Skulduggery Pleasant: Midnight

by Derek Landy

  Skulduggery waved, and a light rain fell just over her hand.

  “No!” Cadaverous snarled, scrambling up even as the new hotel began to sprout.

  Skulduggery shot off his feet, straight into Cadaverous, who staggered under the impact. Skulduggery punched him, sent him reeling, but Cadaverous was regaining strength with every moment that passed. He got hold of Skulduggery and they wrestled, kicking up dust.

  Valkyrie hunkered protectively over the hotel. It was the size of an apple now, but soft. If they trampled it, they’d all be killed. They came close and she cursed, charged into them, managed to push them away.

  They fell, all three of them, a tangle of arms and legs.

  Cadaverous closed his hand round Valkyrie’s throat. It was like she was caught in a vice. Skulduggery fell back, swinging a kick that would have smashed bone into splinters – but all his foot did was bounce off Cadaverous’s jaw.

  Cadaverous smiled.

  Then the world was nothing but deafening thunder and apocalyptic earthquakes and Cadaverous released Valkyrie and she fell, hands over her ears, glimpsing the horizon shatter and the hand of a god pulverising mountains, levelling cities and filling the sky as it reached in and reared above them. And then the hand was falling, those impossible fingers curling, and Cadaverous shrieked as he was plucked from the ground, vanishing into their folds.

  Valkyrie glimpsed beyond the hand, to the shattered horizon, where she saw a giant’s eye blinking at her.

  She looked around at the growing hotel, still no bigger than a child’s lunchbox, and at her sister, who was reaching through its broken wall.

  Alice took back her hand and the god’s appendage withdrew from above them, taking Cadaverous with it. Alice came over. She held out her hand, showed Valkyrie the tiny Cadaverous Gant, lying helplessly in one of the creases of her palm.

  Then Alice looked at Valkyrie, smiled, and clapped.

  78

  Dawn split the darkness, and a new day broke across Roarhaven. Shadows stretched as the sun rose, and then shrank as it rose higher, feeding some warmth into the chill air. Sebastian arrived at Lily’s house before eight, but Tantalus was already there. Sebastian watched him through the window. Sebastian had already told Bennet and Forby about the fight in the tunnel when he’d handed over the scythe the previous night, but now Tantalus was telling his version. The other members of the Darquesse Society listened. Not one of them was arguing.

  It occurred to Sebastian that he needed them much more than he’d realised. Yes, Forby and the device were essential to his plan, but he was alone in this city. He had no friends. He had no one he could talk to. This group of oddballs was the closest thing he had to a family any more. He couldn’t lose them.

  Steeling himself, he knocked. Lily answered, let him in. He joined the others in the living room. Forby gave a little wave.

  Tantalus glared at him. The others looked uneasy. It was all very awkward.

  “Plague Doctor,” Tantalus said, “so good of you to join us. We’ve been talking amongst ourselves regarding your future with us. While we have appreciated your input and suggestions over the last few months, we feel that you may not be the right fit for our little group.”

  “Right,” said Sebastian. “I don’t suppose I get a chance to argue my case, do I?”

  “Let’s not make this any more uncomfortable than it has to be,” Tantalus said. “I think we should take a vote. Hands up, all those who think the Plague Doctor should be excluded from the Darquesse Society.”

  He put his hand up.

  Nobody else did.

  “What?” Tantalus said, looking around. “What’s wrong? Didn’t you understand the options?”

  “Hands up,” said Bennet, “all those who think Tantalus should be excluded.”

  All hands – except Tantalus’s – went up. It was so utterly overwhelming that Sebastian didn’t even have to raise his own hand. But he did it anyway.

  “You can’t be serious,” Tantalus said, his eyes wide.

  “We’re sorry,” said Kimora.

  “You can’t kick me out of my own group!”

  “Wait,” Ulysses said, “since when is it your group? It’s our group.”

  “It was started in my living room.”

  “That doesn’t make it yours.”

  Tantalus went quiet for a moment, then pointed at Sebastian. “He assaulted me.”

  “You attacked him with a knife,” said Bennet.

