Kingdom Come

by Michelle Smith

  “Didn’t think about that, did ya?” Nate asked with a smirk. “Dude, you’re fucking pathetic. I guarantee the only reason you’re even pretending to care is so you can get into crazy chick’s pants over here.”

  My jaw dropped when he pointed at me. “Excuse you—”

  The words were barely out of my mouth before Ethan grabbed the front of Nate’s shirt and shoved him back against the wall. Crap. Danny and I rushed over just as Ethan yanked on the shirt, only to smack him against the wall again. I cringed when Nate’s head hit with a thud, but it didn’t seem to faze him at all. Then again, with his mouth, he was probably used to getting the crap beat out of him.

  “Leave her out of this,” Ethan said. His face was flushed, his jaw rigid as he stared Nate down. “Let’s get one thing straight: you talk shit about her, you answer to me. And I don’t think you want to do that.”

  As much as Nate deserved a black eye, I couldn’t let Ethan do this. Not for me. I inched forward and placed my hand on his arm. His stance slacked just a bit, but he didn’t break his hold on Nate.

  “Stop,” I said firmly. “He’s not worth breaking your knuckles over.”

  The two of them glared for a long moment, each daring the other to make the first move. All the muscles in Ethan’s body were tense with rage, and while I guess I should have been flattered he was quick to jump to my defense, I didn’t want this. Nate wasn’t worth it, and I didn’t want Ethan getting hurt over me, either. I knew this wasn’t who he was—he was too good for this. For all of it.

  Finally, he released his hold on Nate and backed away with a shake of his head. “She’s right,” Ethan muttered, turning away and picking up the map from the ground. He smacked it a couple of times to get the dirt off, then walked to the back of the cave, where Haven was balled up with her knees to her chest. God, I felt bad for that girl, but I had no clue how to help her. I was this close to falling apart myself.

  A loud smack to my right made me jump. I glanced over and Nate was holding his bleeding hand, which he had apparently punched into the wall. Hot-headed idiot. I rolled my eyes and my gaze traveled to Ethan, whose back was to me. I headed in his direction.

  “Ethan?” I called when I got closer. He didn’t turn. Was he embarrassed? Still angry? My money was on pissed. When I reached him, I gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry about him. He’s just looking for a fight.”

  His shoulder shook ever-so-slightly under my hand. Slowly, I moved until I stood in front of him, and my heart broke as soon as I did. His face was still beet red, but now, there were tears streaming down his cheeks. When his eyes met mine, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug.

  “I’m losing it,” he rasped, grabbing on to me. “I’m turning into the guy my parents said I was.”

  As much as it pained me to do so, I pulled away to look him square in the face. “No, you’re not. You’re good, Ethan. There’s nothing you can do to change my mind about that.”

  “I wanted to kill him,” he blurted. “Every muscle in my fucking body twitched with the urge to beat him until he was dead. That’s not normal.”

  No, it’s not. Blinking away my own tears, I reached up and cupped his cheek. “We left normal behind a long time ago. And no, it’s not normal. But you’ve got my back, and I’ve got yours. I’m not going to let you kill anybody, ‘kay? Pretty sure Danny won’t, either. Heck, he might do it for you, if you ask nicely.”

  He tried to laugh, but it came out as a mix between a snort and sob. He stared at me hard, as if he was trying to figure me out. He’d have to stare a long time. I couldn’t even figure myself out these days.

  Footsteps sounded close by, signaling Danny’s arrival. He slapped Ethan on the shoulder, then looked between the two of us. “What’s the consensus?” he asked. “What’re we doing now, oh fearless leader?”

  Ethan shot him a glare, but sighed and glanced back to the map he still held in one hand. “We have a long way to go, and not a lot of time to get there.”

  I studied the map, grimacing when I saw the long, ragged line that led to Kentucky. Ethan was right, though. We didn’t exactly have time on our side. “Well, look at this,” I said, pointing to a huge red dot. “It’s in the mountains, right? Aren’t there usually tons of signs along the main roadways? If we find our way to one of those, then it should be a straight shot.”

