Noob Game Plus

by Ryan Rimmel

  Chapter 47 – ‘Second’ in Command

  Lorraine hated to admit that the trumped-up Grebthar wannabe was decent at this. Nothing creative, mind you, but sometimes all you needed to do to pound a nail was hit it hard enough. It also helped when you had a damn War Badger that thought he was the real Badgelor. This badger was, frankly, doing a brilliant impersonation of him.

  You didn’t have to be a tactical genius when your center couldn’t possibly break. The massive, angry War Badger was smashing anything that advanced toward him. Halfway through the battle, Lorraine had started rotating soldiers behind Badgelor, allowing them to recover some Stamina. Nothing had gotten past the badger. Hell, nothing had even come close.

  As Lorraine watched, the undead horde took advantage of the elevation on the far side of the creek bed. They leapt onto Badgelor’s back and pounded on him for several seconds. As she watched, the badger’s Health bar moved down microscopically. While they attacked him, Badgelor laid waste to a half-man, half-bear, half-pig monster. Her troops hadn’t been able to even budge it, but Badgelor just rolled on the ground, smashing the monster with his bulk. He then resumed his advance, like nothing had happened. Just like in the damn stories.

  “If you think I’m going to kneel for you, fake Grebthar wannabe, you have another thing coming,” Lorraine growled, readying another attack.

  She had adopted fake Grebthar’s tactic of diving in and striking with all her power. Then, she would withdraw and allow her troops to advance. He was better optimized for mass combat than she was, but she was doing better than Nick. In her book, that was good enough. After the battle, she’d have to figure out what to do with fake Grebthar. That was for later, though.

  After her last explosive series of strikes, she took a moment to survey the battlefield. She spotted Merideth and her unit pushing forward, even as Nick’s forces stalled.

  “Getting bored back there?” chided Lorraine to her little sister.

  “Hardly, but casualties are starting to thin out,” Merideth retorted. That was somewhat odd. Normally, casualties were higher when advancing into the enemy. In this case, fake Grebthar had let the undead beat themselves to full death on the line before advancing. That was a tactic she would have to remember.

  It wasn’t a strategy that would work on a human army, though. A human commander would spread their forces out more and attempt some better flanking maneuvers. The undead horde was not nearly as smart, though. While some of them were crafty, like those feral ghouls, most just wanted to go straight for the warmest, softest flesh they could find.

  Lorraine had a few ex’s that they reminded her of. She looked over at Nick.

  She was a Duelist. It was a fact that her family had regretted, until the civil war started. Paladins and other holy types were a dime a dozen in Falcon, but a Duelist, optimized for one-on-one fighting, tended to win Battles, as she had known them.

  Now, Lorraine realized how short-sighted that was. Being able to win duels wasn’t useful when there was nothing to duel. Nick, for all his many, many, many faults, had the endurance she lacked. She was running low on healing potions and would have to pull back to her sister soon. Nick had been removing his injuries as they came, leaving him in an excellent position to continue grinding into the enemy line. If she wasn’t creative with her abilities, he would eventually outpace her. Lorraine’s dignity would absolutely not allow that.

  Suddenly, her orderly line bucked. A half-dozen of her troops went flying backward, as a massive monster exploded from the ranks of undead. Somehow, it had hidden in the mass of zombies they were grinding to a pulp. It was over twelve feet tall and humanoid in appearance, though its arms were too long, and its legs were too short. The most disturbing characteristic was its mouth, which went from ear to ear on an otherwise rotted human face.

  ● Gibbering Hulk, Boss

  Lorraine’s face paled. That creature was an actual boss, not just a commander. She didn’t have Lore and didn’t dare even guess at the creature’s Hit Point totals. That was the kind of monster that parties of adventurers charged into dungeons to fight. Yet, it was out here killing everyone, killing her people.

  Lorraine gripped her sword. She was one of the Four Sisters and the real commander of the Army of Calistoga. She was an adventurer, and her men were dying. She cursed herself for only bringing one vile of Divine Power potion. She could have sworn she’d left home with two. Shaking off her doubt, Lorraine charged the monster.

