Sacred Desires (Samuel #1)

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

  "You should really invest in a good hairdresser; maybe you would find a boyfriend quicker."

  She gives me a murderous look, but I only smile. "Who said anything about wanting a boyfriend?"

  I fold my palms over and sigh.

  "Girls your age like to have fun, sleep with a few different people. I guess that you aren’t getting laid at all?"

  Her face goes crimson and her thoughts race away to Dimitrious. Of course she has a crush on him, but hey, who wouldn't? The angel looks like God himself.

  "I like to have fun, you stuck-up bitch. Guys are always interested in me. Get the fuck off my case and let’s discuss business."

  "I'm showing you that I'm interested and I want to help you. We should go out together,” I suggest with a smile, genuinely meaning what I say.

  She slams her fists on the table and other Londoners are staring now, cursing her off in their pretty little heads. "We both have to do the job, so stop talking nonsense!”

  "My task is nearly enough done. Samuel and me, we have an emotional bond. Dimitrious showed up in his penthouse last night and we are both sensing jealousy. The Fallen feels threatened," I explain, yawning.

  She looks at me for a long while, not saying anything but thinking that Dimitrious was right about me all along. My body can be useful and the Fallen will use me purely for sexual pleasure. The waiter approaches again and we order our lunch. Rhonda is in a bad mood today, I'm sensing it. She has a problem with her roommate and Dimitrious gave her some pointless task yesterday, so she is bored.

  I chat with her for a little bit about Samuel and his friends. Then we discuss the strategy for later. I called her myself and she needs to feel important before I turn this conversation to a more uncomfortable subject.

  When the food arrives, the tension between us eases off a little. Rhonda doesn’t curse me off anymore in her mind. She needs to tolerate me so I can get close to Dimitrious. Maybe going out with her and gaining her friendship is the way forward.

  "That sword in Samuel’s house. Did Dimitrious say anything about what we both saw?"

  She looks at me with her mouth full. "Bits and pieces about some human woman and the Fallen."

  "I have an idea, but you would have to help me," I begin, thinking about last night.

  "I'm helping you. We have the bastard pinned down, and in a few more weeks Dimitrious will finish him off,” she replies, shrugging her shoulders.

  "That's not what I have in mind. I'm talking about Dimitrious’s memories. There are other Watchers like him and I want you to take me to them."

  She stops eating, dropping her fork on the floor, her eyes wide and furious. “That's it. I'm calling Dimitrious."

  "No," I say, grabbing her hand. Shit, I should have taken a different angle. Rhonda admires him too much.

  “His empty head must have something to do with Samuel. He obviously hasn’t told you everything. The sword showed us that Samuel used to be Dimitrious’s buddy. They knew each other, so other Watchers must know what’s happened to him."

  Rhonda is shaking her head. “Don't be fucking stupid. You can’t just go up to the Fallen. They don’t like humans that know about them. Besides, if Dimitrious finds out he will kill us both."

  "I want my freedom back and I’ve done everything he asked me. Samuel is falling for me fast. Dimitrious wants his memories back and we both know that we can help him.”

  "All right, so that’s why you are doing this? For your own personal gain, not because you care that he doesn’t remember?"

  "It doesn’t matter, does it? Take me to another Watcher, that’s all I'm asking for, Rhonda."

  She is furious with me, thinking that I'm using her. All right, so maybe I do care about the angel. He scares me and I can’t imagine how hard it has been for him not remembering anything, but I can gain my own life back once he remembers.

  "No. You're not messing this up for either of us. The Fallen will help him remember, then he will kill him. Now, Poppy, finish the job and don’t call me again. I don’t like wasting my precious time,” she says, getting up. She is seriously pissed off with me.

  "Okay, go run to the big master and cry. Forget that I even brought this up."

  She turns around, looking at me with confusion and anger, and I want to tell her about the kitten, but I decide not to. I don’t want to make this worse and it’s my present, so I should enjoy it. Then she is walking away, calling me crazy. It looks like Dimitrious hasn’t told her anything about what the sword showed us. Rhonda wants to find the Fallen that killed her mother and she thinks that I only care about my previous life.

