Secret (Peters Junction Series Book 1)

by Nicola Sinclair

Marie remained in her room for the rest of the afternoon, only coming out long enough to collect her school books off the table. Ben had his head in his hands, resting his elbows beside the books and was startled when she grabbed them, but when he jerked his head up to look at her, she ignored him and went back to her room.

  April looked on in concern. It wasn’t like Marie to act so childish. Despite her own determination to keep Marie as young and carefree as possible, she wasn’t completely oblivious to the fact that compared to other girls her age, Marie usually acted with a lot more maturity than this.

  Ben resigned himself to booking a flight on the internet while April and Lachlan began preparing dinner. When April glanced at Marie’s closed door for what seemed like the hundredth time, he finally pushed her towards it, insisting even he couldn’t stuff up sausages and mashed potatoes. Gratefully, she kissed him on the cheek and went to talk to her sister.

  Marie was lying on her stomach, leaning up on her elbows with her feet dangling above her knees. Between her elbows was an exercise book and spread around the top of her bed were a number of textbooks, open to various pages of use.

  “Go away,” Marie said when she noticed her. April leant against the closed bedroom door, her arms folded across her chest. “April just leave me alone.” She huffed and closed her books.

  “No,” April said quietly.

  “Lachlan’s out there waiting for you. Go spend time with him.”

  “Is that what’s bothering you?” April asked in surprise. “I thought you liked Lachlan.”

  “I do,” Marie sighed.

  “Would you prefer it if he wasn’t staying here? I could tell him to leave if him being here makes you uncomfortable.” Despite her reluctance to put the suggestion forward, April’s offer was genuine. Marie’s comfort was highest on her priority list.

  “No,” Marie practically shouted, then lowered her tone. “Don’t send him away.”

  “So what’s bothering you?” April persisted. Then when Marie still hesitated, she decided on a blunt approach. “Is it Ben?

  Marie looked across the bed, her jaw clenched firmly, but she nodded her head. She took a deep breath, then met April’s eyes in challenge. “I like him,” she stated resolutely. “And I think he likes me too. And I know you won’t approve, which is why Ben seems to think he has to leave tomorrow and I don’t want him to go.”

  April took a couple of steps closer but Marie turned towards the window, giving April her back. “Ben’s not leaving because I don’t approve.”

  “So I’m right? You don’t approve?” Marie shot back.

  “Marie, I never said I didn’t approve. It’s true this isn’t what I’d want for you, and I think you need to wait until you’ve finished school, but I’m not against the idea of you and Ben. I just wish the timing was different.”

  “Is that what you told him?” she persisted accusingly. “Is that why he’s leaving?”

  “The first I heard he was leaving was when you told me. I assumed he was staying until Lachlan left.”

  “Then why is he going?” Marie whimpered, her bottom lip trembling.

  Walking up to her, April slid her arm across her sister’s shoulders. “I think you need to ask Ben his reasons. I’ve made my opinions clear, but I really think the two of you need to talk about this before he leaves.” She squeezed Marie’s shoulders before letting her go and walking towards the door. Just before she left, she glanced back. “If you want to talk to him you’ll have to come out…I’m not sending him into your bedroom.”

  Marie grinned at her sister’s suggestion and April closed the door with a chuckle.

  Lachlan and Ben both glanced across to her from the kitchen bench where they were dishing up the food. “All good?” Lachlan asked in response to her laughter and Ben raised his eyebrows, silently echoing the question.

  “She’ll be out in a minute,” April smiled. “She’s just finishing her homework.”

  After a few moments Marie left the room and helped April set the table before they all sat down to dinner. The meal passed pleasantly and by the time they finished Marie had even begun to join in the conversation.

  “I’ll clean up,” Ben announced when they were done.

  “I’ll help,” Marie added immediately.

  Lachlan visibly hesitated but April just shook her head slightly. “Come on,” she said to Lachlan, wiggling her eyebrows mockingly. “I’ll show you how to build a fire.”

  “Are you sure that’s wise? Leaving them alone together,” Lachlan asked when they were out of earshot and loading the wood burner.

  “They need to talk.”

  “It must be hard for you.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Letting her grow up. Especially after everything you two have been through.”

  April breathed in deeply, then sighed out her frustration. “Seeing her upset today and understanding her reasons for it made me realise that I need to stop being her mum and go back to just being her sister. I always knew I would have to do it at some point, but it’s harder than I thought it would be.”

  Lachlan pulled her into his arms and tightened his grip around her waist. “I’ll be here when it gets tough.” His sincerity tugged at her conscience. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t hold him to such a promise. Not when he didn’t know what she’d done. She couldn’t go on like this. Her nerves were frayed, her emotions were shot and she was terrified that the longer she was with him, the harder it would be to let him walk away when he found out the truth.