  “I didn’t! He’s lying about that! I didn’t even have a knife! He assaulted me!”

  “Why? Why did he assault you?”

  “He tried to kill me, because then he could blame it on the Cathedral Guards and he’d be free to take over as leader.”

  “You’re not the leader, Tantalus,” Lily said.

  “Then why does everyone do what I say?”

  “Because you never stop moaning whenever we don’t,” Tarry responded. “It’s an easier life if we go along with your stupid rules. But you can’t just attack people.”

  Tantalus folded his arms. “You can’t stop me from coming to the meetings.”

  “We’re not going to tell you when the meetings are.”

  “This … this isn’t fair. Why are you all taking his side? We don’t even know who he is! He could be the enemy!”

  Demure frowned. “What enemy?”

  “We have loads of enemies, you just don’t see them! Everyone is against us; everyone hates us! For all we know, he’s one of them! I mean, why won’t he show us his face?”

  “He can’t take his mask off for health reasons,” said Bennet.

  “He’s keeping his identity secret for a reason, you idiots!” Tantalus screeched.

  “We all have our secrets,” Bennet said. “I don’t mind that he doesn’t take off his mask. It’s kinda cool.”

  “I think it’s cool, too,” said Kimora.

  “I wish I had a mask,” said Forby.

  “Sorry, Tantalus,” Bennet said. “You’re going to have to

  go.”

  A vein popped out on Tantalus’s forehead. “You … you are all making a big mistake.”

  “Say hi to Wendy for me.”

  “Die, Bennet. OK? Just die.”

  Demure gasped. “Tantalus!”

  “Oh, shut up! For once in your life, Demure, just shut up, will you? Allow the rest of us the luxury of you shutting up!”

  “That’s no way to speak to Demure,” said Tarry.

  “Oh, here he comes!” Tantalus cried. “Rushing to Demure’s defence yet again! She’s never going to leave her husband for you, Tarry! She barely notices you’re alive!”

  Tarry gaped, and went bright red, and now everyone was arguing with Tantalus and Tantalus kicked over the coffee table.

  “That’s it!” he roared. “I’m out! I’m leaving all you losers behind! I hope you all die!”

  And he stormed out of the house.

  Bennet helped Lily right the coffee table as Tarry tried smiling at Demure.

  “I don’t … uh … I don’t want you to leave your husband,” he said.

  “Of course not,” said Demure, avoiding his eyes.

  Sebastian cleared his throat. “I just want to say … thanks for sticking up for me. I don’t have any friends in Roarhaven right now, so that means a lot.”

  “You’re one of us,” said Bennet, shrugging.

  Sebastian smiled. “Thank you.” He turned to Forby. “So was it worth it? Could you get any Faceless Ones’ DNA from the blood?”

  “I did,” said Forby. “Or what passes for their DNA anyway. It’ll take a few days to align the device, but we should be able to begin the search by the end of the week.”

  “That’s amazing news,” said Sebastian. “Any idea how long it’ll take?”

  “None. Not a clue. By my calculations, it should be able to scan up to six thousand dimensions an hour. That sounds like a lot, until you factor in the possibility of an infinite number of dimen-sions. I can adjust the search p
arameters as we go, but we need to be prepared for three possibilities. One, the search takes a day. Two, the search takes fifty years. Three, the search takes forever, and still doesn’t find what we’re looking for.”

  “That’s sort of depressing,” said Kimora.

  “Nonsense,” Sebastian responded. “It’ll just mean that when we do find Darquesse it’ll be even more astonishing, that’s all. I’ve got a good feeling about this. I think it’s going to work.”

  The others glanced at each other, and nodded to Bennet.

  “Will you be our leader?” Bennet asked.

  Sebastian paused. “Me?”

  “You seem to know what to do,” Demure said.

  “I thought we didn’t really have leaders, though.”

  “We don’t,” said Lily. “But we could start. So … will you?”

  He hesitated. He’d never been asked to lead before. This was a whole new experience for him.

  “Yes,” he said eventually. “Yes, I will be your leader.”

