Always

by Amy Richie

  He better not be in here sleeping.

  I pushed the door open and slipped inside quickly. Just as fast, I had the door closed behind me. I leaned against the door and stood there listening for any unfamiliar sounds.

  I didn’t hear anything, not one thing. After a thorough search of his entire place, which was enormous, I had to face the reality that Rueben wasn’t at home. There were no clues there to point to where he may have gone, either.

  Now I wasn’t sure where to look. I had already checked his normal places. I was just going to have to go home and hope he called.

  I trudged slowly up the stairs to the door marked 2B-Home. It unlocked easily, but no one was in there. Even before the door swung open, I could feel how empty the apartment was.

  My heart kept its steady beat inside my chest, but it felt hollow and foreign to me. Rueben hadn’t been here and now I was really beginning to worry.

  It wasn’t unusual for him to leave the city for a few days, or even weeks, but he always told me before he went. He wouldn’t have just left me worrying.

  I had known for a few weeks now that something was wrong with him. I should have tried harder to find out what it was. Who knew what had happened to him or where he was? Would Marcus have done something to him?

  I wanted to discard that idea immediately, but why else would Marcus have called this number? If he hadn’t gotten it from Rueben’s head, how else would he know it? If Marcus had gotten to Rueben, and hurt him, then how far gone was he? Was there any hope left at all?

  Chapter Forty-Two

  I didn’t know where else to look, but how could I just stay here while Rueben was lost somewhere? He wouldn’t have stopped looking for me.

  I closed my eyes in defeat and sank into the nearest seat to me–the hard kitchen chair. Even the neighbor’s baby seemed to realize that something was wrong tonight and stayed quiet.

  Everything was silent; too silent. It had a way of messing with my head and making me more nervous than I already was. The shrill ring of the telephone broke the all-consuming silence, making me jump.

  Ring.

  I walked slowly to the off-white box that sat on the counter separating the kitchen from the rest of the apartment. I stared hard at it, willing it to ring again.

  Ring.

  My breath caught in my throat and stayed there. Beads of sweat popped out above my eyebrows. I tried to stop my heartbeats, but they raged on like they had a mind all their own.

  Ring.

  I cringed away, backing up until I reached the chair again. When I felt it bump against the back of my legs, I sank back down. My legs were shaking too much to hold me up anyways. Never before had a single sound scared me so badly.

  Ring.

  I covered my mouth with my trembling fingers. It was Marcus. It had to be Marcus. If he was calling now, then that must mean he could see me. He knew right when I had returned to my apartment.

  Ring.

  I shouldn’t have been so afraid of Marcus; it seemed an unnatural thing to do. I should have been excited to hear from him, running to get the phone. But I was too terrified to move. My feet were like clay on the floor.

  Ring.

  My lips began to feel numb from clamping them together so tightly. I was afraid that if I allowed myself even the tiniest bit of air, I would start screaming; and if Marcus was close by, he would hear me screaming. Then, he’d come here and I knew that more than anything, I wasn’t ready to come face to face with Marcus yet. I needed to find Rueben first. I needed to kill Silango first. If I saw Marcus first and he killed me, he would never forgive himself. I couldn’t do that to him.

  Ring.

  Eight rings. He wasn’t going to stop until I answered. He knew I was here. He could probably hear my heart beating a million times a minute. He knew how scared I was and he wouldn’t give up. It didn’t matter if he didn’t want to kill me; Silango’s order had finally gotten to be too much for Marcus. Rueben had said that one day it would and Marcus would come for me. He was right.

  Ring.

  The ninth ring unfroze me. I quickly crossed the room and picked up the plastic receiver.

  “Hello?” My breathing was almost too heavy for me to hear the voice on the other end of the phone.

  “Claudia.” It wasn’t a question–more just a breathless declaration.

  My heart stopped. I had wanted him to call me back, but it terrified me now that he was on the phone. I hated to think anything bad about Marcus, and yet he still wanted to kill me. Silango’s hold on him was still too strong.

  “Marcus.”

  “I didn’t think you were going to answer.”

  “I didn’t, either.”

  “H…how are you?”

  My tongue seemed to swell up until it didn’t fit inside my mouth. Even if I knew how to answer him, I was sure my tongue wouldn’t work enough to allow me to talk to him.

  “Are you still there?” he asked after too much time had passed.

  “Yes.”

  “I thought you hung up on me.” I could almost see his tight smile, and it nearly shattered my already cracked heart.

  “I’m here.”

  “Have you been alright?”

  “Alright?” I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of his question. Of course I wasn’t alright. I had found a way to survive–maybe even bettered myself, but I would never be alright without Marcus. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied.

  “You sound good.”

  He didn’t sound so good; I heard the stress in his voice. There was so much wrong with him, I could only imagine how terrible he looked. “You, too,” I lied again.

  “I…uh…miss you.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut and sucked in enough air to make my lungs work. I had to hurry and get off the phone. I couldn’t tell him where I was.

