Capture the Wind for Me

by Brandilyn Collins

  “Oh, Greg, I can’t—”

  “Yes, take it.”

  “But your parents gave it to you. It means so much to you.”

  “This is why I want you to keep it. It’s the best I can give you. Except maybe when I write you a song.” He smiled again, cheeks glowing with happiness.

  I gazed at the ring in my hand. I stared and stared at its gold band with etchings down the side until they blurred, and my throat hurt, and my lips wavered. “Thank you,” I whispered, wishing I could find something more worthy to say. “Thank you.”

  I slipped the ring into my purse so I wouldn’t lose it, telling Greg I would put it on the gold chain my mother left me. And I wouldn’t take it off, ever, even when I slept. I would still have it on when I saw him again at the Lexington concert. Saturday, August 22. I would live and breathe for that day.

  When we pulled up to the Matthews’ house, both of us silent, already feeling the loss of our separation, Greg kissed me one last, long time. I didn’t care that our car sat near a streetlight, that any neighbor nosing out the window—or even my grandma Westerdahl two houses down—might see. I just wanted that kiss to last forever.

  “I love you, Jackie.” Tsoky.

  “I love you.”

  Apprehension creased his forehead as he gazed at me. “You don’t forget me when I am gone? And there are other guys here?”

  He was thinking of Celia, I realized. The pain she’d caused his brother. But then, hadn’t his brother made the first mistake? “No, Greg, I promise. I love you. But don’t forget me.” My fingers sank into his arms at the mere imagining. “With all those girls wantin’ you, don’t forget me.”

  “No. I won’t. Do not think it.” His eyes glistened. He ran his tongue between his lips. “E-mail me every day. I write you and call when I can. And please—pray for me.”

  I promised to do all those things.

  Five minutes later I trudged into our house, shoulders bent and cheeks wet. Daddy took one look at my face, and his own expression lined with concern for me. Without a word, he hugged me, resting his chin on the top of my head.

  Before I dragged into my room, I opened my e-mail on the computer, heart already brimming with words to write Greg. A single e-mail sat in my inbox. A response from Greg, written at 5:30, just before I’d pulled up to the Matthews’ door.

  >Dear Greg, Will you kiss me tonight?<

  Yes.

  chapter 33

  Tuesday morning. From that day on, my life would forever change. POP STAR VISITS ALBERTSVILLE. The headline screamed across the front page of the twice-weekly Albertsville Journal. Daddy held the section up for me to see the minute I entered the kitchen, his expression black. “Read it,” he commanded.

  I sank into a chair, heart in my throat, and stared at the front page. Right in the middle spread not one picture of Greg and me, but two. The first had been taken at the restaurant as we’d turned in surprise toward the camera, hands clasped over the table. Charlotte must have snapped the second through the window, catching us by the car as Greg hugged me, one of his hands on my back, the other in my hair. Beside the photos, big black letters spelled out the quote, “She’s my girl.”

  I dropped my head in my hands, mortified. Imagining the gossip already swirling through town, the raised eyebrows at school. I could barely breathe as I forced myself to read.

  Greg Kostakis, lead singer of the singing group LuvRush, was spotted at Clayton’s Place with his girlfriend from Bradleyville on Saturday night. According to sources in Bradleyville, Kostakis is visiting the town, staying with William and Estelle Matthews, the parents of his sister-in-law, Celia. Kostakis’s half brother, Danny, grew up in Bradleyville and moved to Greece after he graduated from high school. All four singers in LuvRush are from Athens, Greece.

  Charlotte Deeks, who took the picture, said Kostakis told her and her friends, who were out for prom night, that the girl he was with (later identified as Jackie Delham), was “his girl” and that he would not allow apicture to be taken of himself with any other girl unless Jackie was also in it.

  “You should have seen them,” Deeks said. “They were practically all over each other in the restaurant, and then they left all of asudden. That’s when Itook the picture of them in the parking lot.”

  Kostakis had alarge bruise on his left cheek, as if he had been in afight. Deeks said he would only explain that he’d had “alittle accident.”

