Sacred Desires (Samuel #1)

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

  Three

  From what I understood, my life has only one purpose, to gain the trust of a Fallen Angel and make him fall in love with me. Then I am to bring him to Dimitrious, so he can take away his soul. Rhonda explained that all the Fallen are scattered in many parts of the world, but Dimitrious is responsible for their search around London. There is probably much more to it, but I don't need to know any other details. From what Rhonda said, the Fallen have adapted to the human way of life. As long as I do my job well, Dimitrious will leave me alone and I can do what I want. She was probably expecting me to ask questions about her life, but I'm not interested, and frankly I hope I will never have to see her again.

  Once she leaves my shabby flat, I don’t have to worry about her anymore. I lock the door, making sure that no one can get inside. Dimitrious will be making a visit shortly. This man is a total enigma and I'm scared of him. At the end of the day he is my boss, no one important, but he holds the power to my freedom. I must gain his trust and complete his assignment. This is my only option.

  My heart aches for John. Dimitrious was wrong. I'm truly in love with him and, yeah, I killed my last two old husbands, but John made me feel special and loved. He supported me, although I never showed him my real self.

  I walk around the flat and look in the fridge and the cupboards. Then I change my clothes, putting on my favourite dress that I got from Curtis. My stomach is rumbling so I put on instant noodles. My body will suffer and tomorrow I’ll have to do some shopping like a common person.

  For the rest of the afternoon I sit on the old leather sofa trying to watch TV. The thoughts of other humans are less apparent now, maybe because I'm inside the building. Eventually I fall asleep on the sofa, dreaming about my own amazing wedding with John. It's perfect and even the press is there.

  Then I wake up and it's cold outside already and the reality hits me. It wasn’t all just a bad dream. Dimitrious came for me and now I'm in this shitty flat with nothing much left, just my soul.

  When I lift myself off the sofa I flinch, noticing Dimitrious in the chair next to me. He is not wearing that sharp suit anymore, but a black jumper and pants.

  "How did you get in here?" I ask, rubbing my eyes and probably my makeup. I think that I might look ridiculous. All of a sudden the temperature in the room drops and I shiver. Dimitrious still hasn’t answered me. His eyes are like rich smoky tar and he is staring at me, probably reading my thoughts. I'm scared to ask if he has the same abilities as the Fallen Angels. It's funny that, because I haven’t even met one yet.

  "I don't have to ask your permission to come in. I get to be anywhere I want, Poppy," he says, sounding irritated that I'm daring to question him. He must be in his thirties. I can’t hear him, so his theory does fit well. He is one of them. It doesn’t matter; as long as I do what I have to, we don't need to get involved in each other’s lives.

  "Fine, Dimitrious. You're here in my apartment, so tell me what I need to know. Rhonda didn't explain much. I can’t believe that you are working with her. She’s so immature."

  He rolls his eyes at me and my jaw drops. Then he gets up and walks around the room and for a moment I admire the way he moves. After some time, Dimitrious sits next to me. The scent of musky aftershave reaches my nostrils, and his elbow brushes over mine. My whole body locks up and a rambling fear washes over me. He is half angel, but he must live somewhere in the city like ordinary people. His chest looks perfectly ripped, so he must work out. I wonder if he had been allowed to step into heaven before, if he met God.

  "I have been summoning Fallen back to the darkness for years. Rhonda helps me to identify them and then, after weeks of preparation and planning, I reveal myself, trapping them. Fallen are aware that Watchers are on earth and hunting them down. Most of them fight in order to escape. They have broken many rules, corrupted their own souls by stealing, killing and hurting humans. They are no longer holy.” #

  "Right, so I need to make them fall in love with me?"

  "Yes, angels become human once they embrace that emotion. They lose their focus and forget who they are. You're going to be my eyes and ears, Poppy; once they are trapped and vulnerable, I’ll take away their soul."

