Alex handed me another drink as I sat on the edge of the bed. I sipped it this time, giving my body the time it needed to rest.
“So what did you study in Europe?” I asked, getting a better look at him as he leaned up against the wall in front of me.
“Business and foreign policy.” He continued staring intently at me, holding onto a glass in one of his hands.
“That’s quite intimidating.” My eyes widened, impressed. I brought the glass back to my lips, tasting the burn of whiskey as it went down my throat.
“Nah, it’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s a family thing. Tradition and all that shit. Ya know how that goes.”
“Yeah, I have an idea.” The truth was I knew all about that too much. Although I didn’t come from money, I knew plenty of people who did. I saw how it changed them, how they acted entitled to it all, how they felt they were invincible. Most of these people I called my friends, but deep down, our friendship was as fake as their breast implants.
“What about you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Fashion? Marketing? Sociology?” he listed with amusement, grinning.
“Is that the norm for New York City elite?” I mocked.
“Let’s see…living on daddy’s money, I’d say anything that didn’t require their brains to actually work.” He pursed his lips as if he were really thinking about it. “Is shopping a major?”
I laughed lightly, actually wondering the same thing. What did rich daddy’s girls major in?
“I didn’t graduate from a four-year college, actually,” I admitted, as much as it hurt to say it aloud. “I never had the money.” I shrugged it off.
His face resembled a mix of shock and pity. “Oh, sorry. I just assumed since—”
“No, it’s fine,” I cut him off. “Most people do.” I couldn’t go into any further details. At this point, I just wanted to forget my perfectly-designed life just for one night.
I tipped my head back and finished my drink hoping to end the conversation for good. He watched me with captivating eyes as he walked toward me. They looked hungry and eager.
For me.
I leaned down on the mattress as he started to hover over me. “So why don’t you tell how a gorgeous woman like you isn’t taken already.”
“You know…” I began as he situated his body comfortably in between my legs, removing my dress completely. “Had I known at the bar you were such a talker…”
Before I could finish my sentence, he spread my legs wide and roughly pushed inside me. He opened and stretched me before I even had time to comprehend anything. I gasped as my fingers dug into his back and hung on.
He felt large and thick. He kept up the pace, thrusting in and pulling out. In, out, in out. He held onto my ass, pushing us even closer together. I had no idea it could feel like this. He consumed me…every nerve in my body was on fire as he continued stretching me.
“Yes…god, yes…” I moaned, screamed, grunted. I couldn’t think. I could only feel. And my body was feeling everything.
“Christ, Mac…you feel fucking amazing,” he said against my ear. My hands grabbed onto his ass, pushing him even deeper inside me as I scratched my nails up and down his body. My legs clenched tighter together as he continued driving into me. My pussy squeezed his cock as my body began convulsing.
“God, I love it when you do that, Mac,” he growled, nipping lightly against the flesh of my ear. It sent a shiver down my body as I arched my hips up to greet his eager thrusts.
“I’m marking you for all the other girls who try to get near you.”
He slowed his rhythm, bringing his head to mine so our eyes were now locked. “Sweetheart, if I had you, I’d have no reason to be with another girl for the rest of my life.”
I squinted, needing to make sure this guy was for real. I blushed before responding, “You’re just saying that…although you don’t have to...I’m already underneath you.”
He laughed lightly, moving against me again. “I’m not, Mac. You really are a sweet thing. So fucking gorgeous and perfect. I can’t believe another man hasn’t claimed you yet.”
I continued moaning and panting in response, unable to reply.
“C’mon, sweetheart. Let me hear you…tell me how good it feels.”
“So good…yes!” I screamed. I couldn’t really speak; the sensation was too overwhelming. My body had taken over and it was about to come all over him. For the third time.
“That a girl…” He pumped faster as I screamed his name, my body tightening all around him. I dug my nails harder into his ass and back as my toes curled in complete ecstasy. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he said, thrusting once more, going deeper inside before he growled out my name and released inside me.
My body felt relaxed. Too relaxed. My arms fell to the bed in surrender as he pressed his mouth to me, slowly entwining his tongue with mine. I felt him slowly move out of me and lay on his side next to me, rubbing his fingers against my cheek soothingly.
“You’re something else, Mac.”
“What does that mean?” I turned and faced him, smiling.
“I’m not sure,” he said, laughing to himself. “It means…I’m captivated. Completely.”
“Well, don’t get attached,” I tried to respond seriously, but it came out in giggles. I couldn’t concentrate. My mind was going fuzzy, the alcohol burning through me. He lowered his hand and grabbed my hip, pulling me onto my stomach and half-way on top of him.
I wasn’t sure how long we lay there, but soon, I heard my stomach growling. I fell in and out of consciousness, but I never fully fell asleep. “Would you like me to order you some food?” he asked, teasingly. “Or can I talk you into something else?”
He rolled me over on my back and climbed on top of me. “You’re an animal if you can go again…” I said in between his kisses. My body responded to him immediately, arching up to feel him against me.
