“I want you not to run away from me…” he hesitated, but with a look of determination, finished with “when I tell you how much I love you.”
I have to admit, I freaked out a little. My breath caught in my throat, my heart beat almost painfully in my chest, and I instinctively tugged my hand back as I immediately wanted to go and lock myself away somewhere to process. Darcy didn’t let go of my hand, though, and I looked down at his larger hand holding onto mine for dear life. In light of my emotional backslide a few weeks ago and my distance today, I decided that the very least I could do was to process here, with him.
I took a deep breath and tried to calm down; his grip on me loosened at this show of acceptance and I began to think of all the things I never allowed myself to linger on before now. I thought about how I felt when we were together; how I thought of him when we were apart; how even when I was incredibly frustrated with him, or I had done something to piss him off, our first instinct was to work it out rather than remove ourselves from one another’s presence. I also couldn’t help but remember how devastated but ultimately willing I was to raise a child with him, and how supportive he had been of me. Who else in my life had ever come even close to how much I respected and admired him?
“My parents barely speak to each other,” I was suddenly telling him.
Darcy had been staring at me unblinkingly throughout my little freak-out, and he didn’t look any less tense now, though his interest was clearly piqued. The only other time I had mentioned my parents and their strange relationship was when I had accidently gotten pregnant for those brief few weeks.
“They might still love each other in their own way, but it was like growing up with two strangers in the house. I never want to be with someone where we’d lock ourselves away rather than stay and fight.”
“We are very good at fighting,” he said hesitantly.
“Yes.” I managed a smile. “And you’re never dismissive of me, even when we’re arguing. Maybe even especially when we’re arguing.” I bit my lip. “I love my dad, but I could never be with someone like him.”
“Am I like him?” he asked, sounding like his breath was caught in his throat.
“No,” I shook my head. “I might be rambling, but… the truth is my mother is very emotional, and my father is very cold, especially to her. I was his favorite, and for most of my life I took his side and his point of view, which meant I learned never to be emotional around him. To be fair, it couldn’t have been easy living in a house full of women, especially when we were all teenagers, only a few years or so apart.”
Darcy frowned a bit in sympathy.
“Now that I’m older and looking back, I realized I was always afraid to show any really deep emotion because he hated anytime we were sensitive, or expressive. And I love my mother, but I was so terrified of never learning to control my emotions that I now realize I may have accomplished it a bit too much.” I frowned, then shrugged a bit awkwardly. “Jane has almost the same issues, but I was my father’s favorite.”
“I know I seem distant sometimes,” Darcy started when I had been quiet for a moment. “Or cold.”
“You’re not,” I said, then grimaced as I remembered I had thought that about him for a long time. “Maybe on the surface, but you’re so not.” The truth was, I had all the aloofness and he had all the appearance of it. I sighed. “I think that’s why I pulled away so much. I thought you were looking for a random hookup, and you did remind me of my father, at first.” I grimaced. “I mean, not that I saw you as my father, just that I saw you as the type of man I would never be with.”
“And now?” he prompted, his voice strained. I made myself look him in the eye once more.
“You’re the man I never realized was perfect for me,” I told him, my heart beating wildly in my chest. “I know we argue, that we’ll probably always argue,” I laughed softly. “But I even love arguing with you.” I realized I was beginning to ramble again, so I swallowed.
This was the moment I needed to push myself past any and all issues that have stopped me in the past. Before I could psyche myself out from thinking about it too much, I said, in a bit of a rush, “I love you too, Will.”
I think I will remember the slow grin of pure happiness that took over his face for the rest of my life. I laughed from sheer pleasure when he kissed me and complied when he asked me, again and again that night, to repeat myself. I had thought we had been the most tender the night he hijacked my date with George; that was nothing compared to tonight. Was it too clichéd to say it was the first time we were actually making love rather than having sex? Maybe, but there you go.
EPILOGUE
“I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.”
Elizabeth Bennet, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Our first big fight happened about a month after our long weekend at Pemberley.
Working together had gotten complicated, so I had been flirting with the idea that I wanted to switch companies so I wasn’t dating the CEO. What made me hesitate, of course, was that Darcy Technologies was the best in the business, and I happened to like being able to see Darcy every day at work, even if we had very little time to socialize. What helped me finally make a decision to go through with it was after Darcy gave me a promotion at work. Suddenly, a lot of people started making not so subtle comments on the perks of dating the boss.
I hated it.
I absolutely loved my job, but I couldn’t take the office politics, so when I finally made my decision to send out my resume, I approached Darcy about it. He was instantly upset and argued with me about it for hours. He tried any and every tactic to get me to stay his employee, from reminding me that I wouldn’t find a better company to work for, to threatening termination for anyone who made me feel like I didn’t deserve to be there. I tried to point out how much worse that would make things but he still couldn’t let it go. I finally had enough; I told him he didn’t have any control over my life and if he wanted to be with me he would just have to accept that. Then I stormed out.
