“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” she said, answering the door with an odd expression on her face that he didn’t like the look of.
“Hey there, sugar, ain’t you a sight for sore eyes?” he said, pretending not to see the flash of anger in her face as he let himself through the front door. She didn’t tell him to get the hell out, there was that, but she didn’t exactly look pleased to see him, either. Compared to the warm greeting Nate had been expecting, this was an unpleasant surprise indeed.
“Yeah,” she said icily, “I’m glad to see you, too. Maybe you can tell me about this competition I’m supposedly entered in. Because I’ve got to say, it’s all been news to me.”
* * *
The look of shock on Nate's face did nothing to improve Athena's mood. For a second, she was sure he was going to play dumb, and if he did that, she wasn't sure she could be responsible for what she did. When his eyes widened, and he slapped himself in the forehead, she was pretty sure he wasn't going to feign ignorance, but she wasn't sure how that was going to help. It wasn't, for example, going to make up for the fact that she had spent most of the day hearing her own name on the radio and having no clue what it was doing there.
“Aw, shit. Shit!” Nate exclaimed, appearing to be in real distress now, “I forgot to tell you, didn’t I?”
“Yes,” she answered in a slow, measured voice. “If you’re referring to the competition I’m apparently entered in, then yes, you definitely forgot to tell me.”
"Well, then no wonder you look so ticked off! I'm sorry, honey, honest to God, I am. I don't know how I forgot to tell you."
"Don't be sorry, Nate, just explain," she said quickly. Her hands were balled up into tight fists, her fingernails digging little crescent moons into the fleshy, sensitive part of her palms. Vaguely, she was aware that she was probably going to have cuts later that were going to be a bitch to handle while she was riding, but at the moment, she couldn't help herself. She was on the verge of real, ugly panic.
"Here, honey," he answered, plopping down on her couch and patting the cushion beside him, "come sit next to me. I can explain everything, and when I do, I think you're going to be happy with me."
“That would be good, although I have to say, I’m pretty upset at the moment.”
“I can see that,” he answered warily, “but just try and give me a chance.”
“I’m listening,” she said cautiously, careful to hold herself far enough away from Nate that their bodies didn’t touch. The last thing she needed right now was for her biology to surpass her common sense.
“I went to my team, Athena.”
"Your team?" she interrupted, unable to resist a little jab at the A-list speak, "What team are we talking about, here?"
“My PR team,” he answered patiently, “I wanted to do something for you, something to showcase all of the hard work you’ve been doing and how talented you are. They told me about a competition down in Houston.”
“Hold on, so you’re serious?” she burst out, “You entered me into a competition without telling me? And one so far away?”
"I did, but it's a good thing, Athena. It's a chance for you to get your feet wet before we have to go up against each other. Think of it like a warm-up."
Athena stood quickly enough that it made Nate flinch and started pacing back and forth in front of him. Her mind was moving so quickly it was dizzying, and none of the thoughts were good. She didn't even want to look at Nate for fear of what kinds of things might come out of her mouth, but at the same time, she couldn't help herself. How could she not say something? How could she not tear into him for, yet again, treating her like she didn't have a mind of her own to do her thinking?
"You're still mad," he said, his voice taking on a flat, dull tone that only annoyed her more. She chanced a look at him, and she could tell from his face that he was starting to get pissed off, too. What she didn't know was how on earth he thought he had a right to get upset when it was her who was being treated like a child.
“You just... you had no right, Nate,” she spluttered, struggling to find the right words.
“No right?” he echoed in a hard voice, “No right to what, exactly? I was trying to do something good, Athena. This wasn’t an easy competition to get into. It’s not some baby, rinky-dink shit. This competition is the real deal. My guys had to pull strings to get you entered at such late notice.”
“So you were doing me a favor, then?” she asked, her voice positively dripping with sarcasm. She hated the way it sounded, hated the way she sounded, but she couldn't stop herself. Pandora's box had been opened, and she had no idea how to get it shut again.
“Yes,” he clapped back loudly, “if you want to look at it that way. You’ve been wanting to be taken seriously, Athena. You’ve said as much before. This is how you do that. With bigger competitions, ones with important people watching and real money at stake. This is the only way you get to where you keep saying you want to be.”
“So you’re just being chivalrous, then. And all of that time on the radio that you spent talking me up, I’m sure that had nothing to do with you trying to fuel the social media romance between the two of us. I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with making yourself look like some kind of a hero.”
“And what if it does, goddamnit?” he finally exploded, getting to his feet and moving towards the door, “Is that so wrong? I’m not hurting you—I’m helping both of us! You knew what you were getting yourself into when it came to that. And you’re the one who’s been bellyaching about all the advantages I have that you didn’t. I was trying to give some of that to you. Didn’t realize you’d be this adverse to finally starting to go places.”
“I—" she started to say, with no idea of how to finish her sentence. She had finally done it. She had pushed him too far. Easy-going, charming Nate was past his breaking point, and she had been the one to put him there.
