by Alla Kar
The rocks crunch underneath someone’s weight and then I see Taborie slide in next to me. He wraps his hands around his bent knees and turns to face me. His golden brown skin—that I would have killed for—is now a few shades darker.
He reaches up to scratch his scruffy jaw and turns to look at me. “I’ve got the fish almost ready. Are you hungry?”
I nod. “I’m starving,” the shake in my voice rattles me and I wipe away the evidence of tears trying to fall.
Taborie’s tree trunk of an arm reaches around me and pulls me close to his side. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “After we eat, how about you go get a bath. I’ll watch Kat and Beau can go with you.” He wipes at something on my face and laughs. “You’re dirty as hell.”
I blurt out a laugh. “Okay. Sounds good.”
When I get to the small fire, I take a seat beside Kat whose has almost finished all of the fish that’s sitting out in front of her on a piece of cloth. Taborie hands me mine and I give him a nod. The fish tastes like ash, but the meat is enough to put a good dent in your hunger.
When Kat finishes, she goes straight back into the shelter. I watch as she walks sluggishly and crawls inside. The heat from the fire is making me sweat more, so I push it out of my eyes with the back of my hand.
I feel his warmth behind me before I hear him. “You want to go with me to take a bath?”
Taborie makes eye contact with me from across the fire and I nod. “Yeah, I do.”
Beau’s jeans are low slung on his hips. His dark skin is burning badly on the shoulders like me, but he’s actually getting darker further down on his back. His hair has fallen from its upright position and spans across his sweaty forehead.
“Why did you take your shoes off? Your feet must be hurting.” He reaches out and helps me over a huge log that’s washed upon the bank a few miles down.
“I had flip-flops on. They broke.”
Beau cusses underneath his breath, takes a few large steps and cuts in front of me. “Get on my back,” he says. “I’ll carry you. It’s not far.”
I bite my lip. As badly as I don’t want—or need—to be this close to him, my feet are bleeding, and I’m starting to slip because of the blood. “Okay.”
I grab his hand and let him help me onto his back. He grabs my upper thighs, sliding his hands down to wrap my legs around his waist. “Hold on.”
I do.
We start walking and I can see the spot where we normally bathe getting closer. “I’m so burnt,” I whisper, feeling his body tense as my breath hits the back of his neck.
He hardly tilts his head to the side, the side of his mouth turning downward. “I can help you—if you need it. The water will eventually start to help your back. But just a little at a time.”
Just imaging him helping me bathe shoots shivers through me that gather in-between my legs. I quickly tighten my grip on his waist and nod. “Okay. I can help you if you want me to. You’re blistering.” I run my finger on the blister forming on his neck.
He clears his throat and then I’m being helped off his back and onto the river bank. My feet slip into the muddy sand and I feel it squish between my toes. Beau stares down at me, a heated glance melting my bones. “Tell me when you’re in.”
He turns, and I strip out of my clothes, feeling like I’m being watched out in the open like this. The water is cool but feels good against my sweaty skin as I slip lower and lower into the river.
I stop when I feel a dim burning start on my back. I close my eyes, and feel the water flowing underneath me as I place my hands down on the water’s surface. My voice is light when I speak but I can feel that he hears me. “Ready.”
Little tadpoles and fish are nibbling at my toes until I start wiggling them in the sand. His warmth is so close I fear I’ll feel him soon. And I’ll come undone like last time. Just one touch. “It’s going to burn,” his voice is a raspy whisper. That’s why his voice is so intoxicating. So deep that you feel you’ll fall into it when he opens those beautiful lips.
“Do it.”
I wait with my eyes closed, ignoring the warning signs ringing in my head. Four calloused fingers grip my hip, steadying me while the water smooth’s over my back.
I shiver, and not from the cool water cascading down my back but from the gentleness of his large hands on me. I tense when the water begins to burn my blisters but it quickly lightens.