  It looks like I will have to do everything myself. If she mentions anything to Dimitrious then I'm screwed, so I have to wait a couple of days or weeks.

  I finish my food and then head back to do some shopping. Maybe it's time to find another Fallen. This can be my own pet project. He should lead me to others, but that’s quite a risk.

  Sixteen

  I don’t call Samuel back that day, so he shows up in my apartment the next morning, looking furious. His visit is completely unexpected and I have no makeup on. The kitten is in my bedroom. I decided to call him Charlie, not sure why, it just fits. Samuel has never been in my apartment and now I have to tell him about the kitten, hoping that he won’t mind. I run to the kitchen and take the black pill, then smooth my red hair. I hate showing up pale and tired, like I just dragged myself out of bed. My natural look doesn’t do me any justice.

  "Oh hello, darling, what a pleasure to see you in my humble apartment," I say, pretending that I’m glad to see him. He walks in, narrowing his eyes at me.

  "I'm angry that you completely ignored my phone calls yesterday," he snaps, running his hand through his hair. It’s been two days and I guess by not calling back I gave him something to think about.

  I bring my palms to my mouth. "Crap, I've been so busy working that I haven’t even charged my phone. Plus I went to the pet centre yesterday and bought a kitten. Look, isn't it cute?” I ask, showing him the basket, trying to ease the situation a little.

  He looks from me to the kitten, scratching his head. “You bought a pet?” he finally asks.

  “Well, yes. I work from home and I thought I could have some company.”

  “Yes, that’s good idea. The kitten suits you and it can fill your time when I’m not around.” He smiles, his bad mood lifting.

  “See, Charlie? Sammy likes you,” I tease, cuddling the kitten.

  “Now, come on, let’s go. I'm taking you out,” he says, pushing me back to the living room.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m still catching up with work from the weekend," I lie, using this opportunity to put a small distance between us. Dimitrious was right. Sex with a Fallen can be exhausting and I haven’t regenerated my strength. "How about I’ll pop into your office later around four, once I finish with the reports?”

  "Baby, I'm horny and you are such a tease, but I guess I have to stick to that. I’ll send the driver for you."

  "No, don’t be silly. I'm taking a tube, it’s not far—"

  "Poppy, shut up. The driver will be downstairs. Make yourself available to me for the rest of the weekend. You will love what I have planned for both of us.”

  “What about Charlie?” I ask.

  “I guess you have to bring him,” he adds and I kiss him, giggling and saying that he is amazing. Then he leaves and I feel a little lightheaded. Yet again, the bastard was trying to use his special abilities to get what he wanted. Good that I remembered the black pill. Maybe I'm the first woman that he truly wants, the first woman who isn’t obeying.

  Later that day, I take a shower and go out to do some grocery shopping, leaving Charlie asleep. When I come back, there is a surprise. It looks like Dimitrious has refurbished my spare room into an office with a desk, a brand-new laptop and a very comfortable chair. Now I don’t have to pretend that I'm really working.

  I like that Dimitrious looks after me. Underneath all those muscles and
hard face, he really is caring.

  Later on, at around five in the afternoon, I put some revealing clothes on and some makeup and head out. Maybe Rhonda hasn’t told Dimitrious about our lunch. I don’t want to care, like before in my old life, when I’d done what I wanted and never thought about consequences. Now I'm lusting after a creature that only sees me as a commodity.

  Outside, Samuel’s driver is waiting for me. We have to discuss his business, but I have never been in Samuel’s office. He imports and exports clothes, jewellery and makeup as far as I know, but there is a possibility that he made it all up just to have something to talk about.

  We will spend some weekends together and in about a week's time, Samuel will be completely and utterly in love with me, so I’m not worried. He mentioned that he has something really special planned for this weekend. I can’t say no to more presents; that would be rude.

  The driver drops me off outside a tall building in the middle of central London. Judging from the surroundings, Samuel is making enough money to be able afford rent in one of the most expensive areas in London.

