CHAPTER 5
Friday was always one of Katryn’s busiest days at work. It usually was even busier than Saturday. This Friday proved to be no exception. Dottie came in at lunch and stayed the day. Other than a thought, periodically, about the change in strategy, Katryn had little time to think about the team, or Paul.
She did, occasionally, catch herself looking up, half expecting to see him in the doorway, though. She kept telling herself she was glad he did not show, in fact used his non-appearance as proof he was not interested. There was that small part of her, however, that was a little let down.
Saturday was another busy day with Dottie staying until closing. Katryn dropped Dottie off on her way home. She picked up Happy Meals for the boys and a fish sandwich for herself.
After a rushed supper, Katryn changed into her roller skating clothes. They consisted of a matching blue sweatshirt and sweatpants that could take the occasional landings she knew she would experience. She had decided from the first time out, there was no sense in trying to dress nice for skating. She spent too much time falling down to dress up!
Katryn drove up to Roller Valley hoping Julie would not be there. After all, if Paul actually called and asked Julie out, even that tiny persistent part inside her would quit hoping. Katryn and the boys had their skates on and were headed towards the skating floor when they heard Julie’s voice.
“Hold on you three; give me a minute to get my skates on.” Katryn sent the boys out to skate, and she went to sit on the bench beside Julie.
“Paul didn’t call,” Katryn guessed.
“No. But I’m not giving up,” Julie told her. “Don’t get mad that I’m asking, but he didn’t call you, did he?”
“No, he sure didn’t. He wouldn’t have had any reason to.”
“Katryn, if he did ask...”
“I’d tell him no. You ought to know that.”
“I know. I’m sorry I asked,” Julie apologized.
They spent the rest of the evening alternating between resting and roller skating. Timmy and Ryan asked them for every couples skate, and they had some fun with the ‘Hokey Pokey’.
Katryn was relieved when Julie finally talked herself out about Paul, and they were able to spend time teasing the boys about who were the better skaters. Of course, the fact that the boys had not fallen nearly as often as the women, did not count at all, they told Timmy and Ryan.
By the time they headed home, they were all worn out, but in good spirits. The boys had always enjoyed being around Julie. She liked to spend time with them, too, treating them more like her friends than just her friend’s kids.
Before they went to bed, Katryn’s sons told her all about the day they had spent with Audrey. She had a picnic with them in the living room. They quickly assured their mother that they had put a plastic table cloth down to protect the carpet, then went on to tell her they had played games, watched movies and had a great time.
Katryn listened, and found she was just a little jealous of Audrey. This was one of the few times that having a wonderful sitter was a two-edged sword. She was really grateful that Audrey was so good with her boys. She could never have found a more caring, or trustworthy sitter. But she sometimes envied the fun her boys had with Audrey. And during the school year, it often seemed Audrey spent more time with Timmy and Ryan than she did, since Sundays were their only full day together.
When school got out for the summer, though, Katryn took Mondays off. Then she and the boys had two days off together. And she had to admit she also took off part of her Saturday’s during soccer season. So far she had never had to miss a game, thanks to Dottie’s totally flexible schedule. She had to admit to herself, then that the one drawback to owning her own business, working six days a week, was not really so bad, after all.
Katryn and her sons spent a quiet Sunday at home. The boys had pedal cars in the basement, and she had made ‘garages’ out of refrigerator boxes she had acquired. They drove around in their cars for hours. They also had their toys and rocking horses in the one carpeted room in the basement, and played contently with them. When Katryn realized she had only seen them sporadically all day, she smiled to herself, remembering how jealous she had been of Audrey the night before. Today her boys were too busy for her anyway. And she usually did not mind the time alone.
Katryn relaxed in the living room with a good book, and tried to enjoy a fairly perfect day. The problem was Paul. The more she tried to forget him, the more he seemed to be becoming an addiction. No matter what she tried to read, her mind would wander back to him. She turned on the TV, and still she couldn’t concentrate for more than a few minutes. No matter what she did, she could not get him out of her mind.
Lectures were no help. She could tell herself a million times she had to forget him, but it did not work. Through supper, the boys’ book and her own soak in the tub, she was preoccupied with Paul. When she finally was in bed, ready for sleep, she wondered exactly how long she could continue this way.
Nor was her sleep restful. When she awoke, restless and surly in the morning, she remembered bits and pieces of dreams she had been having about him. She remembered how she felt when he touched her all over, in one dream. Following quickly on the heels of that dream, though, were memories of a much less pleasant dream.
