Noob Game Plus

by Ryan Rimmel

There were broad weapon groups and tight weapon groups. Each one of those had their own set of ranked skills that overlapped. If the had to choose between my Power Blow skill in Maces or Blunt Weapons in Cleric, it would just pick the higher ranked skill. This meant I had dozens of Powerful Blow skills assigned to as many weapon skills. Furthermore, the tended to be arbitrary, in my personal view, of which skill actually applied.

  For example, I had recently beaten someone to death with a ham, one-handed. I couldn’t use any ranks of Powerful Blow, because it was considered a Blunt Weapon and used my Clerical Skill. When I shifted to a two-handed grip, it was considered a two-handed improvised weapon. I’d picked up that skill while practicing with Glorious Robert.

  In short, I had ranked skills coming in from a bunch of different sources, and their variable ranks were eventually going to get me killed. I needed to learn how to manage them, preferably before they killed me.

  If Weapon Master allowed me to apply all my Ranked abilities to all my weapons, I wouldn’t need to train in fifty kinds of Powerful Blow. In a perfect world, my highest rank of the skill would carry over. I was even more optimistic about my talents combining. The skills tended to pool their collective experience together.

  Even better, Weapon Master removed any restrictions on weapon choices. Shart had assured me that a Path overrode any lesser concerns. Taking Weapon Master would prevent me from having my classes locked out due to weapon selections. My Marksman talent sure would have come in handy so many times on this journey.

  I selected Weapon Master and felt the first stirrings of power flow through my body. Badgelor promptly bucked me off, causing me to land face down in a puddle

  “No, leveling up on my back,” he stated.

  You suck,” I groaned, as the full level up washed over me.

  ● You have achieved the first step on your Path to becoming a Weapon Master!

  ● You have burned your Path into your soul. No other Warrior Paths are available.

  ● Your Path ability is now activated. Your Duelist tree has expanded.

  Standing up and spitting out a rock, I glared at Badgelor. “I was gaining a Path, you oversized throw rug, not leveling up!”

  “Po-ta-toe, po-tah-toe,” replied the badger sardonically. I grumbled and hopped back onto his back, landing far more firmly than was strictly necessary. The action caused me to slide right off and land on the ground again.

  Badgelor snorted. “That one registered as an attack, so my Loose Skin talent activated. Please, do be careful.”

  I was mature enough to know when I was beaten. I also knew that revenge was a dish best served cold. By this time, we had been walking all day, and I looked up into the darkening sky.

  “How much longer until we reach the temple?” I asked Shart.

  “Half a day,” replied the demon, “assuming the roads are still intact.”

  “And you aren’t being summoned?” I asked.

  “No,” replied Shart.

  Badgelor had already gotten the hint and walked off-road, shrinking to his bulldog size. Being well-rested granted bonuses, while being exhausted caused penalties. I was very nearly to that point after our eventful day. If I continued much longer, I wouldn’t be in fit shape to fight. Instead, I followed Badgelor. We found a safe spot just off the road, and I dropped to my ass and looked around.

  “No dinner?” I asked.

  Badgelor frowned. “I was eating on the road. I don’t know what you were up to.”

  I groaned and reached into my dimensional storage. Aside from the pile of healroot, which wasn’t good eating, I had some jerky.

  “We should have brought the eggs,” stated Badgelor.

  I rolled my eyes and flopped onto my back. Gnawing on the jerky, I continued reading my character sheet.

  “Everything merged as I expected,” stated Shart. Like we expected, really, but Shart being Shart was still a thing. I glanced through my stats. All my Powerful Blow skills merged into Powerful Blow 7. Quick Strikes was still at Rank 3 and would stay there forever, considering how many more points it needed to level.

  I was going to have to figure out what all the ranked skills were and pick up as many as I could.

  “My Marksman talent didn’t merge,” I said, realizing that its talent tree still existed.

  “I didn’t really expect it to,” stated Shart. “While everyone’s Path is slightly different, it would have been abnormal to merge two separate talent trees. You got an improved Duelist tree that covers all general melee weapon types. Don’t fret, all weapons are open to you now, including the ranged ones.”