“I just was coming to kiss you…you’re the one reaching for more,” he mocked. My hand moved down his body and gripped him in my palm. I hadn’t been able to feel him in between my fingers yet and I was begging to. His skin was smooth and firm. I could feel him growing harder in my hand, and I couldn’t help but want more.
“I can’t help it…you just feel so fucking good,” I admitted. He brought his lips back to mine, pushing his tongue in deeper as I sped up the pace. I let him slide up and down in my hand as his mouth assaulted me.
I released a moan, my body burning for him to be back inside me again. I didn’t know what it was about him, but I couldn’t get enough.
He broke the kiss and when our eyes met, he demanded, “Roll over.”
I did as he said, rolling to my stomach so my ass was facing him. Normally, I’d feel self-conscious, but between the alcohol and adrenaline rush, I only felt desire.
“Good god,” I heard him growl. “That ass is fucking perfect.” He dipped his head down, slowly and torturously kissing the length of my spine. “You taste incredible everywhere. Nothing will ever compare or satisfy my craving now.” I felt his lips curl up against my skin.
“Well, that’s unfortunate,” I chuckled, raising my hips up to meet him.
“Not even my favorite…”
He didn’t finish…he bent down and bit my ass. I yelped in surprise but found it more pleasurable than painful. He kissed over the bite and then grabbed my hips, pushing my ass out even further.
“Don’t move,” he demanded. “This is perfect.” He ran his hand down my spine and over the curves of my cheeks. He bent down again and kissed me, moaning and groaning as he devoured my skin.
I felt him position himself behind me as he teased my opening with the tip of his cock. I pushed my ass out, needing him inside me. “Greedy,” he taunted. I smiled as he continued moving it up and down my slit, making me wetter and wetter. I was already wet, but now I could feel myself dripping all over him.
“Alex…” I pleaded, trying to push myself down on him.
“Yes, sweetheart? Te
ll me what you want…” he probed.
“I want you…hard. I need it…you,” I confessed. It was exhilarating begging for it. I was willing to beg him for anything at this point. I was craving it, aching desperately for him to fuck me.
He gently pushed inside but stopped before he was all the way in. He was enjoying making me squirm, getting off on not getting me off. “Alex!” I screamed. It felt like torture now.
“You keep screaming my name like that, sweetheart, I’ll fuck you any way you ask, baby.” His voice was calm, but firm. It was rough and deep, and drove me absolutely fucking crazy.
“Alex….” I begged. “I’ll do anything.”
“I love a girl who begs for me, sweetheart. It’s so fucking hot…you’re so fucking hot.” He pushed inside finally, filling me completely just the way I needed him to. It felt incredible how deep he was able to get from behind me. He gripped my hips harder, digging his nails into my skin as he moved faster, thrusting in and out as deep as he could.
“Yes! God, yes! Don’t stop…” I rambled, moaning, and gripping the sheets in between my fingers. He was using and abusing my body, but I’d begged for it. I wanted it. I’d never experienced anything like it before.
“Let me hear you, Mac,” he said, driving into me deeper. I could hear the slaps of our bodies, the mixed arousals joining together as our bodies collided over and over. It was the best fucking sound I’d ever heard.
“I’m so close, Alex…god. Don’t stop…harder. I’m almost there…” I squeezed my eyes, arching my back out more as he drove into me and slammed directly on my g-spot, making me scream his name out immediately.
“Holy shit,” I breathed out, barely able to contain myself. He was still driving into me with full force, building my body up once again. “I don’t know how much more I can take…I—”
With one final thrust, he came, pulling another orgasm from me with him. We screamed and moaned together, riding out the intense explosion we both had just experienced.
I collapsed on the bed just as he pulled out. My body was done. I couldn’t take anymore.
I felt the bed dip and footsteps followed after. I had assumed this was the part of the one-night stand where you go your separate ways. Or so I figured.
I heard him return, and when I turned my head to look, he was in sweats holding a wet cloth.
“Turn around, sweetheart. You’re going to be sore tomorrow.” His kindness threw me off. I hadn’t expected him to take care of me afterward. No guy has ever done that for me.
He carefully rubbed it between my legs, letting the warmth consume me as he cleaned me up. It felt amazing and a cry almost escaped when he pulled it away and tossed it aside.
“Thanks.” I smiled, my eyes starting to get heavy.
He pulled the sheets back and I felt him get in next to me. He pressed his chest against my back as he lay side by side with me. He wrapped his arm around me and held me close to his heart.
That I hadn’t expected.
Once the realization hit me—the chemistry, the spark that lived inside me this whole time without even knowing it—I knew.
I had to make a decision.
Chapter Eighteen
I wasn’t going to make this decision lightly. I knew I needed to talk this out with someone and that someone was Staci. I texted her that we needed to meet up ASAP. Immediately after work Monday, I went over to her apartment so we could talk in private.
“I need to tell William, right? Tell him, move out, and start over. That’s the only logical answer,” I stated matter-of-factly as I sat on her small couch, shoving Dorito’s Spicy Nachos chips into my mouth.
I didn’t even like hot chips.
But I was nervous and upset, and I eat when I’m nervous and upset.
“Mac, let’s just think this through, okay?”
