BULWAR
I do not.
KNOCK (OS)
Hah! Idiot!
BULWAR
However, I believe he has an accomplice. A mindless servant, a modern-day idiot, a buffoon amongst dogs and sewer rats, a wearer of shabby clothing, a horribly pungent turnip dipped in curdled milk, an ugly, offensive, bad-postured—
KNOCK (OS)
That’s not in the script!
BULWAR
(breaking character, Southern accent) I felt inspired. (In character, to THOMAS) Your employer, Knock, I believe he is this servant. We must hunt him down and force him to tell us where the Count is.
THOMAS
Where will we find him?
BULWAR
I’ve heard the locals speak of a man who eats cockroaches by the handfuls beside a very shabby butcher’s shop. We’ll find him there, and then we’ll find the Count.
ELLEN
Thomas.
ELLEN coughs.
THOMAS
Yes, Ellen?
ELLEN
You can go. I’ll be fine. I’ll wait for you here until I get better, then I’ll cook you a big hero’s meal.
THOMAS
Always the dutiful wife.
ELLEN and THOMAS kiss.
BULWAR
Come, Mr. Hutter. We must away!
BULWAR exits heroically.
ELLEN
I love you, Thomas.
THOMAS
As you should. And as I should, I love you, too.
THOMAS exits.
ELLEN has a coughing fit.
ORLOK enters, shifting in the darkness and leering through the window at HIS prey. HE is truly a predator of the night.
ELLEN
I hope my Thomas stays out of harm's way. He's so wonderful to me. I couldn't bear it if he were hurt protecting me. I'd give my life in a second if it meant saving my husband from any kind of pain or misery.
ORLOK tries to quietly step through the window. However, it's harder than it looks, and ORLOK has some trouble until finally falling down on the ground.
ORLOK
This is unacceptable! Stagehands!
STAGEHAND 1 and STAGEHAND 2 enter.
STAGEHAND 2
What?
ORLOK
Burn this window.
STAGEHAND 1
You got it.
STAGEHAND 1 and STAGEHAND 2 take the window and exit. ORLOK regains HIS composure and sneaks behind ELLEN.
ORLOK
Good evening!
ELLEN screams.
ELLEN
Who are you?! You tall, dark, handsome monster.
ORLOK
Mmm. Do I not look familiar to you? I've visited you many times before...in your dreams.
ELLEN
It's you! The monster in my dreams! Thomas! Tho--
ELLEN has another coughing fit.
ORLOK
Your husband and his watchdog are long gone. Only you and I remain.
ELLEN
What do you want with me?
ORLOK
I want you, of course. I want your blood.
ELLEN
No, you cannot have it. I'll...I'll...
ORLOK
What could you possibly do to protect yourself from me? Me, a creature of the night, a horseman of the apocalypse, a harbinger of pain? What could you do?
ELLEN
I can pray! The Church says prayer will always drive the devil away.
ORLOK
Like that would really do anything to--
ELLEN
"Oh, most Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit--"
ORLOK grabs HIS ears in pain.
ORLOK
My ears, they burn!
ELLEN
(Breaking character) I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry--
ORLOK
I'm fine. It's an act.
ELLEN
Oh, okay.
ORLOK
(In character) You are a true believer! A pure spirit! Fine, fine! You win. I shall leave...
ELLEN
Thank the Lord!
ORLOK
And eat your husband instead.
ELLEN
No, don't!
ORLOK
Yes, I will. I hear he is looking for me. It was so rude of me not to formally see him off from my castle, and I never leave a meal unfinished...that is, unless I'm handed a better meal.
ELLEN
What do you mean?
ORLOK
I could allow your husband, your friends, and even the ridiculous Professor to live if someone were to sacrifice themselves to me. Not any mortal would do. She would have to be of great beauty, a clean soul, and have the voice of an angel.
ELLEN
You want me as your sacrifice?
ORLOK
I do. If you allowed me to drink from your neck without struggle, I will leave Weisberg and never return. Do you accept?
ELLEN
I don't know. Can I trust you?
ORLOK
I swear it on the head of Beelzebub himself, I will never return after I have fed from you.
ELLEN
Save Thomas and die? Or save myself and let Thomas die?
Organ music vamps under ORLOK.
ORLOK
A hard decision to make, but it is an easy one for someone in love, yes? Do you love your husband? Do you love Thomas?
ELLEN
I do.
THE PRICE OF LOVING SOMEONE
ELLEN
MY LOVE MAKES ME DO CRAZY THINGS
PANIC, WORRY, FREEZE UP, COMMIT,
GIGGLE, RELAX, CHEER UP, SUBMIT
I'M THANKFUL FOR THE JOY IT BRINGS
I CANNOT TELL
WHERE I START AND WHERE HE ENDS
ALL I KNOW IS HE DEPENDS
ON CUPID'S SPELL
MY LOVE MAKES ME DO CRAZY THINGS
LASH OUT, COMPLAIN, TEAR UP, ACCUSE,
EMBRACE, CHERISH, SMILE, EXCUSE
I'M THANKFUL FOR THE BLISS IT BRINGS
I CANNOT SAY
HOW ALL THIS CAN BE THE TRUTH
BLAME THESE FEELINGS OF MY YOUTH
FOR MY DISARRAY
ORLOK breaks character and gives out a hand for ELLEN to take. THEY dance, and ELLEN drops HER act and reveals how impressed SHE is with ORLOK's moves.
ORLOK
MY LOVE MAKES ME DO CRAZY THINGS
MURDER, BLUDGEON, FRIGHTEN, CONSUME,
CAPTURE, PURSUE, EMBRACE, ENTOMB
I'M THANKFUL FOR THE DREAMS IT BRINGS
NOW I DO SEE
WHY WE SHOULD ALWAYS BE TOGETHER
YOUTH AND DEATH ENTWINED FOREVER
I GUARANTEE
The organ music ends, and the actor ELLEN and ORLOK are enthralled with EACH OTHER.
ELLEN
You're a wonderful dancer.
ORLOK
A thousand years of practice would make anyone a master.
JAMIE (OS)
"Have you made your decision yet?!"
ORLOK
Oh...uhm...(In character, to ELLEN) Have you made your decision yet?
ELLEN
I have. I'll save my husband, and let you have me. I won't fight you.
ORLOK
(to audience) You see? My evil plans always bear me sweet fruit, for I am a master of the darkness. Nothing is out of my reach, and I hunger for all. (to ELLEN) Now, my prey, you are mine forever!
ORLOK turns away from audience and puts in fangs, then reveals HIS fangs in a grand pose.
ELLEN
(Breaking character) Oh, wow! There so...so...big. I had no idea.
Count Orlok: The Bloody Truth about the Greatest Vampire to Ever Un-Live Page 5