Hope

by Tia Wylder

  “Really Will, if you could just five minutes without saying anything rude,” Lily muttered, but all her complaints evaporated from her mind and mouth when Will finally loosened her corset strings and she drew her first full, deep breath in hours. “Oh thank God.”

  “You're welcome, but you can call me Will.” He sat beside her and put a hand on her knee, head tilted to one side as he scrutinized her face. Lily's brow puckered.

  “What?” she asked, blushing with that feeling of nakedness that always accompanied Will's gaze.

  “Even in the most deplorable of circumstances, you manage to be breathtakingly lovely,” he sighed, putting a hand to her cheek.

  “Tis my corset that is breathtaking,” Lily couldn't help but say, her hand drifting up to touch Will's.

  “Touche,” said Will, and he leaned forward and kissed Lily deeply, pulling her small body close. Lily resisted for half a second before she melted into his strong, slender arms and let herself succumb to the pleasure of his kiss.

  Chapter Seven

  “Master Blackwood, you must unhand me.” The words left her lips mechanically, because she knew that it was what she was supposed to say, but Lily had no heart behind them. Will's kiss left her whole body tingling and yearning for more.

  “You're right,” said Will, much to her chagrin. He removed his arms from around Lily and pulled his face away, though he could not resist smoothing her hair back from her forehead. “I already besmirch my family's name on a weekly basis, no need for added complications, hm?”

  “Quite,” Lily agreed weakly.

  “Best get back to the party then. Are you well, Mrs. Blackwood?” Will got to his feet and offered her his hand.

  “I should think so, Master Blackwood. I thank you for your assistance.” Lily took Will's hand and stood, grateful that the change in posture was no longer accompanied by a wave of dizziness. Never again would she take for granted the ability to breathe!

  She followed Will back to the ballroom and he disappeared into the crowd. Lily stuck to the wall and was content to watch, which was a good thing because she was not acquainted with the assembled and neither of her escorts had bothered to introduce her to anyone. She was far too tired to socialize anyway, so Lily helped herself to another glass of punch and conjured visions of Rosie hobnobbing with the upper crust and being ushered into a much easier, happier way of life than hers had been.

  Both Lord and Master Blackwood were drunk by the time they piled into the carriage to return home. Even Lily was a mite tipsy from tippling punch on an empty stomach. Lord Blackwood staggered inside and passed out on a divan in the foyer and was snoring loudly before Lily even set foot inside the front door. She scowled at the great, fat, drunken louse as she handed her shawl to Old George, only it was not Old George who took it, but Will.

  “Oh, thank you,” Lily said, caught off-guard by his sudden appearance at her side. She could smell the punch on his breath and the tobacco smoke on his clothes.

  “Anything for you, Mother dear,” Will murmured, dropping Lily's shawl on the floor only to slide an arm across her bare shoulders. Lily turned to pick up the shawl, since it was a costly embroidered silk with tassels and rhinestones and everything, but before she could get to the garment, Will sidestepped and blocked her. Lily found herself with not three inches between herself and the younger Blackwood, who was staring down at her intently.

  “Master Blackwood,” Lily whispered, her tone somewhat indicating protest, mostly poorly concealed desire.

  Will stared at her a moment longer, then slid his hands around her tiny waist. He pulled her close to him and kissed her again, forcing her lips apart with his tongue, making Lily shiver and whine a little in the back of her throat. He started kissing down her neck and Lily gasped and squirmed, trying to free herself from his hold.

  “You must let me go, Lord Blackwood is right there!” Lily hissed.

  “Lord Blackwood won't wake up until teatime on the morrow,” Will mumbled into Lily's neck, “the old boor is more than twice your age with less than half the wits and no grace at all, you are wasted on him, and I will not let you go to waste. I must have you, Miss Monroe.” He kissed her neck again, then moved down to the tops of her breasts, so brutally constrained by the corset, but sensitive nonetheless. Lily mewled and tangled a hand in Will's hair.

