Fix Me

by Aubry, A

  “Yeah, I know that now. What about you? What went wrong with your girlfriend?”

  He pulled back and sighed, the large cloud that his breath made quickly floating away.

  “We broke up almost a week ago, she was cheating on me as well. Coincidentally, she also blamed my schedule.” He nervously picked at his coat.

  “How long were you two together?” I asked quietly.

  “Just over two years. What about you and your ex?”

  “Three, I guess that’s my unlucky number now…right?” I nervously laughed.

  “Three is my jersey number and my lucky number, maybe it could bring you luck now.”

  “Are you always so cheesy?” I looked at him and shook my head.

  “You know what? I don’t think I’ve said anything that cheesy since high school,” he chuckled.

  I thought for a second, “So, when you say your girlfriend blamed your schedule, did she mean during the season?”

  He shook his head no rather quickly, “She just started cheating on me I guess. About a month and a half, I believe was the final verdict.”

  “But it’s not even soccer season. I mean, it’s just going to be starting soon, so haven’t you been home for the last few months? I can see that you probably have practices but those aren’t 24-hour things.” I was already defending him, what the fuck.

  “Exactly what I said to her when I caught her,” he sighed again.

  We sat in a comfortable silence for a minute, watching the cars drive by. They probably thought we were crazy to be sitting outside, and at any other time I would probably be agreeing with them at this point. But instead, I found myself not wanting to go back to the bar with my friends, I wanted to stay and talk to Finn. Unless he actually was an axe murderer, then I’d be running for it.

  “Since you’re not like your friends, that makes you a serial dater…right?” I finally asked.

  “I guess you are right,” he gave a small laugh, “I was never for the one-night stands.”

  “Me neither, I can’t just go and have meaningless sex with someone. It wasn’t—"

  “How you were raised?” He finished for me, “Same here.”

  I looked up at him, mesmerized by how his chocolate brown eyes reflected the moonlight that shone behind me.

  “How do you feel about kissing right after meeting someone?” He asked quietly, leaning forward slightly.

  Sure, I had kissed a few guys on the first date, but never after just meeting them. That was, if you counted meeting them and talking to them online before you went out on the date. You still knew a lot about them before the date, so they weren’t exactly strangers.

  “I don’t know, I’ve never done it,” I responded, my voice just above a whisper as I watched his lips move closer.

  “Me neither,” he whispered before our lips connected.

  You know how in movies and television shows, they always say there is that spark that explodes when you kiss someone? That big ass zing that is supposed to take your breath away? Yeah, I had never felt that with Michael. But the second my lips met Finn’s, I felt like it was the fucking Fourth of July in my head. I could practically see the fireworks going on behind my eyelids once my eyes closed.

  Finn’s hands covered my cheeks as his lips silently talked mine into opening for him, his tongue quickly meeting mine and massaging it like no one had ever massaged it before. Michael was a loud and messy kisser, Finn was quiet, and his movements felt as though he was thinking about them, but he couldn’t have been. I focused on the way his lips felt against mine, they were pillow soft, and I just wanted more.

  He pulled back suddenly, my face still in his hands as we both gasped for air as we watched one another.

  “Wow.” Was all that he said as he tried to catch his breath.

  I couldn’t even form that word in my mind. My eyes were on his lips again before they slowly crawled back up to his eyes.

  “Can we do that again?” I finally found my voice. I sounded like a girl who had just made out for the first time ever.

  Finn chuckled, “Most definitely.”

  His lips covered mine once more, the fireworks igniting all over again. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I just met this guy an hour ago, and here I was making out with him on a bench near the bar. The fireworks in my head were distracting me while the pounding of my heart was telling me to keep going. No guy had ever made me feel this way, I always thought the movies were overplaying the whole magical kiss, love at first sight bit. But I wasn’t in love…there was no way that was possible. It doesn’t just happen in a snap like that.

  Finn’s mouth tasted of some flavor that I couldn’t put my finger on because my brain had fireworks launching left and right. Had he had anything to drink tonight? Was he completely sober while he was making out with me? When he told me he didn’t see anything wrong with me?

