All That Remains (Manere Book 1)

by Megan Bushree

  “It’s not that easy with Milo. We didn’t just have a normal fight. He made me feel like my entire life was a joke. Like I am this horrible person or something. Besides, he doesn’t want to work it out or anything. We’re just done.”

  Lucy sifted through her empty hand as if there was imaginary trail mix cupped in her palm. The silence between us amplified the oddness of her behavior. Finally, she lifted her head, “Remember when we used to read each other’s palms in ninth grade?”

  When Lucy and I were twelve, we became captivated with all things mystical; Astrology, divination, channeling, and palm reading. “Yeah. We were obsessed.”

  “I remember being interested in the marriage line and the love line, but all you cared about was the lifeline and the fate line. You always thought you were going to die young or worried that your future was going to be filled with failure and heartbreak. I just wanted to see if I was going to get married ten times, but not you.”

  “I remember. I also remember that was why we stopped doing it. My panic attacks”.

  “Right. I didn’t think it was as much fun when I was seeing my best friend’s whole body react violently to something so silly.”

  “It wasn’t that bad, Lucy.”

  “Angie. I spent an entire night staying awake while you slept just so I could make sure you were breathing normally. Do you remember that?”

  “I do. You really are the best friend”. Lucy shook her head, fighting back what appeared to be tears on the brink of exposing themselves.

  “I’m not bringing this up for a pat on the back Angie. I’m worried about you. You are getting all worked up again. It seems like the smallest thing is making you anxious. Milo, your mom, and now the Rachel thing, which most likely is going to push you over the cliff. I just want you to know that I’m here to catch you, but it would be a hell of a lot easier if you wouldn’t keep inching your toes past the edge.”

  “I will try my best.” After hugging Lucy tightly, I realized just how right she was. There was something shifting in my mind that felt frightening familiar. I had not been on medication for two years because I didn’t feel like I needed it anymore. Things were starting to feel less worrisome, but the last summer before college was becoming more nerve-wracking than I could ever imagine.

  With so much talk about Milo, I had forgotten the reason I asked Lucy over which for once, didn’t have anything to do with Milo, at least not directly. “The Rachel thing? How did you know?” I asked.

  “You mentioned her in on the machine. It has to be bad.”

  “Right. I was getting food last night and,” I was interrupted by a pounding on the massive front door. It seemed the rest of the group had decided to make it too.

  Gathering everyone in my room had become an unexpected task. The promise of killing time together in the comforts of a home that included countless comfy seating, a big television with tons of videos and a fully kept kitchen had always been enough. Even my dad’s old fully stocked liquor cabinet was less of a cabinet and more of an open shelf for easy access.

  There had been more urgency since graduation. Everyone, including Derek who seemed to float from one irresponsible act to another, had become cloaked in tasks that needed to get done before summer’s end. An emotional and upbeat proposal that included phrases such as “We aren’t going to get to see each other anymore” and “Let’s make this summer memorable” were just persuasive enough to wrangle the crew to discuss the Rachel situation. Though to be fair, I didn’t necessarily think that we needed to spend too much time together before I left because each of my friend’s personalities was becoming increasingly unbearable.

  “Do the ‘rents have anything new that needs to be tested in the hard alcohol department?” Derek said. I hated that he referred to my mother and Peter as my parents or ‘rents.' I had told him repeatedly that it was my mom and her husband.

  Of course, he would ask for alcohol. He was the one in our group most likely to be in and out of rehab multiple times before his twenty-first birthday. Mostly, we just assumed that our friendship with him was circumstantial and once we left for college, we would if ever, speak to him and he would become a problem for a new set of friends. With the new information that she didn’t have any immediate plans, she would stay behind with Derek. It was probably the main reason they were getting so chummy. “There’s nothing new in there. I think my mom stopped buying new booze. She may have caught on that she’s supplying a minor,”.