She remembered that in it she and Julie were enemies because of Paul. Then Paul left and Katryn was completely alone. She experienced, for a moment, that awful, empty, cold, sensation of being totally friendless, totally alone - deserted. Reminding herself that she could well indeed end up being just that friendless if Julie believed she was after Paul, she vowed again she would not let him come between them. No man was worth that price.
She showered quickly to wash away all the bits and pieces of her dreams. She steeled herself against Paul, knowing full well that she really could lock away those feelings. She had done it before, over the years, and she could do it again. She went to work with her resolve intact, and was glad Monday was busier than usual.
She walked into the gym Monday evening, and set up the net with Tom. Julie showed up next and motioned for Katryn to join her by the water fountain. She left Tom with a volleyball and joined Julie.
“Katryn, are you sure you’re not interested in Paul?” Julie asked before Katryn even said hi.
“I told you he’s all yours,” Katryn answered warily. “Why? What’s up?”
“I’ve just been thinking about Thursday, is all. First you paired yourself with him. Second, you seemed to run into each other a lot. And then he left Denny’s shortly after you did,” Julie accused.
“Julie, Paul took John’s place. It’s only sensible I work with him rather than change two pairs around. Besides, if we change to two setters, we won’t have pairs anyway.”
“Good. But you two did run into each other a lot.”
“Not near as much as John and I did. Or even Ed, when he first joined. Paul just has to get used to my taking the second hit. And I’m sorry if he left right after I did, but Julie, I had nothing to do with that, I promise.”
“Did he call you yesterday?” Julie persisted.
“No. Nor has he been back to the store. He only wanted to find out about volleyball. I promise, he’s all yours.”
“Ok,” Julie sighed and she started towards the gym.
“This isn’t why you didn’t call last night, is it?” Katryn asked, becoming aware suddenly that she had not heard from her friend, and Julie had said Saturday night at skating that she would let Katryn know if Paul called or not. Julie looked at Katryn for a minute before admitting it was.
“It’s just that he’s everything I want in a guy. I thought maybe you WERE interested and were seeing him behind my back.”
“Oh, Julie, I’d never try to take a guy from you, you know that. Friends don’t treat each other that way. You know your friendship is too important to me to lose over a guy. I’d never see Paul behind your back; I’d never do that to you,” Katryn promised.
&nb
sp; “I guess I knew that. I just needed to hear it from you,” Julie admitted with another deep sigh. Katryn shivered a little, recalling the dream she had had about being alone. There was no longer any doubt in her mind that she had made the right decision about Paul.
Practice was going better than she could have hoped. The team picked up on two setters almost immediately. Julie was actually quite content to be a hitter, since she knew she would not do well setting. She, too, was well aware that a lot of her sets were illegal. Katryn reminded the men to set cross court sometimes, or even spike the second hit to change rhythm occasionally
“If the other team knows we always use three hits to bump, set, and spike, they’ll be ready to block every spike,” she explained. “You have to remember, though, that you have to call for the ball if you’re going to take the second hit from the setter.”
The games were going fairly well. Katryn’s only concern was Paul. While he bumped into Julie twice, and even knocked Anne over once, still it made Katryn uneasy when they had another near miss. She knew Julie was watching her closely.
Towards the end of practice, the back row bumped the ball up to between Katryn and Paul. Katryn, concentrating on getting a good set, moved over to the ball as Paul jumped up for the spike, knocking her off her feet. She came down solidly on her right hip. Her nerves on edge anyway, she over-reacted. She slowly got to her feet, and began to lay into Paul.
“Darn it, you’re going to have to try a little harder to remember that I take the second hit. I’m really getting tired of being run over...” Paul stood silent, surprised at her vehemence. Tom came to his rescue.
“Hold on, Katryn. Didn’t you tell us to take the second hit if we had a good shot?”
“Yes. I DO want you to change the pace from time to time,” she argued, now turning on Tom. “But you need to let the setter know. All he had to do was call for it. If he had yelled ‘mine’, I’d have gotten out of the way.”
“He did call for it,” Tom said calmly. “But you didn’t.”
“He did,” Julie agreed, also surprised at how angry Katryn had gotten.
Stunned, and feeling about one inch tall, Katryn took a moment before turning back to Paul. Forcing herself to look him in the eye, she apologized.
“I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t hear you call. Besides, there’s no excuse for my getting upset, anyway. It’s just a game, and I wasn’t hurt.”
“Apology accepted,” Paul said, his right eyebrow slightly raised. “Are you sure you’re ok? You landed pretty hard.”