It had taken me all of five minutes in the car to realize my mistake. I bit my lip as I vacillated for another minute, but then clutched the wheel tightly and did a totally illegal u-turn to go back to Darcy’s condo. I took the stairs two at a time and tried the door, hoping it would still be unlocked.
It was.
I walked through the apartment to find Darcy still sitting on the couch, looking dazed. When he heard me come in, he turned towards me with a look of surprise, and then wariness. I came to sit next to him, reaching for his hand and sighing in relief when he grasped mine tightly.
“I’m so sorry,” I told him remorsefully, the anger having been drained out of me. “I shouldn’t have left. I told you that I never want you to be dismissive of me, or leave in the middle of a fight, and then I went and did exactly that.” I frowned, my heart contracting painfully, thinking of how much I hated when my father did that and being incredibly disappointed that it was my first instinct. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Elizabeth,” he murmured, tugging me closer so he could put an arm around me. I leaned my head into the crook of his neck and wrapped my arms around his torso. “I’m just glad you came back.”
“I’m trying, Will.” I needed him to know that. “I know you’ve been incredibly patient with me, but I really am trying.”
“I know you are, Lizzy.” He ran a hand soothingly through my hair and I heard him sigh. “I should have just told you how I felt about you leaving instead of lashing out. I’m trying, too.”
“I know I shouldn’t care what people think, but I do.” I confessed. “I can’t stand that most people assume I’m being promoted because we’re dating.”
“I understand,” he said softly. “I wish it wasn’t happening; to me it’s very obvious why I promoted you. It would have happened regardless of how I felt about you. But I
don’t want people to make assumptions about you before they get to know you, or for you to constantly be having to prove yourself because of me.”
“Neither do I,” I said. “I love working at DT, but I would rather date you and work somewhere else.”
“If those are my options,” he seemed amused but resigned. “I would rather you date me as well.”
I finally pulled back to be able to look at him.
“So, you aren’t mad?” I asked hesitantly.
“I was never mad, not really,” he said, stroking my face lightly. I shivered. “I was disappointed. I knew you had a point, but I didn’t want to hear it. I can’t imagine spending a whole day at work without getting to see you.”
“I love you, Will,” I said, tilting my head up invitingly as my stomach fluttered and clenched with the intensity of my feelings. He kissed me softly. “I love working with you. But I would be miserable staying there and being treated like I’m sleeping my way to the top.”
“I understand,” he said resignedly. “I really do. I’m not happy about it, but I understand.”
“We could…” I began, but then bit my lip, turning away with a blush on my cheeks.
“We could what?” He said sharply, turning my head back to look him in the eye. He did this often; he didn’t seem to be able to let me break his gaze when I was too nervous to keep it.
“Well, I really like seeing you every day too. If you wanted to… maybe we could move in together,” I murmured.
He gasped audibly. “Really?” In a voice barely above a whisper, he asked, “Would you really move in with me, Lizzy?”
I couldn’t help but smile at his eagerness. “Yes, Will. I would.”
“That’s a fair trade,” he grinned. “I think I could live with that.”
“I love making you happy,” I told him impulsively, cupping his cheek. “I love that living together would make you so happy.”
His grin transformed into that tender, loving intensity.
“I love making you happy, too. I love that you love making me happy,” he said softly, then didn’t waste any time before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine.
Soon, we both became a bit frantic with our kisses. I tugged his shirt off and pulled him down on top of me, my back against the couch. His hands were everywhere; he didn’t seem to be able to linger on any one spot before jumping somewhere else. I didn’t really have room to talk though, I was gripping his shoulders tightly one minute and running my nails lightly up his back the next. He slipped my shirt over my head impatiently. Just as he was unbuttoning my pants, Richard came through the doorway.
“Oh fuck,” he exclaimed, turning his head. “Shit! Sorry.”
Darcy and I untangled ourselves. Even though Richard had turned away, Darcy made sure to block me from view as I tugged my shirt back on before he followed suit.
“Richard,” Darcy finally grumbled.
“I know, I know. I need to knock,” Richard replied. “In my defense, I am still not used to you having a girl over. Ever.”
I softly kissed Darcy’s irritated, pouting face with an affectionate smile. Normally, I would have just told his cousin to get lost, but I knew Richard was leaning on Darcy a lot while he figured things out with Charlotte, and I didn’t want to take that from him. I still held out a hope for the wayward couple, and I thought Darcy was a good influence on his cousin.
He certainly worked wonders with me.
“It’s okay, Rich,” I said once my breath had evened out again. Darcy reached over and buttoned my jeans about a second before Richard finally turned back around. “I need to finish something for work before tomorrow anyway.”
“You can use my room,” Darcy offered, a pleading look in his eye that I knew meant he was asking me not to go home just yet. I began to protest, but the look on his face when I did stopped me. Well, I might as well get used to staying here.
“Yeah,” I smiled, cupping his cheek. “Okay.”
He grinned brightly at me, and I was a bit dazed from it for a second.
“I can leave you two alone,” Richard said with a bit of an irritated tone. Finally, I looked away from Darcy’s brilliant expression and turned to Richard, raising an eyebrow.
