by Max Hudson
“I just came to buy a drink really, you do sell bottled water, don’t you?” I handed him one, trembling lightly, and as he grabbed it from me our hands brushed together lightly. The sensation that small action gave me had me jumping backward, like I’d suffered an electric shock. I stared at him, wide eyed to see if he’d noticed anything, but it must have just been me. Joey looked totally nonplussed by the whole situation.
“One ten, please,” I practically whispered, my brain still trying to figure out what that unexpected feeling meant. “Thanks.” I shoved the cash in the till quickly, my heart sinking at the thought he might be about to leave the store.
“So, what is it you do after work?” his tone was light and casual as he said this, but my ears pricked up regardless. Was this going to be about the surfing lessons again, or maybe something more?
My heart thundered in my chest and my mouth ran cotton-dry with fear, I fixed my gaze upon him trying to work out the loaded meaning behind that seemingly simple question, but his innocent face wasn’t giving anything away. Either that, or my brain was being too obtuse to understand it.
“I uhm… well, I don’t know really.” Cringe, utter cringe. Be cool for once! my brain screamed. “It all depends. Last night I hung out with Romi down on the beach, but tonight I don’t have much going on…”
“Would you like to come out for a couple of drinks, with me and my buddies?” he jumped in quickly, seemingly ignoring my foolishness. As he brushed something from his chest, my eyes were inadvertently drawn to his abs…
“Yeah, that sounds awesome.”
“You know The Fox, right?” he took a big swig of the water, and the image of him sucking on the bottle made me feel all odd inside. I wasn’t sure what it was about him that had me so intoxicated, but I just could not stop staring…
“Oh uhm, yes, although it was called The Bell before I left,” I finally made myself answer, moving my eyes away. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I so obsessed with Joey? It was starting to border on crazy.
“The new owner wanted to change it because he had the paranoia that people were calling it The Bellend.”
“Well, they were,” I shrugged and laughed, maybe a little too loudly. “But yeah, that sounds awesome. I haven’t been there for a while. Does old Tommy still work behind the bar?”
“No, didn’t you hear?” Joey moved so near to me that I could practically feel the hum coming from him, it was almost as if he was vibrating right through me. “He won the lottery, or something. Took off on a worldwide trip.”
“Lucky!” I exclaimed in mock horror, acting like I was jealous. I didn’t care though. I’d learned the hard way that money didn’t buy happiness. I wouldn’t trade the riches I had in New York, for the contented feeling that being home brought me.
“I know, right, anyway,” his hand touched my arm briefly and in that moment time stopped, the whole world stilled and all I could feel was him. I was aware of every single inch of him, every part of his body felt a little like it was mine. “See you tonight, at eight.”
Then his fingers were gone, and everything returned to normal.
Or as normal as it could be by that point.
“Yep, see you then.”
I sucked in a sharp breath and held it in as I watched him walk away, my stomach flip flopping the entire time. There was something about Joey, something very special…
The light in the store seemed to dull as he wandered through that door, the bright colors lost their intensity, even the window to the ocean wasn’t totally the same because the image of him wasn’t as clear.
Once the door slammed shut, I grabbed my cell phone, only this time with a new plan in mind. I deleted what I’d already written to Romi and started again. I couldn’t seem to act like a normal person around Joey, so I needed some backup from my new friend.
Maybe I wouldn’t give Romi all the details about this situation just yet, I wouldn’t tell her that Joey lit a fire in my belly that I didn’t totally understand, because I wanted to discover more about it first. I didn’t want her jumping in with both feet, making assumptions when I had no idea myself, but just having someone there that I knew, in and among a whole bunch of guys that I didn’t, would make me feel better about it. Romi, wanna go out for a few drinks with a group of people tonight? X
Come on, say yes, my eyes fixed desperately on the screen, waiting for her to reply. I need you to come, I won’t be able to face it otherwise. I got so worked up that by the time she replied, I jumped like I wasn’t expecting the sound.