  “There aren’t gonna be signs.” Danny sighed. “They’re probably all blown to shit by now.”

  “I don’t know if you guys realized something,” Haven began. I jumped at the sound of her voice, as I’d actually sort of forgotten she was there. She walked to Danny’s side, her own face dirty and streaked with tear stains. “We can’t exactly go strolling outside when it’s raining fire. Did you forget that detail?”

  Ethan and I stared at one another, and with a nod, he replied, “Guess we’re taking a break for the night.”

  I scrunched my nose at the surroundings, but knew we didn’t have any other choice. It was sleep in a mold-infested cave, or chance burning to death. Without another word, I plopped down onto the ground. It was hard to believe that just last night, I was curled up on a couch with a blanket and pillow. Now, as I sat on a patch of dirt, that luxury was nothing more than a distant memory.

  Ethan sat next to me, and Haven and Danny sat beside him as we all faced the cave’s opening. Nate’s back was to us, perhaps gazing at the outside world as everything we knew likely burned to ash. I couldn’t wrap my head around the insanity of it all. I didn’t know if I wanted to.

  “Do you think anyone we know is left out there?” Danny asked. “Or is everybody just dead?”

  That type of question should have made me cry. The thought of everyone I’d ever known, gone, should have reduced me to tears. Instead, after the week we’d had, nothing really affected me anymore.

  “I’d rather not think about that anymore,” Haven said. “I hated my parents when they threw me into Sunrise, but the thought of what they probably went through?” She bit her lip and shook her head. “I can’t stand it. So, let’s focus on what’s in front of us. What do we do?”

  Nate turned, glaring at the four of us before sitting at the mouth of the cave. Danny’s words from earlier in the week played over and over in my mind. No loyalty there. Truer words had never been spoken. He was treating us like we were the enemies. I wondered what happened to make him so angry at . . . well, everything.

  Ethan shifted beside me, and lay back on the ground. He winced, trying to get comfortable. I followed his lead and lay down next to him. I immediately realized why he winced—the ground was hard as rock and freezing. So, this was my life now: sleeping on the cold floor of a damp cave while the world burned around us. Ethan lifted an arm, and I scooted into his side. Reality sucked. But he made it a little better.

  “Now?” He wrapped his arm around me before kissing the top of my head. “We rest. We recuperate—again. And when it’s safe, we get back on the road.”

  The road. I hated the freakin’ road.

  ~*o*~

  I woke with a start during the night, covered in sweat and panting even though the cave was freezing. My nightmares had returned with a vengeance. I hadn’t had one in over a week, and I’d nearly forgotten just how terrifying they were. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to calm my nerves, my heavy breaths echoing in the small space. No luck.

  I looked around. Haven and Danny were still out cold, oblivious to my state of panic. Danny had his arm tossed across her stomach, which made me smile a little. A week ago, I never would have imagined him to be the sweet type. Of course, I’d learned an awful lot since then.

  I vaguely made out Nate, who was curled up on the ground just ahead of us. But Ethan . . . I whipped my head from side-to-side, then jumped up to look behind me. There was no sign of him anywhere. Damn it. I made a beeline for the cave’s opening, stopping short when I remembered why we were here in the first place. Cautiously, I poked my head outside to glance up at the
sky. All seemed quiet. Despite the burning smell lingering in the air, there was no sign of the fire that drove us into hiding. And still no sign of Ethan.

  I groaned, my anxiety rising. The mere thought of him disappearing, of not being around anymore, was like a stab in the gut. We’d been together day in and day out, and I couldn’t imagine trying to take another step down that road without him. I was hooked on that boy—there was no denying it. Whether or not that was a good thing was yet to be determined, but I didn’t want to find out by having him ripped away cold turkey. I looked down at my wrist, where the bracelet he gave me was still tied. No guy had ever given me a present, let alone something so thoughtful. Having feelings for a guy like Ethan—someone who put me before himself so often—couldn’t be wrong. There was no way.

  I took one tentative step outside, then another until I stood on the narrow dirt path running in front of the cave. “Damn you, Ethan,” I muttered, struggling to see in the darkness. “Where are you?”

