by A. J. Downey
I could put up with Archer’s cold, his hatred of me, his caustic dislike… I could put up with being single and alone for the rest of my days, as long as he treated my son like he was now. I could do this. I could do this for as long as it took, for the rest of my life, as long as Noah had men to look up to. As long as my son had every idea of what brotherhood and family was supposed to be.
For the first time since arriving here, in this strange town, so very far away from anything and anyone I’d ever known, I knew no fear and had no regrets. I stood in the doorway of Archer’s bedroom and drank every detail of this morning in. The light growing, and casting lines across the man and my boy through the slats of the blinds.
You can do this Melody. You have to… for him. I thought, and as I ever did, took strength from it, I took a picture, and I did what every mother before me had likely done… I went into the kitchen, forgot my tired, made coffee, and started breakfast like it was just any other day and I hadn’t just seen something that profoundly changed me, or mattered to me.
Chapter 10
Archer
I woke up with the boy on my chest and to the quiet sounds of Mel moving through the kitchen. My stomach growled and I looked down, but the boy was still out cold. Kids. They could sleep through a nuclear holocaust and this particular kid was no different.
I sat up slowly, carefully, and got up, taking Noah to his crib and laying him down. He didn’t so much as stir. Might as well have been comatose. When I turned to look, Mel was watching me over the stove, spatula in hand. I raised an eyebrow at her somber, almost sad, expression and realized – she looked like shit. Like she hadn’t slept in a fucking age. I didn’t comment on that, I just waited her out because it looked like she had something to say.
“You can treat me however you’d like,” she said softly, flipping the pancake she had going in the skillet. “As long as you don’t do it in front of him and as long as you treat him the way you just did, always… Am I clear?”
I frowned, “Where the fuck did that come from?” I asked.
She shook her head, “Never mind that, I just need to know, am I perfectly clear on this?”
Truth be told, her intensity was kind of freaking me out, so I nodded and when she raised her eyebrows I realized she wanted to hear it, or maybe needed to hear me say it out loud… “Yeah, Mel. You’re clear, I get you…”
“Thank you,” she uttered and flipped the pancakes she had going in the skillet onto a plate after a few heartbeats more.
I just wanted to get off this super fucking weird bent she was on, it was seriously creepy as fuck, so I asked, “Is there coffee?”
“Absolutely, still take it with cream and no sugar?” she asked and again I blinked. I hadn’t realized that she’d ever paid that much attention to anything that weren’t my brother Grinder’s dick.
“Yeah.”
She made me coffee, she served my food and I was glad I’d remembered the syrup. Of course, when I said I would do something I did it. I was a man of my word. Maybe that was why she’d been so adamant about whatever the fuck it was that put a wild hair up her ass the minute before.
“Wanna tell me what that was all about?” I asked, shoveling some pancake drowned in syrup in my mouth. My curiosity winning out more than my desire to let it lie.
“No,” she murmured.
“Suit yourself,” I said with a shrug. I let it go, I didn’t want to pursue it that fuckin’ bad. Females, who the fuck knew why they did half the shit they did?
I ate, and she watched me, sitting at the opposite end of the table from me, her hands wrapped around a fresh, steaming mug of coffee, huddled in on herself like she was cold or something. She had on this thin cotton bathrobe with the wide sleeves, like something outta China or something. It looked good on her. Suited her color, or whatever, but I’d be fucked if I’d tell her so. I didn’t need her going back to primping and fucking with makeup in a mirror forever like she had when she’d been nailing my brother. I needed her to take care of her boy, and maybe get a job if that’s what she wanted.
“Get any of them applications in?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said with a worried frown.
“What’s that look for?”
“With as much as you work, I don’t know how I’m going to…”
“What do you mean?” she gave me an exasperated look and it pissed me off some so I told her, “Quit lookin’ at me like I’m stupid or some shit and spit it out.”
“Who’s going to watch Noah?” I asked.
“Mm, I’ll figure it out.” She stared at me wide eyed, her mouth very nearly hanging open. “What?” I demanded.