  LuvRush is a popular new band, with their single “Hung Up on You” landing at number five on the charts ...

  I did not need to read further. I slumped over the table, unable to raise my head to look Daddy in the eye, shame and defensiveness like lead in my stomach. Around my neck, hidden by my pajamas, hung Greg’s ring on the gold chain I’d gotten from Mama. I could feel the ring’s weight as it swung forward against the cotton fabric of my top.

  Daddy raked out a chair opposite me and sat down hard. For a moment he said nothing, the headline glaring between us. I turned the paper over.

  “Look at me, Jackie.”

  I raised my head, the rest of me still, wooden.

  “Huggin’ you like that in a public parking lot?” He threw out the words, his voice harsh. “Tellin’ perfect strangers ‘my girl’ on a first date? He was ‘all over you’?”

  “It’s not true, Daddy, she lied!”

  “You got the pictures right there to prove it!”

  “But it’s not like it looks, and he wasn’t ‘all over’ me in the restaurant, not at all!” My voice pleaded for him to understand. “And Greg didn’t mean the thing about ‘my girl,’ he was just tryin’ to—”

  “Didn’t mean it? Sure looks like he meant it to me. Looks like you both meant it.”

  “Daddy, you don’t know! That girl was awful, and she was puttin’ me down, and Greg was tryin’ to be nice, but he wouldn’t let her get away with it.”

  Daddy’s jaw worked. “You didn’t tell me that someone took pictures. Very private pictures. You didn’t tell me that Greg went around brag-gin’ about who he is—”

  “He didn’t!”

  “Do not interrupt me.” Daddy smacked the table. “You did not tell me any of this. Especially about the pictures. All you told me—assured me—was that I could trust you. It was hard enough for me to let you go out with Greg, you know that. I thought from the beginning he’d cause trouble. Now look what’s happened. Your name’s in the paper for everyone to see. Your picture’s in the paper. Sixteen years old, Jackie, on your first date, and the whole town gets to see the way you behaved. I can’t believe the way you and Greg paraded yourselves around.”

  “We did not parade around!”

  “Then just what would you call it?” Daddy pushed back against his chair in disgust. “Jackie, Greg’s life is nothin’ like ours. He’s lookin’ to put himself in the limelight, to be famous. Singers thrive on attention. Well, he got his attention all right, and dragged you into it with him. I’m tellin’ you, it’s a good thing he’s gone, because he would not step foot in this house again.”

  My head swam with arguments. Greg hadn’t left yet, that I knew. He’d be packing, getting ready to drive to the Lexington airport around 11:00. Surely someone at the Matthews’ household had seen the paper. I knew he would feel terrible. He’d want to call me, beg my forgiveness. As if he’d done something terribly wrong. Which he hadn’t.

  “It’s one thing to let you date,” Daddy raved on, “but in Bradley-ville—as you well know—that’s done with circumspection, despite how exciting it might be. I never dreamed that on your first date you’d act like this—in front of people who you knew were watching you because of Greg. Who would have every reason to spread the news. And now I’m lookin’ at what this Charlotte said, and I’m rememberin’ how you mentioned you two didn’t have dessert. How you left the restaurant far earlier than you came home. And I’m wonderin’ exactly where you went, and what you did!”

  I dragged in air, my cheeks flushing hot. Dating with circumspection?
Wondering what I had done? The mere thought that Daddy would suspect bad things of me or Greg made my blood boil. Who was he to talk, after the mistakes he’d made at my age?

  Daddy glowered at me, waiting, watching my face. I glared back at him. In the next minute, his breath ebbed. He drew back, the lines on his forehead unraveling as he understood my unspoken words. Instantly, then, his expression creased with fresh anger. We faced off, silently spewing.

  “Hi, Dad,” Clarissa’s voice floated from behind me.

  “Clarissa, go get dressed,” Daddy barked, not taking his eyes from me. I sensed the momentary pause of Clarissa’s confusion, then heard her rustle away.

  “You care to tell me what’s on your mind?” Daddy dared, his voice flint-edged.

  I swallowed hard, frayed nerves causing my sense of betrayal over Celia and him to rise bitterly in my throat. Tears pricked my eyes.