“A bit late for that, don’t you think?” I replied evenly. I kissed Darcy again, despite the crabby man behind him, and then picked up my bag and headed to his bedroom, closing the door behind me.
∞∞∞
About an hour later, the door opened and a weary Darcy stepped through. I was leaning back against the headboard contemplating a shower, having just put my laptop away only five minutes prior.
“Is Richard still here?” I wondered as Darcy came into the room and slipped into bed beside me.
“He left.” Darcy sighed. I knew from his succinct words that he had used up his quota of conversation for a while.
“Poor Darcy,” I cooed, pulling him so he sat in front of me. I began massaging his shoulders.
“He can be so moody sometimes.” He sighed, dropping his head forward. I couldn’t help the laugh that burst from me, and when he turned in surprise I bit my lip, trying unsuccessfully to hide my amusement.
“Must be a family trait,” I said with a cheeky smile. He frowned at me before his features lightened and he actually rolled his eyes.
“Must be.” He turned around again and I continued to rub his shoulders.
“He wanted to go see a movie,” he told me.
“You could have gone,” I encouraged him. He turned to face me again.
“I didn’t want to,” he said softly.
“Oh,” I couldn’t help but smile. “And why is that?”
“Because,” he turned the rest of his body towards me and I dropped my hands from his shoulders as he leaned into me, putting his hand on either side of my hips. “I knew I had a beautiful girl all alone in my bed.”
“Anyone special?” I teased, pulling him even closer as I laid back.
“Very special,” he kissed my collarbone. “The love of my life; the only woman I have ever loved.”
“Will,” I swallowed, holding his head in my hands. “For someone so socially awkward, you say the sweetest things.”
“You bring out the best in me, Lizzy,” he smiled. I flipped us over so I was straddling his hips.
“There’s something to be said for positive reinforcement,” I giggled, leaning over him.
“You are a brilliant woman, Elizabeth Bennet.” Will grasped my hips. “There’s no arguing with
∞∞∞
Months later, we were in the car on our way to the church Jane and Charlie would be getting married in that day.
“My father will do his best to throw you off. He loves to say or ask something completely random, or completely personal, to see how you react.” I needed to forewarn Darcy about the day ahead. “He will also find out where you stand on certain issues and then take the complete opposite side.”
So far, we had avoided all but the most basic meeting between Darcy and my parents due to the fact that Jane and Charlie were getting all the attention. This morning, though, my parents, Darcy and I were all meeting at the church for some last-minute preparations before I joined Jane and my other sisters at the salon, at which point Darcy and my parents would be left behind. Together. Without me.
I may have been on the verge of panicking a bit and had definitely done all I could to avoid this very situation.
“My mother will definitely ask you about your wealth, about Pemberley, and if you have any male relatives that could be set up with my sisters.” I winced. “She will then go into great detail about how to handle me, and will not be subtle about asking how long until we’re the ones getting married.”
“Lizzy,” Darcy said gently. “Don’t worry. Nothing your parents say or do will make me think less of you.”
“I know,” I reluctantly replied. “I just don’t want you to be subjected to them. Especially without me there to protect you.”
“I will be
fine,” he told me with an amused smile. “I promise.”
“Oh Darcy,” I shook my head. “Sweet, naive Darcy. You know how much I love hearing you tell me how I was right, don’t you?”
“Today,” he chuckled. “I guarantee you won’t hear that from me.”
“Lizzy!” My mother was already there waiting for us as we got out of the car. “You look so dreadfully pale, sweetie. Are you getting any sun at all? I hope the wedding photos will turn out okay.”
“Hi, mom.” I sighed with indulgence. “You remember Will, don’t you?”
“Oh yes,” she looked him over with a predatory gleam in her eye. “Will, how handsome you look.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Bennet. You look very lovely yourself,” he smiled charmingly at my mother and I narrowed my eyes at this easy-going man; this was not my Darcy.
“Oh, pish,” she giggled. Out of her line of sight, I rolled my eyes. “Now tell me again, how did you and Lizzy meet?”
“I worked for him, Mom.” I jumped in. “I told you that.”
“Of course,” she turned back to me, and I was instantly wary of what could have taken her focus off the rich, handsome stranger I had brought with me. “I was so disappointed to hear you only lasted a year at that place, Elizabeth.”
“I chose to switch companies, mom.” I said through gritted teeth. “I wasn’t exactly fired.”
“You can’t be so flighty, Elizabeth,” she said sternly.
“Me flighty?” I repeated incredulously. “Mom-”
“Ah, thank goodness.” From behind me, my father joined us. “I was afraid I wouldn’t have an intelligent word spoken to me all day.”
“Hey Dad,” I said with more affection. I stepped to him for a hug, but wasn’t surprised when he patted my shoulder instead. He was not the most affectionate parent, though I did love him. “I was just introducing Will to Mom.”
“William Darcy, wasn’t it?” My father did his own once over.
“Yes, sir.” Darcy nodded, holding out a hand, which my father took, thank God. “We met yesterday, but we didn’t have a chance to talk.”
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