  “You... you mustn't,” Lily said, arching her back into his touch, “you make me feel so strange, Will Blackwood, I have never felt this for a man before and if you persist I shan't be able to resist any more.”

  “Then stop resisting,” he grunted.

  “I--... I want to,” Lily admitted, which made Will's head pop up so that he could look at her with mild incredulity. She giggled at the expression on his face and looked away. “I have never felt... pleasure... of this nature,” she confessed, “when I saw you and the servants in the garden the other night, I had a... a feeling...”

  “A feeling?” Will bit his lip and began hitching up Lily's skirts. Lily watched him in breathless excitement. “Tell me more,” he prodded.

  “Between my legs,” Lily all but squeaked, her small, pale fingers digging in to Will's arms as his hand delved expertly through her layers of undergarments. “There was a... a heat,” she elaborated.

  “Did you like it?” Will said. His voice was husky and low, his eyes half-lidded. “Did you touch yourself?”

  “Yes,” Lily breathed, her lashes fluttering as she felt Will's hot hand against her bare skin, burrowing down the waist of her bloomers. “Oh, Will,” she gasped, holding tight as his fingers began to explore her folds, “I was so jealous of Minnie that night, I--... I wanted to be her. I wanted to know what made her--”

  Lily was about to say moan, but her voice dissolved into an inarticulate moan of its own as Will pressed a finger to her pearl. Lily pitched forward and pushed her face into Will's chest as he stroked her, and held her against his strong, slender form. She shuddered and gasped as he released his finger, then pressed again.

  “Then you shall know,” he said huskily.

  His arm tightened around Lily's shoulders as he pleasured her, relishing in the chorus of sweet little noises she made, her voice high and breathless as she tried to keep quiet with Lord Blackwood snoring soundly not twenty feet away. When her noises intensified, escalating from short, quiet moans to longer and louder ones, and she was near the edge of climax, Will withdrew his hand from her folds slowly undressed her bottom half. Lily could see Will's member straining against his trousers and when she was naked beneath her skirts, he unbuttoned his trousers, and the sight of him excited her. She looked at him hungrily, hypnotized as he came forward and took her hand and guided it to his shaft. Lily gasped again, because she wasn't sure she had ever felt a man's organ before, not like this, and it felt curiously warm and silky and firm. She explored the sensitive head with her fingertips, earning a shuddering sigh from Will which excited her in turn.

  Before Lily knew what was happening, Will had her pressed up against the wall, and she worried that things were about to take a turn, but he picked her up and braced her back against the wall and threw her legs around his waist. “Hold tight,” he whispered with half-lidded eyes, and Lily whimpered helplessly as she felt Will's girth penetrate the sensitive tightness of her opening.

  “Oh, Will,” she panted, her hands feeling weak as they dug in to his shoulders and he began thrusting inside of her, and it was unlike anything she had ever felt before. His member pressed against the top of her, creating a delicious pressure that was driving her positively mad with pleasure. He paid close attention to the sounds she made, and varied his speed accordingly, until Lily was pawing at him and crying out over and over, her voice high and needy as he pushed her closer and then over the edge of orgasm.

  She clung to him, shaking in the aftershocks, and Will held her for a moment, then gently lowered her feet back to the floor. Lily nearly collapsed, but he held her up until she was steady and then helped her collect her undergarments, giving
her bloomers a hearty sniff before handing them back to her. Lily scoffed, scandalized somehow by this more than being taken in the foyer, and watched Will drunkenly saunter off, presumably to the courtyard for a smoke. Dazed, exhausted, and confused, Lily mounted the stairs back to her own chambers to sleep.

  Chapter Eight

  It was only due to sheer exhaustion that Lily managed to get any sleep that night. She sat down on the bed to rest a moment and fell asleep before she even took off her clothes.

  When she woke, having slept soundly for only a few hours, she was in physical pain from sleeping in the corset, and her spirit was in pain as she remembered what had happened with Will. Her heart thrilled when she recalled him helping her with her corset at the ball, how he managed to be at once utterly rakish and perfectly gallant was beyond her! And then when they'd gotten home--! Lily sat up in bed, feeling the heat rekindle between her legs when she thought of him taking her in the foyer like that, and the pleasure he had made her feel, she never knew it was possible to feel this way, she never really even believed that love existed, but Lily had a feeling in her breast when she thought of Will, and she could not name it or even describe it, but it was bittersweetly pleasant.