  It suddenly occurred to her that perhaps he meant every word of his promise. What if he found out her secret and decided to stay? If it ever got out, it would ruin him. She couldn’t put him in that position, she couldn’t let him sacrifice himself for her.

  Shoving her concerns out of her mind, she pulled out of his embrace. “Come on. Let’s get this fire going, I’m freezing.”

  A few minutes later the fire was roaring and they were sitting on the couch staring into the flames.

  “So I was thinking,” Lachlan cleared his throat which April had come to realise meant he was nervous or unsure of himself. “I have to go to New Zealand at the end of August for a twelve-week shoot near Queenstown and I thought that maybe you and Marie would like to come over for a week during the next school holidays.”

  She stiffened beside him. “Lachlan I can’t—”

  “Hear me out before you say no,” he interrupted, turning to face her. “I’ve thought this through carefully. While I’m filming, you and Marie can explore, ski or do whatever you want and when I’m through for the day we can relax in our hotel room like we did in Sydney. I don’t want to be apart from you for three months and this way I’ll have something to look forward to in the middle.” His voice was anxious, his eyes hopeful and she wished she could agree, but it was impossible.

  “I can’t,” she groaned and pulled away from him.

  “Why not? No one will know you’re with me and we don’t have to go out in public the entire time you’re there.”

  “Marie and I don’t have passports,” April protested, trying to come up with any excuse she could clench her fingers around but as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew they were a mistake.

  “April, the next school holidays are in October,” Lachlan said calmly, although a note of frustration was evident in his tone. “You can get a passport in less than a week.”

  “We can’t get passports,” she insisted angrily, keeping her voice down so Marie and Ben wouldn’t know they were arguing. Why did it always have to come to this? Why could he never just accept it when she refused him?

  “God, I’m getting sick of this,” he muttered.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me.” He raised his voice, clearly not caring about Ben and Marie hearing them. “Why can’t you just tell me what the hell is going on? I still haven’t got the full story from you, have I?” He sucked in a deep breath and lowered his voice, but his anger
only increased. “You say you love me but you still don’t trust me. Do you? So tell me April, why can’t you get a passport? Why can’t Marie get a passport?”

  “Because I kidnapped her!” April shouted. Behind her the shattering of crockery caused her to spin around and she watched all the blood drain out of Marie’s face as her sister stared at the mess at her feet. Ben quickly put down the two cups he was carrying and steadied Marie with his hands.

  “Marie!” April shot out of her chair and ran to her sister.

  “But I remember the funeral…” Marie said in confusion.

  “No, I didn’t take you from Mum and Dad.” April grabbed her hands and gripped them hard. “It was the Heffernan’s, our foster parents. I took you away from them.”

  “Oh,” Marie said, her composure rapidly returning. “That’s okay then. They were horrible.”

  April couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped her at her sister’s approval. “No, it’s not okay Marie,” she said gently. “Technically I kidnapped you from the Queensland State Government, who are your legal guardians. When they catch up to me, it’s going to be very, very serious.”

  “But you’ve looked after me, you’ve given up your life to look after me.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I still broke the law.” Suddenly she felt drained and her legs began to tremble violently. She turned to the nearest chair but Lachlan was standing directly behind her and she stumbled into him. Without a word, he guided her back to the couch and sat beside her. His face was grim, his jaw clenched and a deep crease cut through his brow.

  “Tell me how it happened,” he said gruffly without looking at her. “I need to understand.”

  “What’s there to understand?” She lashed out, knowing her reasons wouldn’t matter. She was a fugitive. He couldn’t possibly want to stay with her, but god forbid he did because it could only end badly for him. As soon as this got out, he’d be buried under mountains of negative press. It could ruin his career. “You need to leave,” she continued angrily. “I never wanted you to be a part of this.”

  “No,” he said firmly.

  “LEAVE,” she yelled as she stood up and pointed towards the door.

  “Not this time, April,” he said quietly, looking up at her, “I’m not walking away again.” Reaching out, he grabbed hold of her hand and gently tugged her back to the couch

  Her face crumpled as she sat beside him and he folded her into his embrace. “You need to go,” she sobbed into his chest but all the anger had left her. “I don’t want you involved in this.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered, gently stroking his hand up and down her spine.

  Quietly Marie came to sit on her other side and reached out to grab hold of her hand. “Tell us what happened, April,” she said quietly.

  April shuddered as she tried to compose herself. Marie’s grip on her hand tightened. “After Mum and Dad… after the murders, their wills were read.” April laughed dryly. “The only living grandparent we had was Dad’s father who lived in a high care facility and was suffering from dementia. Neither of our parents had siblings, so they’d named Barry, Dads best friend since primary school, to be our guardian.” Both Lachlan and Marie sucked in their breath. “Obviously the courts weren’t about to give him custody—”

  “Why not?” Ben asked, clearly trying to grasp the situation.

