by Nana Malone
Before she could suggest her favorite place, he suggested the same thing. “Amarin?”
“Perfect.”
“I’ll call it in. Then we’ll go to mine. I’ll have one of my guys pick it up for us.”
So dinner together. Did this mean another night together? Excitement coursed through her veins. Everything about Caleb set her libido to hum, then into full scale booty dance. There was no point in denying that bit. It had been like that since she met him. She’d seen him at Synthesis bar the same night that Jaya and Alec had met. He’d been giving Alec a hand, running the place and checking security.
Everything about him fascinated her. His eyes, his height, his body which she’d been personal with on the dance floor more than once. Even the dusting of hair on the back of his hands fascinated her. Too bad he’d always insisted on taking her out to dinner. And wanting to date her. Why ruin a perfectly good man with him being one of those guys who was into dating and meeting his soul mate or some shit?
“Penny for your thoughts?” His voice was like smooth velvet.
She smiled.” Thinking about the first time I met you is all.”
Caleb chuckled in response. “You mean when you were working me on the dance floor like sex was a foregone conclusion?”
She shrugged. “I thought it was.”
“Ahh, then I had to go ruin it by asking you to dinner.”
Micha winced. “You’re still upset I said no?”
Caleb shook his head. “Nope. I like a challenge.”
Micha barked out a laugh. “Perhaps you want to aim for less of a challenge next time. I know I’m a pain in the ass.”
“Maybe I like pains in the ass. Who wants a woman who’s going to say yes on the first round? Where’s the fun in that?”
“Quick question for you?”
He glanced over at her from the driver’s seat. “Yeah.”
“What was going to happen if I let you catch me?”
His look turned smoldering. And her insides melted.
“You remember the other night?”
Shit. How could she forget? “Y-yes.”
“A lot more of that in a lot more interesting ways.”
Heat suffused Micha’s skin again, and her heart raced. He’d had stamina for that? Wow. Her kind of guy.
“Then why the dinner stipulation?”
“Why are you so vehemently against it?”
She narrowed her gaze at hm. “I told you why. Romantic entanglements aren’t my thing. And you know why.”
“Cause some douchebag hurt you years ago? That hardly sounds like the Micha I know.”
She chuffed. “You barely know me, ace.” They might be friends, but save her view from her living room, she’d never actually even seen his place. He always came to hers, or when they were with everyone, they met out and about. Come to think of it, she’d only ever really seen Alec come over. And any women Caleb had allowed in.
He shook his head as he worked his jaw. He pulled into the parking garage of the building. Pulling into his space, he turned to stare at her. “You think I barely know you?”
“Well it’s true. We’re more friends of friends really.”
“I know you would rather be moving than sitting still. I know you can put away more food than a small Irish army. I know you hate to run, but you do it anyway because you know it’s good for you and because you made a promise to some kid you interviewed that you’d run the race for cancer and make him proud. I know you have a violent streak.”
Micha rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, everyone knows that. All surface stuff.”
He held her gaze. “I know you take your friendships seriously, and you’d rather cut off your left breast than let down your friends. I know you’ve taken a job you don’t want, because you know it’s good for you like medicine. I know you suck on your tongue when you sleep. I know you have a hard outer shell that’s secretly vulnerable.”
His points hit close to home, and she couldn’t meet his gaze, but she wasn’t going to concede yet. “You don’t know everything, Caleb.”
“I know what you look like when you come, and it feels like Christmas morning. I know how your body hums when I touch you and how soft you are everywhere. And I know you sing in the shower. I know you, Micha Bennett. And it scares the hell out of you.”
Micha blinked up at him.
Only a scant several inches separated them. She wanted his lips on hers. For a moment she wanted the blissful oblivion he could offer. But he didn’t budge, just looked at her with his dark green eyes daring her to deny the truth.
Instead, she cleared her throat and went to open the door.
His hand snapped out to reach for her and hold her in place. He shook his head. “No.”
She thought he was going to kiss her, and her heart ticked up in anticipation. But he didn’t. Instead, he let himself out and came around to her door. Helping her out he said, “Remember, let me meet the crazy person first.”
She nodded mutely.
Once they arrived at his apartment, she hesitated on the threshold. It wasn’t like her to be afraid of anything. Hell, it wasn’t like her to take anything slow. Usually she bull-dozed her way into things. It was faster, but with Caleb she felt a little unsure. Almost...shy.
She gave a little snort of laughter at herself. No one, and she meant no one, would call her shy, not ever.
The living room was as she’d seen it, but what she’d missed was the gorgeous oak hardwood floor and the plush rug he’d put down under the coffee table. The unit was exactly like hers, so open concept. The kitchen set-up was a little different from hers though. But it had been newly renovated. His furnishings were masculine, but stylish. Like he spent money on the place but didn’t want to be too flashy.
“Your place is beautiful. It’s a little different than I pictured.”
Caleb tossed his keys onto the fireplace mantle and frowned. “Haven’t you been over here before?”
She shook her head. “Remember, I was in France covering the Cannes film festival when you had the renovations done.” She shrugged. “Besides, I don’t do manual labor.”