  “Tell me where Rueben is.” I tried to demand. It came out too shaky for anyone to take seriously.

  “How would I know where Rueben is?”

  “You asked what was wrong with him.”

  “So?”

  “So, you must know that something happened to him.”

  “Yeah, but not what that something is.”

  “How do you know that something was wrong?”

  “I’m glad that you’re so concerned for my brother’s well-being, but I’m sure he is fine.”

  “No, he’s not! I can’t find him anywhere.”

  “He called me,” Marcus admitted. “He gave me this number.”

  “Why would he do that?”

  “When I tried to call him back, he didn’t answer his phone.”

  It didn’t make any sense. Why would Rueben give Marcus my phone number and then disappear? Was he trying to tell me something? Did Marcus have Rueben? It just didn’t make any sense.

  “I don’t know where he is, either.”

  “But he gave me this phone number–your phone number. Why did he want me to call you?”

  “He didn’t.”

  “Well, it sure looks like he did.”

  “He wanted you to know where I was.”

  Marcus was silent for several heartbeats. “Why?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Were you two fighting last time you talked?”

  “No! Even if we were…”

  “When is the last time you actually saw him?”

  “Yesterday.”

  “You mean that you…”

  “I what?”

  “You’re still with Rueben?”

  Heat flushed up my neck at his implications. “We’re friends, Marcus.”

  “You’ve been friends for a long time.”

  “Ever since you ordered me away from you.”

  He was quiet on the other end of the phone, but I still heard him breathing. “I had to,” he finally said.

  “It seems to me like you have to do a lot of things you don’t want to.”

  “Has he…”

  “He’s helped me–a lot. I can take care of myself now.”

&n
bsp; “Then, why are you still with him?”

  “We’re friends.”

  “Hmph.”

  “You forced us together. I thought you’d be glad to know that things have worked out.”

  I couldn’t stop myself from leaving him wondering. So much time had passed; so many nights I had lain awake and wondered where he was and what he was doing; so much time we had spent apart.

  “I am,” he said suddenly. “I wanted you to.”

  “You wanted me to what?”

  “Find someone else.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  His laughter was short and choppy, not at all what I was used to. “You’re a beautiful woman. Why is it so ridiculous to think–to hope–that you may one day find someone else to love? Someone else that could make you happy.”

  “Your brother?’

  I could almost hear him shrug over the phone. “Someone who would understand what you are.” He sounded so broken.

  “Where are you, Marcus?” I secretly thrilled at the sound of his name on my tongue, even as I seethed in anger.

  “I’m close.”

  “How close?”

  He laughed, a cruel sort of sound. “Don’t worry, not that close.”

  “Rueben said you would come back for me one day.”

  “Did he?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What else did Rueben say?”

  “He said I had to kill Silango.”

  There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end, causing a hiss of static. “No, he didn’t.”

  “He did. And he told me how to do it.”

  “Why would he tell you that?” His voice had changed; quieted, and lost some of its bite.

  “That’s the only way.”

  “The only way for what?”

  He wanted me to say it, I realized. He wanted me to tell him that I still loved him, that I still wanted to be with him. He wanted to know that I would kill Silango so that we could be together.

  “It’s the only way for us to be together,” I said quietly.

  “Don’t do it,” he sounded like a man being tortured.

  “It would break your bond–set you free.”

  “I…I don’t want to be free.”

  “You can’t know for sure.”

  “You don’t stand a chance, Claudia.”

  “I know I can do it.”

  “He will kill you–or his warriors will. Just…stay away. You need to get away. Just…”

  “Marcus. Just tell me–do you know where Rueben is?”

  “No.”

  “Then, I can’t leave here. I have to know he’s alright first.”

  “Where are you?” he asked gruffly.

  “You already know,” my voice was barely audible. How I longed to be back in his arms again.

  “Do you want me to come there–to take you away?”

  “Yes,” my voice broke. Two tears made their way silently down my face. It was no use trying to deny my feelings for Marcus. I loved him still.

  “What I wouldn’t give…” I heard his own emotion before he stopped to take a breath.

  “I can come to you.”

  “No!”

  “Why? We could just go away together. It could be like it was before.” Almost, I amended in my head. Only this time, I would hunt for myself.

  “It can never be like that, Claudia.”

  “It could.”

  “The order has been given. I won’t stop until you are dead. And then…”

  “It would end if Silango was dead.”

  “You can’t kill him. You are physically unable to do it.”

  “Marcus...”

  “And I am too weak to fight him anymore. I barely go out anymore for fear that I might catch your scent. I wait weeks between feeding so that I will be too weak to kill you if I do find you.”

  Hearing his words made my stomach clench painfully. No matter what had happened, his agony was still my agony. His pain would always be my pain. I wanted to tell him just to come and kill me so it would end his suffering.

  But, no, I had to go to him. I had to find Silango first. I wouldn’t give Marcus up without a fight. “Tell me where you are. I’ll come to you.”