  “Because Barry murdered their parents,” Lachlan answered for her and she was grateful not to have to say it herself.

  “Ah.” Was all Ben said as he sank into a chair.

  “We were put into foster care,” April continued, slowly sitting up and facing Marie. “They were starving you…us.”

  “The Heffernan’s?” Lachlan asked and she nodded. She could feel his anger rising as his body tensed, but all he did was pull her back against his chest, holding her possessively with his arm across her stomach.

  “The money they were given to care for us was used instead to buy new furniture and to go out all the time. They didn’t care, they knew they had a ready-made babysitter in me and that I would never do anything to hurt you.” Another deep breath and April summoned the courage to carry on. “I used all my savings to buy food for us and when I complained to the Department for Children about our treatment, they sent out an inspector but the Heffernan’s were told beforehand and they had time to stock the pantry. Then they forced you to say how well they were looking after us—”

  “I remember,” Marie cut in. “They said if I didn’t tell the lady what they wanted me to say, they would tell her you were being naughty and that you needed to be sent away. I didn’t want you to go.”

  April smiled tightly. “The lady from the department didn’t see a problem with our situation and refused to listen to my protests. Then after she left, the Heffernan’s told me that the money they were getting from the government wasn’t enough and I would need to get a job or there wouldn’t be any food or clothes for either of us anymore.

  “I was desperate. I found a legal aid lawyer to see how I could go about getting custody of you, but he told me that at sixteen I could have a baby and be allowed sole custody of the newborn, but there was no possible way any court would grant custody of a minor to a sixteen-year-old sibling.

  “Then I found Karen’s letter saying my book was accepted for publication and I knew if I told the Heffernan’s, they would take all the money and leave nothing for either of us. So I arranged for my payments to go into a new bank account under the name A.D. Pope and when the first check cleared, I packed our few belongings, withdrew a large sum from my advance, and bought us bus tickets to the furthest destination leaving that day.” A slight smile crossed her face for the first time, and her eyes met Marie’s.

  “We were meant to continue on to Adelaide, but as we drove into Peters Junction you got so excited by the little train on the side of the road. Then when we stopped to let someone off, we saw the statue of the dog on the main street and for the first time in weeks, you were smiling and I just decided to get off and stay. We’ve been here ever since.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Marie asked and squeezed April’s fingers in gentle rebuke. Ben had come over to kneel on the floor beside Marie and held her other hand. He remained silent, passively offering comfort and causing an overwhelming sense of gratitude to rise up in April. Marie was going to need all the friends she could get.

  “At first I didn’t tell you because you were so young and I was afraid you might accidently let something slip at school, but then it just got harder and harder to admit the truth.” She paused and offered her sister a sad smile. “I never got to finish school. At sixteen I had to give up everything and I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want you to have to worry about all this or to be afraid that at any moment, it could all be taken away.”

  “You mean the way you’ve been afraid for the last ten years.” Lachlan’s voice rumbled through her chest when he spoke.

  “Yes,” she whispered, tears shining in her eyes again. He tightened his hold around her waist and dropped a kiss on top of her head.

  They lapsed into silence for a while until Ben finally spoke. “So what happens now?”

  “I can’t ask any of you to be a part of this,” April said. “It was always my intention to turn myself in after Marie graduated, but now that you all know, I can’t let you keep this secret for me.”

  All three of them began to protest before she’d even finished speaking.

  “No,” Lachlan said emphatically, pushing her away from him so he could face her.

  “I’m happy to keep it secret,” Ben stated.

  “April, don’t even think about it,” Marie yelled.

  “I can’t risk any of you getting in trouble because of me!” Unable to sit still any longer, April stood up and stalked out of the room. Through the doorway to the kitchen, she noticed the coffee and shattered crockery mess still on the floor and grabbed a tea towel to clean it up. Without a word Marie came over and helped her. When th
ey finally had the mess clean and Ben had emptied the two cups he’d put aside before, April heard him talking quietly to Marie.

  “Let’s go for a drive and give them a chance to talk.”

  She saw Lachlan standing in the now-cleared doorway, a pained expression on his face.

  “Just go,” April said when Marie turned to ask her permission. Not waiting for her to change her mind, they quickly left April alone with Lachlan.

  Minutes passed as April stared at Lachlan, unsure of where they stood with each other. She knew it would be best for him if he left now and never looked back, but she hoped with every cell in her body he wouldn’t do that. She couldn’t bear to lose him now.

  Finally, he broke the silence. “Why didn’t you tell me this before… when you told me about your parents?” His voice was strained, as if he was trying to force the words out.

  Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. “At first I thought you’d leave,” she whispered and then opened her eyes to look at him. “Then I was afraid you’d stay.”