That depends, who is it? X
I think it’s people who work with you at the surf school. Joey, something or other, and his friends X’
Suddenly, the image with Joey bringing a girlfriend to the bar filled my mind, and spiked a painful sensation in my chest. I didn’t want him to be with someone, I wanted to get to know him better! There was an odd possessiveness growing inside of me already when it came to him.
Ah okay, The Fox then, I take it? X
At eight, see you then x.
I needed to quiz Romi on Joey, without looking like I was quizzing her on him. I wanted to find out all I could, without raising any suspicions at all. I wanted to learn about the sort of person he was, how he was to work with, what he was like out of work…
God, I was pathetically obsessed, but I didn’t even care. This was the happiest I’d felt since finding Maria and Brad in bed together, so I was just going to go with it. It certainly beat lazing around feeling miserable about it. I was done with being the victim now, it was boring. What I wanted now was to move past what that woman did to me without ever thinking of her again!
Chapter Six
The red-brick, old-fashioned bar stood majestically on the shoreline, the one constant in an ever changing world. Maybe some of the branding was different, but that was the only thing. The windows still had that slightly dusty look, the garden area desperately needed a trim, the roof contained one or two broken tiles…but it was still The Bell.
Or The Fox, whatever it was called these days!
However, the familiarity didn’t help to calm me down at all. I wasn’t going to The Bellend to loiter outside with my friends from school, I was going to The Fox to see Joey and his friends. The situation was much more adult, which had my heart spinning anxiously in my chest as I neared. I knew that there was something going on with me, I was aware that my feelings toward Joey were more than just the level of friendship that I felt for anyone else – not that I’d admit it out loud – and I was very intrigued to know more.
“So, Marc is another one of the guys we work with,” luckily Romi was chatting away like crazy, and bouncing around like a blonde, excitable bunny. She was talking so much it wasn’t giving me too much time to get into full blown panic mode. “And he’s awesome, super-hot in a tall, dark, and handsome way.”
“So do you like him?”
“We’ve been hooking up for a while now, but it isn’t anything serious. I mean, he’s very cute, and loads of fun, but I don’t know if I want to be tied down. I’m still young…”
“Sure, sure,” God, how different her attitude was from the way mine had been. I leapt into commitment with Maria, without even considering my age. Maybe it was better to take Romi’s view on life. “I get that.”
“But I’m still looking forward to seeing him, tonight should be really fun…”
With that, she shoved the bar door open, without giving me a moment to catch my breath. As the warm blast of air hit my face, my eyes homed in immediately on Joey, as if he was the only person in the room. As if a powerful magnet was pulling me back in against my will once more. I smiled to myself as he interacted with his friends, his hair whipping around his head as he laughed. With the unlit log fire behind him, and the very old fashioned wallpaper hanging from the walls, he was like an Adonis among men.
Finally, I could admit it to myself that I thought he was incredibly good looking. That didn’t necessarily have to mean anything,
yet somehow it felt like a massive step…
“Hey, Joey, Brian, Marc!” Romi called out happily, running her fingers through her hair. She had a smile playing on her lips and a deep, dark desire in her eyes. I tried to follow her eye line, to work out which one of the guys was Marc, but it wasn’t immediately obvious. To be honest, they all could’ve been her type. “Anyone want anything? We’re heading to the bar.”
She grabbed my arm as they shook their heads, and dragged me along with her. “So, which one is Marc?” I hissed as my back pressed against the bar. “Except for Joey, they both fit the tall, dark and handsome description.”
“The one on the left.” As I glanced back at her, she had a flaming red face, which made me wonder how deep her feelings ran. Maybe she liked him much more than she cared to admit, and the whole ‘being young’ thing was just an excuse.
I wanted to ask her, but I wouldn’t tonight. I’d do it when we were by ourselves, when she could be more honest with me. For now, I would just try to work out how he felt about her, so I could give my honest opinion when we tackled the subject.
