Expelled

by Claire Adams

  “That was awesome!” she exclaimed. “I can’t believe I’ve never seen something like this.”

  “Do you think it’ll help your story?” I asked, smiling at her obvious excitement. Rodeos were old news for me, but I could feel her enthusiasm for it, and it got me more into the activities than usual. Eric would laugh to find out I’d come to the rodeo again, which I’d sworn not to do after breaking things off with Tina.

  “Oh, yeah,” she said as we rose from our seats and joined the stream of spectators leaving the arena to check out the midway. There were games, food, and bands performing out there from morning until night. I could use something to eat right about now, and then we could poke around the rest of the carnival if Hailey wanted.

  On our way out, Hailey snagged a traveling vendor who just happened to be walking by and bought a huge salted pretzel. This time when she offered me some, I accepted. She pulled a hunk off and handed it to me before taking an enormous bite of what was left in her hands, her eyes rolling to the sky for a moment at how great it tasted.

  “I don’t know what I expected coming here,” she started, her eyes still moving ever everything, as though she’d never quite seen such a spectacle. “But it wasn’t this. The barrel racing was so thrilling. I can see why people are attracted to this sort of thing. And the food is amazing!” She took another large bite of her pretzel.

  “Well, isn’t that the point of your research?” I asked in a teasing tone I’d taken to using whenever I wanted to poke fun at her, which was often. “To understand us country folks a little better?”

  She laughed at that, her blue eyes sparkling as she bumped her shoulder into my arm. “That’s exactly right. Thanks for showing this city mouse around.”

  I smiled too. “Well, let’s have ourselves a good look around at the rest of the carnival. There’s lots more food where this came from. Rides too.”

  Her eyes grew wider. The girl did love to eat, which was something else to like about her. “Lead the way!”

  Laughing, I popped the rest of the pretzel into my mouth and began to move through the crush of people. Hailey took hold of my arm to keep from losing me, and I smiled again at the sensation of her warm hands on my arm. At just that moment, I counted the day a perfect one.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Hailey

  Later That Evening

  We didn’t get back to the ranch until after dark. Cash hurried off to take care of his animals, telling me we could share a snack at the dinner table once he finished, that he expected it to take no more than an hour or two to get things back in order after being away all day.

  I went inside to shower and change. I hadn’t taken one that morning since I got up so last minute after being up half the previous night. Paige had sent me a few messages throughout the day, which I’d read but hadn’t responded to. I was having such a great time with Cash that I didn’t want to take the time to answer her. After showering and putting on fresh, comfortable clothes, I sat down on the bed and gave her a call.

  “Hey,” she answered. “I was messaging you all day.”

  “I know,” I replied. “Guess where I was?”

  “Do I have to?” She sounded a lot less amused than I felt.

  “I was out with Cash. At a rodeo!”

  “What?”

  I giggled at the surprise in her voice. “That sounds weird as hell, doesn’t it? But it was a lot of fun. I couldn’t believe how much fun it was. We’ve really been missing out. It’s like a carnival and a show all rolled into one. I even got talked into watching some of the bronco riding, which was amazing. These people are crazy.” I stopped to take a breath after that mouthful, giving Paige an opportunity to jump in.

  “Wait, was this a date?”

  “No,” I said, then second-guessed myself. “Probably not. But it was really great. Cash was so much more relaxed at the rodeo than I’ve ever seen him here on the ranch. He’s so into his schedule, always worrying about sticking to his routine. He just let go of that while we were out. He’s back at it now, of course, but he has living things to take care of, so I can’t really blame him.”

  “What about the other guy? Eric?” she asked.

  “All of that weird shit from the last week just suddenly stopped. I don’t really know how to explain it. Eric isn’t dropping by here all the time anymore. We’ve emailed back and forth a few times, and he’s offered to take me out on the horses, but hasn’t come by yet.” I shrugged, not that Paige could see. “I’m actually relieved. I feel a closer connection to Cash, and would rather focus my energy there.”

  “Do you think the guys talked about it? If you noticed, they had to notice it too.”

  Color rushed to my face so quickly, my cheeks tingled. The thought of them talking about me behind my back was mortifying. It was a little thrilling too, but mostly embarrassing. I wasn’t a social pariah in high school and college, but I wasn’t one of the popular elite either. Having guys fight over me was new, and I was happy to have it never happen again. Leave that to the characters in my books.

  “God, I hope not. Maybe Eric could see the connection between Cash and me?”

  Paige giggled. “The important question is, does Cash even see it? Have you told him you’re interested yet? Or are you making the poor guy guess?”

  I frowned at that assessment. “I think I’ve made it clear enough through my actions how much I like him. I haven’t come right out and said it, but I give him encouraging looks.” More laughter from Paige, which was annoying but typical. I sighed to show my annoyance, which only drew more laughter from her. “And I tried to incorporate some hands-on stuff today, like grabbing his arm when we were in a crowd and swatting his arm when he got cute with me. It’s a slow burn, not an instant inferno.”