  Shannen and Ellie walked through the door together as if attached at the hip. Their relationship always seemed a tad bit unhealthy, but I never said anything. They would go from being soulmates to enemies in a matter of minutes. It was like walking on eggshells around them but only when they were together. There was a loyalty between them because they had known each other the longest out of everyone in our group. They loved to share the story of how their mothers met in the hospital right after giving birth to them. Shannen’s dad missed the birth because he had taken a job as a truck driver when Shannen’s mom was eight months pregnant and they never heard from him again. Shannen would recall how her mother would scream at her when she misbehaved saying she was the reason her father took the job. I always thought it was strange that so many years later, no one ever heard from him. Not even his own brothers. Although, I guess they could be lying for him. When I was ten, I asked my dad if he knew him since they were both truck drivers. He had no idea who the guy was. “Angie, don’t believe everything you hear. I know Shannen’s your friend, but sometimes kids don’t get the whole story and even more often, they don’t share the real stories with their friends”.

  Ellie’s mom took Shannen’s mom under her wing as she felt a kinship since her husband was also absent during her child’s birth although he did arrive later in the night claiming he had been stuck in traffic. There was no traffic in Manere Valley, at least not the kind that would keep people from things.

  “It looks like you two made up since the last blowout,” Lucy baited them.

  They gave a coordinated shrugged as if nothing happened. Maybe forgetting their squabbles was the only thing they could do to keep the friendship.

  “I can’t stay that long. I’m supposed to talk to my new roommate later. I can’t even believe it,” Ellie beamed as Shannen appeared noticeably dismayed.

  “I can’t believe you and Shannen aren’t rooming together,” Lucy set the kindling for another blowout.

  Why Ellie didn’t want to be roommates with Shannen was nothing I ever questioned. Shannen wasn’t always the easiest person to get along with, and when an opportunity arose for Ellie to live with someone else, it only made sense for her to break away. Each of us was breaking away on our own. It seemed natural. Ellie was going through the same curiosity that I was and a few others who I knew were moving on with their lives. There was also quite a bit of concern that we wouldn’t fit in in the next place because we were held back in Manere. Whether we were doing the right thing or whether we should be worried remained to be seen.

  The group started talking to one another about who they had seen since school let out and what plans they had for the weekend. I decided that while the gossip was interesting, it was time to get back to the point of corralling everyone together. “Do you guys remember Rachel?” I asked expectantly.

  “The girl you were obsessed with when we were in junior high?” Lucy asked bitingly. Her question seemed improperly placed into the discussion like she was having an entirely separate conversation. I had no recollection of being obsessed with Rachel, and I found it almost insulting that Lucy would say something like that.

  “I remember that girl. She was kind of a mess, right? You two were a mess together.” Derek said with certainty, though I was convinced he was wrong. “I am glad she moved away, and you became normal again. It was like we lost you. You just acted so much different. I guess that was probably because Rachel was the way she was” Lucy added. I was baffled by everyone’s description of Rachel and I having had an
unhealthy relationship.

  “What about her?” Shannen finally asked.

  I tensed my arms keenly aware that whatever I say about a girl, I was apparently obsessed with, would come out completely wrong. “I ran into her older brother today. It was completely weird because I barely remembered he existed. He told me she has been missing for years, like since we last saw her”

  An identifiable shift radiated the room. This was apparently not something to be ignored. The rumblings in the room dissipated in favor of the words I was saying. I became the center of attention, and each of my friends appeared to be fully immersed in what I was saying as if I was telling a ghost story.

  “What does that mean? She’s been missing. Her brother doesn’t know where she’s been for the past four years? Did she run away?” Ellie asked rapidly expecting a reasonable explanation to a mostly unheard-of problem.

  “I’m not sure.”