  Opening up the Weapon Master talent tree, I was suitably impressed. Most of my talents had remained the same, but there were a few new ones that merited exploration. The talent list was vastly expanded and listed new talents, such as Bind, which allowed me to use my whip to bind someone at long range.

  As I thoroughly examined the talent, I realized it applied to much more than just whips. Any weapon that I could use to trap someone would activate Bind. I just needed to find a sword, like Ivy from Soul Calibur. Then, I’d be all set. Of course, I wondered if that sort of sword would work in real life?

  I know her armor wouldn’t have.

  I glanced through the talents and realized that I had three Talent Points to spend that I hadn’t before.

  “Those are from your weapon skills,” stated Shart. “You get a new point every time a weapon hits Journeyman, then again at Expert.”

  I only had Whip and Sword at that level, though several other weapon skills were approaching Journeyman. Club was incredibly close. Leveling these was something I could do. I’d just need to train with those weapons, an increasingly easy task, assuming I could use higher ranked skills to assist me.

  Selecting Bind was the easy choice. Besides the actual binding, it allowed me to more effectively use a whip to snatch objects. Next, I glanced around and chose Felling Strike. I lacked a straight out, high Damage attack, and that gap had become apparent lately. Finally, I selected the Twin Strike talent, which allowed me to use two different weapons at the same time.

  I was hoping that would be a good substitute for the Ambidexterity perk that I had gotten from my Adventurer class. I’d reclaimed that perk when I’d brought the class back with Shart’s help, but, if I Remorted again, I didn’t want to lose it. Remorting allowed you to keep your Path abilities, so I’d always have it from now on.

  Checking my other skills, I found that I’d increased the rank of Parry to Expert. That gave me another perk. Additionally, I had another Ranked skill there.

  ● Powerful Parry: You are capable of expending Stamina to block massive blows. Your current rank is 2.

  Having Ranked skills for Parry seemed useful, but that brought up the question of what other Ranked skills existed for defensive abilities.

  “How many Ranked Skills are there?” I asked Shart, as I leaned back against a stump.

  “Lots,” stated Shart. “I’d have to check the , but there are lots of them. They all have different unlock requirements.”

  “I don’t suppose you could just give me a list?” I asked.

  “I wasn’t really in charge of that, so no. If I ever get back to the tower, I could get you a copy. The real kicker isn’t knowing them, though. It’s unlocking them,” stated Shart.

  Thinking back, I wasn’t sure how I had unlocked Powerful Parry. I knew what I had been doing at the time, using Powerful Blow on my sword to strike at the Gibbering Hulk’s attacks. It had to have involved standing there and knocking those massive attacks away.

  “Is there also a level or class requirement for some of these skills?” I asked.

  “Of course,” said Shart, and I felt the console in my head start to warm up. “Let’s see here, for Powerful Parry it helps to be a dumbass. You have to have the Powerful Blow skill Rank 5 or higher and be defending someone else from a life-or-death attack.”

  “That doesn’t seem that uncommon,” I sai
d.

  “You also have to be a level 20 Warrior, 30 Warden, or a few other options,” stated Shart. “Your UnBound lets you avoid the level requirements.”

  I pondered that. There should be some skills with higher level requirements that I could unlock to give me a real leg up. I just didn’t know how to activate them.

  Thoughts for later.

  That left me a perk choice. I glanced through the menus, until I remembered another asshole and a bridge. I quickly found Parry Anything and selected it. That gave me the opportunity to Parry attacks I wasn’t necessarily aware of, assuming I had my weapon in the correct position.

  Hopefully, that would help me activate any Ranked skills associated with Parry, while protecting me from invisible attacks.

  Finally, I reached out for the weird, blue, stone icon and selected it.

  ● Checking for class eligibility:

  ● War Leader Rank Five? True.

  ● Army of Windfall includes at least 2 lieutenants and 8 sergeants? True.

  ● Jim has reached level 0 in at least 3 classes, one of which must be martial? True.

  ● Great victories vs. challenging odds while in command of Army > 3? True.

  ● All criteria for Tier 2 class unlocked.

