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The Slade Brothers: A Complete Small Town Contemporary Romance Collection

Page 52

by Alexis Winter


  All week, I’ve been waiting for my period. All week, it’s let me down. I can’t wait any longer. I have to know. I take the box to the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I tear open the foil package in the box and pull down my pants. I’m so nervous I can barely go, but I squeeze out enough and replace the cap before setting it on the edge of the sink.

  As I wash my hands, I refuse to look at the little stick that’s taunting me. My green eyes are full of nervousness and fear, I can see it as I stare at myself in the mirror. I should’ve been more careful with Clay. I should’ve asked him to use a condom. I should’ve been more careful about my birth control. I had a shot last April and was due again earlier this month. It completely slipped my mind with everything going on. I wash my hands longer than is necessary in order to avoid the truth sitting right in front of me. I shut off the water and dry my hands. Even though I’m trying to avoid looking, my eyes fall down to the white stick that has two pink lines across it.

  I think I leave my body. I’m pregnant. By Clay. I’m going to have a baby. And Clay, a man who claims to not want this life, is going to be a father. Fear consumes me. Panic eats at my stomach. Tears sting my eyes, and my throat tightens up as I attempt to hold them off. Deep down, I knew I was pregnant. I’ve been exceptionally tired lately. I’ve been nauseous from time to time, but it always passes during the day. I’ve been more emotional, more cranky. I had just hoped that all the stress was getting to me. I refused to believe it. But now, I can’t refuse it anymore. It’s right there in front of me in white and pink.

  I start pacing back and forth across the white tiled floor. I shake my hands, trying to regain feeling in them. The numbness started when I saw the results.

  I can do this. First step: see a doctor. I’ve heard of false positives before. Maybe that’s what this is. There’s no sense in worrying for nothing. I’ll make an appointment for tomorrow morning. I can swing by as soon as I drop Bryce off. I won’t even think of it again until then. I know if I hold back a secret from him, Clay will pick up on it instantly. I won’t tell him. Not until I have to.

  I toss the stick back into the box and then bury it under toilet paper in the bathroom trash. None of the guys use the bathroom up here anyway. I’m sure it’ll be safe. When I make my way back down the stairs, I find Clay in the kitchen, pouring a glass of sweet tea. He takes a long drink, studying me as I move around the kitchen. I pick up a few cars that Bryce left on the table and toss them into the basket in the hallway. I move to the sink and grab the container of cleaning wipes.

  “You’ve cleaned these counters at least four times already. What’s wrong? Is Glenn bothering you again?” Clay asks, reaching out and taking the wipes from my hands.

  “No, I haven’t heard anything since moving here,” I tell him, shaking my head. I lean against the counter and cross my arms, hoping to keep my hands from shaking.

  He places a hand on either side of me and leans down. “What’s wrong, Autumn?” he whispers the words as he leans in for a kiss.

  “Nothing is wrong,” I assure him, pushing up on my tiptoes for that kiss he’s dangling over my head.

  He kisses me quickly, pulling back to study my face. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

  “O—of course,” I stutter.

  He doesn’t look like he’s buying it, but he doesn’t push further either. Instead, he grabs his glass of tea and heads back outside to get to work on the barn. When he’s gone, I breathe a sigh of relief.

  I manage to get myself an appointment to be checked out the next morning. I drop Bryce off at daycare and then go straight to the doctor’s office. The parking lot only has a few cars, automatically settling my worries. At least there’s less of a chance that my personal business will be spread around town this way. I grab my purse and walk into the small brick building.

  The receptionist behind the desk greets me with a smile. “Hi, how are you today?”

  “Fantastic,” I reply, writing my name on the line.

  She glances at the computer screen and then back to me. “It looks like we need some insurance information.”

  It suddenly hits me. My insurance is through Glenn. If I give it to her, he will get the bill for what insurance doesn’t pay. I shake my head. “I’m private pay.”

  She nods. “Okay. We’ll need thirty-five dollars, and then you will be billed the rest. We’ll also need you to fill out these forms.” She hands over a clip board.