  Was this love?

  No! NO! A thousand times no! She could not marry Will, she must marry Lord Blackwood to get her daughter back! She could not fall in love with Will... all he did was show her carnal pleasure, he was a cad, a ne'er-do-well, he was rude and arrogant and mean and he did not love her, he was only using her the way he used Minnie and the pretty scullery maid, but... but... he had those occasional moments of tenderness....

  “NO!” Lily said aloud, hopping to her feet and stamping her foot. She marched over to the mirror and stared herself in the eyes. “I will not fall in love with that boy,” she said severely. “Look how pale you are, look how thin, you look half-dead... is this what you want for Rosie! For if you do not marry Lord Blackwood you condemn Rosie to a life of hunger and hardship, pull yourself together!”

  Lily huffed and went to the basin and splashed her face with water. The water helped calm her a little, but she was still feeling quite warm about Will, so she readied herself to go out. She needed to see Rosie to strengthen her resolve to marry Lord Blackwood at all costs. She changed clothes and put on her sturdiest shoes. It was still quite early in the morning so there were few about to see her go. She went out to the stable and chose a horse and began the hour-long ride into London to the charity home, Sainte Vierge, where she knew Rosie lived.

  There was a light drizzle falling when she arrived, but the children were out in the yard to take their morning exercise. Lily held her breath, scanning the yard for Rosie, was she there? Was she alive and well? Had she contracted some wretched illness and died before Lily could save her?

  Her heart leapt when she realized that Rosie was one of the ones chasing a hoop with a stick, it had only been so long since Lily had seen her that she barely recognized her. Rosie's pale brown hair was long and neatly braided, she had grown quite a bit, her complexion looked a bit pale and she was on the reedy side for a child her age, but she was screaming and laughing with the other children. Lily knew that the charity home was poor and she felt awful that the children weren't getting enough to eat, but they also seemed to be happy enough as they ran and played.

  From across the way Lily watched, tears streaming down her face, and lost in her thoughts until someone grabbed her shoulder.

  “Will!” she gasped, horrified, did he know?

  “A bit early for a ride through town, don't you think?” he teased.

  “I--... I was restless,” Lily said stiffly, blushing and looking away. Just being in his proximity was enough to make her tremble. “And you? What are you doing out here?”

  Will's lips curled in a secretive smile. “I, too, was restless,” he said. “And feeling a bit under the weather from last night's excesses.”

  “Hmm,” Lily agreed with a nod. Her head ached, too, although she was unsure whether from too much punch, or from heartache over Rosie.

  “Hair of the dog, then?” Will grabbed Lily's hand and started walking. “Come with me.”

  “Will!” Lily craned her neck over her shoulder to catch one last glimpse of Rosie. The children were being herded inside out of the rain, anyway, so she sighed and relented to Will's tug.

  He took Lily back to her horse and they mounted together, riding a ways uptown to a pub. Even in the middle of the day, the pub was bustling with activity, and as Will escorted Lily inside, she was surprised to see both upper and middle class mingling. He lead her through the front and into a room in the back, which was packed to the rafters with men hollering around... a boxing ring.

  “Will!” Lily exclaimed, “What in heavens do you think you're doing?” She gripped his arm.

  “Boxing,” he said simply, removing his jacket, which he handed to Lily. “It is a very fashionable sport and a chum of mine has challenged me to a match.” He finished unbuttoning his shirt and handed that to her as well, leaving Lily scarlet-faced at his nakedness, her stomach fluttering and heart pounding as the match ended. “Wish me luck,” he said, kissing her on the cheek before he slipped off into the crowd to find his friend.

