“You did wonderful, darling. Great speech.” William leaned over and kissed my cheek. “You have a great backstory. The press will eat that up big time.”
The difference between him and me was that I didn’t care about the press. I didn’t want them using my story to make money. It was my story and it wasn’t meant to be used for that purpose.
“Well, knowing them, they’ll spin it into some messed up story and make me look bad.”
“Well, being homeless isn’t exactly something to glamorize, darling.”
I narrowed my brows in frustration. “Well, exactly. It’s not,” I hissed. “It’s an ugly truth that too many people don’t want to know about.”
“Well, of course not.” He sighed. “But I’m proud of you for getting involved with something you’re passionate about. It shows the press you have good character.” His expression showed no emotion whatsoever, and I couldn’t believe he wasn’t a bit affected by it.
I leaned in so I wouldn’t make a scene, and in a hushed, stern voice, I said, “I don’t care about the fucking press. I don’t care how bad it makes me look. I thought I did, but now that I’ve stood up there and basically, overcame my biggest fear of telling strangers what my childhood was really like, I’m done hiding and pretending that it never happened. Because whether or not you like it, it did.”
He flashed his eyes to me briefly before taking a sip of his drink and said, “We’ll talk about this in private, Mackenzie. This isn’t the place.”
Chapter Sixteen
William escorted me to the car that was waiting for us. The photographers had all left, but I still felt like I was on display. He placed his hand securely on my lower back, ushering me to the back of the car. I felt uneasy about the whole night, but I couldn’t think of that right now. I just wanted to be home.
As William walked around to get into the other side, my eyes met Alex’s through the window. He was leaning against the building with both of his hands in his pockets, staring intently at me. His lips were in a firm line and tense as were his facial features. I swallowed and mouthed, “Thank you” to him just before William sat in next to me. Alex returned a light nod before pushing off the building and walking away. The car started and pulled into traffic just as he turned and looked at me once more.
I could feel my heart break in that moment. I closed my eyes as I thought about the situation I was in. How could I be in love with one man and have feelings for another?
Was that even possible?
I didn’t know a lot about relationships and love before I met William. I had gone on dates, but they never turned serious. When I met William, and he asked me out on that first date, I never expected it to go further. I was completely smitten and he took my breath away on a daily basis with how sweet and attentive he was. I didn’t have anything to compare it to, but I just knew it made me feel really special.
So when he proposed to me, it was a no-brainer. I had never been happier, and I wanted to keep it that way, but now I was finding myself questioning everything.
I was completely silent in the car on the way home. He placed a hand on my knee and left it there until we arrived at the apartment. We hadn’t spoken much since after my speech, and I could only hope his mind was spinning as much as mine was.
Because right now, nothing was making any fucking sense to me. I needed a sign, a reason to believe I was meant to be with him.
As soon as we stepped into the apartment, I fisted the material on William’s chest and pulled him to me, locking my lips on his, hot and hard. I was angry with him, pissed that he hadn’t been supportive and stayed by my side, but I needed to test my feelings for him. I wanted to feel something. After the kitchen incident with Alex, I was beginning to doubt everything.
His lips covered mine, reciprocating everything I was giving him. His hands firmly gripped my hips, pulling us closer together. I could feel his arousal against my stomach and the thought excited and sickened me at the same time. The image surfaced of that woman’s hands all over him, right in front of me, and yet I hadn’t felt a sting of jealousy. I was more upset at the fact he wasn’t by my side, supporting and focusing only on me. My blood boiled as I thought about how I only wanted one night—just one night that was about me and what I was passionate about, and he couldn’t even give me that.
William moaned in my mouth as his hand trailed up my body and landed on my breast. He squeezed it gently with just a touch of pressure. He was never overly forceful, but just enough to let me know he wanted me.
“Mackenzie…” he moaned in my mouth, but it didn’t sound right. For the first time since meeting him, the sound of him saying my name tore me up. “Darling…” he said again, pushing us through the house. His lips remained on my mouth and neck until we arrived to the bedroom.
I was panting by the time my knees buckled against the mattress. He leaned over me, forcing me to lean back on the bed as he slipped his hands up my thighs. How was it he didn’t even realize I was annoyed with him before leaving the event?
And why was I fooling myself?
“William, stop,” I said abruptly, pushing my body back up. “Stop.”
“What is it?” he asked, stunned and confused. He wiped the corners of his mouth off before seeing the serious expression on my face. “Are you all right?”
I adjusted my dress, pulling the straps that had slipped down back up and covering my legs before speaking again. “Would it have killed you to stay by my side tonight?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Tonight!” I screamed, irritated that he was going to make this difficult. “First, you’re late, and then when you do arrive, you wander off to talk to everyone but me. Don’t you think that’s a bit upsetting for me?”
“Mackenzie, darling…there were people there who expect me to make conversation. It’s rude if I ignore them. It’s just business, you know that.”
“And what about what I expect from you? Does that not mean anything?” I challenged, my face feeling hot as I finally pushed my guard away and was ready to tell him exactly how fucked up his behavior was.
