Capture the Wind for Me

by Brandilyn Collins

  “Hi,” I replied, distracted.

  “Looks like you’re on a mission.”

  Was I that obvious? “Oh. I was just . . .” My hand waved vaguely in Greg’s direction. Derek followed with his eyes until they landed on Greg. Understanding and disappointment rippled across his face.

  “Well.” He jerked his head sideways. “See ya later.”

  “Okay.” I wound past him to Greg, who raised his hand to take mine as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I felt a blush all the way to my toes as Grandma’s eyes darted from that hand to me and back. In Bradleyville, couples our age didn’t hold hands in church; it just wasn’t done. I slipped my fingers into his for an awkward shake, then pulled away. He cast me a perplexed look, then slowly lowered his hand. Grandma Delham, bless her, made a point to turn away and make small talk with Mr. Matthews.

  “Will you come sit with me?” I whispered.

  “Of course.”

  I leaned in as close as I dared. “You can’t hold my hand here, okay? The old people would talk.”

  He raised his eyebrows in surprise. I wondered how it would be if we were in Greece. Maybe in his own church, the old folks wouldn’t care a bit. Greg would probably sit in church with his arm around me if I allowed it.

  Wouldn’t that just do it, I thought. Not a person behind us would hear a word of the sermon. Not to mention Daddy would have my head.

  As it happened, for the second Sunday in a row, I heard little of the sermon myself. I was far too busy just sitting next to Greg, feeling his presence, watching the way he rested his hands on his knees, hearing him sing the hymns. Church will never be the same after this, I thought, never, ever. Every movement of his fingers, every shifting of his position, pulled at me. I wished for all the world we were alone, and he could put his arms around me and kiss me. That we could sit in the car again after dark, hearing the crickets chirp and the creek tumble, and I could lay my head on his shoulder.

  One other thing I remember so clearly about that church service. The unmistakable hurt on Derek’s face when he glanced around and saw Greg and me together. Really, sitting next to Greg, it’s amazing I noticed at all. But in order to see me, Derek had to purposely look over his shoulder. Our eyes caught for a second before he pulled his away, mouth flinching. At the time, I felt too caught up in Greg to think much about it. But now the memory pangs me, like bittersweet candy on the tongue.

  After the service Greg found himself surrounded once again, this time by my friends, who practically salivated as they asked him a dozen questions about Greece. I caught their envious glances as I stood next to him, oh, yes, I did. I almost wished Millicent attended our church, just to show her I could attract someone like Greg. But then, they didn’t know I had, did they? They probably thought he was with me merely because of Katherine.

  Suddenly, I wanted them to know. If only he’d reach for my hand now, I thought. My friends would fall over dead, every one of them.

  Alison and Jacob joined us, and I introduced them to Greg. Derek walked between two pews in an obvious detour to head for the door. He did not so much as glance at me.

  Greg and I needed to get going. The sanctuary had nearly emptied. Both our families already stood outside, chatting in the parking lot. I peeked through the open doorway. Daddy appeared in deep conversation with Mr. Matthews, one hand on his chin. Celia talked with Katherine and Miss Jessie. The expression on Celia’s face, the way her hand lay so familiarly on Miss Jessie’s arm, spoke of a deep friendship.

  “My aunt and uncle went to Greece one time,” Nicole was saying, then gabbed merrily along about how they’d raved over Athens, and did Greg ever go to the Acropolis, or was that just a tourist thing? And what did he do for hobbies, and what was school like, did he learn English there?

  Before I lost my courage, I leaned into Greg’s ear and whispered. “You can hold my hand now.”

  The minute the words were out, I felt like an idiot. Greg would see right through me. What was he, my prize to show off to all my friends? I stepped back, casting about for some action to cover my embarrassment. Nicole’s mouth never stopped running. I reached out to Cherise and fingered the stitching on her new purse. “This is nice.” She hardly heard me, her eyes on Greg.

  He grinned good-naturedly at the rush of questions, his focus still politely on Nicole. Acting as if I’d not whispered a thing.