  They cheered, and Sebastian beamed.

  79

  Omen’s arm was bruised where Cadaverous Gant had grabbed him. Four distinct bruises, and a fifth where Gant’s bony thumb had pressed into his flesh. A mark of violence. A badge.

  Omen pulled his sleeve down, covering it, and went back to eating lunch.

  “Hey,” Never said, smoothing down her skirt before she sat in front of him.

  “Hi,” said Omen, his mouth full.

  Never applied a bit of gloss and smacked her lips before speaking again. “Listen … I was thinking about the babysitting thing, you know? I don’t think you should do it again if Valkyrie asks. I mean, she’s using you, isn’t she? She’s going off, having adventures, and she asks you to come in and take care of her little sister because she knows you’ll say yes. That’s not right. She’s taking advantage of your eagerness.”

  “I don’t think she is.”

  “Of course you don’t. She’s kind of your idol. When she was your age, she was going off with Skulduggery and saving the world and that’s what you want.”

  “I’m, uh, I’m not sure it is, actually.”

  Never raised an eyebrow. “Since when?”

  “I’ve been thinking about it, thinking about what she goes through every time she has one of these adventures. It’s not just a … a fun rollercoaster. People’s lives are in danger. Innocent people, sometimes. There’s blood and broken bones and you get hot and sweaty and you ache and …”

  “And it’s real,” Never said quietly.

  “Yeah,” said Omen. “It’s real. So, like, maybe I’m OK being who I am. Maybe I will leave the dangerous stuff to the professionals.”

  Never chewed her lip, and for the first time she looked up and met Omen’s eyes. “I have something to confess,” she said. “Um …”

  “You have a new boyfriend?” said Omen.

  “No.”

  Omen leaned forward. “A new girlfriend?”

  “No, not that, either. I don’t really know how to say this, so I’ll just say it. I’ve been … helping Auger.”

  Omen sat back. “Oh.”

  “They needed a Teleporter,” Never said quickly. “He told you about what was going on, didn’t he? With Mahala being possessed, and then Kase …? He asked for my help and, you know, what was I supposed to say? No? I couldn’t do that, so I … I helped out.”

  “Right.”

  “You’re mad at me, aren’t you? Oh, God, you hate me.”

  “I don’t hate you, Never.”

  “Yes, you do. You hate your gorgeous, glamorous friend Never.”

  Omen had to smile. “I don’t hate you.”

  “Are you mad at me?”

  “To be honest, I don’t know what I am. But I don’t blame you for saying yes. Of course you said yes. Who wouldn’t?”

  “I just feel bad about it. I feel like I’ve betrayed you or something. You wanted the adventure, and I went off on one and left you behind to, like, babysit Valkyrie Cain’s little sister. That’s hardly fair, is it?”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “You’re taking this really well.”

  “Is it over?” Omen asked. “Is Kase all right?”

  “He’s back to normal,” said Never. “The evil has been vanquished. Good guys rule. Status quo maintained. Auger’s waiting to talk to you, actually, but I wanted to be the one to tell you.”

  “Is it going to be a thing now? Are you, like, part of my brother’s gang?”

  Never hesitated. “I don’t really know. What would you think about it if I was?”

  Omen tried his best, but there was no way to disguise the sadness in his voice. “I’d be fine with it.”

  “We’d still be friends.”

  “I know that. Never, seriously, you don’t have to feel bad.”

  “Thanks, Omen.” Never watched Auger approach, and stood up. “I’m gonna head. Talk to you later?”

  “Sure,” said Omen, and Never walked off while Auger took her place at the table. “It’s like a tag team here.”

  Auger smiled. “How are you feeling?”

  “About Never helping you out? I’m fine with it. I’m not made of glass, you know. I’m not going to break.”

  “I know,” said Auger. “Hey, remember what we were talking about before, when you asked me who I wanted to be once the prophecy is fulfilled?”

  “Vaguely.”

  “I think I want to be normal,” said Auger. “I think I want to be like everyone else. I still want to be able to do the things I do, but … I don’t want the pressure to have to do them. You know? Is that selfish?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “It sounds selfish. If you have gifts, don’t you have an obligation to use them to help others?”