  Finn released my face and wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands linking behind my back as my arms wrapped around his neck, my fingers playing with the back of his hair. The kiss seemed to go on forever. There was no way to tell if it had been seconds, minutes, or hours since we had started part two of our kiss. My phone chirped with my text message ringtone. It was embarrassing, because it was Agnes from Despicable Me saying ‘it’s so fluffy I’m gonna die’. Our kiss broke apart as we both chuckled at the voice in my pocket, mine was more of a nervous one.

  “I love that movie,” Finn admitted. That’s it, he was fucking perfect.

  “Me too,” I smiled and took my phone out of my pocket just as Finn’s began to ding with his classic iPhone message notification.

  Angie: It’s been almost an hour. Proof of life.

  I giggled at my friend and her worrisome ways.

  Me: I’m all good, Ang. Finn is definitely not a serial killer.

  Angie: Nope, need more proof of life. A serial killer would text the friend saying that they aren’t a serial killer.

  Me: You need to stop watching NCIS.

  I sent her a few emojis, something we always did, and she agreed it was me.

  “Your friends asking about you too?” I slid my phone back into my pocket and looked over at Finn.

  He nodded, rolling his eyes at a text on his screen, “Yeah, my friend Bo thinks I ran away from the quote/unquote ‘hot chicks’.”

  “Sounds like a keeper of a friend,” I giggled as I stood up from the bench, the cold was starting to get to my bones.

  “He has his moments. Besides, I ran away from those girls to be with my own ‘hot chick’,” he made the air quotes with his fingers as he stood up beside me.

  “You think I’m hot?” I asked, actually serious about wondering.

  “I wouldn’t have made out with you on a bench on one of the busiest streets in Saint Louis Park if I didn’t,” he wrapped his arms around my waist again.

  I pursed my lips, this was all going to come to an end now, wasn’t it?

  “What’s going on in that head of yours?” Finn asked, his forehead resting against mine.

  “It’s going to sound really strange,” I avoided his question.

  “I like strange…”

  “When we go back in to our separate groups, this is all going to end…isn’t it?” I finally admitted as I looked into his eyes.

  “It doesn’t have to end here, if you don’t want it to,” he smiled.

  “Are you trying to be cheesy now?” I softly laughed.

  “Admit it, you’re loving the cheesiness,” Finn tugged me a little closer to him.

  “It’s really got me swooning,” I rolled my eyes playfully.

  “Well, I finally got you to swoon. That says something.”

  “Shut up and kiss me already,” I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed our lips together once more.

  Didn’t fireworks eventually run out of gunpowder, so that they stopped going off? Because the ones in my head were not quitting as the kiss continued between me and Finn, up until his cellphone chimed again. Bo was really adamant on get
ting him back to the bar. Finn handed me his phone on our short walk back while I gave him mine. We put in our phone numbers, exchanging phones once we got outside the bar.

  “Thank you for going on a walk with me, Julianna,” Finn opened the door for me.

  There was something about the way that he said my name that made my stomach flip. Normally I hated being called by my full name, usually going by Jules or allowing some family and friends to call me Juli. Somehow, my name on Finn’s tongue sounded perfect.

  “Anytime, Finn,” I gave him one last kiss before we walked through the second set of doors into the bar.

  We went our separate ways, but I couldn’t help but sneak a peek over at Finn and his friends every once in a while. Every time that I did, his eyes were always waiting to meet mine. This was like the movies said it would be. Girl meets boy after a terrible relationship, girl and boy fall in love, and they live happily ever after.

  Don’t get too far ahead of yourself there, McCall.

  Not long after, my friends and I finally left the bar. It was one thirty in the morning and I had a half hour drive home. When I pulled into my parking space, I slunk to my apartment, locking the door tight behind me. Suddenly, I was thankful that I never gave Michael a key to my place. The thought made me shiver. I went into my room and changed into my pajama shorts with cats printed on them and a tank top, before going into the bathroom to remove my makeup.