He grinned. “Right.”
“Then the couple of times you’ve asked me over here I’ve had to work.”
“So this is long overdue.”
Micha smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, only two years.”
Caleb put in a quick order for dinner. Unsure for the first time in her life, Micha surveyed her apartment from across the way. Yikes. He had as clear a view as she did. Good thing she had those opaque window coverings. The moment he’d moved in and she’d had her own private peep show, she’d purchased the blinds. Problem was, she liked to open them half the time to let in the light. And that was why she now had her own private sex tape. Perfect.
Unsure of where to sit or what to do with herself, she sat on the arm of his couch. “Any luck following up with the ghosts of my past?”
He studied her for a minute before speaking. “Trisha Jax is dead. Two years ago, she was transferred to a lower security center. Three months after that they let her go. Apparently the quacks thought she was well enough to be reintegrated.”
Micha sat perfectly still and didn’t say a thing.
“She killed herself, Micha. Jumped off a bridge six months after her release.”
A shudder ripped through her body as icicles formed in her stomach. “Are they sure she’s dead? Unless she jumped over an interstate I’m not buying it.”
He winced. “She jumped over the Hudson. They trolled the water, but didn’t find a body.”
She understood what Caleb was telling her. She heard the words, but she didn’t believe them. Trisha Jax might be crazy, but she wasn’t dumb, and she was patient. But Micha wasn’t going to let that woman stop her from living her life. If that woman came near her this time, Micha would shoot to kill.
“That news really isn’t going to help me sleep tonight.”
“Don’t worry. I have something planned for that.
You won’t be thinking about Trisha Jax tonight.”
She raised a brow. “Is that so? Maybe you want to give me a sneak preview.”
The smile he bestowed on her was slow and deliberate and devastatingly sexy. He knew his effect on women and her in particular. “Patience is a virtue.”
Micha chuckled. “In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t really have much of it.”
His grin was easy. “That had completely escaped me. You hide it well.” He sobered and leveled a gaze at her. “There was one more thing I came across when I was looking into your past.”
Her breath caught. He knew. It shouldn’t matter to her that he knew, but somehow it did. The knowledge that she hadn’t been the one to tell him stung. She folded her arms across her chest. “About me being adopted?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I’m guessing it’s not something you really talk about.”
Feeling too exposed, she wrapped her arms around her waist. “It’s fine. Ricca and Jaya know. It’s not like it’s a secret. My adopted folks died when I was sixteen. I lived with family friends until I went to college.”
Caleb lowered his voice to the same level he’d used in the elevator. Soft and soothing like he was crooning to a baby. “Is there any chance that someone from your adoptive family has an axe to grind? Did your parents have siblings or anything?”
“They had siblings, but none of them cared enough about me to take me in when they died. I doubt they’d go to the trouble of harassing me now.”
“What about your birth parents? Is it possible that they found you and…”
A harsh laugh bubbled out. “Considering that all my attempts to get the records unsealed so I can find them are thwarted, I doubt one of them has located me. From what my parents told me, my father was unknown, so that would only leave my birth mother.”
He approached her with an easy grace and unwrapped her arms from her body, taking both hands into his. “I have a few resources. Do you want me to do some digging for you?”
Hope was a dangerous thing. It leapt inside her chest and rattled around, begging to be let free. “It’s impossible, Caleb. I’ve been trying for years.”
“Then let me try. If I can find her, then you can take it from there. If I can’t find her, then you’re no worse off for me looking.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because it would make you happy.” He shrugged. “And like I told you earlier, I just want to give you what you want.”
Caleb started unbuttoning his shirt sleeves, and Micha gawped. Was he really going to go into his usual stripping routine? Not that there was anything wrong with that. Not like she’d mind in the least. But really? That was hardly fighting fair.
“Seriously, who are you?”
He ignored her question. “You know, Micha, I think I know what our problem has been for the last two years.”
Besides not taking the opportunity to screw like bunnies when they first met? “Our problem? I wasn’t aware we had one.”
He raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms. “Allow me to clarify.”
“Yeah, please do.” She couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say. Shit, she couldn’t wait to hear him speak period. His voice made her tingle in all kinds of unexpected places. And if he had a solution for a way to cure their chemistry and tension then she was all ears. She’d like to stop living on edge every time she was near him.
“You want to be in charge.”
She shook her head, and her ringlets bounced around her face. “That’s no revelation.”
“You also want to be in charge with sex. You want to initiate, you want to stay in control.”
Goosebumps rose on her flesh at the mention of sex. There was no way she’d be able to sleep under his roof and not have sex with him. The sooner she came to that realization, the better for her. Now that she’d had it once, her body wanted to do it again and again. She’d gone and broken the damn seal.
“Again, I’m waiting for the newsflash, Caleb.”
“I don’t think it makes you happy.”
“Say what?” When had he started smoking crack? “I’m happy.”
“Then why are you fighting me all the time? Shit, why are you fighting yourself? You want me. But you keep telling yourself you don’t want a relationship. You have this idea that if you’re not strong and not in charge it makes you vulnerable and weak.” He shrugged. “Until the other night, I was comfortable enough to take it slow. I know you want me. I figured it was only a matter of you figuring it out.”
