Our Fate

by Cathy Johns

  As if sensing where my thoughts are, he pins me against the wall before breaking the kiss and cupping my cheeks.

  “Look at me.” He demands in that husky voice of his. I close my eyes briefly before opening them again and looking at him. “I’m not going anywhere, Shae. I’m not leaving you ever again.” He kisses me gently. “I said you can pick up a fight with me tomorrow, but today… just let me hold you right now. Let me feel you, baby.” He doesn’t give me the chance to answer him because his mouth is back on mine, this time he’s gentle, kissing me soft and slow as if making love to my mouth and I lose it. I start rubbing myself against his dick, up and down then in circles, and I can’t get enough. I want more.

  So, I beg him with my kisses and the press of my fingers digging into his back. I’m so close and I want more. I want him to take me over the edge, watch me fall because it’s only been him who knows how to make my body detonate like some whirlwind.

  Marcus lifts both of my hands and pins them with one of his above my head, his mouth never leaving mine. He trails the side of my breast with his free hand before grazing his thumb on my already hard nipple. I arch my back, pushing the nipple against his finger, wanting more and more, I get it when he unbuttons my shirt, pulling my black lacy bra down and latching his hungry mouth on my nipple. A loud moan escapes my mouth when he sucks and nips hard before swirling his tongue around it to soothe the pain there.

  My head falls back, rubbing myself shamelessly on his dick, chasing after the relief that I so desperately want.

  “Oh, God, Marcus…” I whimper, pushing my nipple deeper into his mouth. “I’m going to come… Fuck.” He’s so merciless with me right now and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  He takes the hard peak between his teeth, his tongue teasing it and I curse. The words coming out of my mouth appear to be words from a stranger because I don’t even recognize my own voice. I’m so lost that I don’t realize he has dropped the hand that was pinning mine up above my head, until it cups my other breast, squeezing gently before yanking my bra down and taking my nipple between his fingers.

  “Fuck…” we both say.

  “Baby, you’re going to make me come,” he says, when I rotate my hip and my clit aligns with his dick. I must be soaking wet because I can feel it in my panties.

  “I’ve got you, Shae. Come for me.” One more lick on my sensitive nipple and a roll between his fingers and I’m coming, hard, trembling, screaming his name. The orgasm tears me apart and I’m falling, but he doesn’t stop his sweet torture, prolonging and chasing after my orgasm. My head falls against his shoulder, spent out and weak but I can’t complain because that’s one hell of an orgasm, but I can’t say the same for my nipples because they are sensitive to the touch and the beast of a man can’t stop sucking on them even now.

  “Marcus,” I whimper.

  “Mm-hmm.” His voice vibrates against my nipple. I know he’s not going to let go so I cup his face and gently pull him from my breast.

  “I can’t get enough,” he says, reaching again and swipes his tongue on my other nipple. I cup my breasts and scowl at him.

  “I know,” I say in agreement because I want him again, but this time I want us both naked. I can’t have that for two reasons: one, I’m in the office and two, I’m supposed to be so fucking mad at him.

  “I love you, Shae.” He drops the words at me from nowhere, like those words are supposed to mean anything after all this time. I’d be a damn fool if I said they didn’t make me want to believe him. Does he know how long I waited for him to say those words to me? God, I’m a fool. I just wanted him to look me in the eye and tell me he wanted us to give whatever we had a chance and see where it would go from there but no, he just upped and left me. He was all I could think of, all I wanted but he didn’t want me. I wasn’t worth trying anything serious with but here I am making out with him in the staff’s room, wanting his touch again when I should be asking him to leave. Before I can push him away, he grabs my arms gently and continues. “I know it’s hard for you to believe me and I don’t blame you if you never do, but I want you to know that I’ve been in love with you for the longest time. I might have loved you that first day I got to taste your lips on mine in that elevator. It was confusing as fuck and even after having been with you for a year, never made things easier for me. I knew what I was feeling was as real as it came and that’s why I left. I know I said we couldn’t have more than what we had, but I fell for you, Shae.” He inhales deeply, before rubbing his thumb on my now thoroughly well kissed, swollen lips. “I don’t expect you to believe me, hell, you might even not trust me but that’s the truth, baby. I love you and I’m going to spend the rest of my life groveling, showing you how much of a fool I was to have left.” He looks at me deep and I see the truth in his words, but my heart is hurting. “That is after you’re done kicking my ass.” He chuckles.

  I gaze at him, trying to wrap my mind around his confession. I know he didn’t just say those words just to make me feel good because I’ll still be kicking his ass come tomorrow, but it’s the way he said those words. I always knew he felt everything, he wanted more but he always held back. Why? That’s something I can’t grasp.

  I pull him into my arms and hug him tightly. I love that he’s here pouring his heart out to me, I know I’m ready to say those words back at him, but not yet. Maybe when I’m satisfied with his groveling and I’m done kicking his ass.

  “You can bet on that because I’ll be doing more than kicking your ass, darling.” I tease him, nipping on his earlobe. “That ass is mine, baby,” I murmur those last words before planting a kiss on his cheek.