  My heart skips a beat when I walk into the elegant lobby, carrying a box with Charlie in it. This whole setup reminds me of Packman and the way he used me in his office. I have no idea what’s happened to him. It was all my fault that he got away. Dimitrious and Rhonda have never mentioned him again and I’m too embarrassed to bring him up.

  Samuel’s office is on the second floor. His secretary greets me at the door. She has a clear mind and it looks like he is clever enough not to get involved with his own staff. We walk through the long corridor.

  She stops in front of wide black doors and smiles, saying, “Please go inside. Mr. Jackson is waiting for you."

  I smile, not saying thank you, and open the door. I'm staggered, realising that Samuel’s office is small but compact. It’s nothing like Packman’s. He doesn’t even have a nice view. Compared to his car and the penthouse by the sea, this is disappointing. I put the box with Charlie on the table.

  “Gorgeous Red, I missed you,” he says, getting up and kissing me. My pulse speeds up, waves of desire slowly empowering my body. Samuel is playing his cards well, still using his abilities to break me.

  I laugh when he leans over and starts whispering seductive words into my ear. Then I push him away, ready to make him remember why he wanted to see me tonight.

  "Sit down and take off your pants," I order, running my tongue over my lips.

  He obeys, not taking his dark eyes off me. The tension stirs the air. I take a step backward and unbutton my coat, so it falls to the floor dramatically. Underneath I have on a very tight black dress that comes off easily. Luckily for me I'm able to lock his door, so no one will interrupt us.

  "You can’t even imagine how much you turn me on, Gorgeous Red," he says when I walk around and push him back to the chair. I amaze myself, slipping straight into this seductive act, like I’m made for this role.

  When I'm on my knees, I slip his pants down to his knees. He is already hard and ready. I smile and start moving my hand back and forth, watching him. Samuel arches his head back, telling me how much he is enjoying it.

  Then his boxers are off and I have his length right in my face. I lick the tip and he shudders, growling with pleasure. Men have always told me that I give good head. I take my time, tasting every part slowly until I take him all into my mouth.

  His moans are delightful and I suck him in and out hard, then slowly until he arches his hips forward. My wet tongue moistens his hard cock and I pick up the pace until he comes in my mouth. His eyes glitter with passion when it’s all over. I hate myself that I have to swallow him, afraid that he might poison me.

  Samuel’s face is flushed and he should remember this until we see each other next. My small steps will get Dimitrious what he needs. Samuel’s soul is almost mine. I wrap my arms around him and he cuddles me to his chest, his heart rate beating fast, and I wonder if I can wiggle away from his arms. I never understood why all men need that kind of closeness. My past two husbands were the same; they always wanted to have me in their arms and I hated it, like now.

  "Did you like it?" I ask innocently.

  "You're amazing, darling," he replies, pressing me closer to him. “I think you should forget about work and spend the next few days in my apartment.”

  Gotcha. The Fallen wants more.

  “Can’t. I’m on a deadline. Let’s have dinner tonight. The weekend is around the corner. I remember you promised to take me somewhere special.”

  He lifts me up and lifts my chin, so our eyes meet.

  "No. I want you to myself for the next couple of days, including the weekend."

  "Are you saying that you want me exclusively for yourself?" I ask, teasing him with my hand between his legs.

  "I thought that I could carry on like before. Women were always just a part of my bachelor life, but I think this is different.”

  "How is it different?" I ask.

  Samuel is just like the others, greedy and emotionally broken. I thought that Dimitrious was like that too, but now I know there is something else underneath the layers of his self-control. Something that I can’t get to, but maybe I'll be able to in the near future.

  "I want you to be part of my life, to be my partner. I'm done with sleeping around, and I want you all for me."

  My laugh echoes in his room and his eyes narrow more. A mad gleam starts dancing in them. Samuel is lost and I still have to pretend that I have problems with commitment.

  "I have been hurt before, and I never want to go through that again."