  When I first met Rachel Duke, the first day of seventh grade, I remember being thankful for someone new. Before Rachel was homeschooled, she went to Eastern. There were only two grade schools in Manere, and she attended, only sporadically, the one on the opposite side of town from mine. It was more than just two elementary schools melding into one middle school, Rachel was a mystery from the beginning. In such a microscopic town where you either know everyone, or you know someone who knows someone, it seemed that no one knew anything about Rachel before that day. She dressed like she wanted to dress which was nothing like a twelve-year-old. Black jeans with minor tears, studded belt, leather jacket, and hair that appeared to have never met a brush. Yet, she wasn’t a dirty kid, which I had seen plenty of times. I just couldn’t fathom how someone so sure of themselves from the way, she carried herself to the way she dressed, could be my age. I was convinced she was a mole, attempting to infiltrate the junior high to sniff out troubled youth, and was in fact, twenty-five and from New York City.

  Even after spending nearly every day for almost two years together, I wasn’t entirely convinced she wasn’t a spy, but I did know that she wasn’t like me. “Hi, I’m Angela. Are you new here?” I asked in a prepubescent squeak with all the bloomed boldness of a child and only the sprout of adolescent uncertainty. Rachel just nodded not unkindly. I watched her for a beat too long, causing her to swing her shaggy raven locks abruptly as if to catch me off guard by considering my eyes.

  “Aren’t you new here too? There’s no way you’re an eighth-grader, not with those shorts.” Rachel spoke clearly. Her voice was evidence of her age. She could dress like an adult as she wanted but her youthful voice, though much more aged than mine, was not one of experience. Maybe I assumed she would have had the voice of a middle-aged smoker. “Oh, no. I meant to Manere. I’m new to the school too, but I went to West Manere Elementary. I don’t remember you there. Did you go to Eastside or are you from out of town?” I practically begged her for more information. I needed to know more about her. Anything about her.

  “I lived in a few other places. New York City, San Francisco, Paris…”

  “France?! You lived in Paris, France? Was it incredible?” I asked consumed by her.

  “Yeah. Whatever. It was nice. I’m kind of sick of seeing so much. It’s cool to be back home. I went to Eastside sometimes. When I wasn’t traveling or ditching. You know what I mean?” Rachel said with a crooked smile and her eyes wandering.

  “Yeah, for sure” I agreed quickly before she changed her mind about talking to me. I didn’t know what she meant, but she didn’t either. It wasn’t until I knew her for a few months when I noticed Rachel was not as exciting as she claimed to be and the only trait, she excelled at was lying. Even the best liars lose an audience when there’s piling evidence against everything they say.

  **

  “You don’t know if she’s missing, but her brother hasn’t seen her in years? What about her parents?” Shannen asked genuinely concerned.

  “They haven’t seen her either. Troy said the night before Rachel disappeared, she had an argument with her parents. The next morning, she was gone” I relayed Troy’s story.

  “Wait, a second here. You’re telling me that a fourteen-year-old girl disappears into the night and no one calls the cops or contacts the local news or anything? This is a small town, there are only so many places she can go.” Derek said.

  “Without a car, she wouldn’t have been able to leave town. That’s for sure. Who would have given her a ride? Especially since there are always those jack-ass cops doing patrols around the border.” Lucy added.

  “She’s right Angie. A cop would have seen she wasn’t supposed to leave town and would have called her parents or escorted her back home.” Derek confirmed.

  “Maybe she was in the trunk or something,” Ellie chimed in.

  “They check trunks,” Derek, Lucy, and I all responded in unison.

  “I just find the whole thing so odd. It’s like when Milo’s sister went missing. No one even tried to find her.” I noted.

  “I think everyone knew that Katie just wanted out of town. She didn’t run away; she went away to college,” Lucy said.

  “Who goes off to college like that? Who lives in a town their entire life, with a family who loves them, goes off to college and decides to never return? Never even send a letter or make a phone call?” I asked.

  “You” Lucy responded.

  “What? Why do you keep saying that? That is not something I would do. Stop saying that. When I move away, I am not going to cut off all communication with everyone. I’ll still be coming home for,”.

  “Will you though? What if you aren’t allowed? Maybe that’s what happened to Katie. The old folks in this town are always reminding us that we can’t leave Manere until we are old enough to go to college, but they do everything in their power to keep us in. Those who do get out, never come back. Maybe they’re forbidden,” Lucy explained.