  “Sounds like you have it all worked out. I’ll be happy to be your maid of honor right before you turn 80 years old at this rate.”

  “What’s wrong with wanting him to make the first move?”

  “Nothing, I guess, if you’re okay with waiting. I think you should go for it, though. Let him know you’re interested. Why not go all the way with your research and see what it’s like to ride this cowboy?”

  I burst out laughing, and so did she. “Oh my God, Paige. You are so inappropriate.”

  “Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it.”

  My cheeks were tingling again. I’d had a few more steamy dreams about being with Cash, not that Paige knew about those. Right now, I’d settle for a kiss. The rest could come later.

  “So tell me about everything else that doesn’t involve you refusing to go after this guy,” Paige said.

  I sighed. “There’s so much to tell. Have you looked at the pictures I sent you?”

  “Yeah, it looks boring out there. Way too much empty space.”

  “I guess you really can’t understand what it’s like to be out here without visiting yourself. It’s one of the things that will be the most difficult part about using it as a setting. Life is just different here. More relaxed. It doesn’t compare to other rural places I’ve visited. I think I could probably spend the rest of my life out here and be happy.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Paige sounded almost offended by the idea.

  “I’d still want to travel all the time, of course, but this wouldn’t be the worst home base in the world.”

  “You have gone insane. What is that cowboy feeding you that you’re starting to actually like that boring state?”

  I giggled at her muted outrage. “I’m the one feeding him, remember? And Wyoming is anything but boring. It took me a minute to understand the charm of where I was. Now that I have, I can honestly picture being happy out here. You have to come check it out before I leave. I can ask Cash if he’d mind you dropping by for a few days. There are places to stay in town, of course, but that would be a completely different experience from staying on the farm.”

  “All you need is to fall completely head over heels for this Clint Eastwood wannabe, an
d you will have gone completely native, Hale.” She started laughing, which softened some of the harshness of her comment so much that I joined her.

  “You really need to come out here,” I said after the giggles had died down again. “My creative juices are running so quickly. I have pages and pages of notes. I’m ready to start my story now. I think I’ll do it tomorrow after I get up. Everything here is potential material. Just being around Cash as he moves around his ranch doing chores is a nonstop stream of inspiration.”

  “You sound like you’re more in love with Jackson than you are your cowboy.”

  I made a thoughtful noise. I’d never considered that. But really, they were both tied up together. I’d never have even seen the real Jackson without Cash’s help.

  “I don’t think I’d go that far,” I said, finally. “But I can’t deny that I like this more than the constant bustle of Manhattan. Maybe it’s natural, considering I’m getting closer to my 30s, to want to live somewhere quieter.”

  “I hope I don’t suddenly become boring when I’m as old as you!” she said, and giggled.

  “You’re only 18 months younger than I am,” I replied dryly.

  “So, what are you going to do about your boy? According to your original plan, you’re only staying in Wyoming until October. That’s just about a month away.”

  Leave it to Paige to rain torrentially on my parade. I really didn’t have much time left here. It was depressing to think about, but I didn’t know what I could do besides pack my bags and count it as yet another successful trip.

  “If you don’t want to start something you can’t finish in a month, maybe it’s better to leave well enough alone and not getting anything going with Cash,” she said. I didn’t know how she’d ended up being wiser about these matters than I was. She was more comfortable around the opposite sex too, which seemed patently unfair.

  “I’m not entirely sure what I want,” I admitted, sighing the words. “I like Cash, but his life is out here, and mine is on the other side of the country.”

  “Just make sure not to get ahead of yourself. You went out on one pseudo-date with a cute guy. That you happened to have lived with him for the last month and a half is immaterial. You aren’t in a relationship with him. Don’t twist your life out of joint until you understand what your true feelings are and what you want from the future. In other words, no moving to Wyoming!”

  She laughed and so did I, though what she’d said weighed heavily on my mind.

  “Think about your poor little sister, who will have to visit you in the middle of nowhere instead of cosmopolitan Manhattan!”

  I rolled my eyes and snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I’ll keep your needs at the forefront of my mind as I figure out what the hell to do with my life.”

  “That’s all I ask. I have to go, Hale. Unlike you, I have an actual date tonight.”

  “You’d better call to tell me all about it tomorrow. We’re usually done eating around nine.”

  “Just in time for Mr. Farmer to be in bed?”

  “Something like that,” I said, grinning at the thought of Cash snuggled up in his blankets and sheets. What did he wear to bed? Boxers? A T-shirt? Nothing at all? My cheeks burned at the thought of just walking to the other side of the house one night and finding out for myself. Would he ask me to leave or insist that I join him?

  “Bye, Hailey.”