  “Yes, we learn English in school,” he replied, “and another language like German or French or Italian.” He proceeded to answer Nicole’s other questions, vaguely saying he liked music. And then without the slightest break in his words, he reached out and took my hand, as if we’d done it a million times. I watched my friends’ eyes widen, including Alison’s, their gazes dropping, then springing up again for fear they’d be caught staring. I hoped my throbbing heart wouldn’t jump right out of my chest.

  After a few minutes we really did have to leave. Greg wisely dropped my hand before we stepped outside. I told him I would ask Daddy about seeing him that afternoon. After apologizing to Daddy, I’d had no more time to talk to him before church, with the usual commotion of getting myself and the kids ready. Amazing that I’d faced the typical drudge of a Sunday morning, after my evening with Greg. The world should have been anything but typical. It should be shining in brilliant, panoramic color.

  “Hope he says yes,” Greg told me with an enigmatic smile. “I know where we can go.”

  chapter 29

  So much for panoramic color. Katherine went home with us for lunch—our big meal of the day on Sundays—and reality soon came crashing around my shoulders. I still did not trust her one bit even though, after the previous night, I couldn’t deny my gratitude that she’d put me and Greg together. Lunch proved a rather interesting venture. For self-serving reasons, I did my best to act glad of Katherine’s presence. Couldn’t afford to get Daddy upset with me again. Our family made sure to talk about anything and everything but Friday night, finally landing on the subject of Alma Sue. Who, by the way, still hadn’t apologized for the soggy coloring book.

  “I haven’t seen her around here much,” I commented to Clarissa. Not that I was sorry.

  “She’s been sick with a cold.”

  “Oh. How nice.”

  “Jackie,” Daddy frowned as Katherine repressed a smile.

  A canine nose stuck furtively around the dining room corner. “Winnie,” I said sharply, “we’re still eating. Go lie down.” The nose disappeared. We could hear Winnie’s sigh all the way from the hall as she cast her miserable, lonely self upon the floor.

  Back to Alma Sue. “Well, I don’t like her at all,” I said, “and one of these days I’m going to give her a piece of my mind. Since you won’t,” I added with a meaningful glance at Clarissa.

  “I don’t want to give her a piece of my mind, and I don’t want you to, either,” Clarissa retorted. “I just want her to be my friend.”

  “Why? She doesn’t treat you very nicely.”

  “Because . . .” Clarissa chased peas around her plate. “Just because.” “Della’s your friend, you could play with her.”

  “I want to be friends with everybody,” Clarissa burst. “I just want everybody to like me!” Her eyes glistened.

  Whoa. What was up with this?

  “Clarissa,” Katherine soothed, “everybody does like you. Very much.”

  My sister said no more, her attention focused on the last pea on her plate. Evidently, it was a very important pea. She and I would have to talk about this later. Clarissa’s need for acceptance should not relegate her to a doormat for the likes of Alma Sue. I thought of Charlotte, how Greg had ever so politely put the haughty girl in her place. I doubted my emotions-on-the-sleeve sister would ever possess such subtlety. But for Alma Sue and all the oppressive people in Clarissa’s future that she represented, a little lack of subtlety would be just fine with me.

  “So.” Daddy hit the table with drumming fingers. “Jackie, how was your date?”

  Wond
erful. I got to discuss my first date with my entire family. “Good.”

  Robert eyed me with interest, which surprised me. I didn’t think he cared much about first dates. “Where did you go?” he asked.

  “Clayton’s Place.”

  “Clayton’s Place, my, my,” said Katherine. She and Daddy exchanged impressed glances.

  “What’s so great about it?” Robert wanted to know.

  “It’s expensive.” Katherine whispered in a conspiratorial tone. “The most expensive restaurant in Albertsville.”

  “Greg’s probably rich.” Clarissa seemed very pleased at the thought, as if somehow the money might trickle her way.

  “I don’t think he’s all that rich yet,” Katherine told her. “His group’s just getting started.”

  “Well, then, he will be.”

  “Why’d he take you to such an expensive place?” Robert asked.

  I could have strangled him. Why was he so talkative all of a sudden? “Guess he just wanted to.”