“I didn’t realize it would be a problem,” he said casually, standing up and fixing his shirt. “I always speak to colleagues at events. It’s never been a problem before.”
I stood up with a straight face and replied, “Well, it’s a problem now. Tonight was about me and perhaps I was a fool for expecting you’d be by my side for once.”
I stepped to walk past him, but he firmly grasped my arm and pulled me back toward him. “Don’t leave.”
“I need some air,” I said, unable to look at him. This wasn’t the William I had fallen in love with. We had both been drinking, and I couldn’t think straight.
“Fine. But then we’re going to talk about this when you come back.” It wasn’t a question—he was demanding it.
But I didn’t feel like talking about it.
I STOOD OUT on the patio with a blanket draped over my shoulders. The night air had cooled down some, but I didn’t care. The crisp air felt good, almost numb to what my heart and head were feeling.
Had I been blind this entire time? Was William always this person? Was he changing?
Or was I?
I hated questioning things. It brought up too many hurtful memories, and I just wanted to believe things worked out for the best. But now I was questioning everything.
After a while, I went back inside to warm up. I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and peeked into the bedroom. William was passed out in bed, but I wasn’t ready to go sleep next to him. I needed time.
I walked into the sitting room that was just off the main living room. It was smaller and peaceful with a white built-in bookshelf and my modern, elegant off-white couch I had brought from my old apartment. I didn’t bring many things over, but I bought it with one of my first big checks and I was proud of that purchase. William had made room for it in here, so I always liked coming in on occasion. But right now, it was being used to
put distance between the mess that my reality felt right now and myself.
The room had a set of white French doors, but I kept one side open just in case William came looking for me later. I grabbed a blanket and snuggled into the couch, needing a good night’s sleep to get myself back to feeling like me again.
I thought I heard shuffling in the living room, scaring me out of my deep sleep. I peeked over the edge of the couch and saw a lamp was left on. I checked my phone and saw that it was past three a.m. Alex must just be coming home. He didn’t leave with us, and from the pained look he gave me, I knew he hadn’t planned to come home anytime soon.
I settled back into the couch, letting sleep take over once again.
Chapter Seventeen
I woke up to a quiet apartment, but the pounding in my chest was anything but quiet. I was also breathing heavily as if I had just run a marathon. Something felt wrong.
I stood up and grabbed my phone. It was just after nine a.m. Normally on Sundays, when William was home, he’d be out on the patio with the newspaper and coffee. But the apartment sounded completely empty.
And then I remembered why I had woken up so abruptly and why my body felt tense.
I remembered.
I remembered everything.
I had dreamt it, or at least I think I did. Either that or my memory was coming back to me…
“Are you from around here?” I asked once we were in his hotel suite.
“Originally, yes. But I just moved back from Europe after studying four years abroad.”
“Oh, wow…” He grabbed my hand again, leading us out of the elevator and down the hall to his room. “Private suite?”
“Yeah.” He let out an easy laugh. “Family money.” He shrugged. I could tell he didn’t want to talk any more about it, which was fine with me.
“Do you want a drink?” he asked, letting go of my hand and walking toward the wet bar.
“Sure…I’ll take whatever,” I replied, taking a good look around the room. The windows were floor to ceiling and the view from here was breathtaking.
He turned around and handed me the glass. I was still buzzed from the drinks we had before leaving Le Bain.
I brought the glass up to my lips as my eyes trailed down Alex’s body. He was young, definitely fit and in shape, and had nailed down the ‘I’m going to eat you alive’ look. All I knew at that moment was how done I was with being Manhattan’s good girl. I was done with the acting. Or perhaps that was the alcohol taking over.
I slammed the drink down, not even knowing what it was. I choked on the intense burn, but I quickly swallowed it down, not caring anymore.
“Shit…” Alex spit out. “You aren’t supposed to down it like a shot.” He tried to conceal his laughter, but his smile told me everything. He was fucking turned on.
“I didn’t want to waste any more time.” I set it down on the bar and walked up to him. “No more wasting time…” I wrapped my arms around him, bringing his mouth down to mine. I crushed our lips together, the mixture of alcohol and heat evident as our mouths collided. I heard his glass drop, liquid splashing as it landed on the floor.
His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me up. My legs engulfed him, wrapping around him as he walked us down a hall. I felt his hard bulge against my thigh, taunting the ache down below even more.
Moaning, panting, grinding. Our bodies were inseparable as we made our way into a bedroom. He kicked one of the French doors open; it slammed against the wall in response.
He set me on top of a desk, our mouths still connected in a heated battle of wanting, needing more. My hands raked through his hair as he pressed his pelvis into me. I could feel his arousal in between my legs, which drove me fucking crazy. God, I wanted to feel him. Touch him. Lick him.
“Alex…” I whimpered as his mouth slowly moved down my jaw and neck. “Oh, god…” I moaned as his lips sucked on my collar bone like he’d been begging for all night long. “Mm…”
He brought his lips back up to my ear and whispered, “Say it again.”
“Say what?”
“My name…” He bit my ear gently before continuing, “Say it.”