  Dodging between her men, Lorraine prepared a Felling Strike and aimed for the Hulk’s knees. If it couldn’t walk, it would be less of a threat. She timed the move to when both its arms were striking her troops. She disliked that. The creature was busy killing her army, but, at this point, there was little she could do about it. She inwardly vowed to ensure that their deaths would save the rest of the force.

  Then, she was flying through the air.

  ● You have suffered 87 points of Damage from Gibbering Hulk. Effects: Your left arm is broken.

  Lorraine landed, the fight knocked clean out of her for the moment. The Gibbering Hulk had been fast, much faster than she had anticipated. Her build was not capable of standing against him. Duelists were good for one-on-one fights versus someone of approximately equal skill. They were not good for this.

  Looking around lazily, she spotted Jerry rushing in. However, the mere aftershocks from the Hulk’s strikes were enough to make running a challenge. Jerry was not going to reach her in time. A massive Holy Blast, the best Merideth could manage in a last-ditch effort to save her big sister, exploded in the Hulk’s face. The spell only shifted the creature’s Health bar slightly.

  The War Badger moved toward her, leaving the center exposed. However, Lorraine noted that there were several ranks of spears there. The line would hold, despite the badger’s absence.

  Lorraine knew she was in trouble, but the impact had stunned her. For the moment, her reactions were kaput. The Gibbering Hulk was going to smash her, and she was going to die. A part of her brain was amazed at how calm she was about that fact. The monster casually struck away several of her troops that had formed a desperate bulwark to defend her.

  Her soldiers were loyal, and Lorraine realized she had done very little to engender that loyalty. In her last few moments of life, she understood that what Jim said was true. Lorraine had been playing at war, playing at being an adventurer, playing at life. She had been far too interested in the benefits of being an adventurer, caring not for its responsibilities. She had lived a thoroughly worthless life.

  No one was going to care when she died.

  She looked up, as the creature’s massive fist blotted out the sun. She closed her eyes, preparing to meet whatever came next.

  Then, Jim was there, standing between her and the Hulk. He was doing what an adventurer should do. He was standing between her people and an unstoppable monster, daring it to move him. Jim was a better adventurer than she was.

  The Gibbering Hulk’s arm moved so fast that Lorraine could barely follow it. It was like a tree trunk, whipping at such a high speed that you could hear it cut through air. Jim moved to parry the blow. She was right behind him. If he Dodged, she would die.

  Hopefully, she would make better choices in the next life.

  Then, the tree trunk limb swung at Jim and bounced off his sword with a mighty thunk. For a moment, Lorraine thought she had gone crazy. Then, the second gigantic arm flashed down and was, likewise, deflected. This time, a spray of black blood spurted through the air.

  The Hulk roared and lurched toward Jim. Insanely, he jumped into its face and executed an eight strike Hack and Slash. The creature stumbled backward, while Jim landed between Lorraine and the massive horror. His sword was back in the guard position.

  Suddenly, warm hands grabbed her broken arm, and the pain vanished. Lorraine turned to see Merideth. Her sister was desperately shouting at her.

  “Accept the party invite and get in there,” she screamed.

  Lorraine accept
ed the invite. It had probably been there since the creature was first spotted. Jim, the Curious Puppy, stood there, smashing away at the dungeon boss’s strikes. He was doing so with contemptuous ease, as his second in command was busy wool-gathering. She gripped her sword and screamed a battle cry.

  Chapter 48 – The Mighty Hero Stands Firm Against all Enemies

  “AAAAAAAAA,” I screamed, “What the hell am I doing? This thing is going to smash me into goo!”

  “Calm down,” yelled Shart, as I deflected another strike. I was combining my Parry skill with my Powerful Blow skill, more or less striking at his Powerful Blows with my Powerful Blows. After all, a kind of parry was just striking your opponent's weapon as hard as you possibly could, right? Right! Each time I parried, I felt it all the way down to my bones. On more than one occasion, only my extensive use of Mitigate had prevented me from flying off into the atmosphere.

  I activated Riposte again, slashing into the floor boss’s arm. Doing so shaved off another 30 of his Hit Points.