  He then explains to me what I have to do tomorrow morning. I'm going to dress up and go to the corporate part of London. Dimitrious says that most angels are wealthy. They are bankers, stockbrokers, businessmen. They like the company of beautiful women, money and sex. They embrace the human way of life, learn new skills of survival and use their abilities to stay ahead of Watchers. All of them are immortal and beautiful. The cannot be caught by other humans because they’re too intelligent.

  Once I identify my first Fallen, I will meet with Rhonda and give her the full details. I can’t do anything before I speak to her. I don't want to think what could happen if I disobey orders. Dimitrious overwhelms me with fear. For most of my life, no man had ever intimidated me, but now all of a sudden I'm scared to death of a man that saved me from hell.

  Once we are done with the business, I take a deep breath and ask, "Would you like something to drink?"

  Dimitrious raises his eyebrow with obvious surprise. He probably didn't expect this from me, but I need to make an effort.

  "As long as you won’t slip poison into the drink," he says with amusement in his tone. I need to remember that he knows about my past.

  "I'm trying to be nice to my new employer," I reply, like this is not a big deal at all.

  "In that case, yes, Poppy, I would like a cup of tea."

  I can feel him watching me when I get up and put the kettle on. It's like his eyes are drilling through me, waking up some sort of arousal and cruelty. No one has ever made me feel this way. I slowly turn around, but his eyes are on the window.

  "Dimitrious, have you always been a Watcher? Are you immortal like the Fallen?" I ask.

  At first I thought that I didn't want to know but right now he’s awakened a need of knowing more about him, about his life.

  "No, I age like humans, but I’ve been hunting Fallen for the past fifteen years. I don't remember who I was before that," he replies without losing that tense expression.

  "What do you mean, you don't remember?"

  "I just don't. I was awoken by a Watcher without remembering the past. From then on another Watcher became my guide; she taught me everything I needed to know. It's like I woke up from a dream and it all began from there. My memory from my previous life had been wiped out. I have been on my own since my teacher left, stating that I was ready.”

  “That's terrible," I say, surprised by my own reaction. Normally I don't say things like that.

  "I'm a Watcher. My job is to serve the Divine One, but with your help my life should get a little more interesting. I liked teaching Rhonda. She was wild but eager."

  "Have you ever tried to find out anything about your previous life?" I ask, handing him the cup of tea. Something in Dimitrious’s eyes flashes, maybe anger or anguish, but then it's gone within a split second. I smooth my sweaty palms over my thighs.

  "No. I have no memories of my previous life."

  Then there is an uncomfortable silence that stretches for a minute or so. I feel sorry for him, that all his life he has been hunting Fallen without knowing who he really was.

  "What about your life outside being a Watcher?" I ask again, hoping that he might answer this time. "How do you relax?"

  He takes a sip of his tea and closes his eyes. I can’t stop staring at him, the way his jaw moves slowly as he drinks. After a moment, he gets up and is beside me, leaning over.

  The closeness overwhelms me again. I inhale, taking in that musky scent of his cologne. My head swims.

  "I'm excited to have you, Poppy. You're special," he says almost in a whisper, then he leans away, clearing his throat. “You should have some updates by midday.”

  I shiver, wondering how it would feel if he ran his lips over mine. Cold but delicious shivers creep over my back and I close my eyes. Dimitrious is
gone a second later. I didn’t even realise I was holding my breath the whole time.

  I slide down to the floor, feeling dizzy. My thoughts rush away as I try to calm down. Dimitrious knows that I'm only playing the part, and he acts like he doesn’t care, shielding his own self amazingly well. I touch my ear as warmth pours into my stomach, enlightening every part of my body. I stay on the floor, trying to figure out what is happening to me. This can’t be an attraction. John loved me and made me happy. The room lightened up when he walked into it, but Dimitrious is like a crushing explosion. All the senses go berserk when my body connects with his. When he is close I lose myself and forget who I am.