I swallowed, my body quivering in response. “Alex…I want you so fucking bad…”
“I know, sweetheart.” I could feel him smile against my neck, a devilish, grinning smile I was sure. “Hang on to the desk,” he demanded.
My hands found the edge. I folded my fingers over and did as he said. He leaned back and stared at me.
“What?” I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous. You know that? I mean, really, Mac. Beautiful.” His voice was genuine, making me blush at how much attention he was giving me. His eyes were intense, staring at all the intimate details of my body.
He brushed his hands up my thighs, taking my dress up with them. He found the string of my panties and looped his fingers through. He gripped them as he began pulling them down my thighs, knees, and eventually, letting them fall to the floor.
My shoes were still on, but he didn’t remove them. He spread my legs as he knelt on the floor, positioning his head right in between them.
He grazed the inside of my thigh with his nose, groaning and licking as he made his way up closer. I was dying. My body was aching for him and he was slowly torturing me, taunting me. I could feel how wet I was for him. Just one flick of his tongue was all it’d take to set me off if he didn’t give me what I needed soon.
His hands gripped behind my knees, holding my legs apart as he continued licking and grazing his nose up my other thigh, still not giving in to where I really wanted his mouth.
“Alex…I’m about to combust,” I whimpered. “Please…or I’m going to do it myself.”
He smiled wide, obviously pleased with how worked up I was. “You move those hands, Mac, and I’ll be tying them up. Do you understand?”
I groaned, my arousal heating up even more. I wasn’t a prude, but I hadn’t ever been tied up before. Perhaps I’d like to be tied up?
“Yes,” I answered anyway.
“Good girl.” He kissed the inside of my thigh as he pushed my dress up even higher. “Lean back, sweetheart. And remember, hang onto the edge.”
Before I could respond, his mouth was on me. His tongue lapped up and down my slit so fast, I swore I came right then and there. He moaned and grunted as he sucked on my clit. My hips bucked in response, desperately wanting to move my hands to his head.
Inaudible moans and words came out of my mouth. I was no longer in control. My body ached and a shiver of thrill responded from what he was giving.
“Fuck, Mac…I could devour this pussy all night long. You taste like fucking heaven.” He released his mouth for just a moment before diving back in. My back arched eagerly for more. He shifted slightly as he brought two fingers up and started rubbing circles on my clit. I gasped as he pressed both fingers inside me, twisting, and pushing them deeper inside.
“Oh, god!” I shrieked, losing my grip on the wood. “Shit…oh, my god…y-yes!” I couldn’t control the words that escaped my throat. I was moaning and screaming and completely losing it.
“Let me hear you, Mac.”
“I can’t…” I breathed out. “My, god, it’s too much.”
“You want to come, don’t you?” he taunted with amusement. I nodded, pushing my hips onto his fingers harder.
“Yes, yes!” I begged. I needed to or I was going to pass out from the intensity.
“Good girl. Keep talking, sweetheart.” He brought his mouth back down, sucking on my clit as he worked his fingers deeper inside me. The build up was intense, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could last.
“Yes…Alex, more. Please, don’t stop!” I squeezed the edge, trying to hold on as best I could. He worked up a rhythm of licking and sucking as he twisted and pushed his fingers in harder and deeper. My body tensed, my legs clenched tighter together as he upped the pace. He used his thumb to press circles against me, his
mouth never leaving the raw skin of my pussy as I screamed out his name. “Alex! Yes, oh my god!” My body bucked hard into him as my hands flew to his hair and squeezed. I pushed his head hard into me as I rode out my orgasm.
My body relaxed, my hands falling lax against the desktop. My breathing started to slow down from its rapid rhythm—but before I had a chance to catch my breath, Alex surprised me by continuing.
I clenched my legs together, squeezing his head. “What are you doing?” I squealed, not ready for him to go again. I had barely recovered. “Oh my god…no, Alex. Wait. Oh my god…” He continued his pleasurable torture, crossing the line to painful pleasure as another orgasm ripped through my body. It sure didn’t take much. I was extremely sensitive and the brush of his facial stubble just added to it.
“Jesus…” he growled. My eyes blinked to his face, braving a look at what tasting two orgasms looked like. “I wasn’t kidding when I said you tasted like heaven…except when you come, it’s ten times better. Like heaven on steroids.”
My body sunk on the desk as he licked his lips and wiped his jaw. I was mesmerized. Captivated. The alcohol swam through me as a rush of calmness overcame me.
“My body feels like jello,” I blurted out. “I didn’t even know that was possible…to come twice in a row. Holy shit.” I could feel my cheeks heat, but I didn’t care. I just had this guy’s tongue all up inside me two seconds ago.
“You have exactly five minutes to recover, sweetheart. And then I’m finding a better use for that ass.” He nodded down at the dark cherry wood desk I’d been sitting on. He smirked as he pushed himself to stand up while maintaining eye contact.
I went to use the bathroom, needing time to recover. My body was flushed, the alcohol still buzzing through my veins. I pulled my dress back down, but I knew it was no use. I planned to let him rip it off me as soon as he was ready.
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