  ● Gibbering Hulk, Boss

  ● HP: 2272/2800

  ● Stamina: 422/500

  ● Mana: 100/100

  ● A Gibbering Hulk is created by stitching together many undead, until their minds collapse into a singularity. A Necromancer of sufficient power can control this merged consciousness. Forming the creature from many kinds of undead creates seams to exploit.

  One of the Necromancers had been controlling it, probably saving it as a trump card. I’d had him killed, proving that the Necromancer had no idea how to wage a battle. If he’d been smart, the Necromancer would have sent the Hulk straight at Badgelor in the battle's opening stages.

  “Maybe not,” stated Shart, reading my mind. “If a dungeon boss gets injured outside the dungeon, he isn’t going to be able to heal or repair himself. The rest of the creatures are easy to replace.”

  “If Badgelor had done more Damage earlier, could it have screwed up the Necromancer’s plans?” I asked, as another explosive blow threatened to send me flying.

  “Probably, but your earlier assessment that the Necromancer wasn’t a competent field commander was probably right, as well. He was using a Necromantic spell to control the undead, not the War Leader skill,” stated Shart. Suddenly, the Hulk twisted its arm at an unnatural angle and slammed it on top of me. He struck me with a tremendous amount of force, causing my feet to dig into the rock I was standing on. A circle of pebbles nearly five logs wide bounced into the air from the shockwave.

  “Come on, you fecker, show me what you got!” I screamed, in a half-hysterical fury.

  I realized I should have been trying to counterspell the Necromantic control over the army, but I had no idea where the Necromancer’s body was. The further away I was from the original caster, the harder the spell was to dispel. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do much outside of a very localized area. That was the kind of stupid thinking a man did, as a massive, twelve-foot-tall monster with arms like telephone poles was attacking him. A sane man would have moved out of the way. A smart man would have never been there in the first place.

  The Hulk launched two more tremendous blows at me, causing a Mitigate pop up that was horrible.

  ● Effect Resisted: Extremity Removal. You have spent 22 Stamina to resist having your hands torn off. You successfully parry the Hulk’s crushing fist.

  I hated this. I would have dearly loved to Dodge the strikes. However, if I moved, Lorraine was going to die. If she died now, I would have to make some hard choices regarding whether to save Julia or an entire estate’s worth of people. I wanted to avoid making choices like that.

  Finally, Lorraine accepted my party invite, so I could see exactly what she was planning. It was not smart. She had decided that I must be able to cover her and was going back in to try to cut the creature’s foot off. Because that had been so wildly successful the first time.

  “Wait,” I mentally yelled at her.

  The Hulk, growing tired of swinging at me, spotted her closing. He attempted to smash at her with his arm. I blocked it, slamming my sword into the limb in another fountain of blood. Unfortunately, that left the other arm free. It swung straight down at her in an arc that I couldn’t intercept.

  The fist hit hard enough to shake the battlefield. Miraculously, Lorraine’s Hit Points were unaffected. Glancing over everyone’s stats, I noticed that Merideth’s Mana had taken a sharp drop. As the Hulk pulled its fist away, I spotted Lorraine. She was squeezed inside a glowing pink orb that popped as soon as he lifted his arm.

  With both the Hulk’s attacks expended, Lorraine had a clear run. She executed a devastating Felling Strike into the creature’s ankle, leaving a moderately shallow scratch.

  “How did you know?” yelled Lorraine. “If I hadn’t slowed, Merideth wouldn’t have gotten the barrier up in time!”

  “No time for chatter! Aim for the seams,” I mentally commanded the party.

  Lorraine was already diving away, as another blast of Holy energy exploded directly in the Hulk’s face. The monster wheeled, trying to find the source of the blast. I spotted Nick, who was breaking free from his men, while I also looked for seams to exploit.

  I launched myself into the air and activated Falling Star Strike, descending on the Hulk’s outstretched arm like a comet. At the last moment, I infused my blade with a Holy Smite and smashed into the creature. The force, bolstered by Lorraine’s Divine Power potion, was incredible.

