by A M Russell
‘Yes. Go on.’ Jared had never spoken of his past to me.
‘She was so beautiful. So carefree. That’s what I see. That’s what I want….’
‘What?’
‘Don’t you see? I can’t. I mustn’t…. It’s not right.’ He turned his face from me then.
‘I don’t understand Jared. Please. I’m completely confused....’
He stared past me with such anguish that I could hardly bear to look. I turned. Marcia slept with her head resting on her left arm. Her right hand was tucked under her left cheek and her knees were drawn up so she was curled in the folded rugs like a cat. In sleep her face was filled with that same ethereal stillness I had seen back at the stone bridge with Jared. I think I began to understand then how deep the fracture lines spread. Such a small thing; such a simple thing. We could be undone by one false move. It was like a puzzle that you could only complete in one way. We had survived all the hazards so far. Perhaps in this version of reality Jared had got further than he had ever done.
‘Are we near the thing that causes all this?’ I asked him.
‘Yes.’ He turned away from Marcia and looked at me steadily. ‘There is an epicentre to the effect. You may have felt some of it already. The time seems to stretch out longer and longer. Yet think about what we’ve done today and the day was still the normal length.’
‘What about the woman they were taking us to see?’
‘I doubt we’ll see her,’ Jared said, ‘In this version she may not be here. Or she may be inaccessible to us.’
‘Who is she?’
‘Maybe one of the tribespeople. Maybe not. I met her once before. She told me that I didn’t really need her help. I just needed to trust my instincts.’
‘But what is she?’
‘I our world… the normal one that is; she would be called a seer. Or perhaps, in more suspicious times a witch.’
‘Oh.’
‘Don’t trouble yourself. The truth is I remember more the closer I get. I might have been here before. But I won’t know until we go a bit further.’
‘You said you remember more than the others.’
‘Not more. It’s just different that’s all. I see the past more clearly; opportunities missed; things I could have done but didn’t.’
‘And what else?’
‘The University funders want to get their mitts on the very essence of this power. The men we saw may have some shielding from the time effects. The reason that they didn’t see us may be simpler than we supposed. I remember some of the people at Base having inoculations. I thought it was odd. But now it makes sense. Adam was right about one thing.’
‘That day; when he had words with Hanson?’’
‘Yes. There are others out here. Maybe George will know what is going on with them but can’t tell us. Or…’ here he seemed to have an idea; ‘He did tell us. But we don’t remember.’
‘But I thought you did remember?’
‘A lot of things. But like I said I need to be closer to the source of the anomaly for it to really kick in. By then it’s too late. The ultimate frustration: knowing all things, that if you knew them earlier would help you counter people who are necessarily one step ahead.’
‘Maybe I can help?’ I said. Something felt as if it was working, working in the under soil of my mind.
‘What do you suggest?’ said Jared, ‘At this point I’m open to any suggestion from a friendly person.’
‘Umm… Well. We don’t know everything, right? But we do know what we don’t know.’
Jared frowned at looked at me in what seemed a resigned kind of way. I tried again:
‘We can’t know everything. But there are a few clues we do have to go on.’
‘Like what?’
‘Well the tags. The err… one we found in the passage and the blank one we found in the first cave.’
‘What about them?’
‘Maybe we left them here. They are electronic. And more to the point they are programmed with information. Is it just possible that some one…. As in one of the previous expeditions; left them here for us to find?’
Jared looked startled as if he had been woken up: ‘Quick. Get the blank tag.’
‘Who has it?’ I asked.
‘It’s in the bigger of those two packs.’
‘You have the other one?’ I asked
‘The “Marcia” Tag? Yes I’ve got it; Oliver made sure of that…’ He pulled it out from his collar reluctantly.
‘Let’s just concentrate on the blank one.’ I said ‘It isn’t obviously belonging to anyone from this party. So maybe we were supposed to find it.’
‘Yes?’
‘Find it and use it.’
‘But how?’
‘You said that there is a base override pass code that unlocks all of them.’
‘Yes,’ said Jared, ‘But I can’t know what that is. I mean for security they change it daily. There’s no way.’
‘So what then?’
Jared drew has hand over his face; ‘I don’t know.’ His tone was despairing.
We stared at the fire then. I chewed on my sorrow over Janey. Perhaps Jared dreamed of the real Marcia. The one who would only exist if this was put an end to. If all the possible worlds that we lived through would stop and the spell would be broken. The Marcia I knew was only one version. I understood now. By saving the situation; Jared might destroy his own hope. Out there in the real world they had only met once. With a start of realisation I saw that Janey and I had never really met at all. She was a dream of a dream. If she was a scientist she might not be interested in this mad cap scheme. She may never find her way to me. For a while I was filled with such self-pity that it eclipsed all else. I must have slept then, because the next thing I knew was the taste of dust and the smell of ashes. The cavern was cool and dim, but illuminated to one side with what appeared to be a couple of patches of daylight. Cool early morning sort of light. I sat up slowly and licked my lips.
Marcia stood near one of the stone doorways silhouetted by the light. ‘Come and see!’ she called to the rest of us.