  “Whatdja have for dessert?” Clarissa, ever the sweet-minded.

  “Um. Nothing.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because we . . . left before that.”

  “Why?”

  I turned on her, air puffing from my mouth with annoyance. “What is this, twenty questions? We left because we wanted to, that’s all.”

  Katherine and Daddy eyed me, clearly suspicious of the parts I’d left out. Fine, they could think what they wanted. I hardly cared to detail the wiles of stupid Charlotte to my entire family.

  “Just so you had a good time.” Katherine shook her head the slightest bit to Daddy, as if to say, Don’t press her, this is girl stuff.

  I felt grudgingly grateful for her tact, even as I told myself it was just one more way she worked to regain my trust. Which she didn’t deserve.

  Later, as we cleared the table, Daddy told me he wanted to take Katherine out for a drive. They’d had little time to be alone since Friday night, he added, and they needed to talk.

  Translation: I had to stay with the kids.

  “But I wanted to go out with Greg!” I set dirty plates on the counter. “We’ve only got today and tomorrow and then he’s gone. You and Katherine have lots of time.”

  Katherine entered the kitchen, dirty plates in each hand. Upon hearing the gist of the conversation, she laid the plates in the sink and left. “Clarissa,” I heard her call, “why don’t you show me another game on your computer?”

  Winnie shuffled underfoot, ears up, hoping for scraps. “Will you get out of the way,” I complained. “Come here.” I walked to the open sliding glass door and pulled back the screen. “Go outside.” Winnie withered me with a look—how can you take your troubles out on your ever-faithful dog?—and slunk out.

  “We’ve had very little time,” Daddy said quietly, not wanting his voice to travel.

  “But she’ll still be here after Greg—”

  “Wait a minute, what exactly is happening here?” Daddy faced me, arms folding. “When we talked about this last week, we agreed you were just goin’ to meet him, remember? Just get to know him a little? Now at lunch you’re vague about your date, plus you’re wanting to see this boy again today and apparently tomorrow.”

  Here we go again. I leaned against the counter, searching for words. Was this still just because Greg was Danny Cander’s brother?

  “We talked about this, Jackie,” Daddy said almost pleadingly. “About the fact that Greg would not be here long, that I didn’t want you to put too much stock in his visit.”

  Put too much stock in it? What was Greg, the bank? “Daddy, I just want to see him while I have the chance.”

  “He’s leaving, Jackie.”

  “I know that, Daddy,” I cried, “that’s just the problem!”

  His shoulders drooped. He regarded the floor, mouth pulled in at the corners. “I knew this would happen,” he said half to himself. “I never should have let you meet him.”

  Well, it was a little late now.

  “You really like him, I suppose.”

  The way he said it, as if I’d betrayed him somehow. As if this had anything to do with years ago, when he’d lost his first love to someone else.

  Which, let us not forget, had resulted in his marrying Mama.

  Daddy looked at me, awaiting an answer.

  I could not see then what I see now—that Daddy’s feelings had far less to do with resentments from the past than concern for the future. Plain and simple, he didn’t want me to be hurt. Not to mention his own side of things. I didn’t realize just how much Daddy still had to work through with Katherine. Not a good time for me to face problems in my own love life. As far as he was concerned, our household already had enough to deal with.

  All I knew was that Greg would be gone in two days. And the thought of not seeing him before he left was more than I could bear.

  “Yes, I do like him, Daddy. And believe it or not, he likes me, too. And when he goes, I’ll be sad about it. But let me tell you what else I’ll be. I’ll still be the one who helps take care of the kids, especially while you’re out with Katherine.” My voice turned brittle. “Who does the laundry and the cleaning. I’m not goin’ to stop doin’ all the things you count on me for. In other words, I promise not to be a problem. Okay?”

  Briefly, Daddy closed his eyes. “Jackie.” He touched my cheek with one curved finger. “You think I’m worried about your chores? I’m worried about you.”

  “I can handle me just fine. I always have.”

  Daddy’s hand fell away. He nodded.

  “Do you not trust me, is that it?” I wondered aloud.

  “Of course I trust you. You’ve given me no reason not to.”