I tense every time he lets the water fall. The one hand that’s keeping me steady moves and I feel the pad of this thumb circling the back of my hip. A low, heavy need settles between my legs, and I screw my eyes shut harder.
“You want me to wash your hair?” his breath hits my neck and my nipples harden. Knowing that he’s this close, and all he has to do is look down at me, is setting me on fire.
“Yes,” I whisper.
Slowly, the hand on my hip releases and lifts to tilt my head backwards. “I’m going to turn you to your side. Yes or no?” his mouth is at the hollow of my ear, teasing the sensitive skin on my neck with the scruff of his jaw.
I’m aching. He’s going to touch me, see me. I nod, my eyes are heavy and showing me a hazy dreamlike version of what’s happening. We’re not trapped on a mountain with no way home. And we haven’t been in a plane crash or lost anyone. We’re just here. The two of us, like I’d been wanting for months.
He turns me to the side, his left hand bracing at the nape of my neck and the other holding my chin. “I’m going to lay you back. It’s going to be slow. Tell me if you get scared.”
I make eye contact with him. He’s matching my gaze blink for blink but I can see the pain on his face. And before I know what I’m doing I’m giving him a nod. The skin between his brows pull in and then his eyes drift down slowly, taking in my breasts, open for the world to see.
With a face of stone, he clenches his jaw and his fingers tighten around the nape of my neck. “I’m going to drop your head back now,” he whispers, his voice deep like he hasn’t spoken in years.
My eyes drift shut and he leans me backwards slowly, dipping my head into the water. Not having shampoo, or anything, he lets me sit for a few seconds before pulling me back up.
I stumble from the weight of my long wet hair, catching myself against the hard lines of his chest. “You okay?”
My mouth is so dry but I force myself to ask, “Do you want me to do you?”
God! The torment in his eyes tells me the real answer to that question. “No,” he finally says.
I don’t ask why because I know how hard it is to be in this water with him naked.
Beau guides me out of the water, and keeps his head turned as I get dressed in the dry clothes we brought for ourselves. The huge white T-shirt swallows me, but not as bad as the old ladies’ underwear and adolescent shorts I fit my fat ass into.
When I turn around he’s already dressed and looking at something in a low branch of a tree close by.
“What is it?” I ask.
He turns to me, his too-blue eyes wide with excitement. A tiny bird is sitting in a low branch, mouth open and making an almost silent squawking noise. “It’s a baby bird.”
Gently, I reach out and touch the back of the bird. It flops over and starts making more noise. The limb shakes when I jerk my hand back to me. Beau smiles and lifts a dark brow. “Are you scared of birds and snakes?”
I roll my eyes. “No, just snakes. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“What are you scared of?” I ask, keeping eye contact and daring him to look the other way.
He gives me a sideways glance and picks the baby bird out of its nest. It looks so small in the palm of his hand. And my heart strings pull, making me want to take the baby bird with us. “Do you think it’s alone?” I ask.
He shakes his head and puts the little guy back into its nest. “No, the Mom’s probably watching us now.”
I shiver. There isn’t any way of knowing what’s watching us out here but I’m one hundred percent sure that I
don’t want to wait around to find out. Beau starts toward the camp but I call out, “Wait.”
He turns back to look at me and I take him in. Not caring that he’s watching me gawk at his wide shoulders and bulging abs. “Do we have to go back right now? I want to show you something.”
He follows me through the wooded area in silence. He doesn’t ask where we’re going and I’m glad. The woods in the daylight, the sun shining through the gaps between trees, and the shade they do offer from the burning sun is the only good thing I’ve found on the mountain.
Shortly after, I’m lying down in the middle of the field of baby’s breath. My arms and legs relax into the cool grass and I quickly close my eyes. I feel Beau lie down beside me, his warmth settling against me. “How long do you think we’ll be here?” I ask.
The tip of Beau’s finger touches the back of my hand, so I turn my palm over and wait as he interlaces his fingers with mine. “I don’t know, Bella.”