‘What is it?’ Oliver burbled as he stood up like a big crumpled Lion.
‘Just come and see!’ said Marcia. She disappeared through the aperture. We all followed her, shaking off the deepest sleep.
We found ourselves in another cavern that opened out down the whole of one side. It had just a small two foot lip to stop you from falling over the edge into what I took for a moment to be undulating glass. Brilliant daylight shone through the wobbly slightly shifting shape of flowing water. We seemed to be just behind part of the waterfall. It was without foam and allowed through distorted shapes and colours. It was rather like that that special glass that you find in some bathroom windows. But this was brighter… somehow glassier. And it undulated slowly. The water created the appearance of a solid object if it hadn’t been for this slight movement.
‘Isn’t it wonderful?’ Marcia was rapt with fascination, and reached out her hand. The water foamed and splashed over her arm onto the floor. She pulled her hand back.
‘It’s amazing.’ she said, ‘And look at that!’
We all tried to make out what Marcia was staring at. Through this “window” there was movement. There were brightly coloured dots that stood out against a duller, variegated background. We all went and put our hands through the flowing water. Marcia got a cloth and splashed water on her face. Jared had his folding cups out.
‘We made it this far.’ He said as he filled them and passed one to each of us.
‘A bit early for it don’t you think?’ grinned Oliver.
Jared laughed, ‘Not quite the man I thought you were Reece!’
‘Don’t call me that, you old goat!’
‘Ok boys! What shall we drink to?’ Marcia held up her cup.
‘To Old Friends.’ said Jared.
‘To Beer and Beautiful Women.’ said Oliver.
‘I think to Inspiration and Adventure.’ said Marcia.<
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‘What about Davey?’ said Oliver.
Jared stared at me intently. I just shrugged. ‘To all the things I can’t remember right now. But will do when I’ve had a proper drink.’
‘More Tequila?’ asked Oliver.
‘Not really. I had one awful headache the next morning.’
‘You did?’ said Jared. The other two looked at him and he broke my gaze and turned back to the inner cave. ‘The old guy will be back soon. Perhaps we better eat something.’
‘Yes. Yes of course.’ said Marcia. She sounded disappointed.
A little while later Jared was tightening all the pack straps. He seemed to be checking them rather too carefully. I was helping Oliver with the big pack he carried. We all made sure the sheath knives we all carried were in good order, and the leather casing had dried sufficiently to strap back on.
'Let me see!' said Marcia to Jared.
'I'm fine' said Jared shortly. He pulled away from her and tucked the end of the cotton bandage back in.
'It was really bad scrape you got there; I should check your hands.' Marcia kept her tone light and level. I'd seen this work on the others, but Jared seemed to be sliding into one of those black moods again.
'I'll look at the chief.' said Oliver. He went over and sat Jared down on the edge of the dais by clamping on hand on his shoulder and leaning a tiny amount. Jared submitted without a murmur. Marcia spun on her heel and went back through one of the arches to the glass fountain room. I saw Jared staring in a cold hard way, and I felt he was being a bit too cruel. After last night the reasons for keeping Marcia at arm’s length had become far too mixed up in a sense of terror about the whole thing we might be facing here. I left them and went to Marcia.
'Hi Davey' she said without turning.
'How did you...?'
'I can see your reflection. Is he alright?'
'Huh? Yes. I guess so. How about you?'
She turned to face me. 'Heelio said we can be near the prison caves by sundown.'
'What? Who..?' I clearly wasn't up to speed.
'You should know who got the better of you.' Marcia had hands on hips now. A posture she rarely adopted, that was clearly reserved for addressing small children and prats like me.
'I'm sorry.... Marcia, I want to make sure you and... Well; that you both...'
'Oh stop! Dear me Davey; we all know the rules of the game. Let's not be kidding one another. It's just a short step from allowing those feelings free reign, to making a serious professional error. I gave my deputy command to Jared not because of any personal feelings about him, but because I'm not the one able to see this through all the way to the end. You really need to pay more attention. I won't last long. I never have. I mean.... I probably won't live. It could be my last dawn.'
Her words chilled me so much that despite the pleasant temperature I shivered involuntarily.
'That thing you once said about Hanson?' I asked.
'What about it?' she folded her arms now. Not very helpful. But I felt certain now was the time to say it.
'You said that he'd be the death of you; didn't you? I mean, that wasn't actually a metaphor was it?'
'It's not symbolic; if that is what you are trying to say.' she sat down then rather abruptly on one of a small circle of mushroom-like rocks a few feet away. I followed her and choose a mushroom of my own.
'Davey. Nothing is ever simple. But today is probably my last day. It will be hardest on Jared because he choose me for this group. He will blame himself. The difference this time is that you are here,' she froze then her jaw moving as if to choke something back. The dark curls of her hair fell across her face. I felt as if I was peeking into something terrible. The knowing of what will be, also I saw that Marcia was a beautiful woman. She had done me the honour of becoming my friend and allowing me to be hers.
'I don't think it has to be like that!' I said trying to think really fast, 'I mean aren't I changing it, simply by being here? I'm the new boy, remember.'