  I give her the thirty-five dollars and then take a seat to fill out the forms. It takes me about fifteen minutes to fill everything out. As I’m handing over the clipboard, a nurse steps into the waiting room and calls my name.

  I nervously walk back into a private room with her.

  “Okay, so what do we have here?” she asks, taking a seat at the computer.

  “I think I may be pregnant,” I answer.

  “The first thing we’ll need then is a urine sample.” She stands and opens the cabinet above her head, taking down a clear plastic cup. She hands it over and then points me toward the bathroom.

  I’m walking out of the doctor’s office twenty minutes later with a stack of pamphlets in one hand and a prescription for prenatal vitamins in the other. I feel like I’m doing the walk of shame. Stress and worry are weighing heavy on my shoulders. What am I going to do? I can’t tell Clay. He’s said repeatedly that he doesn’t want to settle down. But he’s also told me that he’s here, no matter what I need. Will that include helping raise our child? Will he think that I’m trying to trap him? No, Clay is too good to think that about me. I’m sure he would act happy about the baby and say he’ll help out. He may even want to marry me. But then, over time, he’ll start resenting me. During every midnight feeding, early morning diaper change, and every time I ask him to give the baby a bath, he’ll think, But I never wanted this life. How did I end up here?

  I don’t want to force Clay into anything, especially something he’s already told me he didn’t want. But maybe something has changed for him? I know things have changed for me. I once didn’t want things between us to get serious. If you ask me, what we’re doing now is serious even though it hasn’t been discussed. Maybe that’s where I should start, by finding out what it is we’re doing, what it means to him.

  I drive slowly back to the farmhouse, not in any hurry whatsoever. Being in a hurry would only get me there and to that conversation even sooner. If at all possible, I’d like to put it off as long as I can—maybe even for the next eighteen years or so. Ha, that is impossible.

  When I pull into the drive, I’m surprised to find it empty. The workers aren’t here, fixing up the barn like they have been. Clay’s truck isn’t here either. I wonder if they went on a supply run or if maybe they started a new job. I park the van and climb out, walking toward the front door. Instead of going inside, I take a seat on the top step, looking over the beautiful property and enjoying the warmth of the sunshine on my skin. I need to find a way to tell Clay. If he wants to be a part of this baby’s life, great. If not, well, then I’ll do it on my own. It’s not like I haven’t done it before. Sure, when Bryce was a baby, I was still with Glenn, but he never lifted a finger to help with him or anything around the house. I can do this. I can do anything, I tell myself.

  Eighteen

  Clay

  “Clay,” a woman yells my name as I’m sliding the last board into the bed of my truck.

  I close the tailgate and spin in the direction of the voice, finding Tessa walking toward me. She must not be working today since she’s in normal clothes and her hair and makeup are done perfectly.

  “Hey,” I reply when she gets close enough.

  Her arms wrap around my neck and she pulls herself to my chest, hugging me. I quickly hug her back and then step away, leaning against the truck. “What’s been going on?”

  Her head tilts to the side as she studies me. “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in…” She looks to be counting up the days mentally. “A month? Month
and a half? We never go this long between dates.”

  I offer her my shy smile, the one I know she likes. Not as a way to flirt, but as a way to let her down gently. “I’ve been at the B&B. We finished up the house and have moved onto the barn. I just had to come pick up some more lumber for it and Bryce’s treehouse. How’s the diner and baseball and all of that?”

  She ignores my question. “Can we have dinner tonight? There’s something I really need to talk to you about.”

  “I’m sorry, Tess, but I can’t. Whatever it is, we can talk about now if you’d like.” I check my watch. I’m under a little bit of a time crunch. My plan was to stock up on lumber, then go back to the house and start on Bryce’s treehouse. I wanted to surprise him with it this evening. Tessa is really cutting into my build time.

  “Well, it’s just that I was really hoping to have this conversation in a different setting. You could swing by my house when you have some free time?”