“Why do you think it all came back to me weeks later? I’d been having glimpses of it here and there, and then, it just all comes back to me…” I rambled off, continuing to eat and chew.
“Well, I’m no psychologist…” She narrowed her brows at me. “But sometimes, memories are triggered by something. An emotion. An incident. Sometimes it’s something as small as a smell, a color, a voice. Your brain can block memories out that would otherwise be painful,” she explained. “My little sister was in a bad car accident when we were little. We were riding our bikes and she crossed the road and was hit by a truck that was pulling a trailer. She broke her leg and was in a body cast for weeks. She was nine years old, but after surgery and getting to come home, she didn’t remember the actual events of the accident. And now to this day even, she doesn’t remember any of it. So…your brain blocks those out. The memory of the pain of what she felt was too much for her and it’s been blocked out of her memory ever since.” I actually could understand what she was talking about and nodded.
“Okay, that makes sense. But…I don’t know. It just seems weird, right?”
“Well, you were pretty intoxicated, right?”
“Yeah…you could say that.” I sighed. I’ve never been that irresponsible before in my life. “So what’s this all mean? That I was ready to remember it? That somehow the memory flooded back in because of my fight with William? I mean, that could’ve been a trigger.”
She tapped her finger on her wine glass as she thought it through. I continued thinking about that night and how it’s all I’ve been able to think about. “Your speech!” she spat out. “Shit…you had just given a whole speech about your past. You let your guard down. You allowed yourself to be vulnerable and let people see you for you. You became comfortable with the memory of your past and so it’d make sense for your blocked memories to come back. And I’m sure Alex being there didn’t help.”
I swallowed as her words sunk in. It was starting to make sense. I avoided talking about my past as much as possible, but Saturday night was different. Once I started, it was hard to stop. Not only was I passionate about the charity, but I was passionate about being honest and letting people see the real me. William acted as if it was an ad campaign for making me look good to the press, whereas Alex stood by my side every step of the way.
“You’re right,” I said quietly. “Alex sees me differently. He doesn’t see how the media wants to portray me, he sees the real me.”
“And William?” she prompted. “How do you think William sees you?”
I blinked, really thinking about it. I wasn’t sure anymore. “I’m really starting to think he sees me different from what I’ve always thought he did. He’s always treated me so well. I thought I was the love of his life, and now…”
“Now what?” she prompted.
I felt tears escape my eyes before I could say anything in return. The whole thing—this fucked up situation I’ve gotten myself into—was becoming too much.
“Now I’m unsure…” I said, shaking my head at myself. “I feel like he needs me more than wants me. I had no expectations at first. I had no dating experience before him to really know the difference. And now…now I’ve started to.”
She sat up and crossed her legs, still gripping her wine glass in one hand. “What’s your heart telling you, Mac? You ultimately need to do what you feel is right. Have you even told Alex you had the dream?”
I shook my head. I hadn’t even seen him that morning, which was intentional. I wasn’t ready to face him yet.
“Well, I think maybe you just need some time…don’t make this decision quickly and make sure you’re one hundred percent positive before you do anything about it.” I looked back up at her and she flashed a weak smile. “I love you, Mac. I only want you to be happy. And whatever you decide, I’ll back you up all the way.”
I sat up and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her neck. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She welcomed the gesture and hugged me back, rubbing a hand down my back, soothing all the anxiety that was surfacing.
“Well, for starters…” she began as I sat back down, “you’ll neve
r have to know. But you’d probably still be sitting in his hotel suite, too afraid to walk out alone.” I laughed for the first time that day, relief finally washing over me.
We sat and talked for a while longer, changing the subject to TV shows and gossip. We finished our bottle of wine, and before I passed out, I grabbed a cab and went back home.
I needed to see Alex before I made my final decision.
I WALKED INTO a dark and quiet apartment just after nine p.m. I knew William was probably asleep already. I had called him on one of my breaks and told him I’d be stopping at Staci’s after work and that he shouldn’t wait up for me. Clearly, he had no intentions to anyway.
I walked into the kitchen to grab a quick snack. I hadn’t eaten since before we finished the wine, and I needed something to soak up the alcohol.
Just as I finished making a turkey sandwich, I heard footsteps in the hallway leading into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and turned around to Alex standing right in front of me.
I swallowed. “Hi.”
His brows drew together. “Hi. What are you doing?”
I blinked, lowering my eyes to the bottle of water in one hand and my sandwich sitting on the counter next to him. “Getting something to eat. What are you doing?”
“I heard you come in…just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine,” I shot back unconvincingly.
I stepped around him, grabbed my sandwich, and sat down at the breakfast bar. I felt his eyes on me the entire time, but I reminded myself I couldn’t act any different. Not yet. As far as he knew, we agreed to be ‘friends’ and since then, nothing’s changed. At least, until I figured this whole mess out.
“I was going to make some hot chocolate. Want some?”
I finished chewing and swallowed. “Yes, please. Thanks.” I smiled up at him, but he kept his back turned away from me.
We both stayed silent as I finished eating and he waited for the water in the kettle to boil. I watched as he poured the hot cocoa into two mugs and stirred them until they were thoroughly mixed.
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