  ***

  In the morning I wake up with a bad neck. At first I have no idea where I am and then everything slams back to me, noodles from last night rolling around in my stomach. Dimitrious’s face rolls through my mind and, when I glance at the clock, it's only eight o’clock in the morning. At least I have my clothes, so I can look right facing the Fallen. This whole thing should be easy. Men find me attractive. Fallen are beautiful, and they can get any woman they want, so it's up to me to interest them in my incredible personality. I wash my hair and then slave at cleaning the bath. Who knows what kind of people lived in this flat before? Maybe some immigrants or gypsies.

  Rhonda did remember to bring my makeup, so maybe I should be a little nicer to her. I have to make sure that I'm calm when Dimitrious is around; otherwise, she may think that I'm attracted to him.

  I eat some cheap cereal and decide to wear a Chanel dress and high heels. I don't like my new self in the mirror, but at least in my old clothes I feel confident, successful and beautiful. People looked up to me; now I'm no one, just a woman that has to answer to a very good-looking Watcher.

  Quarter to nine there is a knock at my door, and when I answer, it’s Rhonda with her blond hair and piercing. This time she is wearing a suit that looks really cheap. She eyes me up and down with a grim expression on her face.

  "This cost me a fortune, so shut up, Mrs. Fancy Pants," she snaps, closing the door. I know that I look good. Surprisingly, I catch some of her thoughts about Dimitrious, but I don't say anything.

  "I'm ready to go," I tell her, putting on my expensive creamy coat. It's October so it's quite cold outside.

  "Okay, the best time to find Fallen is during morning hours. Sometimes you can even tell by only looking at them. Dimitrious is good-looking, but he is a Watcher. Fallen are almost impossible not to notice; they radiate with power and they like human women."

  "I'm good at what I do, so this should be easy. Come on, I think we should leave now."

  "Don't be so sure, Poppy. They are not like humans. Their power attracts women, but they are careful not to get attached to any of them."

  I think Rhonda is trying to scare me, but I know that I'm smart and beautiful. Within days I should have at least one of them under my feet.

  The subway is busy and my head is suddenly filled with thoughts of other people. The worst are the businessmen and just common people worrying about everything and anything. Rhonda tells me to focus without actually saying it aloud. She keeps repeating to block the thoughts away. Soon I realise what she means. She suggests sitting down in one of the coffee shops by the tube, but I can’t concentrate, struggling with the amount of thoughts that keep hitting me right, left and centre.

  Close your eyes, Poppy, and concentrate. You won’t find Fallen until you stop and listen.

  I almost fall off the chair hearing Dimitrious's voice in my head. I glance around, trying to see if he is anywhere near, but I can’t see him.

  Poppy, we don't have time to play this game. Do what I say.

  He is definitely in my head and I have no choice but to obey. The thoughts and voices keep rolling through fast, but I shut my eyes, trying to clear my mind. I probably look ridiculous, but I don’t care as long as Dimitrious gets the hell out of my head. My breathing slows down and I begin shutting down my mind. A minute or so later I feel better and the rambling thoughts begin to disappear.

  When I open my eyes Rhonda is staring back with a stunned expression painted on her face. "I'm surprised that you actually listened to him," she says with a small smile.

  I look around and, one by one, I let in the thoughts of people walking by towards the tube station. There are women that are worried about their kids and husbands, men in suits wondering if their boss will be in a good mood today. I scan each and every one of them, searching for any angels that might be on their way to work. Deep down I don't believe that they would expose themselves in the early-morning traffic. If they are wealthy and so smart, then why would they be around ordinary humans? In this crowd I discover that everyone is always searching for something. Money, debts, kids, family. The thoughts are endless.

  Then I spot a group of men dressed sharply in suits, walking out from the subway. Their thoughts are widely transparent. Last night one of them had a cracking party and shagged at least two girls; now he has hangover. I hear all of their thoughts, apart from the one on the far right.

  I try to listen in, concentrating only on his thoughts, blocking everyone else, but I get nothing. The man is wearing black sunglasses and a black coat. The breeze ruffles his blond, almost too-long hair. I don't know for sure if he is one of the Fallen, but I think that I’ve just hit the jackpot.