  “Of course I’m going to stay,” he shouted, the anguish in his voice tearing her chest apart. He was beside her in two strides, one arm sliding around her back, the other cupping her cheek. “I love you. And I’m damn tired of having to convince you of that.” Then he kissed her, his lips pushing firmly into hers, forcing her to accept him, as if he was still trying to prove himself. She was with him, returning his pressure, increasing it. She opened her mouth and he immediately took advantage, thrusting his tongue in, exploring, claiming, owning her with every stroke and caress. He broke away, breathing hard, and dropped his forehead against hers.

  “I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” he whispered. “Please tell me you don’t have any more secrets to keep us apart.”

  “No more secrets,” she whispered back with a slight shake of her head. “But Lachlan, I can’t let you be involved in this. I need to turn myself in.”

  “No,” he gritted his teeth. “I won’t let you. We can keep us a secret. I won’t make any more suggestions that could get you caught. I promise.”

  “Is that really how you want to live your life? Hiding in shadows and secrecy? Because I’ve done it for the past decade and believe me, it’s hell! I don’t want to do it anymore. If you and I are ever going to have a chance at being together, it can’t be like this. Don’t you see? It’s not real if we have to hide.” The more she spoke, the more April realised she was tired of running and if she and Lachlan were ever going to have a future together, it couldn’t be with this hanging over their heads.

  He pulled away abruptly and stepped back, putting distance between them. “April, an hour ago your plan was to turn yourself in after Marie graduated. What’s changed?”

  “Everything’s changed!” she said loudly. “An hour ago you weren’t an accessory after the fact to kidnapping, and if I don’t turn myself in you will be. Even if you aren’t charged, the media will have a field day and your career will suffer.

  “I don’t care about any of that.”

  “Well, I do! I don’t want you to end up resenting me or wishing you’d never met me. I love you.”

  Instantly his arms were back around her and he dragged her into his chest. “That’s the first time you’ve said it without me demanding it of you.” His hoarse whisper scraped her cheek.

  “It’s true. I do love you, which is why I have to do this.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “What about Marie. She’s still at school, she needs you.”

  “Lachlan,” she said patiently. “Practically since the day we met, you’ve been reminding me that she’s not a little kid and in a few days she’ll be seventeen. I’ve already put aside enough money for her to live comfortably for a very long time, and no matter what, I’ll always be there for her. But she doesn’t actually need me around anymore. She’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself.”

  “I wish I’d never opened my big mouth!” he muttered. Pulling out one of the dining chairs he flopped into it, dropping his head into his hands. “Is there anything I can say that will make you change your mind?” he asked desperately, looking up at her.

  “I need to do this for us,” April said, sitting in a chair beside him.

  He jerked back. “Don’t say that,” he said savagely. “Don’t put this on me.”

  April reached out and grasped hold of his hands and despite his rage, he gripped her fingers as if he was afraid to let her go. “Whether I do this now, or when Marie graduates, the result is the same. At some point I’m still going to turn myself in. The longer I wait, the longer our relationship will hang in limbo and the longer both of us will have to live in fear of discovery. I don’t need to put my life on hold for Marie anymore. I can finally start living, and I don’t want to wait any longer than I have to for it.”

  Finally, her words seemed to sink in because his shoulders slumped in resignation. “Okay,” he whispered and pulled her into his lap. “But not yet. Wait till Monday. When I’m in Adelaide tomorrow, I’ll look for a defence lawyer and we’ll go over our options then.”

  She nodded her agreement easily. By Monday, Marie would be on school holidays for three weeks, hopefully giving her time to adjust to the situation so her schoolwork wouldn’t suffer too much from the distraction. It also gave her and Lachlan a few more days together before her fate became uncertain.

  “I love you,” she whispered as she moved in to kiss him.

  “I’m never going to tire of hearing you say that,” he replied when she pulled away. Then he tucked his head into her neck, resting his cheek on her shoulder and holding her on his lap. Dropping her head on top of his so her cheek was pressed into his forehead, they sat together, neither speaking, both content to just breathe the same air and draw comfort from each other.

  They were still sitting there when Ben and Marie returned and just by looking at them, April knew their relationship had changed. April sighed her resignation and pretended not to notice. “Marie sit down, I need to talk to you.” April moved off Lachlan’s lap and onto the chair beside him and Marie took the seat opposite. Ben hovered in the background, unsure of his welcome until April smiled at him and gestured to the chair beside Marie. He nodded his thanks and sat down.

  Together, Lachlan and April informed them of the plan for April to turn herself in on Monday, after she’d engaged the services of a lawyer. Predictably Marie wasn’t happy, but she listened to all the arguments April had already given Lachlan and eventually accepted her choice just as he had.

  Later, in the darkness of their room, after everyone had gone to bed, April and Lachlan came together for the first time without secrets between them. Their lovemaking was slow and relaxed and as Lachlan worshipped her body and brought her to climax, April felt not just a release of her body, but a release of her heart as well.