  “What do you think, Claudia? That I’m not going to find you?” There was ice in his voice that sent shivers up my spine.

  “I’m not…” I licked my lips nervously, “I’m not hiding from you.”

  “You tried to hide from me.”

  “No, I didn’t,” I denied again.

  “Rueben took you away so I wouldn’t be able to find you.”

  “He only did what you told him to.”

  “Now you’re defending him.”

  “What do you expect me to do?”

  “I expect you to wait for me there in your tiny New York apartment. I expect you to stand there in the dark and be afraid of every noise you hear.”

  “Are you in New York?”

  “I guess you’ll soon find out.”

  “What is that supposed to mean? Where are you? Are you already in New York?”

  But my questions were asked to empty air. Marcus had already hung up.

  I cradled the receiver slowly, my eyes darting all around the quiet apartment. I definitely wouldn’t be getting any sleep now.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  I wouldn’t even have noticed the news–I was too upset to even really be watching it. I usually kept the television on just for the illusion of having company; the quiet of the apartment was sometimes too large for me. But then the announcer said something that caught my attention.

  “24 year old woman found dead in an alley tonight. Police have no leads on this violent murder.”

  I flipped the TV off, not wanting to hear anymore. I couldn’t handle any more bad news that day. My mind kept working out the details of my phone call with Marcus.

  Could it be possible that he was in New York? Marcus hated the States, but if he knew I was here, then maybe he came here for me. Why would Rueben tell him where I was?

  There was only one thing my mind could come up with. Rueben must have known he was leaving, so he decided before he left that I was ready to face Marcus–and Silango. That meant that Rueben might not be coming back.

  Did that also mean that Silango was in New York?

  I sat up suddenly in my seat. That had to be it. Silango had come with Marcus to make sure he finished the job. If he was in the city, he could have easily sent Rueben away to do something else.

  Rueben had been so angry the last time I had seen him. The look reminded me of similar times when Silango had given Marcus orders. I took a deep breath.

  No! I wasn’t ready.

  I flipped the TV back on. The murder; I needed to know more.

  “This is the second body that police have found just today. Both women were similar in age and both had red hair.”

  My mouth fell open in a gasp. It had to be Marcus; I just knew it! A small knot of dread began to form in the pit of my stomach. Would he really go to such lengths just to get my attention?

  He would if Silango told him to. I closed my eyes in horror and shock. How could Rueben possibly think I was ready? Sure, he had told me how to kill Silango, but that wasn’t enough. I didn’t even know how I was supposed to get close enough to him.

  How would I even find Silango? Would he be traveling with Marcus? Certainly he wouldn’t be by himself. I could probably follow the scent of other vampires. That many warriors in the city was sure to leave a mark.

  Okay, so even if I could find him, how was I going to get close enough to him? He could underestimate me. He wouldn’t think I was much of a threat and let his guard down. Then, there might be a chance.

  Self-doubt began to creep in. Was I even strong enough? What if he killed me first? I wasn’t that worried about myself, but what would happen to Marcus if I died? If he killed me himself, how could he live with that? If Silango was the one to kill me, would Marcus challenge him?

  I
shook my head quickly. Rueben thought I was ready. He told me not to doubt myself, to just swing. Where would I start looking for him, though? The murders; he was leading me right to him. I turned my attention back to the TV announcer.

  “The women’s bodies were found in an alley right off of 43rd street.” That was way too close to my apartment.

  The ring of the telephone pulled me away from the television. I didn’t hesitate this time to pick up the receiver.

  “Marcus?”

  “Hello, Claudia.”

  His voice sounded so sinister, but I was still happy to hear it. What was wrong with me? “What are you doing?”

  “Standing here.”

  “Where?”

  “Listening to the sounds of the city. How can you stand living here?”

  “You get used to it.”

  “I suppose you can get used to a lot of things, huh?”

  “If you have to.”

  “Did you get my message?”

  “Please tell me that you didn’t kill those women.”

  “I needed you to know that I was here.”

  “You could have just called.”

  “That’s no fun.”

  “This is not you.”

  “Oh, I can assure you, Claudia, this is me.”

  “You’re not a murderer.”

  “I’m worse.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  “Don’t be like that, Claudia,” he cooed into the phone, “We both know that you’ve killed, too.”

  I couldn’t deny it. I had even killed in New York. I never meant to, but it did happen. Rueben told me I would get better, and I did. “I haven’t in a long time.”

  “The years isn’t really that long.”

  My lips snapped shut. He knew more about me than I realized. The thought that he had been checking up on me more often than I knew didn’t excite me as much as it once would have.

  “I think it’s time,” he said darkly, “for you and me to meet again.”

  “Where do you want to meet?” I let my voice go completely dead. I couldn’t allow him to continue what he was doing. He wasn’t a monster and later, it would kill him to remember what he had almost been.

  “The alley.”

  “There are a lot of alleys here.”

  “Rueben told me about one in particular, where the hunt is…amazing.”