“Nothing, I… I just…” I pinned her with a look, what, didn’t she fuckin’ trust me? Jesus Christ, I took her and the kid’s ass in, didn’t that earn me a little bit of trust? She was saved from answering me, and I was stopped from saying anything else because right then was when the boy chose to stir, pushing himself into a sit and rubbing his eyes.
“Good morning!” Melody said, and her worried expression was just gone – poof, just like that; like it hadn’t been carved into every line of her face just a second before.
“I gotta get to work,” I grumbled, and took my ass into the bedroom. I grabbed like a five minute shower, a cold one to wake up that really had absolutely nothing to do with Mel and that little robe of hers. I redressed quick in a fresh shirt, fresh pair of boxers and the same pair of jeans from the day before. I grabbed a fresh pair of socks and sat on the end of the bed to put them on.
Mel was talking to Noah and I watched her for a minute as she interacted with her boy. She was different than the girl we’d all left behind in Arizona. More mature, more grown up. I think the word you’re looking for is responsible, you dick. I thought to myself and it sounded suspiciously like Grinder’s voice in my head.
I knew it was all me, though. I didn’t believe in ghosts or any kind of afterlife. You died and that was it. It was like turning off a television set. The picture went out, the screen went dark and that was that. I also believed that you only got this one life. That there weren’t any do overs. There weren’t no such thing as heaven and if there was a hell? Well we very surely was livin’ in it.
“You okay?” Mel asked and I snapped out of it, shaking my head a bit, to clear it.
Blinking a few times, I answered her, “Yeah, just deep thinkin’ I guess.”
“You’re going to be late,” she murmured.
“Don’t nag me, woman,” I said and I meant it in jest but all it did was make her blanch.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way… I’ll keep my mouth shut,” she uttered and I frowned.
“Yeah, okay.” I got up and went over to the couch pulling my boots on. “See you, same bat time, same bat channel, you be good for your mom, Kiddo,” I told Noah.
“Unca Atcha, bye-bye,” Noah said and opened and closed his little hand in a wave. I felt myself smile in spite of myself and waved back at him.
“See you later, Squirt,” and with that, I opened up the front door. “Lock up after me,” I ordered Mel and she nodded, rising gracefully from her seat in that way that only women could.
“See you tonight,” she said and I gave a nod, shutting the door tight so I wouldn’t have to look at her and the worry that was carving ruts into her face and the dark circles that were taking up residence under her blue eyes.
***
“You rang?” Dragon asked, making lazy strides in my direction a few hours later at the garage.
“Yeah, I need your help with somethin’ P.”
Dragon arched a salt and pepper eyebrow and said, “Oh yeah? You got my interest, what might that be?”
I couldn’t get my back and forth with Mel that morning out of my head and it was taking over just about every thought I had like some kind of cancer.
“You got a way with scared females, like you’re the fuckin’ pussy whisperer or somethin’,” I said with a sniff. Dragon laughed, a deep be
lly laugh that started off a chuckle and grew into a dull roar.
“Somethin’ goin’ on with Grind’s baby mamma I should know about?” he asked, wiping a tear from his eye.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly, “but I got my suspicions that there’s more than meets the eye, her comin’ here like she did.”
“Ah, I see.” He was quiet a minute, real thoughtful, “Bring her by the club on Friday, I’ll have a talk with her.”
I gave a nod, “Thanks, Dragon,” I said relieved. I still didn’t give a shit about whatever might follow her out this way, but damn. Something had to give, she looked like she was gonna worry herself sick.
“Anything for a Brother, that’s how we operate. How many times I gotta tell you that?”
“Well, he’s got an awful thick skull,” Rush said, striding up. He’d missed most of the conversation but he’d at least caught Dragon’s last line.
“Yeah? Fuck you, asshole,” I told my brother and threw my rag at him which he deftly dodged with a shit eating grin.
“See you and this mystery girl on Friday,” Dragon said and Rush’s expression fell.