  “Right here.”

  I yelped and whirled around. He walked toward me with his hands stuffed in his pockets. I slapped a hand over my chest, having to catch my breath yet again. “Not cool,” I said. “I’m going to have a heart attack before the night’s over.”

  “Sorry.” He stopped, and even in the darkness, I saw the smile tugging at his lips. “Want to talk? Away from the others, I mean. I found a place with a little more privacy.”

  I very nearly melted at the sight of that smile. “Sure.”

  He held out his hand, and I grabbed it as he turned back toward the cave. He headed for the side of it, and only then did I notice the tiny, tiny path leading up to the cliff’s overlook. I planted my feet in the dirt, shaking my head as my pulse skyrocketed. Oh, hell no.

  “Hey,” he said. He drew me closer until I stood flush against him, and if he didn’t hear the steady thump-thump-thump of my heart, he had to have felt it. “You trust me?”

  Though my head was spinning, I managed to whisper, “Of course,” because I did trust him. With everything.

  With my hand in his, I followed him up the patch of dirt, ignoring the voice screaming that I’d probably plummet to my death at any second. He walked slowly, gripping my hand tightly until we stood above the cave, overlooking miles of destroyed forests whose remains still burned.

  “I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “Found the path and decided to scope things out.”

  “Alone?”

  He shrugged. “Haven’t exactly had much alone time lately. The quiet was kind of nice.” Ouch. As if sensing the sting of his words, he groaned. “I didn’t mean that as rude as it sounded. Sorry. I’m just . . .” He dropped my hand and rubbed his face. “I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. So, what are you doing awake?”

  I tapped my head. “Nightmares. Story of my life. Then I woke up and saw you were gone, so . . . yeah. Here I am. I was scared something had happened to you.”

  He grinned. “Thanks for coming to my rescue.” He sat on the ground, allowing his legs to dangle over the side of the cliff. I sat just behind him because there was no way my legs were getting within inches of the edge. Walking up here was enough excitement for me.

  “Well, you’re always rescuing me, it seems.” I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. There was a light breeze blowing, but it was nothing compared to a normal December night in . . . wherever we were. It was hard to remember anything anymore. “You know, for once, I’d kind of like to be the hero. Despite what you guys may think, I’m not some damsel in distress. I may be a little whacked in the head, but I’m not totally helpless.”

  He looked over his shoulder and laughed, the sound echoing off the rocks around us. Even in the darkness, his eyes held a sparkle that made my stomach all topsy-turvy. “Never once have I thought you were helpless, Kerri.” He scooted back until we were side-by-side. “And you’re about to be a hero. As soon as we walk, oh, another few hundred miles or so.”

  “How long do you think it’ll take?” I asked. “Be honest with me, Ethan. Do you think we even have a chance of making it? Or is this a waste?”

  “Dr. Fowler told me it was around a four hundred mile walk from where we started. He estimated about two weeks of walking almost around the clock, and that was before we all caught the crud. Now?” He cringed. “I’m not so sure if we’ll make it or not. As for whether or not it’s a waste? I say no. Either we stay here and risk dying, or we go there and risk dying. At least there, we’ll have a chance to put an end to this craziness.”

  I nodded, and the two of us looked back to the scene before us. I remembered the stories I heard in Sunday school when I was little, about how God spoke to Moses through a burning bush, or something like that. And wasn’t he on a mountain, too? Maybe God had a message for us. Hah. I turned my gaze to the sky, wishing that I could see the stars shining above just one more time. Instead, I saw nothing but darkness. I missed the stars. We were trapped beneath an endless night sky.

  “By the way,” he said, turning to me again, “I never got the chance to tell you, but happy birthday. Well, happy late birthday, anyway. Sucks you had to celebrate like this.”

  I chuckled. “Thanks. And for what it’s worth, you made it suck a little less.”

  He grinned.