  "So what are you saying? That I'm going too fast?" he asks in a barely audible voice.

  The pressure in my chest keeps mounting; he looks hurt and who would have thought so? This Fallen seems smitten by his own emotions.

  "Maybe a little. This is all new to me, baby. Let’s just take it slowly."

  "Nothing is slow with me. I'm taking you to my apartment and there I’ll make slow tender love to you all night long."

  I protest, telling him that I have a lot of work to do, that I can’t just lock myself in his bedroom for the rest of the day. His apartment is cozy, but I feel a bit uneasy in his company, remembering who he really is. For other people I'm simply a whore, but he is the only person that will keep me alive. If other people were in the same position, they would all do exactly the same: they would fight to stay alive.

  In the end I agree to stay for a night, when he shows me his beautiful apartment. We make love and enjoy each other’s company. The next morning his phone rings pretty early. Ten minutes later he is already dressing, talking about an important meeting. I make myself comfortable for the next few hours and then leave. The kitten is asleep and I wonder if Dimitrious will visit me, so I can thank him for a his touching gift.

  My body is aching. Samuel fucked me for an hour straight before he left in the morning. I don’t understand what it is with these creatures. I'm only a human, after all. I wash myself thoroughly, making sure that Samuel’s scent is off. I can deal with him touching me during our sex routine, but not when he isn’t around. It’s better not to remember what I do for a living.

  I'm in the shower for a good half hour, then I wrap myself into a thick robe and sit on my old sofa in front of the TV. For another half an hour I keep changing channels, trying to find something interesting to watch with the kitten on my lap.

  I hear the knock but ignore it, knowing that it’s probably my nosy neighbour from upstairs. Whoever is on the other side is persistent.

  Angry and fed up, I walk to the door. This is the downside to living in a shitty block of flats in the suburbs of London. After all, I work for the Watcher, a biblical creature that answers to the Divine One, so I should be living in a palace.

  I unlock the door and open it abruptly. For a moment I can’t figure out if I’m really seeing Dimitrious. He normally just barges in without any sort of warning; he doesn’t knock. A warm desire drifts in the air when I inhale h
is cologne. He is a total turn-on wearing casual clothes and leather jacket.

  "So, are you going to invite me in or will you just stand there staring at me like you’re seeing a ghost?" he asks. But before I can answer he passes me in the doorway, dropping a large bag on the floor.

  I shiver and tuck my white robe tighter around my naked body. Rhonda must have told him what I was asking her. Dimitrious doesn’t look angry or even furious and that’s a good sign, right?

  "What are you doing here?" I ask, walking back to the living room. I don’t know what is wrong with me but I pick up Charlie, cuddling him close.

  Dimitrious looks at me, softening his hard expression. “So you like him then?” he asks.

  “Yes, thank you, he’s lovely. I never thought I would like a pet,” I say.

  “I know it must have been hard for you to adapt to this new life. so I thought he could keep you company during lonely evenings,” he mutters, like it’s not important.

  “Dimitrious, this was very sweet of you. I named him Charlie.”

  “Good. I like that name.”

  “Yes, I like it too, but anyway, what are you doing here? My thing with Samuel is going well. His soul will be yours soon. There's no need to worry.”

  Dimitrious clears his throat, tensing his shoulders.

  "The Fallen has another property somewhere on the coast of France. You're doing a good enough job, Poppy, considering the amount of sex that you’ve been having in the past two days."

  I snort. "Jealous?"

  He laughs; obviously I said the wrong thing.

  "Jealousy, yes. That emotion helped us a lot. You will call him right now and tell him that you're cancelling your plans for the weekend."

  "What? He will go mental. We're so close and this weekend might be a deal-breaker."

  "This Fallen’s soul is already mine, but there is something that I need you for."

  "You will ruin everything, Dimitrious. Samuel wants to have me exclusively to himself. He said that he was never in a relationship before."

  "I need you to show me more. There are other things that belong to Watchers in his house in France. This is his other property that I discovered today, so we might as well head out tomorrow morning."