'I like you Davey. Perhaps you are changing it. But some things run too deep to be changed. Delayed; put off to another day, but not bent from a greater will.'
'Marcia, I....'
There wasn't any sound from the other room, so I left my words there as Marcia's curls obscured her face again. I went and checked my pack. Oliver and Jared stood ready. I shouldered my burden and adjusted the fastenings just as Marcia came back through. She gave no sign of any of the things that had been said. Jared seemed quietly neutral and subdued. Oliver getting a person to sit down was enough to subdue anyone. Just as I was wondering if I should fill the gap with a few pointless phrases the old man returned.
'The day is well' The Old Tribesman said. This was the one who I now knew to be "Heelio". I wondered if I should call him "Mister". What was the proper form of address? He led us out: along narrow corridors then into a wide space that had no roof.
Early morning light fell upon this slipway that led upwards out of the underground city. With hands shielding our eyes we walked into the light. Not such a morning had I ever seen! The first morning of the world I imagined could not be so sweet. And as we walked out onto the level we saw the bubbling water down and to our right. A freshness in the air, and some echoing of noise told us we were above the place where the waterfall plunged down into the earth's mouth. I could barely see with the sun in my eyes. But now those brightly coloured dots were people. The land was rich with forests and fields and rivers. I saw into this distance, walking from out of the light. Women and children. And to our left Men and Women came carrying their hunting successes across their backs on shoulder straps. On a sandy area we were made to sit and be fed a breakfast that quite wiped out the memory of our pack rations. Fruits we recognised: pomegranates, peaches, and apples so sweet and juicy they seemed like something else; and others that were of shapes and colours and fragrances that shot through the senses like rainbows and gold. As the water roared at a distance we smelled meat cooking. Heelio told us more as the spit roasted meat was turned and basted with berry juice; and above us fluffy clouds ambled across a warm violet sky.
'It was,' he said, 'the way of things here that the seasons live in different time places; yet in the same world place.'
'But what of the Icy places we came from?' asked Jared.
'Ah!!' said Heelio, the Old Tribesman, 'the others came from there too I think?'
'You mean our friends?' asked Jared
'Yes. We watched the others.... We do not have a word for what they are; but they came through the tunnels six turns of the moon past.'
'Six Months!' Jared was looking more perplexed than surprised.
'Tell us what they look like.' said Oliver being as ever practical about the matter.
'I'll ask my son Andre.' he then called the youngest man who had accompanied us across the stone bridge. The boy came from carefully watching the meat and another took his place.
'My Father, your will?'
‘You must tell the Chief of this Tribe the things you saw on the day the apples first blossomed.’
‘My Father; Your will is my Pleasure.’ Here the young boy turned to Jared, who seemed momentarily embarrassed to be referred to as the “Chief” of us lot. He pointed over to the north (as I took my estimation by the sun’s course) and said: ‘I bow to you Chief of your Tribe. So my words now belong to you. I will tell you what I saw that day…. I was a long day (as it had become in the spring of our world) and we were ranging far to seek out the animals we will later hunt. So it was that my group had rested and I climbed to the ridge above. It was not far, but they stayed in the shade. The heat of the day had…., touched their heads.’ here he grinned at us; ‘I looked out looked for the trail of the smaller cattle that are in the forests; when to my surprise I saw Men. Not of Us. They were not of you either. They dressed in robes that came to their knees and girdles hung with metal pieces like this.’ Andre struck a pose to show us where the metal things were. ‘They were walking through the forest quickly and ca
relessly, they made much noise and the birds sprang out of the trees as they approached. My friend also climbed to the top of the bank just behind me and he can speak my words also with truth. He saw the Men. There were many. Too big for a hunting party. Besides, they did not have the skill to step lightly. In truth we did no good hunts that day. The men scared away all the best hoofs. We watched them for some time. And the sun walked a quarter of the way across the sky. They have caves that are easy to find. But they did not find us. We set a warning mark so none would stray into their place my mistake. But it is far. Far enough for the small ones not to reach it during the second walk of the sun. But for a Man or a Strong Woman there would be time.’
After this Andre went back to tending his roasting spit. The daily feast would soon begin. Our host explained that the “First walk of the Sun” was for this purpose and for families to be together. As the day warmed people rested a while. After this the Hunters went out. Other work such as weaving and rope making and all other things of like nature took place in the cooler caverns near the surface. In the afternoon “the second walk of the Sun” the younger children and the adults who stay nearer the homes most of the time, then went out to collect fruits and roots and herbs and all manner of other things. Heelio told us that the ones who ranged the caves underground did so ever month or so; mainly to collect minerals which they had various uses for. There was a salt deposit from which they collected too. Something like drying and preserving of the meat seemed to occur from what he said to us, but I didn’t see any of this myself.
Jared gathered our little team together in a circle as the people went over to examine the progress of the cooking.
‘We will have to go this afternoon.’ said Jared, ‘We know that they may still be there, but not for long. Andre will be our guide, along with his other young companions.’
‘Isn’t this just what they would expect?’ said Oliver.
‘We are really getting out of options though.’ said Marcia, ‘We came here to find the rest of our Lot, and that’s what we need to stick to.’