  “Well?”

  I inhaled raggedly. “We didn’t do anything wrong, Daddy, please believe that. We were just tryin’ to talk in the restaurant, but this girl recognized Greg, and then she wouldn’t leave us alone. She was real snotty to me. So Greg put her in her place. That’s why she lied. He stood up for me, Daddy, just like he stood up for you the night before. We didn’t know she was goin’ to take our picture. The minute she took it, we left. Greg hugged me for a second because I was so upset. How could I know she’d take another picture, and go to the papers with them?”

  “Greg should have known,” Daddy declared. “Maybe at first we all thought he could get by without bein’ recognized here. But he’s chosen the public life, and he should know how to handle it. The minute that picture was taken, he should have realized what would happen. And you should have told me. The last thing you should have done was hug in the parking lot for everyone to goggle at!”

  I dropped my gaze, whispering, “I’m sorry.”

  “Where did you go after you left that restaurant?”

  “Nowhere.”

  “Jackie!”

  I heard the fear and mistrust in his voice, and it made me sick.

  “We just drove somewhere and parked so we could talk, that’s all. Where we wouldn’t have to deal with people!”

  Daddy’s face blanched. “You sat in a parked car, just the two of you, long after dark? What did you do?”

  “Nothing! Just talked.”

  He glared at me, mouth pressed.

  “What’s wrong with that?” I cried. “What’d you want us to do, stay at the restaurant so they could take more pictures?”

  “You should have come home, that’s what!”

  “It wasn’t time to come home!”

  Daddy rose from his chair, leaning over the table to sear me with his eyes. “Jackie, you don’t go parking with some boy for hours after dark. You know I’d never allow that.”

  “We didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Like you ‘didn’t do anything’ at the restaurant?”

  “We didn’t do anything!”

  “How can I believe that,” he shouted, “when you’ve surprised me as much as you already have?”

  “Because Greg’s not you, Daddy!”

  The words shot from my mouth like heat-seeking missiles. Instantly, I wanted them back. They hit their mark. Daddy hung over the table, lips parted, no words coming, slow pain filling his eyes. Carefully, he lowered himself into his seat.

  I could not believe what I had done. Apologies struggled to form on my tongue, then died away. An aching, deep longing for Mama surged through me. This wouldn’t have happened if she had been alive.

  Some of the longest moments of my life passed before either of us spoke.

  Daddy cleared his throat. “People make mistakes, Jackie,” he uttered. “And the smart ones learn from those mistakes.”

  No, I cried inside, no. Already I knew where he was headed. It wasn’t fair, his using his past to shatter my present.

  “Let’s talk about you, shall we?” He pointed at me for effect. “I let you see Greg while he was here—even though I never liked the idea. Now he’s gone. Hear me when I say I’m fully expecting that will be the end of it. I know you’re sad. But this”—he pressed a finger against the paper—“just shows that you are far better off without him. Your lack of judgment and his is goin’ to cost us all. I don’t want to hear that you’re writin’ or callin’ him. And I don’t want to hear about your goin’ to any concerts. Is that clear?”

  I let my eyes drift, unable to respond. Hugged my arms against my chest, feeling Greg’s ring press against my skin.

  “As for your going out in the future,” Daddy added, “I will watch you far more closely. And it’s goin’ to be with somebody whose family I know.”

  The phone rang. Daddy ignored it.

  “Do you hear me, Jackie?”

  How could I fight him? The barest lifting of my chin answered yes.

  The phone rang again. Daddy emitted a sigh, then rose to answer it. I knew who it was. My eyes closed, burning, as I listened helplessly to his words.

  “No, you cannot talk to her,” he clipped. “I’m very disappointed in both of you, Greg, and I blame it mostly on you. You should have known better. Your life has now caused trouble for ours, and we’ll have to deal with it long after you’re gone. I don’t want you contacting Jackie again.”

  He dropped the receiver firmly back into place.

  “Go get dressed for school.”