“I’m fine. Sorry I came unglued.” She got back into position and finished the practice favoring her right leg slightly. She knew there would be a nice sized bruise in the morning, but she would not have owned up to anyone how much it hurt. She didn’t fool Paul, or Tom, though. They were both aware it must hurt a lot if Katryn was favoring her leg even a little.
After practice they again met at Denny’s. Katryn made sure she sat nowhere near Paul. She took time to congratulate her team on how quickly they had made the change-over to two setters, and reminded them there would be a real trial by fire on Thursday. Then she put on her best smile and kept the team amused with jokes and puns. It worked some. She did not have time to think about Paul.
Katryn got up to leave earlier than usual, and when Tom offered to walk her to her car, she declined.
“Oh, you stay a while. You don’t have to get up that early. If I hadn’t promised my sitter I’d be back early tonight, I’d stay myself. See you all Thursday.” And she headed out before Tom could answer. Tom followed her to the door, however. He watched until she got in her car and drove away before he went back to the table. Seeing the questioning look on Paul’s face, Tom decided they would have to talk soon.
Audrey was surprised to see Katryn back so early, but she was glad to be going home.
“I have a test in Algebra tomorrow. The boys are asleep already, but I’ll study better at my house.”
Katryn showered and went to bed. If she forgot, even for a minute, how stupid she had acted at practice, it only took rolling onto her right side to remind her.
Though she did not wake up rested Tuesday morning, she also had no recollection of any disturbing dreams. She thanked the fates for being so kind, and made her way downstairs.
She was able to get all her paperwork done before Dottie showed up at 12:20. She was just about out the door, headed for lunch, when Paul stopped her.
“Join me for lunch?” he asked.
“I’d rather not,” Katryn answered honestly.
“I’d like to talk to you,” he told her and he took her hand, not giving her much of a choice.
“I suppose we should talk,” Katryn decided. “And the sooner the better.” Paul didn’t miss the determination in her voice. She allowed Paul to lead her to Clinkerdagger’s, where she ordered Halibut, though she doubted she would be able to eat much of it. When the salads were served, Katryn started to speak. Paul cut her off, though.
“I’ve a feeling I’m not going to like our little talk much. Could we enjoy our meal, pretend to be friends, and then have our discussion over coffee?” Katryn readily agreed. She knew they needed to talk. She was in no hurry to start, though.
Instead, Paul asked her about herself. Deciding it was a safe subject; Katryn found herself telling him all about her family, and her life, in Pennsylvania.
Paul could tell by the easy way she talked of her past, that she must have had a happy childhood. She told him she was the fourth child, the first girl, in a family already peopled by three raucous, somewhat wild, boys. She grew up in the country on a farm quite a ways from the nearest neighbor.
Because her brothers were the only playmates around, she grew up being quite a Tom-boy. There was only six years separating the first four children. Katryn’s brothers always teased her about being the ‘runt’.
Though her mother had looked forward to a little girl to dress up and curl her hair, Katryn admitted to Paul that she would have none of it. She played all the sports, especially tackle football, with her three older brothers almost from the time she could walk.
Once her father had told her she had actually been playing football since before she walked. He tried to convince her that her brothers had used her for the football. Horrified, her mother had quickly assured Katryn that that was not true.
Because she was the youngest of the four, and a girl to boot, Katryn explained, she had had to play her hardest to be accepted. She hated being called the RUNT, and when she was ten, she finally won her brothers’ respect. Katryn smiled proudly, recounting the story for Paul
There was an old chestnut tree in the back yard, and she and her brothers had all grown up playing in it. There were three levels of tree houses and they continually tried to climb higher and higher in the tree. The top few branches were too thin and weak to support her brothers’ weights, so not one of the Curran’s had actually made it to the very top.
She had been quite a small child, she told Paul, especially compared to her big-boned, muscular brothers. On her tenth birthday, Katryn was being teased unmercifully by her older brothers. Though they now had a three year old brother and a one year old sister, they persisted in calling Katryn the runt. Katryn had been sure that when she turned ten, hit the double digits as her brothers called it, she would no longer be called ‘runt’.
Her mother had made a beautiful cake and had decorated it with pink and blue flowers, green leaves, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATRYN in big letters. Her oldest brother, Jim got a hold of the decorating tube, and when she saw the cake, Katryn burst into tears. Jim had scraped off most of her name and had written, in an ugly scrawl, RUNT.
Katryn smiled shyly, a little embarrassed when she admitted she ran out of the house and started up the tree. Her family followed her into the back yard and stood transfixed watching her climb higher and higher into the chestnut tree.
