in the kitchen. Anybody want anything?”
“I’ll help you,” Harper said, jumping up.
“Don’t worry about getting anything for me,” Ember said, rubbing her stomach. “I’m still full from dinner. And I have a wedding dress to squeeze into.” She frowned. “Ugh, I probably shouldn’t eat for a week.”
“I’m fine, too,” Rachel said. “I want to look my best when we walk down the aisle.”
“I bet you do,” Harper muttered, her voice too low for anybody but Caitie to hear.
Caitie sped up her exit, pushing the door to the kitchen open with more force than necessary.
“Are you okay?” Harper asked, pulli
ng the door closed behind her. “You were so quiet at dinner I thought you might have fallen asleep.”
“I’m fine,” Caitie reassured her, pulling a pack of chips from the cupboard. She grabbed two bowls and opened the packet, even though she had no appetite at all.
“Do you know that Rachel girl well?” Harper asked as Caitie started to shake the chips into the bowls. “She’s been hanging around Breck all day. Are they an item?”
Caitie stopped mid shake and turned to face her friend. “I’ve only met her a couple of times before. She’s Ember’s friend. They work together at the elementary school.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “And I’ve no idea if they’re an item, though they seem pretty close.”
The two of them had seemed attached at the hip since lunchtime. Every time Caitie had glanced across the room Rachel had been talking with Breck. He didn’t seem to mind, either. He was his usual, amiable self, making jokes and talking with everybody.
But every time he’d smiled at Rachel, it had felt like Caitie’s chest was about to implode.
“Maybe they’re just friends,” Harper suggested, though she didn’t sound convinced. “That would be normal, wouldn’t it? If she hangs around with Lucas and Ember a lot she’d be bound to get to know their friends. The way you did when you grew up with Lucas.”
“I never whispered in Griff’s ear the way Rachel whispered in Breck’s,” Caitie pointed out. “And Breck is her partner in the bridal procession. He’s going to walk her down the aisle.”
“He is?” Harper wrinkled her nose. “Ugh. Maybe they are a couple.” She reached for Caitie’s hand, sliding it between her own. “I’m sorry, honey. That must hurt like hell.”
“I’m fine,” Caitie said again, hoping she sounded convincing. “He’s a grown man. He’s allowed to have a relationship with anybody he wants. It’s not as though I expected him to save himself for me.” She gave a short laugh. “It wouldn’t have worked anyway. He lives here and I live in New York. And I don’t know if you were listening to Daniel earlier, but he said none of them like Christmas very much.” She shrugged. “Maybe it’s better this way. We’re clearly not compatible.”