  Lily clutched his clothes and stood against the wall, watching in breathless anticipation as the ring was cleared for the next match. She frowned at the bloodstains on the floor, and was suddenly keenly aware that she was the only woman in the room. Eyes were drawn to her constantly, some stared outright, and Lily felt quite vulnerable and naked. She hoped that this would be over soon so she could get home, if Lord Blackwood smelled the alcohol and smoke on her he would be furious--!

  All thoughts of Lord Blackwood evaporated as Will stepped into the ring with a man several inches taller and likely forty pounds heavier than he. Will was no ponce, but he was certainly on the slender side, whereas his opponent had the build of a field hand. Lily buried her face in Will's jacket as the fight commenced, wincing as the bigger man assailed Will with a flurry of side-hooks. Will dodged neatly, taking one to the chin, and managed to land a few jabs, but he may as well have been tickling the other man with a feather for all the good it did him. Will lunged and tried to take his opponent down by the waist, but the man stopped him with two meaty hands on his shoulders and gave him a shove. Will staggered backwards and sprawled against the ropes, and Lily knew the fight was lost. The crowd knew too, had known since it started, that this would be a one-sided match, and they barely made any noise as Will was handily defeated. Lily could hardly watch as the bigger man bloodied Will's face and then threw him to the ground, and, just for good measure, sat on top of him until the bell rang.

  Will got up with less than his usual sprightliness, shook hands with his opponent, then weaved his way through the crowd back to Lily, limping and wincing. Lily hurriedly fished out her handkerchief and dabbed at Will's bloody nose.

  “You great idiot!” she cried, “That was no sport, that... that was a beating.”

  “I deserved it,” Will said with a shrug, but shrugging made him grunt and double over in pain.

  “Will!” Lily gasped, “Oh, dear... you must get to a doctor!” She took his hand and made for the door.

  “No, no, no,” he grumbled, taking the handkerchief from her to stem the blood flow from his nose, “it's nothing, just a few cuts and bumps... and perhaps a cracked rib.”

  Lily frowned and helped him back into his shirt, confused by the rush of desire as she buttoned it for him, she knew she should be angry and disgusted with him, but, truth be told, there was also something rather exhilarating about it all, and though she hated to see Will in pain, she relished these moments of closeness as she helped him tend his wounds.

  She carried his jacket for him as they went back out to the front room. Will could not stand upright for the pain and Lily guided him to sit on a barstool.

  “You stupid boy!” she spat, handing him a glass of beer, “You knew exactly what was going to happen, didn't you?”


  Will nodded and chuckled, but chuckling made him double over and clutch at his abdomen.

  “Then why did you do it!” Lily demanded. When Will set the beer down she picked it up and took a long draught herself, earning a quizzical look from her companion.

  “I... I may have, er... had a liaison, that is, with his sister... who is engaged to an earl.” Rather than contrite, Will looked deeply amused. He reached with a trembling hand into his jacket and retrieved his cigarette case, and was further shocked when Lillian snatched the case from him and took a cigarette for herself. She let him light it for her and pinched the bridge of her nose with a long-suffering sigh.

  “You are full of surprises,” Will remarked, laughing, but the laugh dissolved into a sort of choking cough and he nearly fell off the stool but for Lily's catching and steadying him.

  “Be careful,” she admonished, “I shall be in trouble enough with your father without you dying in my company as well.”

  “Bah. He'd not care a whit if I died,” Will mumbled, sipping his beer. “Where'd you learn to smoke like that, a pure little thing like you? I'm surprised you know which end goes in your mouth.”

  Lily sucked in her cheeks and straightened up on her seat. She looked away and took a thoughtful drag off the cigarette before looking back at Will. For some reason, before she could stop it, she started to tell him everything. She didn't know why, for Will was about as trustworthy as a moneylender in her eyes, but the words just... came out.

  “My parents died when I was fifteen,” she said. “My family is noble, you see, but my mother's brother machinated to take over their estate. He inherited everything while I was not left a penny. I was cast out of my home and out of society... ever since I have been forced to earn a living on the streets. Like as not, I've spent more time in seedy pubs than even you have, Will Blackwood.”