Crying ‘I’m NOT a runt, not anymore’, she climbed higher and high
er still. Her mother pleaded with her father to get her down, knowing full well Katryn was up beyond where anyone could get her. They all just watched. Katryn figured her brother Jim would be the most worried. Everyone, including his dad, knew what he had done. No-one made a sound while she slowly started up the skinnier branches at the top.
Katryn admitted to Paul she had been a little scared when the tree swayed slightly and she heard her mother scream. Still, she knew it was something she just had to do, so she slowly reached up over her head, stretched a tiny bit farther, and finally grasped the top of the tree in her hand. Paul could see the triumph in her face as she re-lived the moment.
The three older boys shouted and congratulated their sister, but she would not move from her precarious perch. Her mother begged, her father demanded, but she would not move.
“Were you scared?” Paul interrupted her story.
“I was a little, but that wasn’t why I wouldn’t come down.” She admitted sheepishly. “I wanted Jim to say ...”
“That you weren’t a runt anymore.” Paul finished for her, smiling. When Katryn nodded, he asked. “Did he?”
“Oh, yes! I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed anything more than hearing Jim finally agree I wasn’t a runt. Dad made him promise never to call me runt again. He never did. None of them ever did again.”
Paul could see how proud she must have been. Her face was flushed, her smile was back, and she held her head high. He could almost see her up in that tree, hanging on for all she was worth; almost hear Jim saying she was not a runt.
“Have you seen your family lately?” he asked, seeing a little sadness creep into her face.
“No. I took the boys back after their father died. I needed to go home and recharge my batteries. All of my family, except Jim, still lives in Pennsylvania. He had flown out here for the funeral, to help me through all the preparations. But I missed him when I was home. It just wasn’t the same without him.” She paused for a minute before she continued.
“In spite of the fact he’d been the roughest on me growing up, had pushed the hardest, called me runt the most, still, I was closest to him,” Katryn told Paul. She continued to reminisce, and she found herself telling Paul about her husband. Don was Jim’s best friend. A little chagrined, she admitted to Paul that at first she had been jealous of him. When Jim went to college she was about twelve. He started to spend a lot of time away from home, because he lived in a dorm on campus. When he did come home, he always brought Don.
Jim had met Don in college, they were roommates. Don’s parents had died a year earlier in a boating accident, so Don had no family to visit. Jim believed no-one should be without a family, so he offered Don his. Don was always around, then, and Jim was too busy for Katryn. She blamed Don.
She realized when she got older, that it was not Don, but growing up, that took Jim away. Still, she had resented Don for years. After college, Jim moved to a small town about thirty miles away, and Katryn saw even less of him. She saw almost nothing of Don, after that.
Katryn was a senior in high school when Jim got married. Don, of course, was his best man. Katryn had not seen him in a couple years, and when they met at the rehearsal dinner, she saw he was very surprised to see she had grown up.
They started dating after that, and Katryn married Don shortly after her twentieth birthday. Don’s company transferred him to Spokane, and they left Pennsylvania after their honeymoon, vowing to visit often.
Three years later, Ryan and Timmy were born. Katryn still had not been able to go back to visit. While her mother had come out to help her with the twins, Katryn and Don had never gotten to see the rest of her family. Don died when the boys were about six months old, Katryn told Paul, so she had raised the boys by herself since then.
“Why did you stay in Spokane?” Paul wondered aloud. “All your family was so far away.”
“When I went back after Don died, I thought of staying. But somehow Spokane had gotten under my skin. And even though I love them all, I couldn’t stay. Out here I was myself. Back there I felt almost smothered. It was almost as if I’d fought all my life to be independent, but if I moved back I was admitting defeat. No, I had to stay out here and make something of myself.”
“Any regrets?”
“Only that my sons have no idea how wonderful their grandparents are. And,” she added lightly, “that I can’t show them how tall that Chestnut Tree really is!”
Paul felt he could get lost in Katryn’s smile. She was so open, so unguarded. Her whole being seemed lit up. He knew it would end soon. Soon they would have to have the talk he would just bet he would rather not hear.
The waitress cleared their lunch trays and asked if they wanted dessert. They declined and she left to get the coffee pot. Katryn looked sheepishly at Paul.
“You know, I’ve been told a time or two I tend to ramble. I’m sorry if I bored you with my life story.”
“I enjoyed every word of it,” he told her honestly. “I only wish I could see that tree myself.” Her face reddened appreciably as she thanked him. The waitress appeared with their coffee. When their coffee was poured, Katryn waited calmly for Paul to start.
“Would you like to go first?” he asked. When she shook her head, he smiled. “Aren’t going to make this easy for me, are you?” She shook her head again, but this time she had to smile.
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