  With a clean face and my hair bunched on the top of my head, I plugged in my cellphone and climbed into bed. Just as I closed my eyes, Agnes from Despicable Me cried out loudly into my room. I nearly had a heart attack. Picking up my phone off my bedside table, I checked my text messages, Finn’s new message thread was at the top of my screen.

  Finn: Hope you made it home alright. Can I take you on a real date?

  Me: I actually just got into bed, thanks for disturbing me. Lol.

  Finn: It’s all about the timing, have to ask you while our walk is still fresh in your mind.

  Me: Don’t you mean our kiss?

  Finn: Maybe. So, what do you say? Dinner with me tomorrow night?

  Me: I guess one dinner wouldn’t hurt.

  Finn: I’ll make it worth it.

  Me: As in, you’ll pay?

  Finn: Why wouldn’t I?

  I stared at my phone with my mouth wide open. Michael had paid for our first date, mostly because I ignored the check when it came until he finally offered to take care of it. For being a lawyer who was rolling in the dough with his dad, he was quite the cheapskate. Now I just met Finn and he was offering to take me to dinner and pay? Was this real life?

  Me: Another thing my ex didn’t do very often, if at all.

  Finn: Told you, he’s a douchebag.

  Finn: Dinner date it is then.

  Finn: Pazzaluna in Saint Paul, 6 o’clock.

  Me: I’ll be there. Goodnight, Finn.

  Finn: Goodnight, Julianna.

  There was never a time, that I could recall, that I fell asleep with such a wide smile on my face.

  Chapter Two

  I opened my apartment door just in time for Angie to stride in. Up until almost an hour ago, I had been distracted with writing an article that was due on our editor’s desk tomorrow about the latest New York Best Seller and running my weekend errands. I only had an hour left before I had to be at my dinner date with Finn. Since the moment I woke up, I was in constant motion.

  Whether I was at the grocery store to buy my weekly groceries or my fingers were guiding over my laptop’s keyboard, there wasn’t a second in my day to take out my cellphone and text Finn, let alone spend too much time thinking about him.

  We had reached def-con five of emergency date assistance. I didn’t know what to wear to go on a date with this guy. My internet research on Pazzaluna told me it was a romantic, classy place and my nerves were bundling up suddenly because I had suppressed them over the course of the day.

  “Your fashion helper is here!” Angie held up her arms, playfully posing.

  “You seriously do not know how much of a lifesaver you actually are,” I said shutting and locking the door behind her.

  Michael had started blowing up my phone again while I was at the grocery store, begging me to let him come over to let him talk. I knew that he could sweet talk his way into the building by buzzing someone else to let him up, or finding another way, so my door was staying locked at all times. Angie made herself at home as she walked down my hallway and into my bedroom. I sat on my bed as she flipped on the light to my walk-in closet and began her search.

  “So, since Finn is taking you out on a date already, I take it things went well on your walk,” she teased as she sifted through my dress shirts.

  She shook her head and moved to my dresses. I hadn’t necessarily told my friends last night what occurred on mine and Finn’s walk. As much as I loved my friends, I didn’t want to be the gossip queen of the office for making out with a guy I had just met maybe an hour before. Especially after my boyfriend and I just broke up three days before the kiss took place.

  “Yeah, it went really well,” I blushed as my phone buzzed on the bed.

  I had turned the ringer on silent once Michael started to constantly text my phone. The obsessive buzzing I could deal with, hearing the Despicable Me line over and over was enough to drive you nuts after two consecutive times of hearing it. Yeah, I could change the ringtone, but it was just so adorable that I couldn’t force myself to do that. Picking up my phone, I expected to see the millionth text message from Michael, but Finn’s name greeted me as the screen lit up.

  Finn: I’m worried, haven’t heard from you all day. Are you trying to ghost me?

  I giggled at his message, my face spreading into a wide grin.

  Me: You can’t get rid of me that easily, Mr. Major League Soccer Player.

  Finn: I knew that line made you swoon.