“Something wrong with Mel and Noah?” he asked.
“Nope, now mind your own fuckin’ business and get your ass back to work,” I said.
“Hey, here you’re not the boss of me,” Rush said with a wink, but he missed that Dray was coming up on his ass.
“No, but I am, now get your ass back to work,” Dray said. Rush gave me a one-fingered salute, and Dray a proper one and ducked under the hood of his latest project. Dray bent and picked up my rag off the garage floor, handing it to me.
“What’s up?” I asked him, half expecting him to ask what I’d brought his pops over here for, but he didn’t. He asked me about a car I’d worked on a couple of weeks before and it was business as usual after that – for real this time. I was finally able to put Mel and her weird requests and busted ass expressions to the back of my mind for the time being.
I finished out the day pretty strong and rode back home. I walked into a noisy disaster. It looked like the honeymoon of having a toddler added to the equation was over. Noah was running around shouting a bunch of nonsense while Mel stood in the kitchen rubbing her forehead yelling for him to stop. She meant business, too; busting out every little kid’s worst nightmare… the dreaded parental countdown.
“One!” She called out but it was too late, Noah crashed into the front of my legs hard enough to knock him flat on his ass. He looked up at me and I looked down at him and I demanded.
“Just what do you think yer doin’?” and he burst into noisy alligator tears. I looked at Mel with a clear look that asked, why the fuck is your kid crying? But all she could do was look back at me, her shoulders dropping in sheer, worn out, exhaustion and I had a feeling it’d pretty much been like this all day.
Fuckin’ great.
I left Noah where he was and shut the door behind me, and by the time I turned back around Mel had scooped him up.
“Why are you crying?” she demanded tersely and sounded just like every other mother I’d ever heard who was damn near at the end of her rope. I called in the cavalry, I shot a text off to Rush and Nox both.
“Unca Atcha scawy!” Noah said and broke into a fresh peal of screeching toddler whining cry. I couldn’t stand that shit.
“I’m gonna get a shower, and when I get back out here, you’re gonna be stopped. You hear me?” I asked him, which only made him wail harder despite my attempt at a tickle.
“I’m so sorry, Archer, he’s just been like this all day, and I’ve been trying to keep up and I was trying to get dinner done and you’re home already and I don’t know where the time went and –” I raised a hand to stem the tide of Mel’s babbling.
“I don’t care, Mel. I’m going to grab a shower and by the time I get out, he’ll be settled down. Shit, I just want some dinner and a night in.” I went past her and Noah and into my room shutting the door. Sure enough, when I got out of the shower, the boy was quiet and I could hear Nox out there playing with him.
I threw on fresh jeans and a clean shirt and went out, tying my hair up and back into a damp pony. I went into the kitchen and took the spoon out of Mel’s hand.
“What have you got going on in here?” I asked.
“Tomato soup and grilled cheese?” I raised an eyebrow, and shook my head. She’d had a hell of a day.
“I think I can manage, go lay down, take a nap or something,” I grated and she very nearly slunk out of the kitchen. Nox and I exchanged a look and when the door shut quietly behind her, he mouthed at me ‘what the fuck?’
It was a good question, I didn’t have an answer. I finished up the food and Nox fed the kid and we put him down after a talking to that I think maybe only like twenty-five percent of it got through his little toddler brain.
I looked in on Mel and she was passed out. I let her sleep.
“I gotta run, man,” Nox said quietly and I nodded.
“Thanks for comin’,” I said.
“No problem, he’s my nephew, too. What’s going on with Mel?” I gave a one shouldered shrug.
“Not sleepin’ so hot, I guess. I’m not really sure. She hasn’t said shit to me.”
Nox gave me a look like I was a dumbass, “Not like you’re the easiest guy to fuckin’ talk to,” he said and I gave another shrug. “Right,” he said dubiously, “I’ll see you around.”
“See you around, little brother,” I affirmed and shut the door behind him.