“You’re cocky. You know that?”
“You want to deny it?”
Micha sniffed and crossed her arms repositioning herself on the couch. Hoping for an air of nonchalance. “Look, it’s no secret we have chemistry. I don’t thi—”
“Yeah, see, there you go again, trying to control the situation.” He shook his head. “I’m not going to let that happen anymore.”
“Oh really? How are you going to stop me?”
“For starters, I’m not going to touch you again until you actually ask me to.”
Micha scowled. “I tried that once, remember?”
Caleb’s voice pitched lower. “You weren’t asking me. You were trying to shake away some demons and demanding that I screw you so you wouldn’t have to deal. The other night at your place, it was the same thing. You simply came over and took what you wanted. You fuck the way you dance, Micha. It’s beautiful and raw, but goddamn, I think you’re going be happier when you let me lead for once.” He snagged a bottle of red wine from the counter and poured two glasses, then handed her one.
“Back to that, Caleb? Let it go already. I’m not used to anyone telling me what to do.”
“Why don’t you try it sometime? It’ll be less of a fight.”
Micha drew her head back to stare at him. “So what, you’re into bondage and domination or something? ‘Cause I have to tell you there is no way I’m letting you tie me up.”
He barked a laugh. “Not exactly what I meant, but the thought of seeing you in handcuffs gives me all kinds of ideas.”
Micha didn’t like where the conversation was heading. She stood to face him. She wasn’t ever going to let anyone restrain her. “No to handcuffs, unless they’re on you. And if you’re not into BDSM, then what are you talking about?”
Even now, as she watched his broad shoulders bunch and relax with each breath, he made her skin tingle. She wanted him. Again. But she’d be damned if she asked for it.
“What I mean is how about letting yourself be chased for a minute? Letting yourself be seduced?” He narrowed his dark eyes and studied every inch of her exposed skin, leaving it scorched and tight. “I’m saying, for once, give a little.”
Give a little, her ass. “This is me, Caleb. You’re not going to change me. Trust me. You wouldn’t be the first to try.”
He stepped into her space and traced a thumb over her cheekbone. “I don’t want to change a thing about you. To me you’re perfect. I only want you to give me a little...” His voice drifted off as he seemingly searched for the right word. “...latitude. Can you do that, Micha?”
His warm breath intoxicated her, and the spicy scent of him made her want to lean in and nuzzle him. He smelled that good. So damn good. She swayed, and her knees wobbled. He wants you to give in, Micha. She blinked rapidly. She wasn’t built to give. Just not in her nature. Hadn’t Simon already pointed that out once?
But he could make you feel so good.
He could also hurt her worse than anyone ever had if she was fool enough to let him in.
The practical and foolhardy sides of her nature warred it out. And he continued to softly stroke her skin. She wanted to yell that she didn’t need tender. Didn’t want it. Didn’t want soft words. Didn’t want the connection. But who the hell was she kidding? While insanely happy for her friends, she was also prone to moments of being bitten by the envy bug. Crafty little creature. Only bit her when she was home, alone, when she knew her friends were being trea
ted well and loved. She’d never been lonely. Not until recently. But she couldn’t give Caleb what he wanted. He’d hurt her. And when things went bad with them as they were bound to, she’d have to give up the only family she had. Ricca and Jaya would still love her, but they’d be forced to side with their men from time to time, and she’d be looking for a new place and new friends. And that would plain suck.
Caleb tipped her chin up, and his gaze pierced hers. His eyes were so dark she could barely see the green in his irises, and she wondered what he was thinking to rile him up like this. There was more than lust in that dark gaze of his. Oh, there was plenty of that. But something else too. Something needy. Something dark, and there was something achingly gentle.
“What’s the matter, Micha? What are you afraid of?”
Caleb’s voice lulled her into a trance, while his soft touch seduced her, forcing her to forget her name, where she was, who she was with. “Her brain struggled for the right words. “I-I-I’m not afraid.”
“Then what’s the worst that could happen?”
His head dipped, and Micha held her breath. Ready for the electric shock that was Caleb to course through her body, igniting it from the inside. But his lips hovered just over her lips. As if waiting for her to expose herself, and bare all. Show everything she had to lose. Stand naked.
She swallowed hard. Her shoulders rigid with tension, she forced herself to breathe. Deliberately she rolled her shoulders, like the shedding of her protective shell was a physical barrier she had to unstrap, unbuckle, and unlace to step out of.
Daring herself like he dared her, the little voice inside told her to let go. For once let go. She didn’t have to be strong. She didn’t have to protect herself. She could simply be.
Meeting his gaze, she held it. She wouldn’t back away, she couldn’t run away. For tonight, she could let herself be seduced. Let him take over. Let someone else be strong.
The breath she exhaled felt like freedom. It felt like bliss.
Chapter 18
Caleb studied Micha. She clutched onto her wine glass like it was a beacon for hope. “You good?”
“Peachy.”
He stalked over to her and lifted the wine glass out of her hands. “Let me take that.”