  ● User has made a request for immediate level up in Tier 2 class. User is not in the Chamber of Souls. Searching for local Admin. Admin found.

  ● A nearby user has unlocked a Tier 2 class outside the approved area.

  “I just got an alert,” I said to no one. Looking around, I realized that time had stopped. This was not me operating on a quicker time scale than everyone else. Time had stopped entirely. I tried to move, but, except for slight movements of my head, I couldn’t. I sat frozen, and the prompt grew more insistent.

  I felt like I was standing in a meeting where someone had just asked me a question, and I wasn’t prepared. Worse, even though I was in stasis, I could feel something behind the prompt scraping against reality. Somewhere deep in the pit of my stomach, I knew that the had begun to take notice of this. The last thing in the universe I wanted was for them to be aware of me.

  I selected “Approve” within milliseconds, but I was confident that even that was too long.

  ● You have been approved for the Great General class! Please choose two stat buffs for yourself at the first level! Tier 2 Class on Tier 1 Body, consulting

  ● You gain the skill: Brass Lungs (Rare skill)

  ● Your Hit Point total is increased by 20. Your Stamina is increased by 20.

  ● Tier 1 Body upgrading into Tier 2 body.

  ● You gain 2 stat bumps. Base HP, Stamina and Mana increase from 20 to 40.

  I wouldn’t say I liked the words on any of those prompts. I slowly looked down at my hands and noticed that my flesh had become saturated with the same white energy that had made up Grebthar. Time stabilized, and I looked over to Badgelor in shock.

  Rolling to my knees, I tried to ride this dragon and failed. My world seemed to come apart. My Hit Point total began to fluctuate and then dropped rapidly. I desperately tossed two stat bumps into both Endurance and Willpower unsure of which choice would help me. My Mana dissolved, shoving me into a violent Mana Crash.

  “What is happening?” yelled Badgelor.

  “Jim is evolving into a Tier 2 human!” screamed Shart. “All of his vitals are spiking.”

  “Can you even do that here?” asked Badgelor, grabbing me by my head. “We are nowhere near a Chamber of Souls! Does he even have any Divine Essence?”

  “No! He should have gotten a prompt about it. Anyone sane would have refus...” Shart trailed off, mid-word. “Oh, no, Dum Dum. What have you done?”

  “His body doesn’t have nearly enough Mana for this!” exclaimed Badgelor, sounding more panicked than I had ever heard him. I could feel him heave my body over his, even as I also felt myself begin to implode.

  “What are you doing? Jim is going to die!” screamed Shart. “Do something!” Suddenly, I felt something wet slap against the side of my face. It smelled like vomit. My eyes zeroed in on a hunk of glowing white flesh that Badgelor was actively throwing up. Then, I saw a small shadow flowing through it.

  “Charles,” I moaned.

  “What?” asked Shart.

  “Yes, and don’t ask,” stated Badgelor. He grabbed the glowing hunk of meat and shoved it into my mouth. I tried to resist, as cannibalism wasn’t my thing, but desperate times called for desperate measures. The Divine Essence of Grebthar flowed into me. Whatever the Tier 2 transformation needed, it found it in that essence. My body flexed and shook for a long moment. Then, I stopped moving entirely, as my new body reformed.

  Right before I passed out, I heard screaming and felt searing pain. I was trying to block it, like I’d learned to do through the bond with Shart. I was lost somewhere, wrapped up in a tentacle cocoon of pain that was holding me tightly, despite my struggles. Still, my last conscious thought was of Badgelor’s warm fur wrapped around me.

  ***

  “And we are sure he’s alive?” asked Badgelor.

  “You’re bonded to him; you should know. He’ll be fine in eighteen hours,” replied Shart, before groaning. “Well, feck. We can’t possibly make it to the temple from here before moonrise. Not now.”

  “That assumes we leave from here when he wakes up,” said Badgelor.

  “What do you mean?” asked Shart.

  “I have an idea!” exclaimed the badger, his mouth turning into a terrible parody of a smile. It’s an awful idea. I have a wonderful, awful idea.”