“No,” he stopped her, holding up a hand, “don’t worry about it, okay? I’ve got this.”
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started typing furiously, his forehead wrinkled with a full-on scowl. She wanted to ask him what he was doing, but she was afraid to speak at all. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her she had already said more than enough.
“There you go, Athena, problem solved. I texted my PR guy. He’s going to pull your name out of the competition. I’ll take whatever flack comes our way. It was my mistake, after all.”
With that, he turned and let himself out of her apartment, careful not to slam the door on the way out. For a minute that seemed to stretch out into forever, Athena just stood where she was. She was almost afraid to move, as if that would make everything that had just happened real.
She had only had one other real relationship in her life when she was twenty years old, back when she was still naive enough to expect things to be effortless. She could still remember how stunned she had been by the way fights could crop up, and now that knowledge hit her again with full force. Only days ago, she had been practically high on thoughts of Nate, constantly daydreaming about what it would be like when the two of them finally fell into bed together. Now, she wasn't sure it would ever happen at all. And to make matters worse, she had a feeling that she might have just made a terrible mistake.
“I think you screwed up, girl,” she whispered to herself as the first tears began to slide down her cheeks, “I think you screwed that one up big time.”
13
Athena woke the next morning to find her hope of feeling better in the morning unfulfilled. Her sleep had been fretful, full of tossing and turning and half-sleep that left her feeling more tired than if she had never gone to sleep at all. She wasn't used to feeling this way, and it was making her feel sick to her stomach. When she couldn't take it anymore, she picked up her phone and dialed the only number she could think of.
“Oh my God!” Laura practically screamed into her ear before Athena could so much as offer a greeting, “Oh my
God, Athena, I was just about to call you!”
"You were?" Athena asked uncertainly, "Why? Is everything okay?"
“Of course it’s okay! It’s better than okay. You, my dear friend, are the talk of the town.”
“I’m sorry, Laura, but I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Athena answered, flopping back onto her bed and sighing. This wasn’t exactly how she had imagined her conversation with Laura going.
“Your competition, sister! It was all anyone could talk about—that is, before Nate came on the radio today.”
“What do you mean?” Athena asked, sitting right back up again and gripping the phone tight, “What happened on the radio today?”
“Oh, honey, he had to eat crow, is what he did. You must have been so mad at him!”
“Um, yeah,” she answered uncertainly, “but how do you know that?”
“Because!” Laura answered shrilly, sounding like she was really starting to enjoy herself now, “I don’t think he would have done it otherwise. The competition was one of Athreal’s little satellite things and they were already putting the word out about you being in it. Thought people would be interested, what with your show and all. I seriously doubt they were happy to lose that hook.”
“What exactly did he say, Laura? I wasn’t listening.”
"Oh, you know, just that he went and put his big ol' foot in it. Both feet, from the sound of it. He should have been more careful, that's what I think. He's going to have some real explaining to do with Athreal if he still has a chance at closing that sponsorship deal with them at all. This whole mess made him look flakey and them look stupid, is what I think."
"Right," Athena said, her voice sounding far away. It was more than just her voice, though. She felt oddly detached from her body like she was floating above it instead of living on the inside where she belonged.
All she had wanted was to do a little venting, maybe have Laura agree with her on what an asshole Nate had been. Now, she was more confused than ever. She wanted to stay angry at Nate, almost felt as if she needed to stay mad for her own protection, but she didn’t like hearing Laura talk about him this way. She felt caught between a rock and a hard place, and there was only one thing she knew for certain. She needed to talk to Nate. She needed to see him, to look him in the eye and put this fight to bed once and for all.
“Anyway,” Laura continued to prattle, mercifully oblivious to Athena’s inner turmoil, “the way I see it, this can only be good for you. It’s—"
“Hey, Laura?” she interrupted, already on her feet and searching for her shoes, “I’m really sorry to interrupt, but I’ve got to go.”
“To go?” Laura whined, clearly hoping for a more lengthy, gossip-filled conversation, “What do you mean, you need to go? You just called, and we’ve got so much to talk about!”
“You’re right,” Athena agreed, “we do. And I promise I’ll call you back later so we can talk about anything and everything you want. But right now, I really need to go see about something.”
“Oh, all right,” Laura sighed, “I know when I’m beat. You go see to your man.”
“He’s not my man, Laura,” Athena said weakly, blushing furiously. She was grateful for the fact that she was alone at the moment. She wasn’t too keen on having an audience while going through the crisis of trying to figure out just what in the hell she and Nate were to each other.
“Honey, if you really believe that, you’re just about the best liar I ever met.”
Athena hung up the phone before Laura could embarrass her any further and practically ran to her car. Now that she knew what she wanted to do, she didn't want to wait a minute more. It was all she could do to keep from driving a hundred miles an hour to get to Ian's house, and she was glad for the cover of an impending storm.