  “Then what is the problem? Greg is very nice and respectful to me. If you trust me, you can believe me when I tell you that.” Not to mention Greg had shown nothing but generosity and circumspection when Katherine’s ex had burst through our door.

  “I’m only trying to protect you,” Daddy replied. “I don’t want to see things go terribly wrong in your life so soon after you’ve started dating.”

  “Like I said, I’ll be fine. Please believe that.” I didn’t believe it at all, but I’d worry about that when Greg was gone. Right now nothing mattered but being with him. I sighed in frustration. “I know what we can do. Let’s split up the time. You take the evening, I take the afternoon.”

  We stood there looking at each other, and from out of nowhere, I laughed. The whole situation seemed just so out of kilter. Never would I have imagined negotiating with my daddy over our dating schedules.

  Daddy laughed, too. Then surveyed the ceiling as if searching for an answer to this delicate subject. “How about I take the afternoon, you take the evening?”

  “I asked first.”

  “No, you didn’t, I did.”

  “I’m the teenager.”

  “I’m the dad.”

  Case closed.

  Ten minutes later, Daddy and Katherine happily traipsed out to the garage. Daddy promised me they’d be home by five. I picked up the phone to call Greg with the news.

  “So where was it you wanted to go?” I asked.

  chapter 30

  Greg suggested that we plan a picnic. I didn’t think Daddy would mind. Besides, it beat facing who-knew-what at another restaurant. I made sandwiches, gathered chips and drinks. Greg said he’d bring the dessert, seeing as how I’d been gypped out of one the night before. I hardly viewed that evening as my having been gypped out of anything, but I didn’t argue the details.

  I had plenty to do while I waited on tenterhooks for Daddy and Katherine to return. Most of the time I spent on the phone. Every one of the girls who’d been in our group after church called me, breathless and gushing and seeking details. Was Greg my boyfriend, or did Greek guys just hold a girl’s hand for nothing? Had I gone out on a date with him? Where had we gone, what had we done? Questions, questions. They hardly left me room to answer. I hedged as much as possibl
e without lying. Yes, we went out to supper, I admitted. Only to Alison did I tell the whole story. That call in itself took an hour.

  “I’m so excited for you,” she crowed. “Clayton’s Place! Jacob and I went bowling again, big deal.”

  Jacob would still be here long after Greg had gone, I reminded her.

  We also talked more about Friday night.

  “I don’t trust Katherine a minute,” I admitted. “She bounced from one job to the next in the past eleven years, and more importantly, one man to the next. She’s hardly good enough for Daddy. What if she ditches him and breaks his heart? She’d break Clarissa’s and Robert’s, too. I swear, I’d strangle her. I mean, think about it, Alison, she doesn’t even have a job here. I know she’s doin’ the cookin’ and cleanin’ at her parents’ house, but how long does that take every day?”

  “So . . . what does that matter?”

  “She’s not even settling down!” I exclaimed, annoyed that she couldn’t understand. “Doesn’t it make you think her bein’ in Bradleyville is just another temporary thing, until she gets bored and wants to move on?”

  “There’s not all that many jobs around here. She probably doesn’t know what she wants to do yet. Or . . .” She trailed out the word. “She figures no point in gettin’ a job ’cause she’s plannin’ on marryin’ your daddy.”

  Of course. The thought hit me like a brick over the head. Why hadn’t I seen this before?

  “And if she wants to marry him,” Alison continued, “obviously she is plannin’ on settlin’ down. And you don’t have to worry about her hurtin’ your family.”

  “Well, that’s just great,” I retorted, “but nobody seems to be thinking about me in all this, including you. Like what if I don’t want Katherine in our family?”

  Silence. I could hear Alison breathing over the phone. “But if your daddy loves her . . . wouldn’t you want him to be happy?”

  I focused on Greg’s picture. In less than two hours, I’d be with him. Excitement and longing surged through me at the thought. I remembered Daddy’s words about Katherine the night we first spoke about his dating her. Bein’ with her has brought me an anticipation Ihaven’t felt in a long time. Now I knew what he was talking about. Oh, how I knew.