  “Bye.” I set down my cell but didn’t get up to put together a small snack in the kitchen for us to eat once Cash finished with his nighttime chores and took a shower. I stared down at my hands, letting the conversation I just had with Paige turn over in my head, hoping for new insight to reveal itself. But I was hopelessly conflicted. On the one hand, I just wanted to knock out my outline and get started constructing the bare bones of my story. On the other, I wanted to see what might develop between Cash and me, given the right set of circumstances. I’d caught him looking at me a few times at the rodeo, and I could almost read what he was thinking. Or I thought I could. That was my biggest problem. I could describe a character so well, a reader would swear she’d actually met the person in real life, but I couldn’t tell what someone standing right in front of me was thinking to save my life.

  I had my future plans to consider—returning to New York to finish the first draft of my novel, so I could get it to my editor—but I also had everything I’d discovered since coming to Jackson. Paige was right. I needed to figure out what I wanted and what I was willing to do to get it. The first order of business was to decide with some kind of finality how I felt for Cash. I had a pretty good idea, especially considering certain dreams I’d been having recently. But moving forward meant making a host of other difficult decisions. Cash would never visit me in New York—that much I knew for certain. I liked it out here, but could I uproot my life? And over some guy I hadn't even known in June?

  I shook my head as I rose from the bed and walked out to the kitchen. I had to figure something out, and I only had a month left to do it.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Cash

  The Next Morning

  Sunday was the only day I slept in, though not by much. I still woke at the regular time and lay in bed thinking about how well things had gone the day before at the rodeo. Hailey and I had a pretty nice day together. It was the first time I’d taken a woman out in such a long while, I nearly forgot how to act. I wasn’t sure if she thought of what we’d done yesterday as a date, but she seemed open to the idea of us getting closer to one another. We rode the Ferris wheel right before leaving for the night, and there was a moment when she looked over at me, her blue eyes so wide and gorgeous that I forgot everything else going on between us and nearly kissed her right then and there. The look in her eyes was dragging me closer by the front of my shirt. But I didn’t. I hated not being better at this. I just couldn’t read what she wanted me to do, if anything. That was a possibility, too. She was a nice person who seemed friendly with just about everyone she met. Could be she just wanted someone to pal around with while she was here. I didn’t want to make a damned fool out of myself by jumping at an opportunity to move things to the next level that didn’t really exist. Eric would know just what to do in this situation, but I sure as hell didn’t. And I didn’t want to ask his advice and face the laughter that would come with it. I loved the man to death, but I was damned tired of being laughed at all the damned time when it came to women.

  Sighing, I figured that even if Hailey didn’t consider what we’d done yesterday as a date, at least I’d shown her a good time while also exposing her to a little more of what life out West was like. It was why she was out here to begin with, right? Maybe I could find reasons to get her off the farm once or twice more before she went back to her side of the country.

  I got out of bed after another solid hour of musing over all this and took a quick shower to wash away whatever tiredness was left. I’d slept well, and hadn’t worked as hard yesterday as I usually did on a Saturday. Of course, taking most of the day off would mean I had more to do today, but that was fine. Spending the day with Hailey had been worth it, even if it never amounted to anything substantial. But I needed to sweat out some of what had building up in me after being so close to her for so long. I kept seeing her body stretched out on my bed, inviting me to climb on top of her. Shit. I was getting hard just thinking of it.

  I turned my mind sharply in another direction, focusing instead on getting dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. I slid my feet into my boots just as the phone rang in the kitchen. It rang two times before my paralysis broke. Hardly anyone called me out here — just my parents and Eric, who never called this early.

  I ran out to the kitchen, boots clomping on wood floors, and picked up the phone hanging on the wall before it was too late.

  “Hello?’

  “Cash, I’m glad I caught you before you left the house for the morning.” It was my dad. My folks lived about two hours outside of Jackson. Usually, if anyone called, it was my mom, and it was on a Su
nday evening just after suppertime. My heartbeat quickened. Something had to have gone wrong for him to call like this.

  “Dad?” I asked, frowning at the empty kitchen. A little bit of light was coming in from the window as the sun woke up in the sky, but it was hazy and dark in here. “What’s wrong? Is Mom okay?”

  “She’s fine, son,” he said quickly, and I relaxed just a little. “I’m calling about Uncle Rog. He’s not doing well.” He paused to let that sink in.

  After a long moment, I asked, “What do you mean, not doing well? What’s going on?”

  “We’re waiting on a report from the hospital, but it sounds like he may have had a massive heart attack. He’s in pretty bad shape, and we’re not sure if he’ll make it through the rest of the day. Your mother and I are flying out to Colorado later today to help Rog’s kids through this.”

  “What do you need me to do?” I asked. I leaned my butt against the counter, too shocked by the early morning phone call and the news I was hearing to do much else. The last I’d seen of Uncle Rog had been the prior year around Christmas. He’d seemed okay then, but a lot could change in a short period of time for someone that age. He’d never watched his weight and had gotten even unhealthier in his old age, smoking cigars, drinking, and eating whatever he damn well pleased. Dad stayed on him about it, but Rog never really listened.

  “Nothing but what you’re doing now. I don’t expect you to drop everything and fly out to Colorado today. I know you’ve got the farm. I just wanted you to know what’s going on so you’ll be ready to fly out for the funeral.”