She made it to Ian's drive in record time, the gravel crunching under her feet as she hurried up the path to the front door. She didn't allow herself to pause, not once until she stood in front of his door with her fist poised to knock.
“Am I really going to do this?” she whispered to herself, her face growing warm with the mere thought of the confrontation. Getting into a yelling match in her apartment was one thing, but ambushing Nate at his brother’s house was another thing entirely. She had no idea what she was going to do if Ian or Katie opened the door and wanted to know why she was there. The last thing she wanted was for them to hear her and Nate fighting, and after talking to Laura this morning, she thought a fight might be exactly what he was in the mood for. She knew she would have been, if the tables were turned.
"You planning on standing on the doorstep all day?" Nate's voice came through the closed front door loud and clear, making her jump about a mile into the air. She took a step backward as first the door, then the screen opened, revealing Nate standing in the shadowy front hall.
“Sorry,” she answered sheepishly, “I... I guess I was trying to get up my courage.”
“You need to muster your courage to knock on the door? That doesn’t say a whole lot about me, does it?”
“Not because of you, Nate, honestly. I just didn’t want to disturb your family. It occurred to me all of a sudden that it might be getting to lunch time around here.”
“Nah,” he answered, stepping aside and motioning for her to follow him inside, “you don’t need to worry about that. Ian and Katie took Andy and the baby to see her dad. They aren’t going to be here for a couple more days, I think. We’ve got the place all to ourselves. Come on back.”
She did as she was told, shutting the door behind her and following mutely as he led her through the house. A wave of nostalgia washed over her, looking at everything inside the old house. Ian had done some remodeling, enough to make the place look modern, but there were plenty of remnants of the old house she had played in as a girl. Seeing it made her heart ache for those simpler times when she and Nate had been friendly rivals and nothing more. The feeling was overwhelming, and by the time she and Nate stepped into the guest room where he was staying, she felt like she might cry.
“I’ve gotta be honest with you, Athena,” he said, lowering himself slowly onto the edge of the bed, “I’m sort of surprised to see you here. You were really pissed at me last night.”
“Yeah,” she said quietly, “I guess I was.”
“And now?” he asked.
She looked at him closely, really looked at him, and all of her resolve left her. Now that she was standing in front of him, she understood why she had really come. She was there to explain herself more fully, and calmly this time so that they could finally understand each other.
Except when she looked at him now, he looked like a shell of his former self, like the light inside of him had been switched off. The worst part about it was she was the one who had flipped the switch. She had made him look unreliable and maybe even a little foolish to Athreal and probably to some of his fans. For Nate, that was most definitely hitting him where it hurt.
“What is it, Nate?” she asked, sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed beside him, once again careful not to let their two bodies touch.
“Nothing,” he said, swiping a hand over his eyes and sighing, “nothing that won’t blow over.”
"Feel like telling me?" she prodded gently, afraid that he was going to be angry with her pushing but pushing all the same. Her heart actually ached for Nate and the pain that was radiating off of him. She had been the one to put him in this place, and now she wanted desperately to be the one to bring him back out of it. She took a shaky breath and slipped her hand into his. When he didn't pull away, she started running her thumb lightly along the inside of his palm. She was almost afraid to breathe, lest it stop whatever was happening here.
“It’s nothing big, Athena,” he finally said, “nothing I want you to worry about. It was just a rough PR day. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Because of me,” she said. It wasn’t a question, at least not the way she said it. It was a certified fact. Although she didn’t know
exactly what he’d had to do, not yet, she could see that it had cost him dearly.
“No, Athena, because of me. I’m the one who set up that deal without consulting you. You made it pretty clear that you didn’t like me pulling strings without talking to you first, and I did it anyway.”
“So what happened? Did you…?”
“Get you out of the competition?” he supplied, sparing her the task of having to put it all out there herself, “Yeah, I did. I went to my PR guys and told them you weren’t going to be a part of the competition after all. I told you I would, and I did.”
“And?” she pressed, moving closer to him on the bed, pressing against his arm ever so slightly.
“And they weren’t happy about it,” he admitted. “I went ahead and called the director of the competition up myself.”
“What did you say?”
“That I’d jumped the gun. I told ‘em that you already had a competition and that it was my fault you were double booked. They weren’t all that thrilled, either.”
“Oh, Nate,” she whispered, “I’m so sorry. You shouldn't have had to do that. I shouldn’t have made you do that.”
“Doesn’t matter, honey,” he answered, “it’s done. There’s nothing to do but weather the storm.”
“Will this hurt you? Badly, I mean?” she asked, not sure she really wanted to know.
“It’ll blow over. There will be some bad press. People will talk about what a flake I am, maybe be a little less inclined to work with me for a while. But, like I said, it’ll blow over. And now you’re in the clear.”
There were a million things Athena wanted to say and yet she couldn’t make a single word come out of her mouth. She found that there were no words, at least none to express her thanks and her regret properly.
The Cowboy’s Rodeo Rival: Grant Brothers Series Book Three Page 9