“Come on, let’s go.”
My suspicions were confirmed as we sat at the deep mahogany table with drinks in our hands, and I watched Romi sidle up next to Marc, practically wrapping her body around him. She was in love…or somewhere close. However, that left me with the last chair, which was positioned right next to Joey, which thrilled and terrified me in equal measures. I hadn’t been prepared for this much close contact with him! As his knee brushed against mine, I wasn’t totally sure that I could handle it.
“Hey,” he sounded genuinely happy to see me, which made it even worse. “How’s it going, Flint?”
Oh God, would hearing him say my name always affect me like that? “Yeah, I’m good, how are you?”
“Better,” he nodded and sipped his drink. “It’s really good to see you.”
The buzzing was back, my nerves were itching, on edge. Everything about being next to Joey made me happier than ever before, and I felt like I was going to have to have a few drinks if I was going to get through this night with my dignity intact…
***
“Oh my God, are you serious?” I laughed loudly, the sound booming from my chest. I was having so much fun with these guys, the best that I’d had in ages, and it was such a freeing feeling. I loved every single second of it. It was as if I could feel the me that I’d shut down to go to New York coming right back.
“Yeah, but it didn’t matter, I was about to leave that job anyway.” Brian chuckled along with me. “The boss was an asshole, so he deserved what he got.”
“Well, I’m certainly glad,” Joey interjected. “Because that brought him to work with me and Marc at the surf school.”
We both turned our heads slightly to look at Marc, but there was no getting any communication out of him right now. He was far too… involved with Romi to even notice we were there. Hopefully that meant what they had was an equal, two-way street.
“I’m still not totally sure that I believe you, Brian…” I suddenly realized that I was speaking to the back of Brian’s head as he stood up to talk to someone else, completely forgetting that I was even there.
“Don’t worry, he does that a lot,” Joey told me kindly, not even giving me a chance to feel bad. “As soon as he’s had one too many he just forgets that he’s in the middle of talking to people.”
“Well, your friends are nice people, thanks for inviting me out, I really do appreciate it.” I was a little tipsy, my lips felt a little loose, so I knew that I needed to keep a check on myself. Especially if I was being left alone with Joey!
“I’m just grateful that you came. You’ve made the night really fun.” He paused thoughtfully and I watched in awe as he bit down on his lip. The more alcohol flowed through my system, the more I seemed willing to admit to myself that I wanted to reach out and touch those lips, just to feel them… “Can I ask you something?”
Oh shit, had I been caught staring? I shifted awkwardly in my seat and flicked my eyes downwards. “Uhm, yeah sure, what’s that?” A million and one potential questions flowed through my mind, none of them that I particularly wanted to answer, but he didn’t ask any of them.
“Why did you really move back here?”
“Uhm… to be close to the ocean?” My shoulders shrugged as I gave him a cheeky smile. Of course he knew that wasn’t really the case, but I couldn’t tell him the whole sorry tale, could I? Maybe it’d help him understand me better, and in my intoxicated state I felt like I wanted to unload just a little. “Okay, I’ll tell you,” I sighed deeply, giving in way too easily. “I gave up my life in New York, because I wasn’t really happy there. I had a job as a banker, I spent most of my life on the subway, and I had a girlfriend whose tastes were much too expensive for what I could provide.”
“Woah,” Joey looked totally taken aback. “I cannot imagine you as that guy at all. That just seems so different from who you are now! I can’t see you on the subway, in an office, buying expensive stuff… it just doesn’t seem very you.” He barely knew me, we’d only met a couple of days ago, yet he seemed to understand more about me than anyone else did.
“I know, it wasn’t me at all. I only did it because I was in love… or, at least I thought I was.” As I thought back to that dreaded moment, there was a dullness to the memory. Somewhere along the line the sharp pain had been stripped away from it, and that fact came as a surprise. “But I guess I’d still be there if she hadn’t cheated on me.”