  With that said, he hugs me tight against him, my breasts pressing against his shirt and I moan when my oversensitive nipples rub against his shirt.

  “I’m not letting you near my tits again.” I fake a pout.

  He swats my ass playfully. “All talk,” he murmurs. “I know you’ll be letting me near them when you’re done kicking my ass.”

  I shake my head knowing this is pointless arguing with him because one touch from him and I’ll be begging to be naked.

  “Don’t try your luck,” I tease.

  “Who says I’m trying?” He lifts his gaze at me and winks.

  “You’re impossible,” I murmur and like I said, it’s pointless when it comes to him.

  Marcus

  I still can’t believe I got to hold her in my arms, kiss her, taste those lips that I couldn’t get enough of as they pressed against mine. I thought I was dreaming the minute I gazed up at her. I thought my brain was playing a dirty trick on me but nope, she was there. Those brown eyes of hers, that always calmed my raging storm, checking me out. I thought I was hallucinating, and what a beautiful hallucination it was, seeing the woman my heart couldn’t seem to forget right in front of my eyes.

  My Shae.

  God, I didn’t have the right to go calling her mine after what I did to her. We could have been together if I had pulled whatever was crawling up my ass out of it sooner, but my past and everything I had been through wouldn’t let me.

  I felt like I was in a dream that I didn’t want to wake up from. The confusion, then realization that it was me, had her scowling her face at me before turning her gaze from mine the minute Greg stepped in to greet her, but what followed next was no dream. When I held her in my arms, her body flush against mine, clinging to me as I devoured her mouth, her tits, and the way she kept rubbing herself against my dick, had me fighting not to lay her on top of the table and tear her clothes off and tasting her like I wanted. I felt sorry for my dick, which wasn’t so happy with me since it couldn’t come out to play. Reminding my dick there’s always the next time and I’ll make it worthwhile, reminding her how long it has been and who she belongs to.

  It may not have meant much to someone else, having gone for so long wondering and kicking their ass for walking out on the best thing that has ever happened to them, but Shae, she’s my girl.
She means the world to me and I hope like hell that she believed me when I confessed my love for her. I love her, I’ve loved her since I first laid my eyes on her. God, I still don’t know how I lived without her for the past three years, but this time I’m not letting her go.

  I was a fool the first time, allowing my fears and pain to determine what was best for me when what was best for me was standing in front of me all along. I allowed my past to rule my life, not caring that she might have felt the same thing that I was feeling. What we had was more than a connection, it was perfect, good and true, but I fucking ruined it because I always felt I was never good enough for her. Even when I saw the love she had for me through her eyes, I still went ahead and did something stupid when I walked out of her life.

  I thought only about myself back then, but not this time. This time it’s going to be all about her. I’ll do anything to win her back. I may have asked her for a day to hold her, touch her, kiss her, then she can kick my ass later—which I don’t mind—but I’m going to prove to her that what I’d said weren’t just words. That’s what I felt back then and still feel even now. I love her and don’t know what I’d do if I was to lose her again. I think I’d die. No. Not think, I sure as hell knew that I would die. I couldn’t live another day without her in my life. Period.

  It’s been three fucking miserable years since I last saw her and now she’s here, looking way more beautiful and gorgeous than I remembered. I rake my fingers through my hair, tugging gently on the long untamed strands that always find their way to my forehead as I think of how to win her back. Just because I kissed her yesterday didn’t mean today she’d want to get naked and ask me to fuck her, even though the thought of it is appealing.

  I saw the way she looked at me when I was leaving the shop, her body spoke another inviting language with her lips swollen from our kisses but her eyes, those beautiful brown eyes of hers, spoke words that her mouth couldn’t. She still looked hurt and not sure if she trusted me. Hell, even I wouldn’t put my trust in someone if I was the one who was walked away from that meant the world to me and was gone for over three years. I hurt her pretty badly and one kiss won’t be able to make up for the lost time. I will spend the rest of my life groveling, making things better between us.

  I want to put back that smile that always had my heart pounding so hard against my chest. I want to hear her laugh again, hear that voice that did things to me, but above all else, I want to prove my love for her is not just words I spewed out, I meant them from the bottom of my heart.

  I walk around my office desk towards the floor to ceiling window that overlooks the city and take in the view that has always helped me cope. I know it’s the same view with people going about their day, but it’s not the same when I look at it this morning. Today I’m not the usual me, never been this happy something my secretary did not fail to mention. God, even the Big Guy up above knows I can’t thank him enough for sending my little miracle my way. By no means am I a church person, how can I forget the many Sundays that my mama made me attend church? Didn’t matter if I wanted to or not, it was non-negotiable when it came to her and now, I miss her.

  She was the only person who knew how to handle me, even when I became of age and had to go start my business, and I know she would have been so proud of me to see me right now. Hell, by no means was it easy going into the market that had so many local families in the winery industry, but I did it without fear. Many would have backed out, especially with the threats that I kept receiving. But not me, not Marcus Jackson. I was taught how to walk with my head held up high and that’s how I did it. Eight years now and my name has become a household name around Santa Rosa, but that doesn’t make me feel like I have conquered the world since I don’t have the one thing that will make me feel whole, at least not yet.