  “By that stage, you’ll have done that,” said Omen. “You’ll have beaten the King of the Darklands. You’ll deserve a quiet life.”

  Auger thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Anyway, that’s who I want to be.”

  “You seem almost cheerful.”

  Auger laughed. “I am, actually. Life after the prophecy was always just a haze for me – but now I can actually see it. I can see myself being happy.”

  Omen smiled. “That’s cool. That’s so cool.”

  “And it’s all thanks to you,” Auger said, “for bothering to ask a question that nobody else asked. Thanks, dude.”

  “Um … sure. No problem.”

  Auger stood. “Gotta go. I’ve got a test to study for. What’ve you got next?”

  “We’re actually going over to the City of Tents now with Miss Gnosis, so I’ll be missing double maths.”

  “Result,” said Auger. “Say hi to Aurnia for me, won’t you?”

  Omen smiled. “I will.”

  After lunch, Omen got into a small bus with Axelia and the other volunteers. The back seat was loaded with heavy cardboard boxes.

  “OK,” Miss Gnosis said, turning to them, “today we’re going to be handing out pamphlets containing phone numbers and websites that our friends are going to need when they move into their new homes.”

  “They have homes?” Axelia asked.

  Miss Gnosis smiled. “They’re moving into Roarhaven. The Supreme Mage has organised accommodation – she’s got people arranging training schemes and all kinds of wonderful things. They’ve got a home again, and I got a letter from the High Sanctuary thanking every one of you for your efforts in making the refugees feel comfortable and welcome. So well done, the lot of you.”

  “Do they even know what a website is?” someone asked.

  “Well, no, they don’t – not yet anyway. But that’s what the training schemes are for, to get them up to speed with our world. I’ll be splitting you into groups of three. The usual rules apply, got me? No one wanders off alone and everyone stays within visual range. Questions? No? OK then.”

  They got to the City of Tents, and Omen and the only other boy who’d volunteered, an American student named Navad
a Machete, unloaded the boxes. Omen was put into a group with Navada and Axelia, and they each took an armful of pamphlets and off they went. The mortals were busy packing up their meagre belongings, but they took the pamphlets because they dared not say no to a sorcerer. Omen tried offering a reassuring smile with each pamphlet he gave out, but he wasn’t sure it was working.

  A slender hand plucked a pamphlet from his grip and he turned.

  “What’s a website?” Aurnia asked, reading from it.

  “It’s a page on a computer,” said Omen.

  “We were told about those,” Aurnia said, “but we don’t have any.”

  Omen smiled. “Every house in Roarhaven has one. Do you know where you’ll be living yet?”

  Aurnia folded the pamphlet and put it into her jeans pocket. It was weird, seeing her in regular clothes. “Not yet,” she said. “But Supreme Mage Sorrows told us we’ll all be living in the same area. Thank you, by the way.”

  “Me?” said Omen. “I didn’t do anything.”

  “You made me an ambassador,” said Aurnia. “If I wasn’t an ambassador, I’d never have met Grand Mage Sorrows. She is … unearthly.”

  “I suppose she is. So, like … you’re moving into Roarhaven. We’ll be neighbours! Kinda.”

  “Yes,” Aurnia said, smiling broadly. “We have a new life here. I … I can’t tell you what that means to us. Our lives back home were … difficult. Bandits would attack, or sorcerers would arrive and destroy half our village just for fun. I thought that was existence. I thought my life was always going to be this way.

  “And then we came here, and we were terrified; we were somewhere new and scary, somewhere we didn’t understand. And then you arrived, handing out blankets, telling us that it was going to be OK. Thank you, Omen.”

  “I’m, uh, I’m glad I could help. Maybe we could spend some time together, y’know, once you’re in your new house and everything? I could give you that tour I promised you.”

  “That’d be nice,” Aurnia said, smiling.

  A moment passed, and Omen wanted to lean in and kiss her. He wanted to kiss her so badly. This was the perfect moment. He knew it was. He took a deep breath.