  I feel my brows pull together. “Your house?”

  She smiles and nods.

  “What about your son? You never wanted him to know about us before.”

  “I know.” She nods again, jerking her eyes from mine as she looks down at our feet.

  “Look, Tess. I really do have to go.” I attempt turning around, but her hand lands on my bicep. I freeze, looking over my shoulder at her.

  Her mouth is set into a straight line and her eyes hold a touch of sadness. “Can we just go for a cup of coffee?” she asks, and her voice is off. It’s not her usual sure voice. She sounds as if she’s asking for a huge favor and she’s unsure of the outcome.

  I let out a long breath. At this rate, it would probably be quicker to hear her out. “Alright. I’ll meet you at the diner.”

  Her smile breaks free now and she nods.

  I climb behind the wheel and head over to the diner. Moments after I pull in, she’s turning in behind me. She parks her car next to my truck, and we meet in front of them.

  Nothing is said as we walk into the restaurant and take a seat in a booth. Immediately, a waitress comes over with two mugs and a pot of coffee.

  “Thanks, Bonnie,” Tess says, pouring sugar into her cup.

  Bonnie smiles and walks away.

  “So, what’s this about?” I ask, lifting my cup and taking a sip of the bitter coffee.

  She takes a deep breath and cups her hands around her coffee like she’s trying to warm them. “I’ve been thinking a lot…about us.”

  Oh, shit.

  “It’s just that with your absence, I’ve really grown to miss you. I miss our dinners, our talks, our friendship, and well, you know.” Her cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink.

  “I…I don’t understand. I thought we had an agreement. I thought we were keeping things casual?”

  She nods. “I know, but things have changed. For me, I mean. My son is about to leave for college. I’ll be all alone. And I miss you so much already, it just made sense to take the plunge, you know?”

  My face pinches together out of confusion. I never wanted this. I never wanted a relationship with her. I never wanted to hurt her.

  “I just thought that missing you the way I have been is a sign that you mean more to me than I thought. I don’t want casual anymore. I want you. I want you and me together, in a relationship.”

  My head falls forward, and I rest it in my hand, massaging my forehead as I do so. “Tess…” I breathe out. Finally, I lift my head and lock my eyes on hers. “I can’t. I can’t do casual with you right now, let alone, a relationship.”

  She sits back and crosses her arms over her chest. “I knew it. It’s her, isn’t it?”

  I press my lips together, thinking things over. I don’t want to give Tess a reason to hate Autumn, but what am I supposed to say to keep that from happening?

  “I’ve been seeing her, yes,” I start.

  “I knew it. I knew this would happen.” Her eyes are wide with alarm, and her voice is quiet but has a high pitch to it.

  I extend my hands, palms up. “Look, Tess. I didn’t mean for this to happen with her and I didn’t mean for us,” I motion between the two of us, “to end up this way. Things between us were supposed to stay casual. You agreed to this.”

  “I know,” she breathes out. “And I meant it, but the longer we kept it going, the more feelings developed. I guess I just hoped it was the same for you—so are things between the two of you casual?” The way she says that word makes me wonder if she’s trying to compare what she and I had to what Autumn and I have.

  “Things between us are…complicated.”

  Her face pinches. “What’s that mean?”

  I take a long, deep breath. “It means that we’ve agreed to move slow. She has a child to think about. She’s just getting settled. There seems to be a million things stacked against us right now.”

  Her dark eyes study me. “You love her, don’t you?”

  I pick up my coffee and take a sip, thinking over her question. Finally, I nod. “I do. I don’t know how this started, or why, or if any of it will even work out between us, but I’m not ready to walk away from her yet. I can’t.”

  A sad look comes over her face, her eyes becoming a little misty, but tears never fall. “That could’ve been me…if you would’ve allowed yourself to see me that way.”