  I pushed to my feet and stumbled from the kitchen.

  chapter 34

  I don’t know how I managed to go to school that day. Somehow I got myself dressed and out the door with the rest of the family, eyes red and stomach hungry since I’d had no time for breakfast. I wore a blouse that would hide the chain and Greg’s ring. No one said a word in the car as Daddy drove us to school. One look at our faces, and Clarissa and Robert had known to leave well enough alone.

  The pain of losing Greg would have been enough. I wanted to slink through the day, wiping my eyes unnoticed by no one. Instead I found myself surrounded and watched like some fascinating pariah.

  Alison stuck by me. Most of the other girls did not. They were mad at me to begin with for not telling them who Greg was. I’d hidden information from them, treating them like peons while I played Cinderella with the visiting prince. Then for me to behave on a first date the way stupid Charlotte had said. In a way I couldn’t blame the girls, hearing their parents’ stunned questions as surely they had. Nicole and Cherise, Millicent and the others needed to distance themselves from me, to let all know that they neither approved of my behavior nor had consorted to keep it a secret. The boys proved far worse, their knowing expressions and under-the-breath remarks telling me all I needed to know. They viewed me with a mixture of awe and judgment. Well, well, I could practically hear them thinking, Jackie Delham. Whoever would have thought? Billy Sullivan acted the worst of them all. I’d put him in his place a few times, and he clearly enjoyed getting me back. And then some. I will say Jacob did not take part in any of the guys’ muted conversations, at least from what I saw. Alison had probably threatened not to talk to him if he did.

  Teachers went out of their way to treat me normally. To act as if they hadn’t read that article, no sir, wouldn’t stoop to believing such gossip. Their tight smiles and averted eyes in the hallway spoke otherwise. Clearly, they didn’t know what to say. So they said nothing at all.

  The irony of the situation was not lost on me. Years before, Daddy had faced days like this, although admittedly his had been far worse. But then, he’d deserved it, I reminded myself. I didn’t.

  Besides Alison, only one other person at school remained truly kind to me that day. Derek.

  He ambled up to Alison and me as we sat on a bench in the yard during lunch. Despite my lack of breakfast, I hadn’t felt like eating and certainly didn’t want to face our usual table. Derek must have scarfed down his own meal in order to be outside so soon.

  “Hey,” he said, his head tilted as he gazed down at us.
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  “Hi.” I focused on his ankles, idly wondering about his socks.

  “How’s your computer?” he asked. The typical Derek question.

  If he only knew what that computer would mean to me now. The computer I was not supposed to use to e-mail Greg. And fully intended to use in such a manner anyway. “Fine.”

  He stood awkwardly, trying to think of something else to say. I felt a rush of gratitude. Derek was strange, but he was obviously going out of his way to be nice to me. “Do you want to sit down?” I asked. Alison shot me a look as if I’d lost my mind. “Come on.” I scooted toward Alison, patting the bench slats. Derek plunked down without a word, pant legs rising. My mouth dropped open.

  “Derek, your socks are the same color.”

  He stuck out a foot and inspected it. Then the other. “Oh. Yeah.”

  “There’s Jacob,” Alison said. I looked up the yard to see him exiting the lunch building. “I’d better go, okay?” She eyed me, not sure whether to leave me alone with Derek. Good grief. Big, bad Derek. I nudged her off with a toss of my head. Once she’d gone I moved over to where she had sat, turning to face Derek, elbow resting on the back of the bench.

  “So why are your socks the same color?”

  He shrugged. “I hadn’t really noticed. Just pulled two out of the drawer.”

  Something about the way he drummed his long fingers against his knees, eyes on the ground—I didn’t believe him. I picked a piece of lint off my jeans. He studied an ant crawling over the grass. Decisively, then, he looked at me. “I heard about what happened at your house Friday night. I’m real sorry you had to go through that.”

  I worked to keep the surprise from my face. It wasn’t like Derek to say something right out like that. “Well. It . . . turned out okay.”

  He jerked his head in a nod. The ant caught his attention once more. Suddenly I wished I could really talk to him, ask him what he thought about his sister’s past, and could we really believe she’d changed for good? “Did you know about Katherine’s fiancé?” I ventured.