  The limb twitched, as fists full of flesh exploded from it. I had miscalculated. As the creature regained footing, it got its other arm around in an inhumanly possible position. The Hulk was going to smash me like a bug. Yet, even as I prepared an escape attempt, the creature suddenly staggered. The ground had exploded, as a furious Badgelor burrowed out from under it.

  The Gibbering Hulk outweighed Badgelor by a considerable margin, but Badgelor didn’t care. He aimed for the creature’s inner thigh, latching onto it with his powerful fangs. He was attempting to shred the creature’s leg. Now conflicted between me, the minor annoyance, and Badgelor, the mortal threat, the Hulk changed targets. He brought his fist down on Badgelor in a thundercrack.

  Badgelor’s Hit Points dropped a concerning amount, but not as much as the Hulk would have liked. Four or five more strikes like that, and Badgelor would be in serious trouble. Even as I thought it, a second strike slammed into Badgelor.

  By now, Lorraine and Nick had both closed, with Jerry close behind. They were all striking at the creature’s other leg, denying it the leverage it needed to smash Badgelor. I wanted a better option. Half the arms meant half the attacks.

  ● Powerful Quick Force Holy Thrust: Damage 102

  It was everything and the kitchen sink time. I dumped every spell, skill, and ability I had into a single Thrust. I was going to have to trust my Force to get the blade right where I needed it to be. Using my last Force Point with Thrust allowed me pinpoint accuracy and a bit of airtime. I felt my sword yank me into the air, as I rocketed across the field. I drove the tip of my Holy blade into the Hulk’s shoulder, next to where I’d previously hit him with my Falling Star Strike.

  By now, I had ravaged the Hulk’s arm. Merideth had dumped at least one long-range Holy Blast into it. Additionally, striking at Badgelor was like punching a heavy sandbag. The limb I’d struck cracked but did not break off entirely. Unfortunately, me having my sword locked into the limb gave the Hulk something to swat. He finally managed to brush me aside, sending me flying with his insane strength.

  Thankfully, I managed to do even more Damage when my sword tore free. I flipped three times in mid-air, landing superhero-style next to some of Lorraine’s soldiers.

  “Hello, there,” I stated.

  “Sire,” one responded. The rest were too busy staring in awe, presumably at the massive Hulk.

  “Have your spears ready. I’ll need them soon,” I replied and charged back toward the creature.

  Badgelor had suffered two more hits in the interim, and his Hit Points
were at less than a third. I was about to order him to let go, an order that, in his rage, he would have most likely ignored. However, Merideth cast a ranged Heal on him, bringing him to just over half-health.

  The Gibbering Hulk brought up his damaged arm to smash Badgelor again. As the limb slammed into my badger, it made a distinct popping sound. The Hulk’s shoulder had slipped free of its socket, but it had done so explosively. More shoulder muscle was torn free, as the bone popped out of place.

  With the other adventurers working on the leg, I spotted my opening. I yelled out, “For Wind and Windfall!” I never liked it, but it got the point across. Lorraine’s soldiers understood, and the front ranks screamed and charged, their spears pointing directly at the weakened side of the Hulk.

  The Gibbering Hulk tried to move, tried to cover its weakened flank, tried to do anything really, but it was no use. It got dogpiled. In a dungeon, this boss would have surely been terrifying. Out in the open and exposed, the dungeon boss was having problems. The Gibbering Hulk suddenly found itself beset by an army, an army that was supernaturally brave because of my Rallying Cry. They were all attacking him at the wrong angle for the beast to defend himself.

  Dozens of spears pierced the Gibbering Hulk’s side, causing thick streams of black gore to shoot out everywhere. Meanwhile, the Hulk was still trying, unsuccessfully, to remove Badgelor. The badger had changed his bite target from the thoroughly mauled leg to the creature’s remaining arm. At the same moment, the other adventurers’ investment in removing the Hulk’s healthy leg paid off. Jerry struck the final blow, severing the creature’s leg at the knee. The leg went rolling, like an obnoxious elongated bowling ball, knocking several soldiers down. The Hulk itself began to topple toward the army.

  As the creature fell, Badgelor managed some weird, badger Aikido move, causing the Hulk to flip over. The Hulk slammed to the ground with enough force to knock tiles off the nearby estate’s roof.