  Four

  “The blond one with black sunglasses. Let’s follow him,” I say to Rhonda, who lifts her head from her BlackBerry, looking pretty annoyed with me. She opens her mouth, probably to tell me what to do, but I'm already lifting my sexy arse off the table and hurrying after those guys. Rhonda throws some insults at me through her mind, complaining that I left her with the bill in the coffee shop.

  There is no way that I'm going to stop him now with this horrible red hair; I just need to see where he is going. His companions’ thoughts are quite explicit. Dimitrious took away the only thing that kept me going. Men loved my big fake breasts. That old look gave me an advantage and now I just look common, but I'm here to do the job.

  I know that I need to follow the group anyway. Rhonda hasn’t told me much about the area, but judging from the streets, buildings and business people, it's the financial sector of the city. It looks like she was spot on; Fallen adore wealth and real style.

  All four men are carrying briefcases. I can read their thoughts very well, apart from the one. He is tall, much taller than Dimitrious, with a perfectly cut tailor-made suit. It seems as if his mind is completely empty. My red hair is floating nicely in the air and I have to walk fast to match their pace. His two companions have very filthy minds. Rhonda is following on the other side, her mind screaming at me not to do anything stupid. We are only supposed to identify one of them.

  Shut up. You don't have any idea how to do this.

  "Jason, buddy, how was your trip to Paris?"

  I hear the question, and it's answered by the man without thoughts. He has this rich, deep voice that sends a dose of lust through my core.

  “Fun-fuckin-tastic. I made a new business deal and met a gorgeous French chick.” He chuckles and a few guys laugh. Their dirty thoughts echo in my head. They are both imagining what Jason had been up to.

  In any other circumstances I would be quite happy to go out with one of them, but from their thoughts I know they are just players. In some ways I'm very similar. I played with men, got whatever I wanted and then got rid of them quickly enough. Dimitrious didn't tell me much about this whole plan, using Rhonda to make sure that I do well. I'm not surprised that they were fed up leading that endless life in heaven, so they sinned. Sex can be amazing, but for them it's probably unholy. I bet once Jason tasted life on earth, he didn't even want to hear about coming back.

  I walk, pretending that I'm on my way to work. Rhonda keeps walking close, eyeing the men with her hungry eyes. Their group is talking about some market, and soon their heated discussion turns into an argument. Jason argues that he is an expert and he knows London like his back
pocket.

  Soon they disappear into the new building on my right, slightly away from the whole financial district. For a brief second I hesitate, wondering what to do. I can’t just barge into the building. There is a security guard by the reception desk when I sneak inside, pretending like I'm looking for the right floor. I toss my red hair behind me and walk up to him. The smile always wins; men love happy and sexy women.

  “Can I help you?” the security guard asks. He is in his fifties with grey hair and small watery eyes. Despite this, I'm confident and can charm anyone, so this should be easy.

  “Oh yes, darling,” I say, smiling. “I run my own florist business and my assistant mixed up the details of one of my clients. There were three bouquets sent to this building. I'm trying to find one of the clients.” I'm improvising now, because I want to get the name of the bastard that Dimitrious wants me to seduce. It's not like I'm reluctant to have sex with a stranger, but first I need to know how much effort I need to put into this. Fucking someone is just part of the job. I have done it before, with Curtis and Edward.

  “Have you got a name?” he asks, staring back and thinking about the fight with his wife he had this morning.

  “Yes, I think it's Jason, but my assistant couldn't recall the surname.”

  He frowns, saying in his mind that he should have got flowers for his wife last night because then the conflict would be over. “It's Mr. Jason Packman; he owns Properties Direct.”

  “You're a star, darling,” I say with the sweet tone. “Thank you, I’ll send him a little apology card.”

  The security guard mutters something under his nose that I don't understand. I leave the building smiling to myself. I'm not dead and now I’ve just found out the name of the man that has to fall in love with me. There is at least something I can be happy about. I have to identify any Fallen and I have just done that. Rhonda should be pleased.