“So, in a way she did you a favor,” Joey grinned in a matter of fact manner. “Here has to be better than New York.”
“Oh it sure is. How can you get better than this!”
“Now we just have to get you back out on the water, and everything will be okay,” he stood up, without giving me a chance to say anything. “I’m getting another drink, want one?”
“Uhm, yeah, sure thanks.”
While he walked up to the bar, my mind raced. If anyone had the power to make me do things that I wasn’t sure about, I had the feeling it’d be Joey. He had a charisma that I couldn’t seem to resist.
“Hey, Flint,” Romi’s voice suddenly caught my attention. “We’re off, but I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” she threw her arms around me, and I held her close for a second. “Thanks for tonight, it’s been fun.”
I wanted to keep hold of her, to whisper some of my innermost thoughts to her to get some advice, but I couldn’t, it wasn’t the time. She had her own love life dramas to keep her occupied.
“Have fun, okay, speak soon.” Then she left, arm in arm with Marc, still bouncing like a crazy bunny.
“Oh, is it just us now?” Joey asked as he rejoined the table, looking kinda pleased at the thought of being alone with me. “Do you wanna have just this one more and go home?”
“Sounds good,” I smiled thinly. I was getting tired, but at the same time I wasn’t anywhere near ready for the night to end. I was just going to have to make this last drink go down very slowly…
Chapter Seven
“So, I guess this is me.” The atmosphere surrounding my parents’ home was oddly serene for this time of night. “Or more, it’s Mom and Dad’s house, because I have nowhere else to go.” I was trying to make a joke in bad taste about my crappy situation, but it came out a little more bitter than I intended.
“Of course,” Joey clucked his tongue with mock disapproval. “Cheating ex-girlfriend, life crashing down around you, I remember now.”
“Exactly,” I chuckled, glad that at least one of us was seeing the lighter side of things. “Yep, that’s me.”
“Are your parents home right now?”
“No, luckily they’re away on a cruise at the moment, so I can have some peace while I’m here.”
I glanced back at the obscenely white building, noticing a quaintness to it that hadn’t been there before. It wasn’t as large and daunting as I’d always assumed, it was sweet and surrounded by an aura of love.
“Here, give me your number,” I gave him my cell phone before I could think any better of it. As he typed in his digits, an excitement grew inside of me at the prospect of being able to actually call or text him if I wanted. “Thanks.”
“Did you give any thought to what I said to you?” he asked curiously. “About getting back out on the water? I mean I know you said no before but… well, I guess I just really want you to change your mind.”
“Why?” I felt compelled to ask. “Why is it so important to you? Why do you even care?”
“I’ve seen it so many times,” he folded his arms across his chest and narrowed his eyes a little at me. “People have accidents, just the one, in the millions of times they go out on the ocean, and they give up because of it.” I was stunned into silence. It wasn’t just me that overreacted in such a way? That made me feel a little better about myself. “It’s a shame to lose something you love. Yes, the water can be dangerous, which is why it’s always better to go out there with someone by your side, but it’s sad to give it up completely.”
Oddly, his words made my feet itch in a very unexpected way, I felt a pull deep in my chest. He was right, it was a shame, but sometimes things were too hard to overcome.
“Maybe,” I eventually replied evasively. “Yeah, we’ll see. I mean it’s hard for me, because I nearly died, it was really bad, but maybe I could try again.” I was just putting him off, I wasn’t really considering it…was I?
“Good, that would be awesome.” He got a bit too excited by that, it made me regret my words entirely. “I would love to help with that. If you’d let me. I know what you went through sucked, but it isn’t the end all, be all. You can do it again; I promise you that much.”
He leaned in, almost a little too close, making my heart rate flip right out. Was he about to kiss me? Despite having never found myself attracted to a guy before, I wanted his lips to connect with mine…