  “That’s just it, Tess. I didn’t allow myself to see her that way either. She and I, we’re just meant to be. I couldn’t ignore it or walk away from it. Even when I tried, I was pulled right back. That’s just how some things are. No matter how hard you fight against them, they’re going to happen anyway because they’re meant to be.” I stand up and toss a couple bucks onto the table for the coffee. “I’m sorry if I hurt you, Tess. It was never my intention.” Without another word, I turn and leave the diner.

  When I pull up to the house, Autumn is sitting on the front step. She has her arms wrapped around her knees and the bottom of her floral print summer dress is blowing in the light summer breeze. Her long dark curls are fluttering out to the side from the wind. Her bright green eyes are locked on me. I can’t hold back my smile when I see her.

  I get out of the truck and walk over. She stands and wraps her arms around my neck. With her standing on the step and me on the ground, we’re eye level.

  “Where ya been?”

  “I picked up some lumbar to finish up the barn and to build Bryce’s treehouse. Did you miss me?”

  She smiles. “I always miss you.” Without another word, her lips press against mine. Something about this kiss feels different. I don’t know if it’s because I was just talking about my feelings and confessing my love for her or what, but the emotion between us is doubled. Her tongue is sweet against my own, and her lips are light, soft, teasing.

  I pick her up against me and carry her inside. We stumble in through the screen door and I press her back to the wall. The kiss gains intensity and heat. Suddenly, it’s no longer an I missed you kiss. It’s one of need and desperation. My hands begin working her dress up her thighs, pushing the thin material out of the way. I move us into the kitchen and place her on the island in the center. She immediately gets to work on freeing me from my jeans. I work her panties to the side and push deep into her hot core. Finally, we’re connected as one, just like we’re meant to be.

  “Where’s the rest of the guys?” Autumn asks, adjusting her dress.

  I fasten my belt. “They’ve been working a lot lately. I gave them the day off.”

  She offers up a small smile. “That was nice of you.” She grabs two glasses from the cabinet and moves toward the fridge, pulling out a pitcher of tea. “Why didn’t you take the day off with them? You’ve been working too hard lately.” She pushes one glass toward me.

  “I wanted to build Bryce’s tree house. Thought I’d surprise him with it this evening.” I pick up the glass and take a long drink. It’s not as sweet as I like it, but she has plenty of time to perfect it.

  “He’ll love that,” she responds, picking
up her glass and moving to the table to have a seat. Something between us feels off. We’re talking, but it’s awkward small talk. It doesn’t feel as easy as it usually does. It feels forced.

  I sit next to her and pick up her hand in mine. “Everything okay? You seem…off.”

  “I’m fine.” Her eyes lock on mine, and I can see that she’s lying. She’s worried about something, but I have no idea what.

  I cock my head to the side and study her, praying she opens up.

  She rolls her eyes. “I’m just…I don’t know. It feels like things are changing, you know? The house is done. The barn will be done soon, and then you guys will be moving on to your next job. I guess that just leaves me wondering where things are going with us. I mean, what do you see in the future?”

  “Oh, ummmm,” I say, trying to think of a response. I’ve only just realized that I’m in love with her. However, this is not how I want to say those words for the first time. I’m not even sure if she wants to hear me say those words yet.

  “I know you said before that you never wanted the family life. But if you’re with me, that’s the only life. I have a child. Things can’t just be changing from day to day.”

  “I understand that, Autumn. I’m not sure what to say. I mean, you were the one that wanted things to remain casual. Is that still something you want? Or are you asking me to start a serious relationship?”

  “I know I did, and at the time, everything was still all over the place. But things seem to be coming to a close. What kind of life do you want, Clay? Look into the future. Do you see yourself one day married to me, having children? Or do you see yourself up on the mountain all alone?”

  I sit back in my chair, thinking things over. I love her. I don’t want to lose her. But she’s right. This needs to be thought out more carefully. I’ve never wanted the average life. Has that changed now that I’ve discovered my feelings for her? I look up and lock my eyes on hers. “I don’t think we should rush into these kinds of conversations. The last thing I want to do is say I’ll always be here if I don’t mean it.”

 

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