  My thoughts go back to the heart-shaped lips that I can’t seem to get enough of and those brown eyes that see right through me. Shae, what a fool I was to walk away from her.

  I know I don’t let people in, fearing they’ll leave just like Mama did. She was all I had, but she was taken so soon from my life before I could make her proud. Stupid cancer.

  I shake my head, clearing my thoughts in the process. I don’t want to think about Mama or what became of my life after she was gone because it takes me back to that one year I found what made my heart whole but fear, fear made me walk away from it. Fear made me walk away from her. But, I intend to win her back, and at the same time remind myself that fear doesn’t make me who I am.

  I pull my phone from my pocket and dial the only number that I know and haven’t used for years. After the third ring, her voice fills my ear through the phone and straight to my head and my body comes alive.

  “Yes, hello.” She answers the phone, panting.

  “Hello, beautiful,” I say calmly, rubbing against my chest where my heart is pounding so hard.

  “Marcus?” she whispers.

  “Yes, beautiful,” I gasp, trying to calm my nerves which isn’t easy with the way my damn hands are shaking, it’s like hearing her voice for the first time.

  I don’t know what she’s thinking because she goes quiet for a while. I know I said she could kick my ass today and I’ve been waiting for it but…

  “I didn’t know you still had my number?” The pain in her voice when she asks that makes me want to kick my own ass, hard. I can’t lie to her, so I go with the truth.

  “I couldn’t bring myself to lose it.” I couldn’t bring myself to delete it from my contacts. It was the only contact that I had left that reminded me of her.

  “But you never called.” I can feel the pain and anguish in her voice and I don’t like it one bit. I want to be there with her, to take the pain away, to make her understand the reason why I couldn’t call and why I had to leave—which doesn’t make sense to me.

  “Shae, baby…” I whisper, not sure of what I should say to make it all better then I hear her clearing her voice.

  “I have to go.” Before I can say anything, she disconnects the call and my world comes shattering around me. I should have called, I should have kept in touch, but for her to find out that I had her number all this time and I did nothing, that must have been heart-wrenching if I should put it that way.

  I put my phone back in my pocket, my other hand raking my hair. I have to make this better. I have to get to her, fight with her until she gets it, even when I know it’s not going to be easy.

  I walk out of my office with one destination in mind.

  Shae

  Hearing him say that he has always had my phone number but never called truly did a number on me. It was like someone took a knife and twisted it in my heart. The pain and anguish that I felt made me unable to breathe and lightheaded. Did I mean so little to him? And there I was yesterday, rubbing myself against all that is sinful of him, but he had my number but never bothered to find out how I was? I’m such a fool. I’m so stupid and when will my heart ever learn that it’s never wanted, when will it ever learn that no one wants me, that no one sticks around? My parents never wanted me, that’s why they left me at my grandparents doorstep. And when I thought I had found someone of worth, he said he never wanted anything serious and it was going to be just sex and yes, it was good sex, mind-blowing sex before he got tired then upped and left.

  I try to fight the tears falling from my eyes, but I can’t. The pain is too much for me to bare, so I let them fall. I let it all out with each tear ripping me apart, piece by piece, one thought after another. I lean my back against my office door and push down till my butt hits the floor. I wrap my hands around my waist and lean my head on my folded knees and just let it all out. I thought I was coming to Santa Rosa to start all over, to find the new me but here I am, two days after leaving home, my heart in shambles and I can’t stop crying even after promising myself that I’d never allow myself to feel like this because of anyone. But it’s Marcus. The one man I can’t stop loving.

  I don’t know ho
w long I stay on the floor, but my butt really hurts, and I don’t have the energy to lift myself up until I hear a soft knock on the door and a deep husky voice calling my name. I know that voice, that voice that has haunted most of my dreams.

  I don’t want to see him, I’m not ready to talk to him. Right now, I feel vulnerable. I want him to go away but I can’t bring myself to say the words as more tears flow from my eyes. I don’t want to feel like this, I want to go back to the person I was before Marcus, before I came to this beautiful town.

  “Please, leave me alone,” I whisper, not sure anyone has heard me, and I don’t care.

  I hear the lock turn, and someone pushes the door. I don’t care to look up because I can see the shoes of the person. It’s one of those expensive shoes that defines a man, but I don’t care. The man who has walked into my office is the last man I want to see, even when my heart is thrilled to have him in the same room.

  “Shae, baby,” he whispers before kneeling beside be and resting his head on my shoulder. I whimper when he wraps his strong arms around me, engulfing me.

  I can’t seem to utter a single word, so I stay there, his arms around me with my tears falling.

  I don’t know how long we stay like that with him whispering words, words that I have waited for him to say for the past three years but he’s saying them now. I know he loves me but is love ever enough? But you love him too. That voice in my head reminds me of what I have felt all this time. My heart has always belonged to him, back then and even now, he owns my heart. Hell, he owns me, all that I am.