The way he says it tells me he doesn’t know how long it’ll take or even if we’ll make it that long. Panic tears at my throat, and I let the tears flow down my cheeks. Beau turns and pulls me against him. I let my head fall against his chest and listen to the steady beat of his heart as I cry.
His hard fingers dig into my back as he rocks me, holds me, and whispers to me. All I can focus on is the deep sound of his voice in my ear and his hard body underneath me. Slowly, I pull backwards, lying my arm straight out and resting my head against it so I can lie on my side.
Beau grips my jaw and rubs his thumb over my bottom lip, slowly, carefully watching my reaction. And there it is. The look I drowned in two weeks ago. The bluest of eyes staring back at me, like he knows everything that I’ve been through and he wants to erase all of it.
His gaze drifts to my lips, and I wet them without realizing it. A soft growl leaves his throat, and he leans his mouth lower, hovering his lips above mine. “Okay?” he whispers.
“Yes,” I whimper, searching for anything that will release this hurt. He bends his head lower, dismissing the space between us and presses his lips against me. The instant those full lips press against mine, my body loses control. All the pent-up energy, the want, is out and taking control of me.
One hand reaches around me and drags me closer to him, forcing me to feel his erection settling against my stomach. And it turns me on to the point that I can’t even fathom stopping. Everything is pouring out of me and into the kiss. My anger, my fear, my hurt, my loss. Everything.
The hand on my hip lowers to cup my ass, before dragging me even closer to his body. A low growl leaves his throat, and I open my mouth to give him access to what I’ve been wanting.
I moan when the hand on my jaw grips the back of my neck and forces my head upward, and my mouth opens wider. I pull his dark hair in my hands and run my fingers through the thickness. A whirlwind of need is spiraling inside of me, all while he gently pushes me to the ground and settles between my legs.
A fevered moan escapes me when he presses into me, sending the throbbing between my legs into a red-hot ache, all the while he’s fucking my mouth with his tongue like there is no tomorrow.
A loud scream echoes through the woods and Beau tears his mouth from mine. His breath hits harshly against my face as we both stop to listen. Another call lets out but it’s not human, it sounds more like an animal.
Beau looks down, cups my face in his big hands that make me feel so small beneath him and recaptures my lips with his. It’s hard, fierce, like he’ll never get to do it again. “We need to get back.”
And when he helps me up to my feet and I stand to look at those big blue eyes, the guilt from last time triples. Because not only is this my boyfriend’s best-friend. It’s my dead boyfriend’s best-friend. And I see it on his face too, but before I can say anything he presses his hand to the side of my neck and gently strokes my skin. “Let’s go, Dove.” And I have nothing else to do but follow him.
The fire is bigger when we get back. Taborie is trying to sharpen his sphere and Kat is bent down by the river trying to get a drink.
Taborie looks up at us and a huge smile breaks out over his face. “Did you two even take a bath?”
What? I glance down at my clothes to see dirt stains, small baby’s breath and crumpled clothes. My cheeks grow hot and I roll my eyes. “I’m going to lie down for a bit.”
***
Once we’re back at the waterfall, Kat goes straight to bed complaining that her stomach hurts. And I believe it; the smell of the fish is starting to make me sick to my stomach.
When Taborie excuses himself, I feel the silent awkwardness settle over our fire. Beau’s blue gaze catches mine from across the fire making my toes curl. “Why don’t you sing more often?” I ask.
Beau’s brow lifts and he tosses a piece of stick into the fire. “Because it’s just for fun.”
“You’re really good,” I say.
He runs his fingers over his face and gives me a cheeky smile. “Thanks, Dove. You’re good at things too.”
Embarrassment settles over me and I pretend to be intrigued by the fire. “What’s your favorite song?”
Beau leans forward and tosses the stick he’s been picking at into the fire. When he lifts his gaze, fire seers through my stomach. “You already know the answer to that, Dove.”