I checked my phone, and Rush had texted back some dumbassed excuse as to why he couldn’t come around tonight. I didn’t care, Nox had been enough. I went over to the couch and dropped onto it with an overblown sigh, Noah watching me through the bars of his crib.
“Go to sleep, kid.”
He grinned his adorable baby grin at me and I felt my mouth quirk up on one side into a smile I couldn’t resist. Even on a bad night, it wasn’t so bad havin’ ‘em here. I was kind of surprised by that, and by how easy they’d fit into things. I didn’t have much time to dwell on it though, I think I passed out before the kid even had a chance.
Chapter 11
Melody
I’d done as Archer had ordered and had gone to lay down. I hadn’t meant to sleep for so long, but exhaustion had sucked me under and held me in some kind of comatose death grip, because the next thing I knew, I was dragged back up out of sleep by the alarm on my phone.
I hadn’t even changed for bed, and sat up, still in my clothes from the day before. I pushed my hair off my forehead and clambered to my feet, waiting for my sleep fogged brain to orient its self.
Breakfast, I need to cook breakfast…
I went out into the living room and spied the empty couch, Noah’s attention rapt on the TV screen as cartoons played. I turned to look and Archer stood in the kitchen, eyeing me.
“Sit down before you fall down, Mel.”
I walked over to the little four person dining table and sank into one of the chairs. Archer brought over a glass of orange juice and set it down in front of me. I picked it up with a shaky grip and sucked some of it down.
“Better?” he asked, and I nodded. “When was the last time you ate something?” he asked me and I thought about it. He sighed and said, “If you have to think about it, it’s been too fuckin’ long. Jesus, Mel. How you expect to take care of him if you can’t even take care of yourself?”
Ouch again. He was right, of course he was, but his comment more than stung. The knife went deep and twisted in my heart and I focused my gaze on my sweet little boy, transfixed by ninja turtles on the small screen. I felt tears slip free and wiped them away quickly. I didn’t answer Archer, figuring the question what rhetorical, but I couldn’t help but wonder what it was exactly that I’d done to make him hate me so much.
“Here, eat this,” he said dropping a plate in front of me. He called to my son, “Come on, Noah. Come help your mommy eat her breakfast,” and I closed my eyes and drew a deep, s
teadying breath. I reminded myself, that as long as he treated Noah well, and Noah didn’t know anything was amiss, I could take whatever he dished out. I’d done it with my mother and stepfather in Arizona, but anything Archer did was a pale imitation of their cruelty.
You can do this, Melody. You have to… for Noah. I told myself.
“Mommy, up!” I opened my eyes and plastered on a brave smile for my brave little boy and lifted him up onto my lap.
“Good morning,” I said and he hugged me and I loved that he loved me, despite how much of an utter failure I was.
Eggs and bacon, alongside toast, loaded with butter and jam sat on the plate in front of Noah and me, and as always, I made sure my child was full before I bothered to feed myself. Archer sat with his own plate in front of him, drinking coffee and watching us. When Noah had enough and started to squirm, I put him down and he went back to the couch, climbing back up onto it and resuming his cartoons. I finished the food on the plate, my cheeks burning under Archer’s cold, green-gold gaze.
“I didn’t mean to sleep for so long,” I murmured.
“You obviously needed it, I don’t mind so long as you don’t make a habit of pawning breakfast off on me.” I winced at that, and couldn’t meet his gaze.
“Jesus, Mel. What the fuck happened to you?” he asked and I looked up sharply.
“Language in front of Noah, please.”
“Sorry,” he grimaced. “My question stands though, what’s going on? You’re not the same woman we left behind.”
“Of course I’m not,” I said gently, “The girl you all left in Arizona was scared and pregnant with her first child; the woman you see now is a mother to a one and a half year old boy. They’re worlds apart, Archer.”
He looked like he tasted something bad, took a drink of his coffee to wash it down and said, “Well regardless, the Pres out here wants to see you and the boy on Friday, so fix you and the kid some dinner and meet me at the club after I get off work,” he said. I felt myself pale and he eyed me, before asking, “Now what’s wrong?”