  “Can I ask you something?” I ventured. “You don’t have to answer, and I’m sorry if it’s super insensitive, but . . . were you two close? You and the doctor? ”

  His grin wavered, but he held my gaze as he replied, “Sort of. I wasn’t at the center much longer than you. I’d only been there a couple of weeks when everything went to hell, but Fowler was there for me from the get-go. Always made me feel like I mattered, like I had some sort of purpose, you know? He was almost like a dad, in a way. And I never got a chance to thank him for that.”

  I thought back to my own arrival at Sunrise, and how welcoming Dr. Fowler was in my first group session the day everything started. That doctor was a far cry from the helpless man in the middle of the road. I shook my head, trying to clear the memory. I didn’t want to remember him that way. He was too good for that.

  “Before he . . . you know . . . he told me to finish what we started,” I said. “But I don’t know how. And Nate may be a jerk, but he had a point. What are we supposed to do when—if—we get there? Bennett will be surrounded by guards. That’s a given. So how are we going to even try to stop him?”

  Ethan remained quiet for a minute, then stood and brushed the dirt off his jeans. I barely concealed a laugh; our clothes were all a permanent shade of brown from days of wearing the same thing. He offered me his hand, which I took, and he pulled me to my feet.

  “We’ll think of something,” he said. “We still have a few days to come up with a plan, right?”

  “True.” I paused, then asked, “Why do you care, Ethan? About all of this? Why not just, you know, let it happen?”

  “Well, why do you care?”

  “Because the world’s a good place,” I replied without hesitation. “I mean, it’s got its faults, but all in all, it’s good. I think that’s something worth fighting for.”

  He smiled. “That’s as good an answer as mine. Great minds think alike.”

  With his hand still in mine, the two of us walked back toward the path, prepared to endure another night of hell on earth. But when Ethan paused long enough to press a soft kiss to my lips, I realized that I had a little piece of heaven right beside me. And I knew that somehow, we’d be okay.

  Chapter 13

  It’s hard to put one foot in front of the other when your stomach is twisted in unimaginable hunger. It’s hard to focus on where you’re going when your body is screaming for something—anything—to drink. It’s hard to comprehend what anyone is saying when your head is fuzzy from mind-numbing exhaustion. We’d come across a handful of buildings that were somehow still standing, which kept us going with a few precious packages of food and some bottles of water. It’s amazing how satisfying dry noodles can be
when there’s not much else to be found. Unfortunately, that’s where our luck ran out in the sustenance department. It was nice while it lasted.

  According to Ethan and the map, we were near a tiny lake. I didn’t have the energy, nor any reason to question him. There was no way I’d know any differently, anyway. There were no signs. Heck, there were barely any roads. That said, my dehydrated body was desperate for Ethan to be right. Being so close to a body of water was almost too good to be true. My body trembled with anticipation at the very thought.

  The fires were fizzling to sparks, but smoke lingered in the air, creating a thick fog that burned my nose and irritated my already-weak stomach. As much as I tried to cling to Ethan’s words from the days before, as much as I tried to remember there was a reason for all this . . . it wasn’t doing much good anymore. My resolve faded with every minute we went without food, or a bed, or just somewhere to lie down without fear of never waking up.

  We’d traveled down the same narrow, crumbled road for a couple days now—one nestled between trees that’d been singed from flames, but somehow spared from total destruction. The creaks and groans echoing through the forests made it clear some of those remaining trees would collapse anytime. I couldn’t find it in me to care. Sure, we had a mission to carry out. But there were plenty of moments when all I wanted to do was curl up at the base of one of those trees, close my eyes, and wish the world away. But it only took one glance at the others to push me on.

  Ethan and Danny led our group, walking ahead of the rest of us by a few yards. Nate was driving me insane with his constant grumbling. His tension rubbed off on me and made me irritable. That being said, I would listen to Nate mumble all day and night if it did anything to drown out the noises in my head.

  My earlier vision of Haven turned into nightmares that haunted me each time I drifted to sleep. And each time I woke, her screams remained in my mind. It was torture to have no idea what it meant. All I knew was that my visions always became reality. For her sake, that terrified me. I turned and found her trailing behind me, staring at the ground. She looked so sad, so lonely. My heart ached for her. Taking a deep breath, I started in her direction.