And I do. It’s the song that he sang to me at my apartment. The memory tries to work its way toward the front of my mind and I forcefully shove it back. I don’t need to think about that right now. Not now.
Beau stands up and walks over to me, offering me his hand. “Let’s go to bed.”
And I do.
***
My back is killing me when I wake up. The rocks aren’t the best mattress. Now I understand why cavemen didn’t walk straight up, their backs were so fucked up from sleeping on the damn rocks.
I let my eyes flutter open and adjust to the sunlight shining through the waterfall. I sit up and something flutters to the floor beside me. Kat is still asleep beside me but both of the guys are gone. I drag myself up and over toward the folded piece of paper that was on my chest.
I grab the folded up piece of paper in my fingers and slowly unfold it.
It’s written in small cursive handwriting that I know is Beau’s. And when I see the lyrics to The Reason written out on the crinkled paper, my heart thumps loudly in my chest.
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Chapter Seven
Beau
Bella is looking for me the second she steps out of the waterfall. Her dark gray eyes take me in and I see the recognition that she found my note. I feel like a fifteen-year-old boy that’s head over heels for their first crush.
She stops an arm’s width away from me. I see the wheels turning in her head just like yesterday in the woods. She had said it was okay and then you can almost see the guilt settle over her. And I can’t blame her because I feel the exact same thing she does.
When she opens her mouth, I hear Taborie yell, “You coming Beau?”
She swallows her words. “What are we doing today?” she asks, tucking her hair behind her ears.
I clear my throat. “Going to look for a trail. We think it’s our only chance of trying to find other people.”
She nods. “Can we come? Or do we have to stay here?”
I lift a brow and rub the dull knife against the edge of the cane. “Do you want to come?”
She nods. “It’s scary here by myself. I feel like someone’s watching us or something.”
I nod and drag the end of our sphere against the ground to stand it upright next to me. “Sure. I don’t see why everyone can’t come.”
Kat and Bella walk slightly behind us, as Taborie and I chop our way through the brush. “Damn, how big is this mountain again?”
I snort and wipe the sweat off of my brow. “Big. Our Spanish teacher said it’s the bigges
t in Spain.”
Taborie snorts and shakes his head. “Of course. So,” he clears his throat and glances behind us. “What’s up?”
I furrow my brow. “What do you mean? What’s up since the last time I saw you? Or what’s up with the rescue?”
He rolls his eyes and swats at a huge bug. “What’s up with Bella and you?”
“Nothing.”
He laughs. “Man of many words.”
A smile curls at my lips. “Nothing’s happened.”
“So I guess being completely dirty form head to foot after a bath is normal where you’re from, right?”
I sigh. “Okay,” I glance back over my shoulder. “We kissed. And then she came to her senses and realized that we’re not supposed to be doing this. That’s what happened.”
Taborie sighs. “Ah, now we get to it. The real reason you’re blushing like a girl.”
Goddammit. “Don’t start with me, Borie. Don’t even start with me.”
I grip the cane tighter and then see the expression on his face. “That’s what my wife calls me.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and continue straight ahead. I’ve complained about loving a girl that’s right in front of me. And he’s hundreds of miles away from his, and she doesn’t even know if he’s alive or not.
“Listen—“
He juts his hand out in front of me and tilts his head upward. “What is it?”
He slowly shakes his head, face in full concentration. “It’s nothing. It’s so quiet. I’ve never heard it this quiet here.”
“What’s going on?” Bella asks.
I glance over at her and immediately want to rub the worry line off her forehead with my finger, but I don’t, I reach across and grab her hand in mine. “He says it’s too quiet.”
She tugs on her bottom lip between her teeth and looks over at Taborie. But when I see where he’s looking ice runs deep to my toes. Both his eyes and posture is directed above our heads. At first, I pray it’s a helicopter that I can’t hear yet, but then I know when I hear it.