  Chapter 50 – The Final Countdown

  Phillip sat comfortably, checking his gear. He’d crafted new arrows that were a far sight better than the arrows he had been using. Phillip had to thank O’Really for that. He had been getting sloppy and fighting that bastard had forced him to up his game. Not that it mattered much, now that O’Really was dead. Instead of fighting epic battles against great warriors, Phillip was watching Hardragon and Julia argue.

  There wasn’t much else to do. They were in the summoning chamber, which meant they were in a room with a large circle etched onto the floor. It was one of a few small structures on the roof of the temple. Besides walking over to check on the Dungeon Core or, more importantly, his laundry, Phillip had been sitting around bored for hours. The only interesting thing to do was watch the ex-lovers glare at each other.

  Julia sat, the collar forcing her to remain stationary, as Hardragon observed her. Despite the long hours that he’d watched her, the hatred still burned just as fiercely behind her eyes. Hardragon’s world burned in those eyes, but he stared back, convinced he deserved it. Phillip groaned. Leave it to Hardragon to get overly involved with a lost cause.

  “How much longer?” Julia asked.

  Hardragon finally had an excuse. He turned his head away and stared off into the sky. Phillip checked the sky for an entirely different reason. The orb of the pale rock was known as the Dragon’s Moon to normal men and Agons-Dray eft-Lay ut-Nay to the poets. Now that the sun was starting to fall, it would be in the correct position soon. It was almost time.

  The collar was at its maximum power, requiring Su-Kar to pour all her Mana Regeneration into it, just to keep it active. Even with Julia’s body imprisoned, the princess still had that same fire in her eyes.

  Hardragon frowned. It still hurt to talk, but he could speak in short sentences without experiencing utter agony. “Do you still think someone will rescue you?”

  “Yes,” she replied, watching the sorrow in his eyes be replaced by anger.

  “We are in a ruined temple in the middle of nowhere! Phillip sent every creature that moved through its first four floors to pillage throughout your lands. Do you think this is some sort of story?”

  There was silence. For the barest of instants, Phillip thought he saw the tiniest crack in Julia’s armor, the tiniest realization that she was doomed, the first
hints that despair was overtaking her. Alternatively, it had been hours, and Hardragon hadn’t succeeded yet. As the moment passed, Phillip stood up.

  “Sorry, princess, no one would wait this long to come rescue you. I’m going to go check on my underwear,” said Phillip. He strolled past Julia, who clearly saw that Phillip was wearing the top half of his armor but nothing else. Hardragon watched him go, as Julia’s defenses snapped back up. Phillip was Donald Ducking it, and, had there been a point to complaining, Hardragon would have done so. However, Phillip was Phillip, and Hardragon didn’t like arguing with brick walls.

  Su-Kar rolled her eyes, as Phillip walked right past her in the adjacent chamber. Technically, the leather skirt of his armor covered everything necessary. Unfortunately for her, the small cauldron containing his undergarments was sitting with his equipment. As he bent over to check it, she saw an eye so terrible that few could endure.

  “Please stop,” she stated, grumbling. She ceased her knitting, which was about the only thing she could do while powering the collar. She averted her face.

  “A man has to have clean unmentionables,” he chuckled, pulling out a pair of socks.

  “What I don’t get is why you have an Alchemist’s cauldron for washing your socks,” she said.

  “Hey, this cauldron independently heats and purifies each section of its skin. Whatever you put in dirty comes out clean,” stated Phillip.

  “And you use it for socks,” Su-Kar sighed. “I know a man named Jake who would pay a pretty penny for such a cauldron,”

  “Then what would I clean my socks in?” asked Phillip.

  Su-Kar considered that, realizing that Phillip would need clean socks. She nodded at him and continued knitting her latest masterpiece. Su-Kar had grown up after her last trip on the road.

  Before the last trip, they hadn’t known what absolute hatred was. Phillip’s disdain for Su-Kar had been a petty thing, a dalliance at enmity. O’Really, now there was someone to loathe. She smiled, looking down at her project. She was crafting a mask covered in fishhooks. She had planned to put a hook in each of O’Really’s eyes and pull them from his head slowly. She looked a little sad that she wasn’t going to be able to use it.