  “Or maybe they see the rest of the world and realize there’s no point in wasting their time on this shit-hole or its freaky people,” Shannen said.

  “Do you really believe that? Do any of you believe that? How do you not see what’s happening?” Lucy asked frantically.

  She was becoming frustrated with us. I knew what she was talking about. Every few months Lucy and I would make a comment or a joke about how Manere was a prison with prisoners too stupid to escape. We would whisper elaborate conspiracies that were obviously the reason the town existed the way it did. After spinning long enough yarns that they became too farfetched even for us, we would just giggle and begin talking trash about someone from school. I think we both always kept the idea at the back of our minds. It was both comforting and disconcerting.

  “Is this one of your theories Lucy? Like how you thought Evan and Erin Madsen were the same person because they were never in the same room at the same time. Which by the way was total bullshit,” Derek said.

  “I’m talking about how bizarre it is that we aren’t allowed to leave town until we are legal adults. Not even like for a vacation. Why don’t our parents suggest going places? There is no way I am the only one who thinks the old people in this town are scamming us somehow.”

  “Lucy. We don’t need to get into it right now.”

  “Angie! We never get into it. Sure, you and I talk about it but not seriously. Well, I’m serious. I think there is something wrong about Manere, and I don’t mean just the horrible people or the fact that everyone’s too poor to have anything nice. How come no one ever comes here to visit? Not even passing through,” Lucy asked.

  “Because there’s nothing here. What would be the point? Who’s going to want to go to some desert with only a few hundred people? We don’t have anything worth the drive,” Ellie explained.

  “That’s not the point. People, other people from other cities take road trips. This is an isolated town. There would be at least one person interested in coming through, right?” Lucy Pushed.

  “You’re only saying that because it’s in movies but that doesn’t mean it�
�s as common as you say. Besides, maybe people try to drive in, but the highway doesn’t go to any other towns so it would be pointless. Also, the cops probably want to protect us, so that’s why they don’t let outsiders in.” Shannen explained positive she had resolved the conversation.

  I jumped in the conversation, “Why would the town do that though? Why would any town do that? What kind of town builds roads, so that there is only one way out and one way in? What kind of town wants to stay desperately poor by not allowing outside tourist money in town? Think about it. There are so many things Manere needs but can’t afford because there are no outside resources to help us. It’s just not normal, and you know it,”.

  “Alright. I admit that those are all legitimate reasons why this place is crazy. Are you sure, you aren’t just getting a bit dramatic? It’s all a little too coincidental that on the same day Rachel Duke, the Drama Queen of Drama Queens, is mentioned once again, you are suggesting there is something sinister going on in our town,” Derek said. It was tricky to argue with Derek because even though he seemed like a typical dumb jock, he was always rational and reasonably intelligent in subjects not pertaining to schoolwork. “It’s not impossible Derek,”, I said weakly.

  “Is this because of Rachel? Are you suggesting all of this because she’s on your mind again? Maybe all of this is a big joke. Maybe Rachel told Troy to tell you that shit if he ever saw you. She got off on scaring people Angie. You did too.”

  **

  Rachel and I did like to scare people. It started out small. During sleepovers, we would prepare elaborate pranks. Using strings and levers to cause objects to move or fall mysteriously during a seance. Then it would get a little darker, like having her brother, Troy, come to my house with a burlap bag over his head and try to break in through my bedroom window. That one terrified Ellie so much that she hyperventilated and Shannen couldn’t stop crying. The worst was when I pretended to go missing. My parents were staying at a local hotel for their anniversary, it was the best they could do since they never left town. Rachel and I decided to create the perfect potential murder scene. We moved around some furniture to show a struggle and left drops of blood near the front door. Oddly, Rachel used her own blood. She had a pocketknife in her backpack and sliced her arm. She told me I should really be the one to do it since I was the one who was pretending to be abducted but I refused. She shook her arm to allow the blood to splatter.