  He sent an emoji with its tongue sticking out before sending one that was winking.

  Me: Oh, you caught me. I was doing such a good job of hiding it.

  Finn: Glad you admitted it. Will I still see you at 6?

  Me: Yes, you will.

  Finn: Good. See you soon, Julianna.

  Me: Likewise, Finn.

  I looked up from my phone to see Angie staring at me with a large knowing smile on her face and one of my simple black dresses in her hands.

  “I’m assuming that text message exchange wasn’t with Michael.” She tried to look at my phone, but I quickly locked the screen.

  “Why do you say that?” Standing up, I took the dress from her.

  “Because for the last several months anytime he texted you, you had an angry scowl on your face. Like you were gonna throw your phone across the room,” she picked up my phone, trying to unlock it but failed when she didn’t know my passcode.

  “And what was my face doing now?”

  “You had the cheesiest grin on your face. It was with Finn, wasn’t it?” I walked into my bathroom to change, leaving the door open so we could talk.

  “Yeah, he thought I was trying to ghost him because I hadn’t texted him yet today. I had been working on that article for Larry that’s due tomorrow all day that I just forgot.”

  “Nice goin, Jules. Does Michael know you’re going on this date?”

  I hadn’t even texted Michael back at all, “Uh no, why?”

  “He’s currently blowing up your phone with text messages. Asking you to meet him somewhere for dinner.”

  Slipping my dress on quickly, I looked at the way that the black material fell over my body. If I remembered correctly, I had worn this dress on New Year’s Eve and called it my funeral dress because that was the main reason I wore a black dress. Maybe this was going to change the way I viewed this dress. I walked back into my room, ruffling my hair to fall around my shoulders.

  “I’m just going to ignore his messages. I don’t want to distract from tonight by constantly having to check my phone. We are over, he just has to live with that.”
>
  Angie nodded as I sat on my bed and she did my make up for me to help me out. My hands were shaking slightly, and I didn’t want to make a mess of my eye makeup. Thirty minutes later, with my black clutch in hand, I hugged Angie goodbye and walked to my car, my black flats hugging my feet. Once I finally found a parking spot, which was nearly impossible in Downtown Saint Paul at any point in time, I walked towards the restaurant.

  Suddenly, I was feeling very nervous. Last night, and even during our brief text message exchanges, I had acted rather confident. The voice inside of my head kept telling me that this was all just a big joke on me. Someone who looked like Finn wouldn’t ever feel anything towards me. Damn, I needed to get that voice out of my head.

  I opened the wooden door that took me into the restaurant. Square tables with white tablecloths were all around the large room, the walls were dark and modern, and a large wood-fire pizza oven was visible from the open setup of the kitchen. Nervously, I walked up to the hostess stand.

  “Do you have a reservation?” She asked, her smile looking a little forced.

  “Um, I think so? I’m actually meeting someone here. All I know is that his name is Finn.”

  I sounded so lost. Maybe I should have asked him for his last name to make this easier on myself?

  “Oh, yes. He took a seat at the table already. Please, follow me.” She stepped out from behind the podium and led me deep into the restaurant.

  The lights were toned down to a romantic setting as we passed many other diners who filled the tables. All of the faces blurred together the second the hostess led me to a small two-person table in the back of the restaurant. Finn’s eyes were cast down on his menu as he nervously chewed on his bottom lip. I took the moment to really look him over. He wore a white button up dress shirt that was covered by a black blazer and I could tell he was wearing black dress slacks from his legs that peeked out underneath the tablecloth.

  “Mr. McAllister, your guest has arrived,” the hostess announced softly.

  Finn McAllister. Sounded like a formal name, even though the guy who had it was not very formal. He looked up at me, his eyes lighting up the second they met mine as a smile spread across his lips. Dismissing the hostess, he stood up and pulled out my chair for me before taking my coat after I unzipped it. Just then, he placed a light kiss against my lips in front of the restaurant full of people. I could have sworn I heard somebody gasp at the public display of affection.